


Abandoned; Not Helpless

by LightPinkTheColorOfMyAura



Series: Captive Paladins [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Backburner Klance, Biracial Lance, Bisexual Lance, Canon Divergence, Galran OCs, Gay Keith, Implied/Referenced Non-Con/Dub-Con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Situations, M/M, No Sex Scenes, Post Season 2, Power Imbalance (Lancelot), Prisoner of War, Recovery, Sam Holt is Dead, Trans Girl Pidge, Unhealthy Relationship (Lancelot), captive lance, endgame klance, lance centric, one-sided lancelot, road to recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:06:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 108,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightPinkTheColorOfMyAura/pseuds/LightPinkTheColorOfMyAura
Summary: In a mission gone wrong, post-season 2, Lance is captured by Galran forces and taken to Prince Lotor, the current leader of the empire. Though his treatment is far from harsh, the rescue he's hoping and waiting for will never come-Team Voltron thinks he died in the mission.Captive Lance AU from tumblr user likeaslaptotheface





	1. Mission Gone Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> In which a mission goes horribly wrong

Only a few quintents after Shiro’s disappearance, Allura was able to collaborate with the Black lion to find him. It was a bit of a trip, as Black had managed to send Shiro’s mental and physical being through the astral plane and to a planet in a peaceful system, just on the edge of the empire’s reach. The team had extracted him from the planet quickly, leaving behind word of Voltron and the sense of unrepayable gratitude. 

Not long after Shiro was returned safely to the team, new distress signals began showing up on Allura’s monitor. The Princess and her advisor were concerned beyond belief. They had heard of Prince Lotor, yes, but they hadn’t seen him in the year since their awakening. They had safely assumed he was dead. 

Hunk was the first to ask about the Prince. “So, if this guy is the real thing, how bad is he?” His hand gestures opened up, indicating levels of treachery, “Like, is he a step up or down from Zarkon? On a scale of Pidge to Zarkon, how intimidating is he?” Pidge let out a scoff of indignation.

“Buddy, don’t you mean on a scale of  _ Zarkon _ to  _ Pidge _ ?” Lance pitched in, resting his arm nonchalantly on Pidge’s head and leaning slightly onto her. “‘Cause in my opinion Pidge is wa-ay scarier.” The young girl pulled away from Lance, only to shove her shoulder back into him and throw him off balance. Pleased with herself and grinning, she took a seat in the common area and began messing with some Altean tech and her computer. 

Coran and Allura remained more stoic than usual. The redheaded man didn’t even humor Lance’s jokes with a reaction. The Princess cleared her throat to indicate that they needed to get serious. The Blue Paladin’s playful grin faltered, and he took a seat as well. “Prince Lotor,” she began slowly, choosing her words and tone carefully, “is a far more dangerous adversary than Zarkon.”

Pidge stopped typing on her computer. Her hands seemed frozen, and time halted for a few ticks. The youngest Paladin spoke quietly, her eyes still fixed on the computer, “We’re not  _ any _ closer to accomplishing anything we set out to do a year ago.” The boys fidgeted in their seats. 

“Well, we’ve gotten a visual on your brother, and we know he’s not in Galran captivity anymore,” Hunk offered hopefully, only wanting to help her feel better about something.

“And,” Keith added, “we have more allies in this fight than we started with.” His hand traced his knife absentmindedly, “That means more of a chance at winning this fight, and more of a chance of someone recognizing your family.” 

The small girl nodded slowly. She took a breath and looked up to the Princess, “Sorry, it just kind of hit me is all.” She forced a smile and added, “Please, tell us more about this  _ ‘nacked  _ Prince.”

Coran took this cue to take over the explanation. He pulled up a photo of a rather docile-appearing Galran man. With lighter purple skin than any they had encountered, the Prince certainly didn’t look entirely Galran. Especially without the reptilian or fluffy features found on most of the commanders and soldiers they had fought. More alarmingly and noticed by the whole team, he bore red Altean eye scales, prominently displayed below his yellow-tinted eyes. His ears were also reminiscent of Altean ears, albeit slightly longer than Allura’s or Coran’s. Yet the most distinct feature, and amusing to one of the Paladins, was the Prince’s long, pale lilac hair that wisped around his face and just past his shoulders. 

“Hard to consider such a pretty adversary as  _ dangerous _ ,” Lance commented. He laughed and continued before anyone had the chance to reprimand him for such a frivolous statement, “What I wouldn’t do to get to braid hair like that. Allura and Keith won’t let me touch theirs.”

Keith cut his eyes at the Blue Paladin, “Would you quit complaining about my hair and listen about this guy?” Lance shut up, but gave Keith a dirty look throughout most of Coran’s explanation.

“Prince Lotor is the son of Zarkon and an unknown Altean woman. It is possible that his mother is the Altean Druid Haggar, but really we just don’t know yet.” Coran sighed and flipped the screen to a new photo, a blurry one where the Prince’s hair could identify him in the distance. He was wearing a standard-issue commander uniform, no helmet. “With some help from our allies in the Blade and surrounding systems, we’ve learned that Prince Lotor was serving in the far reaches of the universe during Zarkon’s reign, as a commander. Once we killed Zarkon, however, he was brought back to the center of the fleet with Haggar to take his place as heir apparent.” A new picture was placed on the screen, of the Prince in much finer clothing and a circlet similar to Princess Allura’s. He was standing above an arena in the emperor’s box, appearing to be giving a speech of some sort to the spectators.  

Hunk was frowning, absorbing all of the information. “So,” he began, “what makes him worse than Zarkon, exactly?”

“Mainly his treatment of everyone.” Coran replied. Shiro opened his mouth to protest, but Coran continued, “Zarkon would fight people in arenas, destroy worlds, and commit many violent atrocities. Lotor, however, is downright cruel. His harem is famous, and invitations to join are not optional. His manipulation is well practiced and effective. He has turned worlds against themselves to allow his enemies to destroy themselves for him, and more. Zarkon has always been a horror, but he was straightforward and transparent with his motives. Lotor has an ability to fight underhanded like no other."

* * *

The team was back in action only quinents later with information provided by the Blade. Their ally, along with many other rebel groups, had members being held in a high-security prison ship on the edge of the Barsodi galaxy, system 3SS7.

The castle had been stationed just out of sight, behind the moon of the nearest planet. Allura contacted the main ship, requesting an audience with the commander aboard. As she spoke with the Galran, Pidge used the connection to probe their system for information. Once the download of information was complete, Allura dragged out the conversation for as long as possible to distract the commander and other soldiers from the impending attack.

Shiro and Pidge flew in the Green Lion to use the cloaking device to get as close to the command room as possible. Lance, Hunk, and Keith split up to take different jobs. By the time the Galran commander cut the communications with Allura, the attack was already under way.

Hunk and Keith took out as many guns as possible on the main ship and the two surrounding support ships, to cover for the other three Paladins. Lance landed and entered the main prison ship to assist Shiro and Pidge with the extraction. Blue and Green will be used to transport prisoners. 

Shiro used his heated prosthetic arm to slice through yet another incoming droid. “Pidge!” He hollered over his shoulder, “Have the doors been released? It’s getting a bit-” He grunted as a soldier struck  him, only to retaliate with his own hit, “It’s getting a bit  _ crowded _ in here!” 

Pidge typed away earnestly, “ _ Give me another second, I’m almost done! _ ” She snapped, then slammed a button down. A tick passed, then an ear-splitting alarm blazed. Loud clunk noises echoed through the cell halls as doors swung open. 

Shiro breathed a sigh a relief, only for it to be interrupted by Pidge calling his name. Before he could even react to the reason--three soldiers arriving to the control room--one of them was shot down. The other two turn to the shooter, unseen by Shiro and Pidge, and start firing off their guns. Two expertly aimed shots later, the soldiers lay dead on the floor, and Lance popped his head through the door.

“You guys coming or  _ what _ ?” He asked, sweat forming on his brow and his voice urgent, “I need some help out here getting these prisoners loaded up!” The two grinned at their teammate and followed.

“Nice shot there, bro.” Pidge congratulated, looking up to him. Lance laughed, brushing off the compliment and resting his hand on her shoulder. “No, seriously,” she assured him, “I don’t know what we’d do without you.” 

He hesitated a second at the first cell, “Thanks Pidgeon.” He replied sincerely. Turning back to the mission, he called out to the prisoner in the cell, “We’re the Paladins of Voltron, and this is a rescue mission. Come on out!”

Shiro was proud of how far Lance had come. “You load up the prisoners from this end into the Blue lion, Pidge and I will load from the other end into the Green lion.” Lance nodded as the two left to break out the remaining prisoners.

The extraction was coming along well. Hunk and Keith were able to keep Galran reinforcements from landing on the main prison ship to attack Shiro, Lance, and Pidge. The Black and Green Paladin worked more quickly than Lance, as they could escort two prisoners to the Green lion at a time. 

The prisoners were nearly loaded up when there was a crash on the rear end of the ship, near where Blue was waiting. Pidge and Shiro looked at each other. Pidge radioed to Hunk immediately, “Did a ship get through? Do we have incoming?”

Hunk, preoccupied with a particularly persistent ion cannon, allowed Keith to answer, “Roger that. One landed in the back, unconfirmed number of soldiers on board.” 

Shiro radioed Lance as soon as the reinforcements were confirmed. “Lance, you’ve got visitors coming your way. We’re coming to help.” The Blue paladin radioed back a short agreement, cuing Pidge and Shiro to run towards his location.

The sound of shooting began as Pidge and Shiro rounded the corner. Pidge called out Lance’s name and started sprinting towards the noise. Shiro followed in suit, readying his arm for a fight. Upon reaching their teammate, however, the fight had already finished. 

“Hey guys,” Lance bit out, his right hand pressed gently against his lower left ribcage. “Got nicked just a bit, but I cleared them out.” Pidge rushed to his side, and Shiro looked inside the surrounding cells to ensure nobody else was coming.

“Clear,” He called out, just before Pidge could demand, “Let me see.” Lance grimaced slightly, lifting his hand up to show a small, but bloodied, cut along his suit. The other let out a breath, “It could have been worse,” Pidge said, “but the Princess is still going to want you in a pod today.”

“Yeah,” Lance forced a smile, “I figured as much, I just hate those things.” 

Shiro rested a hand on Lance, turning to face him and putting his back to Blue, “You did well, Lance. Next time we won’t split up though. Safety in numbers.” Lance’s smile became more genuine. It wasn’t every day he got a compliment from his hero. 

Movement in the back of the prison ship caught his attention, cutting the moment between the two short. “Hey is that--” Lance began, stopping his question mid-way when the glint of metal shone through the dark of the hall. He shoved Shiro aside and drew his bayard. The single movement became several and his shots did nothing. The darkness made aiming impossible.

Before the reinforcements could attack, an explosion rang out on the opposite side of the hall to the Blue lion. Hunk radioed in and apologized, then added, “There’s more ships coming, you guys need to get who you can and get  _ out _ !” 

Lance replied, “Roger that,” then turned to Shiro and Pidge and urged, “Get back to Green, I’ve got Blue right here.”

Pidge and Shiro began their way out, watching as Lance shot a few soldiers and thinned out the attack. As he began boarding Blue, a shot pierced through his shoulder. The youngest Paladin was unable to keep from yelling out, “ **_Lance!_ ** ” The Galran forces redirected their attention to where the call came from, their leader sending three soldiers towards Pidge and Shiro. 

Shiro muttered something under his breath before picking Pidge up by the waist and taking off towards Green. She watched as the leader of the small force grabbed a weakened Lance by the collar of his uniform and dragged him away. “ _ Shiro _ .” she snapped, “Shiro we can’t  _ leave  _ him we have to go  _ back _ !” Shiro boarded Green with Pidge still in hand and dropped her down in the pilot’s seat.

“Pidge we have to go get the other lions first, we can’t fight barely armed.” He assured her, urging her to lead the Green lion back to the castle, where he could pilot Black. Agreeing weakly, Pidge piloted Green to the castle. At arrival, however, they’re shocked to see Blue in the docking bay.

“He got away?” Pidge asked excitedly, “How did  _ manage _ that?” Her worry dissolved, and faded into victory as Hunk and Keith started hollering in excitement. Turning out to see the fight, Shiro and Pidge had a perfect view of total destruction. Not a single part of the prison ship, nor a single support ship, was left untouched by the explosions and damage dealt by the Yellow and Red lions.

Even Shiro felt like celebrating, until Allura called out over the comms,

“ _ Why did the Blue lion return without Lance? _ ”

* * *

“ _ We saw both lions leave, so we starting blowing up the ship! _ ”

“ _ How was I supposed to know he wasn’t on board? _ ”

“You made me  _ leave him _ .”

“His communications are offline, and no ships were sighted leaving.”

Coran was frozen, watching the team fall apart as they yelled at each other and made excuses for themselves. He knew this was a possibility, they were in a  _ war _ . He knew deaths happened, he knew everyone he loved could die,  _ again _ . But that’s the worst part of tragedy, you never really expect it. He stepped aside silently and retired to his room without telling anyone. Losing a son was a pain few were unfortunate enough to experience. Losing a second son was unimaginable.

Keith felt sick the moment there was a lull in the arguing. He lost  _ Lance _ . Lance was  _ gone, _ and he was never coming back. They had to check the wreckage. Maybe he was still alive. What if he was like Shiro? Sent to a safe place, easy to find and easy to save. He couldn’t handle this, not after how he reacted to Lance’s feelings. 

“ _ Now’s not really a good time to think of that kind of thing, Lance. You need to take your position as a Paladin more seriously. _ ” Keith had assumed that his friend was being the normal, obnoxious flirt that he always was. He realized otherwise when Lance dipped his head low and apologized, making a quick exit before Keith could even process that it hadn’t been a meaningless confession. Nor had he the chance to talk to the Blue Paladin, as Lance would change the subject and avoid being alone with Keith at all costs.

  
Pidge took solace in Hunk’s warm hugs, the only Paladin willing to cry first. The floodgates opened and Hunk sobbed as he held onto his friend, the others in the room pained at the sight. Nobody knew how to proceed, nobody  _ wanted _ to proceed. 

* * *

Thrown on the ground roughly, Lance’s vision swam as he tried to sit up to look at his captor. He could taste blood in his mouth, and feel his head throbbing. The soldiers had roughed him up quite a bit before leaving him for their commander. Footsteps lead up to where he lay on the cold metal floor. He scoffed, though it probably looked much more like a pained cry or cough, at the shiny purple shoes. 

The man attached to the shiny shoes snapped his fingers, and guards pulled Lance to his feet. He cried out in pain as clawed Galran fingers dug into his shoulder wound. Vision fading around the edges, Lance could finally look at who has was brought to.

Prince Lotor, even more well-kempt than in the pictures, stood before him with a smug expression. “Now why,” he began, his smug expression spreading into a nasty smirk, “did my father have such difficulty capturing one of you?” A laugh escaped him, “I found you rather easy to catch.”

Lance swept his tongue along the inside of his lip, where the blood was coming from. With a sneer of complete contempt, he spat in Lotor’s face, “With a face like  _ that _ , you’d have had better luck picking me up in a bar.”

 


	2. Captive Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance experiences doubts; The team takes the first step towards closure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! The past month has been very hectic with MegaCon over the weekend, but here's the second chapter! Enjoy!

Lance grins at the Prince. Internally, his mind is screaming at him. _Why_ did he think that spitting in the face of a cruel and treacherous man was a good idea? He could practically feel his own fear radiating from him, yet he forced himself to maintain a cheeky grin for show.

Lotor’s face contorted into disgust as he wiped the bloody saliva off of his face with the back of his hand. He scrutinized the Blue Paladin’s figure. Now his captive, the boy was wearing his torn, dirtied Voltron uniform. Red blood covered his left side and right shoulder and arm. The sight was curious to the Prince, a Paladin with no contact to his team, wounded and unarmed, completely unaffected by the danger he is in. Brown skin and hair piqued Lotor’s curiosity, a soft rarity in the sea of purple within the empire.

He grabbed the Paladin by his chin to better look at his face. The boy squirmed, held fast by restraints but undeterred in his attempts to get out of Lotor’s grip. Blue eyes, they were soft and nice, Lotor supposed. Though he wasn’t particularly fond of blue. “What,” the Paladin gritted out, trying once more to yank himself from Lotor’s hand. This time the Prince allowed it, the boy tumbling back onto the ground. He sat upright immediately and shot the Prince a hateful glare, “What are you doing?”

Lotor ignored his question and spoke quickly to the guards in an unfamiliar language. This had happened to the Paladins before, it meant that there was a language not yet imported into the castle’s mainframe. Lance was determined to be acknowledged. “What are you _doing_?” He repeated, louder and with more force. The Prince nodded to the guard, who replied with the mantra, ‘Vrepit Sa.’

Turning his attention back to his new prisoner, Lotor mirrored Lance’s previous grin. He didn’t quite succeed at cheeky, falling short instead to a smug and mischievous expression, “I was inspecting my new prisoner.”

* * *

Lance was shuffled along to various rooms, a guard accompanying him gave a brief explanation to him in broken sentences. He assumed it meant the guard was attempting to speak in a language that Lance could understand through the castle’s quintessence. Although, that would mean he was speaking a language at least ten thousand years old. No wonder he wasn’t doing so well. Although he really should have been watching better, the Blue Paladin let himself wonder about how the castle’s translators worked instead.

It wasn’t until the guard stopped the unusual tour to try and strip him that Lance was pulled from his thoughts, “ _Whoa,_ dude!” He yelped, pulling away from the grabby hands. “Watch where you’re touching!” he snapped. The guard disregarded him.

“Healing pods, by Prince’s orders.” He replied curtly. Lance couldn’t tell if the curtness was because of the language barrier or annoyance, though he guessed it didn’t really matter. He swatted the guard’s hands away.

“I can put the healing suit on myself, just tell me where it is.” He snapped. The guard waited a tick before deciding that it would just be easiest to let him put it on himself. He provided Lance with the suit, a deep purple instead of the castle’s white and gray. The Blue Paladin took it and backed away from the guard slowly. He paused for a few ticks, then realized there was no way the guard was going to turn around to let him change. Huffing and muttering insults to Galran kind everywhere, Lance turned around and changed, trying his best not to notice the feeling of eyes on his back.

The moment he was changed, the guard escorting Lance gripped his arm and pulled him towards a cryo pod far more intimidating than the ones he had seen. Perhaps it was just the circumstances he was in, though. It was very similar to those on board the castle ship, only slightly bigger. The pod opened, allowing him a better look inside. A major difference in the pods, besides the darker color scheme, was this one had _shackles_. The sight nearly made the Blue Paladin panic. He had to remind himself that he was a prisoner, and they wouldn’t want prisoners escaping.

Lance wasn’t extremely comfortable with healing pods after the incident with Sendak’s Quintessence. Truth be told, he would often understate his injuries to avoid going in one. A glance back at the guard’s rigid expression told him that there wasn’t really an option to talk his way out of getting into it this time. He stepped in slowly, the wrist and ankle cuffs opening as he did so. As soon as his hands and feet were in position, they snapped shut. Lance waited for the drowsiness of the pod’s anesthetic to kick in.

* * *

A gasp of breath brought Lance back to consciousness. Aches and pains were a thing of the past, but being suddenly jolted awake stripped him of his balance momentarily. He hit the floor unceremoniously, though the noise _did_ at attract the attention of the guard who had escorted him there. He looked almost annoyed at how soon the prisoner had finished healing. Annoyance or not, he helped Lance to his feet and lead him to the next destination.

Feeling much better, Lance’s mouth got the better of him, “How romantic, a surprise just for me?” he asked sweetly. A disgusted grunt from the guard made the ridiculousness worth it.

The several dabosh walk must have felt like much longer to the guard, who had invoked every pet name Lance could think of during that time. Finally reaching a large door, the guard spoke to another Galran soldier. It appeared that they were trading off, but Lance couldn’t tell for sure, as they spoke in the newer and unfamiliar language.

The new guard opened the door, revealing a large room. Lance couldn’t quite tell what the room’s purpose was. If anything, it reminded him of a college dorm, or a studio apartment. There was a small black table, with only two stools on either side of it. There was a simple but finely made purple and black bed towards the back, with a nightstand, lamp, and some alien tech all within reach. The most disturbing and unsettling aspect of the room was how _human_ it seemed. The room was very tidy, but lived in. Much like that of an organized and responsible young adult. It was extremely uncomfortable for him to see something resembling humanity in such a desolate ship.

“Come, come,” A voice called from the other side of the room, slightly hidden from the two by a wall cutting part-way into the room. It seemed to separate the living area from the area the person was in. Lance nearly froze. Though the voice was much more relaxed and informal now, it was unmistakably the Prince’s. “Have a seat at the table.” He ordered, more likely to the guard than to Lance.

A few ticks passed before the guard nudged him, indicating that he could either walk to be dragged. He hesitated a moment longer, knowing that it’d be best to avoid injuries as much as possible, but wanting to prolong the inevitable as much as possible. Slowly, he walked over to the table and stood behind a seat. He could see the Prince from the new position in the room. Lotor was in a small, kitchen-like area, and appeared to be...cooking? Lance wasn’t sure how to process the sight, though he supposed even evil empire leaders should know how to make simple dishes.

The Prince finished the strange food he was preparing and made two bowls of it. It was a thick, stew-like mixture with chunks of colorful ingredients in it. Picking up the bowls, he turned to walk to the table, stopping at the sight of Lance standing. “Sit.” He repeated, curtly. Lance narrowed his eyes at the other man, then glanced at the guard. Neither seemed to indicate that this situation wasn’t normal, though he wasn’t sure that the level of normalcy would affect how he felt about it. Silently, he took a seat. The Prince closed the gap to the table, placing food in front of Lance and sitting down with the other bowl.

The Blue Paladin watched as the Prince ate some of his food. He could feel the warmth from the bowl near his hands, and the stew itself had a wonderful smell. His stomach knotted with hunger, and he tried to remember the last time he ate. He had eaten breakfast on the day he was captured, but the mission had taken several hours. Once he was captured, he had no idea how long the flight to Prince Lotor’s ship was, or how long he had been in the healing pod. Running some numbers through his mind, his best guess was that it’d been nearly a quintent and a half since he last ate, and the food before him was extremely tempting.

Noticing his hesitation, the Prince set his spoon down, “I’m extremely angry that you spat at me.” he spoke calmly. The Prince unsettled Lance. He was very difficult to read, and his expression currently showed nothing. Least of all the anger he spoke of. “Your punishment for that, however, would not come in the form of a poisoned meal. Eat now or fight in the arena hungry.” Lance clenched his fists at the mention of the arena. How would he last in there? Even Shiro, as strong and well-trained as he was, struggled in the arena and could barely talk about what happened in there. “If it’s the foreign food you’re concerned about, eat. The diagnostic scan from the healing pods revealed which foods were nutritionally compatible with your body. I’m perfectly capable of cooking to fit various species.”

Lance picked up his spoon and finally found his voice, “What’s a prince doing cooking anyway?” He asked, scooping up a yellow chunk in the stew that most closely resembled a potato. The taste revealed that whatever it was, it wasn’t anything near a potato with its tart flavor.

“You don’t keep control of an empire for 10,000 years without making a large number of enemies. The safest food to eat is that which you’ve prepared yourself.” That did make sense. “Now, since you’ll be here for a while--”

“ _What_ ?” Lance interrupted, smacking his spoon to the table, “I will _not_ be here for very long. My team will come for me, and when they do, we’re going to kick your ass to the farthest reach of your _empire_ and back.” He snapped, his voice getting increasingly louder. A reaction flickered across Lotor’s face, too quickly for Lance to properly decipher.

“I would expect nothing less from Voltron.” The Prince replies, his tone remaining even and unreadable. “If you truly are important to them and their mission, I expect to hear word from the lovely Princess herself. Or possibly alarms from an attempted rescue mission. In the meantime, however, you can expect to be here for at least the next few quintents. Feel free to consider yourself more of a companion to me than a prisoner. You’re much more interesting than expected.”

Lance couldn’t help the feeling of disgust that rose up from his gut at Lotor’s words. Though there was nothing inherently sexual about it, he couldn’t shake the feeling of the implied meaning. Instead he forced a grin and snarked back, “Considering a prisoner your companion just goes to show how few of your _own_ people want to fill that spot.” He ate some more of his stew, this time finding that red was slightly bitter. Lotor remained carefully reactionless, a trait that was beginning to seriously annoy the Blue Paladin. “And anyway, what am I supposed to do if I’m not being restrained like a regular prisoner?” he added. What exactly was Lotor up to?

“How many people have, or have not filled the position of my companion is none of your concern,” He quipped back, taking another spoonful of stew and holding it near his mouth, “Your priority is keeping me entertained and looking pretty next to me.” He took his bite of food, not reacting the the indignant huff of his tablemate.

Lance refused to speak for the rest of the meal. It certainly was better than food goo, but he would never admit that to anyone. Especially not if better food came with the price of his current company. With a clean bowl and a content appetite, the Blue Paladin ventured a question once more, “Why aren’t you trying to get any information out of me?” He asked, setting his spoon down on the table and becoming serious. “Most prisoner scenarios involve interrogation of some sort.”

The Prince took the bowls without a word as he rose from the table to put them in his kitchen area. Sitting back down, he finally began to speak, “In all honesty, I doubt you have any information whatsoever that would be useful to me or the Empire,” the Prince admitted. That stung more than Lance had expected, but even he knew it was true.  “Your worth as a pilot and paladin in and of itself should be sufficient reason for the rest of your team to attempt--and fail--to rescue you.” Lotor seemed to note Lance’s slight change in demeanor. “Surely it’s no shortcoming of your character. You simply do not understand the castle’s language, technology, or data content as well as the others, therefore I cannot receive reliable information of that caliber.”

Lance hardened his features, “I don’t need _you_ telling me of my shortcomings, I understand them perfectly, you overgrown lavender bush.” He stood up from the table, his hands gripping the edge tightly. “I think I’m done with this, this,” he struggled for the word for a moment, “this charade of kindness. I am not, and I never will be, any ally of yours.”

Still sitting and unaffected by Lance’s outburst, a short scoff escaped Lotor’s lips. “In war, it’s best to keep an air of mystery. Revealing such a spirited resistance so early on only makes me more eager to see it broken.” A nasty smile settled on his face, revealing teeth just pointed enough to look unnatural and animalistic. Crooked and forced, the expression made the other narrow his eyes, in fear of showing anything other than determination and anger.

* * *

The standoff between Lotor’s malicious smile and Lance’s glare was broken by the Prince’s sudden change. Without a moment’s hesitation, he had wiped his face clean of expression, then reverted back to his unsettling, but civil, unreadable expression. An order later, Lance was swept away to an adjoined room, with no exit other than the door he entered by.

The door was locked behind him, without a guard inside, allowing him to examine his new quarters alone.

There was a small bed, fitted in purple and black fabrics, as the rest of the room was decorated. A small relief area was in the corner, in plain view. There was also just enough room on the open floor for him to lay comfortably. If nothing else, he figured he could do some basic exercises to keep himself in shape and from going stir-crazy. Everything, upon further inspection, was bolted to the floor. Even the blanket and pillow on the bed, though they seemed very comfortable, were not removeable. For a split second, Lance entertained the outrage that he was not to be trusted. The gravity of the situation followed immediately after, leaving him to try and inspect the room even harder. To find something. Anything, anything at all useful.

In the end, all he discovered was four cameras, too high for him to reach, climb, or jump to. They likely could view every inch of the tiny room. _At least_ , he thought to himself, _that explains the lack of privacy in the bathroom._

Over the course of the next few quintents, Lance paced the room most of the day, playing games in his mind and thinking of things to do once the others came to get him. He considered a few escape options, as Prince Lotor had been removing him for two small meals a day with him, but decided against planning a break out. It was too risky. Additionally, if Lotor still had his helmet somewhere as a sick trophy, Allura or Blue could possibly track him. It would be useless for him to make his rescue mission more difficult for the team by dying in a failed escape plan or getting lost in the far reaches of whatever galaxy they were in.

He tried marking how much time had passed, but even with the set meals the Prince shared with him, it was difficult keeping track. He had nothing he could scratch into the floor or walls with, not that either was soft enough to scratch anyway, nor was he able to tell the time in the dimly lit quarters. He did feel a bit relieved every time Lotor brought him out of the room. It was uncomfortable to be in a small area with poor lighting for so long. The relief was nearly always followed with crushing guilt. He had a hunch that the familiar, almost friendly, face he was being greeted by for every meal was a tactic. Nothing could make him want to stay, though. _Nothing_.

* * *

Humming woke Lance from his rest. He didn’t sleep as much as he felt his body needed, but not even regal bed he was given could make him feel at ease enough to sleep for more than a few vargas at a time. He had come to expect many things from the Prince in such a short time period that he’d been there. (Or at least, he hoped it was a short period of time.)

Sickly sweet compliments laced with poison to indicate that _Lotor_ thought he was worthwhile, but his _team_ didn’t. A gentle face, slow to anger and always hiding something _almost_ well enough that Lance nearly forgot he was being manipulated. The vile grin that had reared its head quintents ago never showed up again, and Lance’s doubts of its validity began cropping up.

But no matter the civility, no matter the false kindness and gentleness, Lance had never heard anything resembling music in the silent quarters. Only the ringing in his ears from countless shots fired and the soft creaks of metal as the ship hovered and guards patrolled.

He waited patiently, silently. He had refused a single word to the Prince since he felt as if every sound out of his mouth could be used to betray his team. He may not have memorized coordinates, or know how to repair the castle’s systems as well as Hunk, Pidge, or Coran, but he didn’t know what kind of information could be useful. To him, the silent suffering of his own anxieties and concerns were far better a fate than the possibility of endangering his team.

With a click, and a swing, he was once more given reprieve from the silence and the dimness. Light flooded into his room, and the sight of his captor gave him such a feeling he hated himself. The silence remained, tinted only by Lotor’s soft humming.

The tune was slow and solemn, like it belonged in a movie scene with death. He listened carefully, unaware he had become enraptured by the melody as it gained tempo from within Lotor. The Prince dutifully brought out small bowls of food, as he had done at the same time each quintent for the first meal (as far as Lance could tell, anyway). It reminded him of the sea and the sun, warmth and familial love as it turned up, varying over deeper notes and happier composure.

Then it was gone, taking with it all comfort, warmth, and security Lance had allowed himself to feel. The sudden stop nearly made him break his silence; nearly had him telling his captor to continue. Anger boiled inside of him, for the Prince’s manipulation, for his own weakness, for the sheer inadequacy he had. Shiro had survived for a year. Yet here he was, about to ask his captor to continue singing for him after only a week.

“Are you upset?” The Prince asked, the false kindness as present as ever, with a knowing look to taunt the Blue Paladin. “I could continue if you wish, it’s an old Galran war song.” Something dark flashed behind his eyes, an emotion Lance could only associate with his malicious smile from quintents past. “A war song of _victory_.”

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Lance lashed out, quickly and precisely. He swung his hand into the stew bowl and flung it towards the Prince.  What normally would have been piping hot stew was lukewarm at best, though the minor fact didn’t register in Lance’s mind until long after the fight was over. The Prince was splattered with the food, distracted momentarily as Lance lunged over the table. Anger seethed from him as he landed on his target, toppling the two over and onto the ground. Another fact that remained unregistered in Lance’s mind was the lack of interference with the guards. Noticed after the fight, and too late to be of any use.

On the ground now, with adrenaline coursing through his veins, Lance swung a punch at the man he straddled. He didn’t notice the stinging pain of his knuckles on the metal floor, instead slinging the other fist towards where the Prince had moved to dodge the first.  Again the sting engulfed his fist, only to be dulled by the impact of his back on the ground. He didn’t know how the Prince had flipped him so quickly, or why he seemed so pleased with Lance’s reaction.

“Your team hasn’t made any attempts at a rescue. It’s been nearly ten quintents.” His voice dipped low, almost like a purr. Clawed hands held the Blue Paladin’s arms down, interlocked legs kept him from kicking. The position and tone sickened Lance. “I suppose you weren’t as useful to them as either of us expected.” He straightened up, and rose gracefully from the floor as if there hadn’t been a fight in the first place. “But no matter,” He added as an afterthought, his tone once again feigning civility and gentleness, “I will find use for you in the Empire. Vrepit Sa.”

Lance was left on the ground, feeling like a bruised plaything. He replayed the fight in his mind, over and over. When he was escorted to the healing pod he thought of the humming. As he was brought to the bath his mind wandered to the lukewarm stew. And as he sat alone in the silence and darkness of his quarters, he thought of the message Lotor was sending to him with the lack of guards or aide.

_He didn’t need guards. He could protect himself, especially from a weak human._

* * *

Keith wandered the castle aimlessly. He had tried to train, really tried. The mindless fighting always set him at ease when he was bothered, but focus was an unattainable concept for him. The gladiator bared reached level three before he started taking hits from it.

Based on the lighting in the ship, he knew he _should_ be sleeping right now. Unfortunately, that was also an unattainable concept for him at the moment. Dreams of regular life in the castle haunted him, making him wake up and think that everyone would be down at the table for breakfast.

He couldn’t decide if he was more comforted or worried that the rest of the team was faring just as badly as he. Allowing himself to be selfish in his grief, he settled on both. He could hear tinkering noises as he passed Hunk’s room. During the day he would bake and cook to keep everyone well fed and try to lift spirits, but everyone knew he spent the nights working on various tracking ideas until he passed out.

Coran was surely deep in the castle’s storage rooms. Keith had caught him crying once, and hadn’t been able to bring himself to look for the older Altean since. Shiro and Allura kept the team running, but just barely. It was probably the most stressful on them. They were the ones who had to keep up the facade of control and leadership.

But what tore Keith up the most was Pidge. She never left the common room, unless it was vital. Around this time of night, he would sneak in to cover her up. Falling asleep on the couch couldn’t be great for such a young girl, but Keith figured it had to better than his new habit of sleeping only two or three vargas a night.

He gently drew the blanket over her, and removed the laptop from her arms. She stirred, making him freeze for a tick. Then he turned to leave quickly. A shuffle of movement behind him made him stop again. Pidge yawned a little and uncovered herself. A moment later she called out in a soft voice, “Lance?” His heart shattered, and he didn’t know what to do. He turned to correct her, but the tick he managed to face her, she’d already buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He could feel tears wetting his shirt and he knew he had to speak.

He set a hand on her slowly and she looked up at him, “Pidge, I, I’m sorry.” He told her, his voice cracking. Her face contorted into anger and she screamed as she beat his chest with balled fists.

“ _How dare you_ .” She yelled, surely heard by the others at that point, “ _Take it off,”_ her voice became shriller as she sobbed, “How _dare_ you wear his jacket, take it off _right now_.”

Keith couldn’t stop the flow of tears. He never expected to cry over Lance. He never expected to hold Pidge while she wailed about a boy who had become her brother, taking hit after hit for wearing the only thing that made him feel close to the boy who he had taken for granted.

The remainder of the team rushed in at the sound of Pidge’s screams. Hunk and Shiro lowered their weapons at the sight, the entire situation dissolving into a mess of tears and regrets. Everyone had tried to hold in their anger and grief for the sake of the others, but the path to closure was a long and difficult path that must be started at some point.

* * *

The next morning, Allura was the first to wake. She ordered everyone to get up and refreshed. She wanted the whole team at breakfast, so they could begin to discuss moving forward.

“What do you mean, moving forward?” Hunk asked timidly. He knew the answer, but he was hoping for everything to still have been a terrible nightmare.

“We must begin to search for a new Blue Paladin.”


	3. Rising Status

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is put in the arena, how does he deal with being pitted against both his fellow prisoners, and mercenaries benefiting from the violence in the ring?   
> There's no Team Voltron in this chapter, but there will be a little bit in the next! Keep in mind, this is a very Lance-centric fic, so the Team's POV is secondary

The Prince wasted no time in arranging combat lessons for the Blue Paladin. The quintent following Lance’s attack was the first of many sessions in the practice arena for him. It began with light filtering into his dimly lit quarters, as any meal he’d had thus far had. The difference was found in the food on the table. Where there normally would be a small bowl of stew, Lotor had prepared several dishes, heavier and likely more filling. Lance’s curiosity brought the downfall of his lengthy silent treatment.

“What’s your game?” He asked, sitting down at the table without hesitation. He had learned early on that the food was good and filling. It was never in his best interest to hesitate to eat it. If he didn’t finish his bowl before Lotor, even as slowly as he ate his, the Prince would take the food and throw it out before he could finish. Lance assumed it was a tactic to make him more willing to sit and eat with him. He had to admit, it worked extremely well. 

The Galran man had yet to touch his food. A small pane of glass laid on the table, barely noticeable until it glowed softly. An incoming message, Lance could see, once Lotor picked it up. Lance didn’t want to ask again, nor did he like being ignored. Instead of reacting, he began eating his fill. He may not know what Lotor was planning, but he sure wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Especially not when it came to food. The Prince continued looking at the message, clearly in the Galran written language. Lance cleared his throat, hoping to gain his attention, and maybe an answer.

“Oh, yes,” Lotor responded, still not looking up from the glass. He held up his free hand in a relaxed fist, a gesture Lance did not recognize. Then, as quickly as the strange gesture was presented, he brought his hand back down to type a response on the glass screen. The glass dimmed when he finished, and Lotor laid it back down on the table. “Pardon my rudeness, I know communicators at the table is not proper behavior, but this was a bit important.”

Lance’s eyebrow shot up in suspicion, though the eerie similarity to the rule about phones in his own home did not go unnoticed, “ Finally get a message from my team?” he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful as he paused his eating. He was hoping his tone came off more smug than anything else, but he had a hunch his voice had betrayed him. 

“No, no,” Lotor replied. His glass pane lit up once again and he glanced over at it. A smile spread across his face, “I was actually setting up some of your lessons. You’ll be starting today.” Lance’s heart dropped, leaving an aching feeling in his chest. His expression must have changed noticeably, or perhaps the Prince just felt the need to elaborate, as he continued, “I can’t gain full support of teaching a former Paladin of Voltron about the empire, but I can set you on the right track to becoming an upstanding member of our society.”

The minor quip did not go unnoticed by the Blue Paladin, whose painful feeling in his chest was worsening. He clenched his fists on the table, food long forgotten, and spat, “I am not a  _ former _ Paladin of Voltron. My team will come for me and when they do, you’re going to regret ever having inherited this godforsaken empire.”

The Galran man waited a tick before shaking his head slightly and sighing at Lance. “This attitude is exactly the reason why garnering support for your assimilation into the empire is so difficult. Unfortunately for both of us, it means you need to gain the public’s support the hard way.” Although his words spoke of misfortune, Lance couldn’t shake the feeling that the Prince was rather enjoying the way things were turning out.

“What hard way?” He asked, apprehensive of the Prince. 

Lotor just smiled, as politely and welcomingly as he did on most days, “Through the arena, of course.”

* * *

The Blue Paladin prided himself on his marksmanship, his stealth, and even his stamina in battle. He did not, however, boast about his hand-to-hand combat skills. Well, maybe once, but Keith had certainly put him in his place after he had tried to brag to the Red Paladin that he could take him anytime, anywhere. 

Considering the circumstances he was currently in, he really shouldn’t have been reminiscing about times Keith kicked his ass. He thought a  _ half _ Galra was strong, but a full-blooded Galran soldier beating him bloody made his teammate seem like a teddy bear. 

The soldier paused a moment before landing one more solid punch to Lance’s mouth. The Paladin could feel his lip split. Despite the pain from stretching his mouth into a grin, he knew that the bloodied smile would infuriate the soldier even more. Maybe he’d get a few extra injuries, but it was worth it to him. 

The soldier’s face contorted into anger, like he had hoped, and  Lance found himself on his back, with a dull ache in his chest. He moved to get up to take some more, and pain blossomed like a thornbush throughout the area. Yelping, he fell back to the ground. The Galran soldier came to stand above him, speaking something in the common Galran tongue. Though Lance had begun to pick up on a few words here and there, his inability to breath deeply kept him from focusing on the words being spoken. The soldier’s expression darkened once more, he seemed to have wanted a response from Lance, who had not given one. He raised a foot quickly, with intent to stomp down on the injured boy, when a voice rang out.

The words were spoken quickly and in outrage. Lance could see Lotor storming up to the soldier he had been fighting, with more expression than he’d ever seen on the Prince. The soldier appeared to try to defend himself, again in the Galran tongue, but was halted by a sharp slap to the face. Lotor was furious, and dismissed the soldier. With bowed head, and a renewed sense of his place, the soldier placed his fist on his chest and replied, “Vrepit Sa,” before taking his leave.

It was getting harder for Lance to focus on what was happening, but he could clearly remember feeling himself being lifted up carefully before he blacked out.

* * *

He awoke to the sensation of falling, as the healing pod opened and he was released. Unlike his first experience with Galran healing pods, Lance was steadied by dulled claws upon his release. It took him a moment to realize that the claws belonged to yet another Galran soldier. Unexpressive, the alien held onto the Blue Paladin for a tick, just long enough to him to regain his footing. With the removal of his hand, the soldier turned and gestured for Lance to follow him. 

He wanted to fight or cause mayhem, but he had no idea where he was or what was going on. The healing chamber was different than the last, as well as the soldier escorting him. Had Lotor been switching out the soldiers this entire time to keep him unable to build any kind of sympathy, or personal connection? He had hoped to sway a guard somewhere along the line, but he never seemed to spend more than a varga or two with any given Galra, save for the Prince himself.

Lance’s legs followed the current soldier as his mind probed the possibilities of Lotor’s tactics. Thoughts drifted towards kinder tones when he thought of the Prince, the only constant he’s had for the past several quintents. His steps halted, and his chest seized.  _ No, no, no _ , his thoughts were racing, unable to properly convey his complete panic and self-loathing at the consideration of Lotor as anything but his enemy. He  _ knew _ what the purple bastard was doing to him. He  _ knew  _ the game he was playing, and he  _ hated _ how it was working. The only redemption he could salvage, as the soldier pulled on his upper arm to continue walking, was that he was conscious of Lotor’s motives and that knowledge could  _ hopefully _ help him combat the unhealthy fondness the Prince was trying to foster in Lance.

* * *

The air brushed by his face from an uncomfortably close miss by his new sparring partner. The Blue Paladin had been taken directly from healing to the same training room he had been beaten so badly in before. This time, however, the Galra fighting him seemed to be either pulling punches or not as skilled as the last. Whichever it was, Lance couldn’t help but feel thankful. At least with his current opponent, he could get a swing or two in, and even dodge a lot of those thrown at him. 

The alien fighting him feigned to the left, then swung for the right. The movement sent Lance straight into his fist as he tried to dodge the feign. It was then that he noticed the guard wasn’t a guard at all. Only ticks after the movement, the Galra made nearly the same movement, but reversed. He was able to anticipate the feign this time, by the way his opponent’s body moved. Lance realized that the entire time he had been fighting, the Galra hadn’t been pulling punches so much as teaching him close combat skills. 

He memorized each movement made by the Galran man. Some sequences were repeated immediately, others were repeated after one or two other sequences. He had been able to dodge so many attacks because of his opponent’s repetitiveness. Or rather, because of his teacher’s methods. 

After some time had passed, Lance’s instructor halted his attacks. He looked to the sideline and called out in the common Galran language. Though Lance was far from fluent, he was picking up a few ideas. He had no idea what the direct translation was, but the Galran had just called out for someone’s attention and told them to come over to where they were. A smaller, but just a strong-looking, soldier entered the fighting area from the stands. He was the shortest Galra Lance had seen since his arrival, and the dark purple, almost black, hair reminded him of Keith. Maybe he was just projecting.

“You fight Janol, skills I taught you,” the instructor commanded, with awkward phrasing that reminded Lance of the beginning days of his parents’ English learning. “Reward for no injuries.” He added, then took a step back to allow for the fight.

The Galra fighting him, Janol if he understood the instructor correctly, was much faster than the other two he had fought thus far. Lance’s mind  _ almost _ drifted to the similarities between Janol’s movements and Keith’s. Instead, he channeled his focus into the movements made by his opponent. Janol swiped at Lance’s left side, forcing him to dodge right and directly into the soldier’s incoming fist. 

The reflex that made his stomach lurch was an extremely unpleasant feeling, but he pushed through the dry heave and swept a leg under his opponent. The fall was so quick it nearly shocked Janol into a defeat. 

The Galra was able to recover more quickly than Lance, unfortunately, taking another swing at him. The Blue Paladin wheezed, wondering briefly if his ribs had been injured by the first hit, but managed to deflect the second hit with his arm. If he wasn’t almost positive Lotor would have him in a healing pod after training, Lance might have been concerned about the deflection leaving a bruise on his forearm. He jabbed towards the Galra’s torso, which was batted away painfully. Each threw a few punches, carefully watching and dodging, landing no more hits than their initial attacks. 

Lance was growing concerned. Galra were more solid than he realized. The team was lucky that they’d been fighting mostly drones and ships, instead of close combat. Though, and the realization twinged his chest, Shiro certainly knew of the difficulties of fighting so closely with Galra. The distraction made Lance’s defense slip enough for another blow, leaving him with a deafening crack in his jaw. Tears welled up, and the thought of making a move with his jaw made him sick to his stomach. The injured boy lashed out quickly, making several jabs in quick succession. Only about half of them landed properly on his opponent, but it was enough for the instructor to call out a halt command. 

The taller Galran man walked back to the fighting area and clipped out, “Injured?” Lance, unable to speak for fear of pain and further damage, nodded carefully. The instructor spoke quickly to Janol, commanding him to take something out, as far as Lance understood. The smaller soldier nodded and gestured for Lance to follow. Oh,  _ he _ was the something. He followed without further delay.

* * *

When Lance emerged from the healing pod once more he briefly wondered how many times he had been healed so far. Through various trainings over the course of his imprisonment, he had been healed each time he sustained injuries of any degree, which meant after every fight. He didn’t know the time increment that was comparable to an Earthen week, and really it didn’t matter considering that a quintent was a few vargas shorter than an Earthen day. Even if he did have an equivalent, it would be impossible to use in relation to anything Earthen. 

In his thoughts about Earthen time and Alien time, not even noticing that he had stopped associating Earthen time with the ‘standard,’ Lance failed to see who was waiting for him to come out of the healing pod.

Lotor cleared his throat to get the attention of the dazed human. It snapped Lance back to reality and forced his gaze to focus on the Galran Prince. Previously relaxed and in thought, the Blue Paladin now stood rigidly, his senses on high alert. He didn’t want to get caught off guard with this purple bastard around.

“Your healing session interrupted our meal time,” Lotor offered, as if to explain why he was here instead of a guard like times past. “Don’t make a habit of it, but just this once I’ll cook for us regardless.”

Lotor turned to leave, allowing his back vulnerable to Lance. Ideas of attacks rushed in his mind. He had been trained, by Lotor’s men no less, he could do it right now, attack while Lotor’s guard was down.

Instead, he followed silently. Still with mind buzzing, Lance remembered his first outlash, and how badly it had ended for him. Lotor didn’t need to have his guard up to defeat him, not when it came to hand-to-hand combat. Besides, if his team was going to come for him he needed to stay put. 

His stomach felt like ice water had flooded it.  _ When. When. When when when whenwhenwhenwhenwhen.  _ He repeated in his mind, relentlessly for several daboshes. For nearly the entire walk back to Lotor’s quarters, if anything was said to him he was lost in his chant of self-reassurance of  **_When_ ** _ his team comes for him _ . 

He didn’t remember sitting down, he didn’t remember eating his fill, though now that he thought about it he wasn’t hungry anymore. Lance looked up at Lotor, unaware of how he had appeared this whole time. The Prince looked so  _ fucking _ smug. An odd feeling settled over Lance. 

“Have you finally realized?” Lotor’s voice sounded like a purr, but felt like a grater against the Blue Paladin’s chest. “Your team isn’t coming for you. I know by the expression on your face exactly how you’re feeling.”

Lance shook his head. His eyes darted around the room and back to Lotor. “They will, I’m a Paladin of Voltron,”

“-Paladins are replaceable.”

“-a member of the team,”

“-Perhaps more a martyr now,”

“-and their  _ friend _ .”

Lotor’s grin didn’t subside, and he leaned forward. His voice was a hushed tone that nearly had Lance leaning in to better hear. 

“They  _ left _ you. They haven’t been sighted for several quintents, and the last sighting was  _ galaxies _ away from here.” Lance shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes, “They value you far less than I anticipated, and you mean a fraction of what I had hoped to their team. The only thing keeping you alive right now is your potential.” 

The tears threatened to fall, and Lance whispered out, “No,” his voice cracked slightly, “no they can’t, I can’t.” His breathing picked up in pace, not quite enough to hyperventilate but certainly noticeable. 

“They may have abandoned you,” Lotor continued, reaching a hand out to touch the vulnerable paladin, “but you’re not hopeless, I  _ want _ you as a part of my empire, I  _ want _ you here to further  _ our  _ empire.” His sickly sweet words were the ignition of a war inside of Lance. He wanted to be disgusted and angry, but only felt self-hatred bubbling up. He felt relieved at Lotor’s word and it made him want to destroy something, anything, even himself if it came to that. Anything but betray the trust of his team and the entire universe that depended on him, as a  _ Paladin of Voltron. _

He had to make a decision, right now. His face was still showing conflict and distress, but he had only ticks to make a plan.

Lance’s face slowly shifted from his near-breakdown, to an expression far calmer and resolved. He evened his breathing and blinked away the tears from his eyes. Once he was completely calm, he looked up at the Galran Prince.

“My team will come for me,” He answered, firmly and decisively. He couldn’t allow himself to consider any other alternative. Not right now.

Anger flashed on the Prince’s face, yet his expression settled into another emotion. Almost  _ impressed, _ he nodded. “It’s going to be a very enjoyable experience for me,” he replied. Lance bit back a snarky remark he wanted to make, but Lotor knew the question on the Paladin’s mind. He answered it happily, “Watching your spirit  _ break _ .”

* * *

Lance was suddenly finding himself in the arena. The  _ real _ arena, not some controlled area where Lotor was having him fight soldiers with restraint. It had been at least three quintents since his fallout with Lotor, if it could be called that. After each fight he was put in a healing pod, just like before, but his opponents no longer pulled any punches, or allowed him time to learn their patterns. Each gladiator he fought was another prisoner, another person trying to survive in this hellish empire.

_ Fuck _ , his mind raced, he couldn’t see where the other fighter had gone. She--no, they-- were some sort of rock alien. For being only one fighter, and a genderless one despite their feminine appearance, they sure knew how to move around quickly and silently. It was amazing considering their heavy, mineralized appearance, but not so amazing for his chance at winning.

He heard a crunch of a footstep and he spun around to face them, immediately regretting the action. 

A rocky fist flew towards his face and knocked him out cold.

* * *

Awaking yet again to a healing pod left Lance wondering how much of his sleep for the time he had been here had been through the pods alone. More importantly, he was sick and tired of pain. Since the quintent he arrived he had experienced more emotional, physical, and psychological pain than he had even as a Paladin. He was  _ done _ with that. 

Walking with a guard to his quarters for the night, he decided then and there that he wasn’t allowing himself in the pods again if he could help it. No more major injuries, no more letting the innocence of his opponents keep him from fighting. 

He sat down on his bed, he forced himself to keep to his new resolution. His opponents may be innocent people forced into the ring, but  _ so was he _ . 

* * *

It was a new quintent and a new round in the ring. For the previous three quintents, he was forced to fight all day because of his lack of wins. But Lance was determined to remain unscathed, at least for the three fight minimum. Three fights. If he could just win  _ three _ times, he would be done for the day. He took a deep breath and looked up at the large gate awaiting the start of the fight. They opened slowly, to allow in streams of light, and Lance ran out to face his first opponent.

The creature was a hexaped with four limbs on the ground and two acting as arms. It vaguely reminded Lance of a centaur, but neither half of it looked human  _ nor _ horse-like. In fact, the species wasn’t mammalian at all. His best guess was probably amphibian-like, judging by the sheen on their skin. He hadn’t encountered this species yet, and was apprehensive of the mucus on their skin, as well as any other bodily fluids he might come into contact with.  _ Especially _ if he was right about them being an amphibian-like species.

True to his worry about the bodily fluids, the light blue creature reared back and their color fluctuated slightly into a darker blue, before they swung their head forward and projected spit towards Lance. Jumping on instinct, he just barely managed to dodge the attack. As it sizzled on the ground, he thanked his lucky stars for it, too. A short concern of Lotor losing favor with him ran through his mind before he shoved the traitorous thoughts away. 

Weapon. He needed a weapon. He glanced around the ring to find the scraps they left lying around for the prisoners to fashion as weapons. There were plenty of sharp objects, like shards of metal and glass, possibly what was a sharpened ship bolt, but he wanted something blunt. Though the crowd  _ adored _ the death of one of the fighters, the match would end just as quickly with the incapacitation of one. He would know, after all of his losses he still had his life. Although, he supposed Lotor  _ did _ have a particular interest in him, so he might be the exception. 

As his eyes fell on a large wooden pole, he ignored the possibility that his  _ opponent _ might be able to win without killing him, but  _ he _ might not have that same luxury. The pole was pretty big, and jagged on one end, but rounded off on the other. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do for the attack he had in mind.

Without another tick wasted, he jumped out in front of the alien and started running. At first in a straight line, but quickly adjusting to a zigzag pattern as they started shooting smaller spitballs at him. The big one that they first spat did a lot of damage, but it took much longer to actually fire. These smaller ones were rapid-fire that were getting harder and harder to evade the closer he got to where the wooden pole was--directly behind the amphibian-like alien. 

Just as suddenly as their quick attacks had begun, they stopped. Lance slid under them, the alien scratching at him with their upper arms as he went. He didn’t allow the sting on his face stop him from darting up and to the wood piece once he was clear of his opponent’s underbelly. 

Lance snatched the makeshift club up and spun around to face the alien. The lack of attacks were for good reason. With timing like no other, and no way of his opponent knowing what he planned to do the next time they tried to send a major attack his way, Lance lunged towards the alien who had reared back once more for another large acidic spit ball.

He jammed the blunt end of the wooden pole into the alien’s throat just before they were about to spit at him. He could feel the gurgle of saliva and the pressure pushing against the only thing standing between him and whatever acid lay within this creature’s mouth. Their eyes fluttered shut and the pressure eased up, allowing Lance to remove the blockage.

With the other prisoner passed out but still breathing, Lance’s adrenaline was finally able to start winding down. A loud roar slowly became more noticeable to him, and he realized that the crowd was going  _ nuts _ for his victory. He looked at the weapon he had used to defend himself. The acid in his opponent’s saliva had already eaten it through to the point where it was no longer blunt, but ragged on both ends now. His face contorted into disgust as he threw it to the ground and walked to the exit, paying the cheering crowd no mind.

He waited for his next round in the same room as before. There were a few before him, a waiting period he had not experienced before, considering his need for a healing pod each time he fought. Now, with only a scratch on his face, he was able to watch the carnage of various fighters in the ring. Though he had his suspicions, the worst of them was confirmed as victor after victor chose to kill their opponent rather than incapacitate them. Lance kept careful track of who would kill him. 

By the time his second round came, he had come to the realization that not all fighters were here as prisoners. Some were being paid very handsomely for their entertainment for the empire. He watched the movements of various fighters and realized most of the killers were professionals. They were being hired specifically to quench the bloodthirsty crowd. 

And by  _ God _ if it wasn’t just his luck that he was now pitted against someone who had yet to be defeated in the ring. A mercenary no doubt, one that was twice his size and appeared to be a Galran half-breed. He almost looked Balmeran, and Lance swallowed the bile that rose up his throat. There wasn’t a possible scenario in his mind that lead to a good conclusion of how there was a half-Galran, half-Balmeran that was being hired in the empire. 

The halfling bared his teeth at Lance the moment he stepped into the arena. No time to think, he had to  _ move _ . They both managed to lunge at the same time. Lance barely made it away from the mercenary, who had smashed right into the wall Lance had been standing in front of. 

_ Fuck _ was that guy fast. Lance spent the first several daboshes of the fight just dodging attack after attack, trying to get a feel for his attack patterns. Ultimately, he was only  _ just _ able to keep from getting hit. And  _ boy _ did a hit from that halfling look like it would hurt. 

The Blue Paladin very nearly ate the floor, and possibly met his end, when he stepped on the wooden pole from his first fight. It had been left untouched, and the acid still looked fresh. Just barely able to keep his balance from the misstep, Lance kept running away and dodging his opponent’s attacks until he was able to circle around to the pole again.

_ One chance _ , he thought to himself,  _ if I fuck this up he’ll know exactly what I was trying to do _ . In one swift movement, Lance dodged the next swipe at his head by tucking and rolling towards the wooden weapon. He snatched it up on his way to a solid stance and waited a tick for the halfbreed to catch up to him. Not that it took that long.

Only a halftick later, the mercenary was on top of him, baring his chest wide open as he swung wide for an attack that surely would have been brutal on Lance’s much smaller frame. His attacking arm fell. His violent eyes softened and glanced down at his chest. Acid bore into his skin, the ragged edges tearing into flesh. Lance knew his own expression was one he would never want to see, he could feel his mouth contorted into an ugly snarl and his eyes full of battle-fueled hate. 

The half-Galran, half-Balmeran fell to the ground, motionless. 

And the crowd  _ roared _ for Lance.

* * *

He wasn’t required to complete another fight. He couldn’t bring himself to be happy or relieved about it, and his feelings were extremely conflicted over the death of the mercenary. If he hadn’t killed him, the halfbreed would have gone on to kill more prisoners for money and Galran fame. Perhaps it was justified, in the barest of sense. And  _ yet,  _ he still felt guilty as he remember how the mercenary’s expression softened. He remembered the moment the life left his eyes. Perhaps he was right in killing him, it was the only option for survival, but it didn’t take away his regret for not being able to find another way. 

Lotor cooked their stew meal like any other time, a comfortable habit that Lance resented had become a habit at all. He refuses to respond to any interaction initiated by Lotor. Not today, not when he’s still reeling from the first person he’s ever killed so close before. Soldiers fighting and shooting at a distance were different. And even then, he doesn’t actually know that he’s  _ killed _ any of them, considering most of them have been sentries and the team never stuck around the  _ actual _ soldiers long enough to check for a pulse.

His silence stays with him through the night, and through the next meal as well. Lotor doesn’t have him put in a pod for the scratch on his face, and he doesn’t push him to converse with him. Lance silently wondered if the Prince had seen the fight. Was this his way of being… sympathetic?

Still, he is taken to the ring again. It was just like before, the waiting, the door opening for streams of light to come in, the battle. He incapacitated fellow prisoners, he killed mercenaries. He prayed to God that he was able to tell the difference each time he decided which was which.  _ I’m ultimately saving lives _ , he assured himself when the sickening calmness overtook each mercenary he killed. 

By the time spectators realize who he was,  _ no, who he  _ **_is_ ** , the whispers of a Paladin of Voltron in the ring begin circulating. Like each time he won a fight, he paid no attention to the rumors circulating. It had been three quintents, and Lance had killed five mercenaries, by the time he finally spoke to Lotor again. Or rather, before he finally responded to Lotor.

“It seems you’ve made quite a stir in the arena,” the Prince began, a smile playing on his lips as he set the table for their evening meal. Lance glared up at him.

“Not by choice, mind you,” he spat back. Angry as he was, he still readily grabbed at the bowl and began pulling it towards himself to eat. Lotor placed a spoon on the edge of the bowl, halting its movement.

“Not yet,” he interrupted, “we have things to discuss before our meal.” Lance released the bowl and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. The Galran Prince took this as a sign to begin his speaking. “Your popularity in the arena is at an all time high. Although you’re not killing as much as the spectators  _ prefer _ , you’re still a crowd favorite as of right now. Do you know why that is?” Lance stared blankly at him, then glanced down at his food and back to the man. Lotor continued, ignoring Lance’s defiance, “Your sporadic killing and incapacitating pattern keeps them on their feet until you deal the winning blow, combined with the circulating rumors that you were once a Paladin of Voltron. They’re absolutely  _ loving _ you.”

Lance winced at the implication he was no longer a Paladin. He clenched his jaw, “And what of it? That doesn’t mean  _ anything _ to me!” he snapped, angry at his situation. Lotor smiled, something Lance absolutely hated to see. 

“It  _ means _ ,” the Prince continued, as if Lance had interrupted him, “that your  _ social standing _ is also rising.” His smile widened, “You’re much closer to being accepted in your new  _ home _ . In fact, with your new, undefeated status, you’ve risen far enough that you may begin classes next quintent.”

Lance felt his shoulders stiffen, “Classes for  _ what _ ?” He loosened his arms to allow himself to lean against the table. “And what about the arena? Am I supposed to be taking classes  _ and _ fighting all day? You do realize humans require recuperation, right?” He was concerned for his wellbeing, but couldn’t help but be a little excited at the thought of a possible break from the arena. 

Lotor took note of his eagerness. “A schedule will be made. A day for learning, a day for battling. We cannot just end your fights, as those are the only way you can garner more support in your current position. But soon, with these history, culture, and language classes, you’ll be able to take a more permanent position as my  _ companion _ .” Lotor’s explanation was thorough, but it still left Lance uneasy.

He nodded nonetheless, “And I start these classes in the morning? So no arena tomorrow?” Lotor gave a short nod. “What about healing pods, am I good to stay out of them now?”

The Prince hesitated. “I’m not…” he struggled for a tick for the word, “fond, of your skin being scarred.” A finger trailed where Lance had a newly formed scar to commemorate his first arena victory. It began about an inch above his left eyebrow and went just over the outside corner of his eye, and extended only half an inch under his eye. Lance allowed the touch, although he was uncomfortable with Lotor making physical contact anywhere resembling intimacy. “But, the healing pods are meant for major injuries, and you do have more of a presence with such a charming mark on your face.” He pursed his lips, then added, “Just keep any additional scarring away from your face. As my companion, I would prefer a certain amount of care put into your appearance.”

Lance laughed. A real, genuine laugh. “And Keith said that my skin routines would never do me any good.” Lotor’s eyes darkened a bit.

“Keith? Which Paladin is that?” Lance’s carefree expression retreated suddenly, he had entered a conversation that he had hoped would never come up. Lotor realized he wouldn’t respond, so he guessed. “Is it the Red one? The one you’re always shown interacting with in surveillance videos?” Lance remained loyally silent. But the Prince could  _ tell _ . 

The Blue Paladin averted his eyes.

“The Red Paladin  _ left you behind _ , just like the rest of them. Your only future is in becoming my companion. You will be a great asset to the Empire, Lance. Don’t dwell on past lovers, it’s unbecoming.”


	4. Language Barriers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance learns the language and gets to sit into a few political meetings. He also rocks the boat, making Lotor a bit spiteful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance's armor (I doubt my description does it justice) is based on the Lady Generals from the s3 preview!

The classes began immediately, just as Lotor had told Lance they would. He was woken abruptly and taken out for his morning meal, just like any other quinent, though his unusual grogginess gave him the distinct impression he had been woken up early. Being lethargic in the mornings was normal for him in the Castle, but each new quintent  _ here _ began with his alert awakening. In the back of his mind he  _ hoped _ he had been woken up early. Otherwise, his only conclusion was that he was becoming  _ comfortable _ in his current situation. 

After his morning meal, he was silently walked to his destination--a room similar to a study. There were dark gray bookshelves that lined the two walls adjacent to the entrance, and a glass screen that took up the entire wall opposite it. Considering that the room itself was only about twice the size of his small quarters, it wasn’t the biggest or most impressive room he’d seen on this ship. A small table with two chairs, much like the kind he ate his meals on with the Prince, had a few books and a Galran man sitting. 

Lance was sick of seeing Galran men. Mostly because of his captivity, but also a little due to his mind repeatedly thinking of the similarities between them and Keith. Did he really want to compare his teammate to these people?  _ No. _ Especially not  _ Keith _ . Yet, all he encountered were Galran men. Were the Galra a species that believed in a gender-divided society? 

The man at the table, a reptilian-subspecies by the look of his horns and rough skin, looked up at the arrival of Lance and the guard escorting him. He nodded, then greeted him, “Ah, good timing! Come sit with me so we might begin your lessons.” The fluency shocked the Blue Paladin, who had only heard complete, fluid sentences from Lotor since his arrival. 

Unable to quip back with anything, Lance simply took the seat and observed the books surrounding him. There were three books stacked up near his tutor, though they looked fairly different from any book he’d ever seen. The covers were a stiff material that looked like it might have been plastic, with three metallic attachments where the spine would have been. By the way the book in front of his teacher was positioned, Lance could tell that the metallic material was probably not metal, as it compressed and stretched to allow the books to open and close. The pages looked softer than paper, possibly a thin fabric of some type. It was a surreal view, similar to what he thought a futuristic library might look like. 

Taking his new pupil’s silence as a cue to begin, the Galran man closed his book and set it aside. He seemed to examine Lance for a tick before offering an explanation, of sorts, “Prince Lotor has requested that you be taught in the ways of the Empire. As you surely learned during your time as a Paladin of Voltron, the Galra have existed for far longer than most species, and we will continue to exist beyond many more. This means that our history and development is long and complex. It’s something you do not become an expert on in a quintent. Over a period of time, however, you will eventually be well-versed and of use to our Prince.”

Lance took a breath and tried processing what he had been told. Though he understood, on the conscious level, everything that was just told to him, all he subconsciously heard was that the Galran race was extremely arrogant.

“Why is Lotor still only a Prince, if Zarkon is dead?” Lance blurted out, one question among many that he had. Although, he supposed it was definitely one of the safest to ask.

The tutor smiled, “Good question. One that any member of the Empire should know. The Emperor must have an heir to be able to bear the name, ‘Emperor.’ As Prince Lotor has no heir, he must remain a Prince. This does not, however, devalue his position in any way. He is still unquestionably the ruler of the Empire.” He folded his hands in front of him and tilted his head slightly, “Any other questions?”

The Blue Paladin nodded, “How do language translators work?”

His tutor’s eyes gleamed with the anticipation of teaching such a curious student, “Most are programmed to be able to translate languages and dialects pre-uploaded into its system. I’m speaking in one of the earliest forms of the Galran language, considering the age of the translator you would have been fitted with at the Altean Castle. They will not, however, translate anything that is not programmed, nor will it translate once you learn the language. At least, Galran translators cease once you’ve become fluent in the language. It save data space and helps the wearer become independently fluent in the language.”

“So if I take my translator off, I might be able to still understand you?”

“It would depend on the model, the one you’re wearing may not even have that function. Where is your translator, anyway?”

Lance faltered, “Well, I,” a tick passed, “I don’t really know. I don’t remember being fitted with one, and I assumed that it was some kind of…” he hesitated again, slightly embarrassed, “I assumed it was some kind of Altean magic.” he admitted. 

The tutor nodded, “We’ll have you checked for one after our lessons have concluded. Perhaps the translation process happened through the Castle itself, and not through a singular piece of technology. Anything else you wanted to ask?”

“Will I be fitted with a Galran translator?”

“Not unless your current translator fails and it is required for communication.”

“Did Zarkon really rule for 10,000 years?”

“For 10,000 standard unit periods, yes. I assume these ‘years’ are the closest translation to that. For reference, a standard unit period, or a period, is equivalent to 440 quintents. There are 11 cycles in a period, each made up of 40 quintents. Some sections of the known universe break a cycle up further into four turns, where each turn has 10 quintents.”

Lance processed this for a tick, “How old is Lotor?”

The tutor clicked his tongue at his student, “I know you do not wish to show the Prince proper respect due to your current circumstances, but with your rising popularity, you cannot afford to disrespect the ruler of our Empire. As for your question, Prince Lotor has expressly forbade me from divulging information about him to you. Anything learned about the Prince must come from him.”

Lance groaned. Of  _ course _ the Prince wouldn’t want him learning about him from outside sources. “What will I be learning here, exactly?”

“To begin, you will be learning the language. The Prince needs a companion that is, at the very least, fluent in the common Galran language. If all goes well, perhaps you will move onto other languages.” The Galran man smiled, and Lance realized he had neglected to even ask his name. The tutor continued with his explanation, “You will also be learning important historical events and cultural norms from me, but you’ll have another tutor for dining etiquette, body language, and proper behavior in meetings.”

“What do I call you?” Lance asked, then backtracked when he heard the awkward phrasing, “I mean, what’s your name? You know who I am but I don’t know who you are.”

The tutor hesitated a tick before replying, “Please refer to me as Navil. My birth name is not one I prefer to be called by.” Lance nodded.

“Is there a reason why you don’t like your birth name, or is that too personal for me to ask?” He treaded as carefully as possible, not wanting to upset one of the few Galra he would have a chance to make an ally of.

Navil folded his hands in front of his chest and sighed, “I don’t know much of human culture or physiology, so I don’t know if you’ll really understand. I suppose I can try and explain, though. My parents gave me a female name, because I did not choose to present as a male until later in life.” He waved a hand dismissively, “Therefore, as a Galran man, I would prefer not to be called by a name that is predominately for Galran women.”

Lance was floored, of course he  _ knew _ about transgender people. He knew a few trans people personally, even. The thought of transgender aliens, however, had never really crossed his mind.  _ Man _ , he thought to himself,  _ Pidge is going to have a field day with this _ .

“Humans do that too, and some don’t even think of themselves as male or female. And some kind of,” he paused for a tick to find the right word, “switch between feeling like male and feeling like female.”

Navil’s previously tense expression eased a little, “It’s good to know of another species that has the same quirks as the Galra. I’ve encountered some species that have no genders, or only one. Occasionally there are even multiple genders, upwards of four or five.”

The Blue Paladin laughed, “Many human languages are extremely gendered, so that sounds like it would be really hard to navigate the right words to use when speaking to them.”

The two exchanged questions and answers for the next few vargas. Lance was far more at ease with Navil that Lotor, though he managed to keep his wits about him even when faced with a friendly Galra. The last thing he wanted to do was reveal any useful information about his team to  _ anyone _ on this damned ship. He would  _ never _ betray his team.

* * *

The questions continued on for so long that by the time they were done, Navil hadn’t actually been able to start teaching Lance anything, officially. Unofficially, he learned more than enough to get started. He followed another new guard to his next location. 

Lance groaned he moment he saw the door he and the guard were approaching. When Navil said that he would have a different person teaching him for practical knowledge, he expected a new Galran face. Yet here he was, back at Lotor’s door. 

His stomach growled, however, making him realize just how late it had gotten. He took his seat immediately, and waited for Lotor to serve the food for him like usual. 

Lotor’s behavior wasn’t the same as always, though, and it put Lance on edge. He wasn’t sure if he should ask. 

“Stand up.” Lotor ordered curtly. Confusion etched into the human boy’s face, but he did as he was told. “Good,” the Prince said, “First rule of dining etiquette, you do not sit before anyone who has a higher standing than you. For now, that means you will be the last to sit at any public meal. In the future, perhaps you will be the second to sit at our meals.”

Lance bit his tongue to keep from smarting off. Right now, Lotor gave the impression that he would  _ not _ tolerate any kind of deviance or rebellion. He waited patiently as Lotor set the table, served the food, and sat down. A tick passed, for good measure, then he took his seat. The Prince gave a small smile and nodded in approval. The Blue Paladin’s stomach rolled, a combination of hunger and nerves, but he refrained from eating for a dabosh or two longer.

Lotor finally began speaking somewhat normally. “When you are eating in a formal setting, your posture must be impeccable. Shoulders back, spine straight, nothing touching the table, save for your hands. In more casual settings, it’s fine for your arms to rest on the table, but I’m not teaching you how to eat casually. Lance,” Lotor had only said Lance’s name once that he could remember, and hearing it made him feel sick, “you will be a great asset to the Galran Empire. The greatest political mind in a dechapheeb, my right-hand man. Once you’re learned in everything you need to know, nothing can stop us.”

Lance’s fists clenched, and he noticed how rough and calloused his hands had gotten. He’d never worked, or fought, as hard as he had the past few turns. The arena forced him to fight for his life and, like he tried to convince himself, for the lives of other prisoners. The five lives he took could have prevented hundreds of other deaths in the arena. He hoped. He didn’t dignify Lotor’s spiel with a response. How could he? What could he say? He was utterly at the mercy of this Galran man, who had taken a liking to him for some sick reason unknown to him. He just had to hold out for one more turn. He repeated this in his mind to keep himself in check.

His team would be here in just another turn.

* * *

A turn came and left, the quintents blurring together in a flurry of arena fights, healing pods, and lessons with Navil and Lotor. In his first official lesson with Navil,  his teacher had switched to speaking entirely in the Common Galran language. He refused to speak in the one known by the Castle, and therefore Lance’s translator, even if it meant a varga of confusion. As much as Lance hated the bumbling around, being immersed in the language made him pick it up at remarkable speeds. Having gotten a vague feel for how it worked before helped, too.

His team still hadn’t come, and Lance was hating himself more and more for the doubts that began cropping up more frequently. His internal dialogue became a constant argument. How could he doubt his team like he was? They would never leave him, they’re his friends, they love him, and they need him to form Voltron. Why couldn’t he doubt them, though? It had been over a cycle. They hadn’t made any contact, or any attempts to rescue him in over a cycle. He was only human, doubts are normal, especially when left alone and helpless for so long.

His morning meal with Lotor was starting out normal, the stew was hot and filling, and Lance had begun to help out with the dishes once the meal was over. It was something he began to do the day after his lessons with Navil began. It made him feel less useless, and it also extended the time he was able to spend outside of his small quarters. Lotor appreciated the help, and gave praise to Lance more freely when he helped.

As he helped Lotor clean up and wash dishes, however, the back of his mind was whispering vile things.  _ Disgusting. Playing house with the Prince of the Galran Empire. _ He pushed the thoughts back. Busy work. That’s all this was. Busy work to keep his mind  _ off _ of being a prisoner, not to make him hate himself for being more compliant than usual.

After the cleanup was completed, Lance’s eyes darted around the room. The guard to escort him to Navil’s study was nowhere to be found. “ _ No classes this quintent? _ ” He asked, in the Galran tongue. Lotor glanced up at the Paladin.

“ _ No, your lessons are coming along perfectly. For most of this quintent you will be shadowing me as I go about my work. _ ” Lotor replied, his accent far smoother than Lance’s. Although he was relieved that there wouldn’t be vargas and vargas of readings and history lessons in the Common language, he got the impression that he’d still have to focus just as much to keep up with the conversations while with Lotor.

“ _ Will I be expected to do anything? _ ” Lance asked, taking a seat once more at the table until he knew what was going on.

Lotor thought for a tick, then gave a small grin, “ _ Mostly, just being there as yourself will suffice. As a former Paladin of Voltron, _ ” Lance winced, “ _ your very presence will make quite a stir. Your attire, however, _ ” the Prince gestured to the clothing Lance had been wearing since his arrival. It had been washed several times, usually when he was taken to be bathed, but it was still very similar to common prisoner garb. “ _ It will be changed. You will have more suited clothing brought momentarily. The guard should have returned by now, actually. _ ”

The Blue Paladin shifted uneasily, he wasn’t sure how he felt about new clothes, or the implications that came with them. He felt like he was about to be dressed up, like a toy doll. Only a dabosh or so later, just long enough for an uncomfortable silence to settle in, the door opened and a guard with cloth draped over his arms entered the room.

“ _ My Prince, _ ” the guard greeted, bringing his fist up into the Galran salute against his chest. “ _ Here is the clothing you requested. I apologize for being late. _ ” Lotor waved him off and ignored his apology. The guard handed over the clothing and saluted his Prince once more, saying “ _ Vrepit Sa _ ,” before taking his leave.

Lotor felt the fabric and hummed in appreciation, “ _ Yes, this will do nicely. _ ” He turned to where Lance was seated and handed the soft fabric over. “ _ Get changed quickly so we’re not withholding the meeting _ .” The boy picked up the clothes, a bit surprised at how soft they were, and stood up to go to his quarters. 

“ _ You really don’t like being late, huh? _ ” He joked, waiting a tick before closing his door to listen for a response. Lotor scoffed.

“ _ I’m the Prince of the Empire, I’m never late. _ ” Lance couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. What an attitude to have. He closed the door behind him, which gave him a comfortable, albeit false, sense of privacy while he changed.

It only took a few daboshes to change, though he was concerned about how well the outfit-uniform? Armor?- fit him. He rejoined Lotor and was about to voice those concerns when Lotor clapped his hands together and gestured towards Lance. “ _ A perfect fit. And very suiting, might I add _ .” 

The suit was dark purple, very similar in feel and weight to his flight suit. The only thick piece on it was his black chest plate, which bulked him out a bit and attached to small shoulder pads, also armor. The fabric parts were soft and silky, and seemed like they would tear at any amount of stress. It made Lance a bit uneasy to be walking around in something so light. At the very least, though, it was comfortable and breathable, despite being a full suit. 

Lance approached Lotor’s side and bowed his head slightly. It was a sign of respect that he had accidentally picked up while interacting with Navil and the various guards. “ _ Are you ready to go? _ ” He asked, once he was standing next to the Prince. The Galran man hummed. Without warning, he drew a blade that Lance hadn’t even known he was carrying, and slashed at Lance’s chest plate. Startled, Lance stepped back a bit, but otherwise didn’t react. He wanted to panic, but the moment Lotor’s arm had blurred from the swift movement, he was taken back to the time when he tried to attack him. Fighting back simply wasn’t an option at this time. 

After the initial shock, Lance was able to remain calm as Lotor slashed at him with the blade twice more, once on each of his arms. The impact stung, but he realized the Prince wasn’t attacking him, but demonstrating the strength of the uniform.

“ _ Incredible _ .” Lance commented, “ _ I never would have imagined that the fabric could withstand a knife. _ ” Lotor slid the knife back where he had been holding it, a small holster nearly indiscernible from his own armor, right in the crook of his lower back.

The Prince smiled and began walking, with Lance following closely behind, “ _ I’m impressed at your composure. You seemed to know what I was doing from the beginning. _ ” He praised. Was that a test? It seemed like it, and it also felt like he had passed.

He shrugged, “ _ It doesn’t matter if I knew or not, I know I can’t beat you in a fight _ .” Lance admitted freely. It wasn’t new information to Lotor, so he saw no need in trying to conceal it. Why bother pretending like he thought he could best him? His response pleased Lotor, who smiled without restraint. It was left unsaid that he thought he was getting to Lance.

* * *

The meetings were long and dull. Lance was able to understand everything said by the Galran commanders, but the diplomats from other planets and species were speaking in another language that Lance didn’t understand. He picked out at least two languages, but wasn’t sure if the third was an entirely new language or a dialect of the second. He supposed it didn’t really matter, as there was nothing he was able to retain from meetings he did not understand. 

In the last meeting, however, there were only Galran ranks present. They were discussing whether to continue diplomatic approaches with the planets they had convened with, or move onto invasions to force their submission. Lance hung onto every word, soaking up as much as he could possibly remember. 

Unfortunately, his rapt attention brought eyes to him. Generals and commanders began asking about the stranger sitting in. “ _ What species is that? _ ” “ _ Why has the Prince brought his pet? _ ” “ _ Why, that looks like the upcoming victor from the arena. _ ” “ _ Really? I heard rumors that he was a former Paladin of Voltron, are you sure this is the same man? _ ”

Lotor cleared his throat, bringing the attention once again to him. “ _ Should you have any questions about my companion, you will speak to me in private. Political meetings are not the place for such frivolity. _ ”  

A rather high-ranking Galran woman spoke up. “ _ My Prince, _ ” she began, her words were humble but her tone suggested that she was on a level playing field with Lotor, “ _ You must understand the concerns of your officers. It is unprecedented to bring an unqualified pet in on such sensitive discussions. _ ” There was a murmur of agreement among the officers and generals.

Lotor assessed the situation and relented, “ _ I suppose you’re correct. Lance. _ ” The Blue Paladin focused on the Prince and awaited instruction. His heart was racing. He wasn’t supposed to have to  _ do _ anything. Only stand there, stay out of trouble, and soak up all kinds of useful intel for his team. “ _ You’ve been paying close attention to all of our meetings today. Tell me, what is your opinion on the integration of those cultures into the Empire? _ ”

Lance felt his stomach drop and ice spread through his chest. Was this a panic attack? He had definitely been paying attention, but what if he said the wrong thing now? Would this really be his downfall? He could be banned from all future discussions if he were to say the wrong thing right now. Not to mention he had only been learning the language for a cycle. What if he said something entirely wrong?

He hesitated for a tick, “ _ Considering their interest to join the Empire, I would continue with diplomacy. An invasion would only foster resentment and rebellion. Though the Empire could handle such a resistance, it would ultimately waste resources and time. The bond will be forged faster and stronger through the diplomatic approach. _ ” He spoke slower than the rest of the Galra there, but with each word he put forth great effort to properly inflect to convey his message.

There was a silence in the room for several ticks. Then a few commanders turned to one another and muttered. The Galran woman who had spoken out in the first place laughed. 

“ _ I see I was wrong to question my Prince and his  _ **_companion_ ** _ , my apologies, Prince Lotor. _ ” She bowed slightly, although more deeply than most, as a sign of apology. 

Lance looked around the room. The others did not seem as apprehensive of him as before, but they still regarded him with curiosity. He felt like an animal on display.

* * *

Once all was said and done, Lotor and Lance returned to their quarters for their evening meal. Upon entering, the Prince looked to his companion for a reaction immediately. He was confused, the room had been changed.

Where there was once a bed and nightstand against the far wall, there were now two, one slightly smaller and on the other side of the nightstand. He turned to Lotor and opened his mouth to speak, pointing in the direction of the new furniture. The Prince halted him with a relaxed fist, a gesture Lance had come to learn was similar to holding up a finger to indicate that someone should wait. 

“ _ Considering your behavior and performance today at my side, I have decided you may now leave your quarters and join me out here, in my chambers. I had the bed moved out from there, and what used to be your quarters is now perfect for storage for any belongings you accumulate. _ ” Lotor explained, almost smug. 

Lance forced a smile. “ _ Thank you, it was really cramped in there. _ ” He directed his attention towards food, getting a start on the preparation. He didn’t want the Prince to think he was ungrateful, or being rebellious, but the tightness in his chest refused to ease. By  _ God _ did it hurt that Lotor thought the rest of the team wouldn’t come for him. Even worse, it hurt that  _ he _ was starting to believe it, too. 

Lotor hummed as he and Lance cooked, the same song he had so long ago when Lance first tried to attack him. Was Lotor trying to goad him into another encounter? Was this just another test? Suddenly on edge, the Blue Paladin found himself painfully aware of everything going on around him. 

_ Don’t rock the boat. Don’t fall into his ploy. Don’t do what he wants you to. Do what he wants you to. Do whatever it takes to keep getting information until the rest of the team come for you. They  _ **_will_ ** _ come for you. _ He repeated reassurances in his mind, slightly different and all centering around being rescued and having information for his team once they did.  _ They’ll be so happy that I’m safe, and even happier when they see how much useful information I was able to gather while in captivity _ .

In what felt like no time, Lance was already sitting and eating with Lotor. Everything that he was previously painfully aware of, was now dulled and blurred. He tried to force himself to focus. To listen to what Lotor was telling him.

“- _ and now that you’ve proven yourself to the high ranking officers, the arena should be a rare occurrence now. It will leave time for,  _ other  _ activities. _ ” Lance had missed the first part, but he felt he had heard enough. 

Playing dumb, he asked, “ _ What other activities? _ ” He continued eating, hoping that Lotor would catch his drift and not try to push anything. Considering he hadn’t pushed anything  _ yet _ , the Blue Paladin still had hope that he would lose interest.

A grin threatened to play onto the Prince’s face. “ _ Oh, Lance _ .” He replied, on the verge of a laugh, and a patronizing tone thick in his voice. Lance didn’t budge. The Prince had no way to  _ know _ that Lance really knew what he was talking about, but his earlier hopes of Lotor dropping it were out the window. “ _ I want you to truly be my  _ **_companion_ ** .”

Lance couldn’t stop the look of disgust that flashed on his face. He forced a neutral expression, but it was too late. Lotor had seen and he was  _ enraged. _

Up in an instant, Lotor’s hands gripped the edge of the table and the movement jolted the dishes. Lance set down his utensils and looked up at the Prince, trying as hard as he could to maintain a blank composure through Lotor’s anger. “ _ I’ve seen so much about you. You’re not picky about those you show interest in, yet you dare to be disgusted at the thought of being my companion? _ ”

Lance didn’t respond. Instead, he tried to gloss over the entire issue by cleaning up the table. He collected the dishes and walked over the the kitchen area to set them down. Lotor didn’t follow him, but the moment the bowls gave a soft ‘clink’ on the counter, he spoke again.

“ _ You certainly don’t seem to have a problem with Galran halfbreeds. That Red Paladin, Keith, was it? He’s not coming for you. _ ” Lance turned to face Lotor, teeth clenched and expression strained. Lotor was grinning a vile, toothy look like he had done once before. Lance hadn’t imagined it, and it was just as unsettling as the last time he’d seen it. Lotor knew he had stuck a nerve, so he pressed on, digging deeper, “ _ He never did reciprocate your feelings, did he? He didn’t even turn you down properly, or you wouldn’t still be thinking of what could be. Let me do it for you, he was never interested in you, and he never will be. _ ” Lance’s knuckles turned white and he could feel his fingernails digging into his palm.

Lotor took a step forward, making Lance intensely aware of the short distance between them and the slight height advantage the Prince had. “ _ But if it’s a Galran halfbreed you want, _ ” Lotor’s cynical voice took a slight dip and he slowed down his words, “ _ I will always be here to satisfy you. Let me care for you, let me show you how much importance you hold. _ ”

Disgust found its way back onto Lance’s face, this time he made not attempt to cover it up. “ _ Lance, _ ” Lotor’s voice was something between smug and seductive, as he took another step forward, leaving the Blue Paladin only arms-length away from him, with his back firmly against the counter. “ _ You’re so close to being part of my Empire. _ ” He reached a hand up to brush his cheek, “ _ To making it  _ our _ Empire. Just be mine _ .” 

Lotor’s fingers made contact with Lance’s cheek and fire ignited in his chest. Burning, hateful, painful rage. Lance kicked off the counter and lunged at Lotor, the space being bridged effortlessly due to their close proximity. He swung at the Galran man’s face, then tried to swipe at his legs. They tumbled to the ground, with Lance straddling Lotor, and he brought his hands up to the Prince’s throat. He could hear a scream. His, probably. He tried to squeeze as hard as he could, but it lasted for only a tick before he was violently thrown off. 

Though they had been on the floor a few feet from the counter, Lance felt his back hit the corner of it painfully when he was thrown. He struggled to stay up, propping himself up with his arms on the counter. Before he could recover, Lotor’s hand was wrapped around his neck. 

A trickle of blood ran down Lotor’s cheek, from a small cut. He tightened his grip and Lance gasped for breath. The pressure was unbearable and he felt his feet being lifted from the ground. He tried to kick at him, but Lotor slid his knee between Lance’s, pressing against the Blue Paladin’s body. Lance’s hands gripped Lotor’s arm and hand, trying to free himself. He was seeing spots. The edges of his vision were fading and he couldn’t force his limbs to fight back anymore. 

Just before he was about to pass out, Lotor threw him down to the ground. He forced a deep breath and his vision returned to normal, accompanied by a splitting headache. He coughed and wheezed, his limbs still weak and shaky. He heard Lotor radio for a guard, and he glanced up at him. A snarl on the Prince’s face made Lance grin. The pain right now was worth that face. 

“ _ See to it that my companion is properly groomed. _ ” he snapped.

* * *

Lance was locked into his former quarters. Only now, he had no bed, seeing as it was out in the main room. A small Galra entered and locked the door behind him. He seemed scared, not that Lance could blame him. He’d killed a total of nine mercenaries in the arena. Perhaps the Galra boy had seen him at his worst. 

The boy grabbed at Lance’s hand, and started filing away at fingernails. He yelped in surprised and pulled his hand back.

“ _ Give me a little warning, okay? _ ” He said, slowing giving his hand back to the Galran child. He looked a little confused, then began filing again.

“ _ I didn’t expect some pet from the edge of the galaxy to know the Common Language. No use in speaking to someone who doesn’t understand you _ .” He explained, though there wasn’t any hint of apology or remorse in his tone.

“ _ What is this for, anyway _ ?” Lance asked, even though the child didn’t seem to want to talk.

He sighed, then began filing the other hand’s nails. “ _ You haven’t been properly groomed. Apparently the last person tasked with this neglected to care for your claws. _ ” Lance nodded.

The Galran boy stopped speaking after that, and shot a dirty look any time Lance opened his mouth to speak. They sat in silence until his nails, among other care, was completed.

* * *

Lotor debated the use of healing agents. The scratch might leave a scar, though he wasn’t sure of how he felt about that. Finally he decided not to, as a reminder for his prisoner. He had to admit, the former Blue Paladin was far more resilient than he had anticipated. Even still, he was breaking.

A message brought his communicator to life. He grabbed the tablet and read it, a small smile forming on his lips. Oh  _ yes _ , this would play nicely into his plans.

* * *

Galran outposts were  _ pissed.  _ Voltron had been without their Blue Paladin for a cycle and a half, and yet here they were, freeing planets. One sector, 59-BD-2, even reported that the lions had formed Voltron itself and fought off multiple war ships. 

Then, after all the havoc wreaked on their outposts, the Prince himself had the audacity to be  _ happy  _ about it. They all kept their mouths shut about it, but everyone on the outskirts hoped that their new leader truly knew what he was doing. 

* * *

“ _ Oh Lance… _ ” Lotor called out, entering his room. He had cleaned up his cut and dealt with the matter regarding Team Voltron. Now all that was left to do was to deal with his companion.

Lance was still locked in his room. He had been groomed, bathed, and even given a haircut because of how long it had gotten. It did make him feel a bit better when he realized his last haircut was back on Earth. He wouldn’t have gone with an undercut like he’d been given, but he didn’t have much choice in the matter. Now, he was hearing Lotor call for him in a whimsical voice. The tone made dread swell up in his stomach. What could he have planned?

The door cracked open and Lotor, still with his scratch, smiled warmly for the Paladin. Lance carefully stepped forward into the better-lit room and regarded Lotor with apprehension. 

Lotor waved a hand dismissively, “ _ Don’t worry about the scratch, I’m not even that angry about it any more. _ ” He continued, “ _ It can’t be left unpunished, however, so you’ll be continuing in the arena until you become one of our aces. I know I told you it would be less frequent earlier, but your outburst has changed a few things. _ ” Lance stared, silent and expressionless. “ _ Your lessons will now be every quintent. As will your arena fights. You will fight in the arena until there is a death. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to leave for your lessons. _ ”

Lance’s expressionless facade broke and he snapped, “ _ You know I won’t kill another prisoner. _ ” His face rested into resentment.

“ _ Oh, I know. That shouldn’t be a problem, though, seeing as you’ll be fighting only the hired gladiators from now on. _ ” Lance wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or worried. He would be fighting only the killers, those of whom he would eventually be able to forgive himself for killing, but at the trade off of every single fight being one that risked his life, rather than a few easy ones here and there. “ _ And you’ve lost healing pods. You will only be allowed in one if there is a broken bone or life-threatening injury. _ ”

Lance’s hand gingerly touched his throat. A bruise had started to form, and his voicebox was already becoming strained, despite only speaking a little. Lotor watched the movement and smiled smugly. 

“ _ Once I’m sure you’ve learned your place, you’ll be more of a companion again, and less of a prisoner. I know you’re a smart man, Lance. Make sure you’re fighting for the winning side in this war. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron will be in the next chapter quite a bit!!!


	5. Form Voltron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance's only hope has been utterly destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm about 2.5 hours late for Lance's birthday (in my time zone) but I got this chapter done before I went to bed, and that's what really matters here.  
> Happy Birthday Lance! (And also I'm SO sorry my son)
> 
> Not gonna lie I cried a little writing this

Lance fell to the ground with a harsh thud. He snapped his gaze back up to his attacker, a  _ monster _ of a creature. He recognized it immediately from his lessons with Navil, but knowing that the Ganvir came from a genderless society on a planet riddled with caves didn’t exactly help him in a fight. A large, rough hand came from above, forcing him to tuck and roll to the side.

This was bad, he had been in this fight for nearly ten daboshes and still couldn’t find a good place to land a hit on this thing. Not to mention, they were incredibly fast for their size. A little bigger than the Yupper he encountered when trying to rescue Slav, the Ganvir was at least twice as fast. His eyes darted around the arena. _Something,_ he thought to himself, _there’s gotta be_ ** _something_** _I can use_. 

He lunged to the left, narrowly avoiding another powerful swipe. A glare of light blinded him for a tick, giving his opponent the chance to land another hit. A cough racked his body as he scrambled to his feet. A quick pick-up was vital, or the Ganvir would beat him into the ground. It wasn’t pleasant, he’d already seen three prisoners reduced to bloody corpses from the creature he was up against. Wiping his mouth, without even registering the red on the back of his hand, he scanned the arena for whatever had blinded him.

_ A glass shard. _ He looked to the Ganvir, only a few feet away and already charging, and back to the glass. He waited until his opponent was closer, just a little bit closer, then ran directly towards them and slid. He vaguely recognized the dull roar of the crowd in the back of his mind as he kicked himself off of the ground and sprinted towards the glass. It was about five or six inches long and the perfect width for his hand.

_ C’mon, c’mon _ , he grabbed it off of the ground and whirled around to see where the other fighter was. They were still a bit dazed from running into the arena wall, rather than Lance. He only had a few ticks to find something else, another weapon. He searched, his eyes raking over the ground as quickly as he could.  _ Too heavy, too light, blunt, fuc-- _

He felt a hand gripping his leg only ticks too late. The sensation of flying so unnaturally made him feel bad for ragging on Hunk’s motion-sickness, but only momentarily. He had to focus on keeping his grip on the glass shard. He only had one plan, and by the lack of weapons on the floor, only one means of attack. The flight was short-lived, with one of the stone pillars stopping his momentum with a terrible smack. He supposed the aching pain in his back was preferable to crushed ribs. He could feel the glass shard bearing into his hand, but the cuts only confirmed that it was still there. 

The Ganvir charged towards him once more. The Blue Paladin braced himself, waiting for the right moment. Just as the other fighter was about to smash him into the stone pillar, Lance used the glass shard to blind them for a tick. They skidded into the pillar, trying to shield their light-sensitive eyes. Lance found his opportunity. He jumped up and used the creature’s arm as a stepping stone. His free hand gripped the Ganvir’s decorative collar and used the hold to swing himself up on their back.

With a guttural shout, one he barely recognized as himself, Lance further used his momentum to drive the shard as deeply into the dazed Ganvir’s eye. The creature roared in agony, wrenching to the side and throwing Lance off of their back. The Blue Paladin was on his feet in an instant, breathing labored and unsteady. He ran to his opponent’s new blind spot and leapt towards them. With one more shove of the glass, using the palm of his hand, Lance was able to drive the glass all the way into the Ganvir’s eye socket.

He was batted to the ground for the last time, but the final blow was dealt. Lance felt terrible as he watched the Ganvir slowly die. The shard was deep enough to be fatal, but far too shallow to give a merciful death. It was nearly two whole daboshes that Lance stood, watching the poor creature claw at their own head and slowly lose consciousness, and life.

When the fighter, who had been previously loved by the crowd for their gruesome kills, finally slumped onto the ground, there was a tick of silence. The spectators were in a state of disbelief. Then, as quickly as they had silenced themselves, they erupted in screams and cheers for Lance. 

For the first time since his arrival, Lance acknowledged them. Disgusted with their bloodthirstiness, he turned his gaze up to the crowd. He looked all around at them, there were Galran men, women, and children. Halfbreeds and full-blooded alike. Even other species from various Galran alliances.  _ Vile _ . The crowd once again calmed down, curious to what their rising gladiator would do. 

He spat out the blood that had pooled in his mouth from his injuries. “ _ Disgusting _ .” He snarled, looking directly at the crowd. Several looked stunned that such an obscure species knew the Common Galran language, and a few shifted uneasily. He walked towards the exit, shoulders back and head held high, and didn’t even try and stop the smug pleasure rising up as the crowd exploded into cheers for the  _ Blue _ fighter. 

* * *

Allura approached the Blue lion carefully. It was still a varga before their next mission, but she had get ready this early, or she wouldn’t be able to join at all. The lion was deactivated, with her eyes darkened and shields up. Blue did this each time she was returned to her hangar. Allura  _ knew _ that the lion was waiting for her new paladin, the  _ real _ new paladin.

But she also knew that even this strained, miniscule bond between the two of them gave them a far better chance at success than fighting with only four paladins. 

A varga later, the rest of the team filed in, only daboshes after Allura finally coaxed the Blue lion to put down her shield. Playful chatter was a thing of the past. She wished she knew if it was because they had experienced a death of a teammate, or if it was because that teammate was Lance. Were they traumatized from being reminded so harshly that they were in a war, or had Lance really brought so much life to the team?

* * *

Navil smiled at his pupil, “ _ Excellent, _ ” his praise wasn’t easy to gain, but Lance had managed to properly explain the complete conflict between the Empire and the Balmerans of the 5th quadrant, which was one of the more complicated bits of history.

“ _ Which is why there are so many Balmeran-Galran hybrids, right? _ ” Lance asked, to clarify. Navil nodded. It did give him a little bit of comfort to know that the mercenary he had encountered so long ago wasn’t the result of the atrocity he had thought. Still, for the Balmerans from that quadrant to be forced to integrate into the Galran lower-classes when their host Balmera died from over-mining… Lance preferred not to think too much on it. The point that mattered, in this instance to him, was that the vast majority of Balmerans were given the freedoms of all low-class Galrans, including the right to free unions--er, marriages.

Navil snapped his book shut, startling Lance a bit, but not enough to cause an external reaction, “ _ You’ve learned all of the important parts of Galran history. You should be proud. _ ” Lance felt his chest warm a bit. Hopefully there would be plenty of useful information he could pass along. At the very least, being able to understand the Common Language and knowing about their major alliances would be more than the Princess and Coran already have at their disposal. He ignored the nagging question about how long he’d been here. He couldn’t remember how long it had been. 

“ _ And what will I be learning next, Navil? _ ” he asked. Lance had grown extremely comfortable with Navil. Initially, the tutor had driven him hard with content-dense language. He didn’t realize it at first, but it forced him to pick up on the language faster. He supposed it also helped that he was bilingual to begin with. 

The Galran man shrugged, “ _ At this point, you’ll be meeting with me daily to just increase your general knowledge of common practices and customs in the Galran culture. You know the history, now you need to learn the culture. I’m very proud of how far you’ve come. _ ” He gave a small, half-laugh, almost in disbelief, “ _ From one of the biggest enemies of the Empire, to well on your way to becoming one of the highest ranking within it. The Prince will be extremely pleased with your progress. Perhaps even enough to pull you from the arena for good? _ ” Navil seemed hopeful, and unaware of how his words of Lance’s integration into the Empire cut him. 

He fiddled idly with the bandage wrapped around his hand. Lotor had kept to his word when he said Lance wouldn’t be in the healing pods any more. His bruise from that quintent had long since faded, but some nights he would wake up to the feeling of being choked. A glance around the room would always show Lotor sleeping soundly in the bed next to him, and two guards posted right on either side of the door. His thoughts drifted too far, but came back just in time.

“ _ Perhaps. I hope my days in the arena are coming to an end. It certainly is exhausting _ .” he replied, still not looking up at the other man. He didn’t want his eyes to betray him. They may not be showing the stress he was feeling, but he couldn’t risk it. They were starting to think he wasn’t a problem, that he had given up. He had to keep this in his favor.

* * *

“Hunk! Back into formation,  _ now _ !” Allura shouted, through the communicators. Hunk’s lion had drifted out of place and was coming too near to the Green lion. He grumbled a bit in response. “Is there a  _ problem _ ?” She asked.

There was an annoyed sigh, “Listen,  _ Princess _ ,” he started, with an edge in his voice that made Pidge wince from behind her dash, “I thought the  _ Black _ Paladin was the leader of Voltron. How about leaving the  _ leading _ to the  _ leader _ .” His voice wasn’t warm or friendly, or anything that any of them had come to associate Hunk’s voice with. 

“ _ Hunk _ .” Shiro snapped, a bit more harshly than he had intended, “The Princess has been with these Lions for far longer than any of us, we need to trust her judgement on them.” The Black Paladin was trying his hardest to mediate between them, but it was just a mess every time they went on a mission. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice, “I forgot she had more of a connection with the lions than us. Easy to do that when she has to convince the Blue lion for an  _ hour _ before it opens up to her.” He gripped his controls tighter, “I’m  _ really _ feeling the connections here, Shiro.” Allura was hurt by his words, but couldn’t find any defense. He was right, her connection to the Blue lion wasn’t enough for her to truly pilot it. She wasn’t its paladin, nor was she even a reliable replacement for them. It simply took too long for her to get the Blue lion to allow her inside of it to be useful. She was much better at operating the Castle’s systems and defenses.

“We can’t fight like this. We have to help each other.” Keith commented, failing at his attempt to stay out of it and let the whole thing blow over. “We have to, the people-- The  _ Universe _ needs Voltron. We have to stick together for them.” Hunk glanced down at his hands. His knuckles had gone pale from gripping the controls too hard. He relaxed his grip a little and allowed the blood to return. He took a deep breath.

“Okay. I’m sorr-”

“I’m sorry, but how is it helping that you’re still  _ wearing Lance’s jacket _ .” Pidge interrupted, more than pissed. She hadn’t said anything since the night they all cried, but it made her angry. Shiro had allowed it to happen, because he said it was how Keith was coping. 

“Pidge that has-” Shiro began, but was cut off by Keith’s rising temper.

“What do you  _ want  _ me to do with it, Pidge? Just throw it away? Leave it in the room we haven’t touched since he died?” He snapped back, his face flushed. He knew it was a stupid sentiment to hold onto the jacket of a dead man. He knew it was hypocritical of him to act like he had lost a partner when he never gave any indication of reciprocating Lance’s feelings. But he  _ did _ have feelings for Lance, and they didn’t just go away when he died.

“I  _ want _ you to stop throwing it in my face every time you walk into a room that Lance is dead!” She screamed, pulling the controls back and halting her lion in its place. The Yellow lion nearly collided from following too closely. “I  _ want  _ you to stop acting like Lance’s death only hurt you! I  _ want _ Lance to come back!” Her voice cracked, and a sob racked her body, “I just, I just want to know how to get over this, without forgetting all about him.” 

The rest of the team was silent. Their arguing and anger dissolved in a moment, and the quiet became more uncomfortable as Pidge continued crying. Finally, after what felt like an eternity for the stunned Paladins, Allura broke the silence.

“Let’s return to the Castle for a bit, until we decide what to do for the next mission.” She suggested. Today’s flight seemed to have been a mistake, it only caused more discord among them. 

* * *

Lance helped Lotor set the table for their evening meal. He even managed to keep from flinching away when the Prince brushed a hand over top of his own. If the smile playing on Lotor’s face was any indication, it had definitely not been an accident, but Lance let it go. He didn’t really have any other option. The meal was the same as always. The stew was hot and the Prince took his seat first, a custom Lance quickly became adjusted to. After a tick, he joined him in the seat across the table.

“ _ I hear from Navil that your studies have reached the end of the basics _ .” The Prince filled the silence with small talk. Lance wasn’t sure when they had begun slipping into more comfortable habits, but as long as he kept his guard up he didn’t see any harm in Lotor being comfortable around him.

“ _ Yes, he said we would be able to start learning more about cultural norms and customs in our next few lessons. Of course, I’m sure he still wants to continue packing the lessons with language practice _ .” Lance replied. He began eating his food, carefully keeping his posture and mannerisms appropriate for their meal. 

Lotor smiled, making Lance realize Navil was definitely right about him being pleased with the progress. “ _ Excellent. Tell me, do all humans learn languages as quickly as yourself? _ ” He asked. Lance gave a small laugh as a response.

“ _ Not exactly _ ,” he elaborated, “ _ usually the second language a human tries to learn, the one after their native language, is the hardest. It’s easier to learn more after you’ve learned a second. I had an advantage because I speak two human languages. _ ” Lotor nodded along with Lance’s explanation. He seemed genuinely interested. It was a trait that Lance had come to love and resent. He loved that someone paid such close attention to what he said, but resented that it was forced, considering Lotor constructed his entire schedule so that he was the only one who could give Lance that feeling.

“ _ You simply must speak to me in your languages _ ,” Lotor drawled out, a tone that heavily suggested he was flirting. Lance ignored the tone and complied.

“This meal is very delicious. G _ racias por la comida, mi príncipe, _ ” He said, watching Lotor’s expression very carefully. He wasn’t sure if the Prince would be able to understand what he was saying, so he had to play it safe.

A light laugh escaped the Prince, “ _ What a charming sound, that second one. Do tell, what were you saying? I understood the first just fine, but I would like to know what that second one is called. _ ” Lance was a bit relieved that Lotor didn’t understand Spanish, for reasons he couldn’t quite explain. Probably because it was closer to home, making Lotor farther from being able to hurt his family.

With a smile stemming from that relief, Lance translated, “ _ It’s called  _ Spanish _. I said, ‘Thank you for the meal, My Prince.’ _ ” A genuine smile appeared on the Galran’s face, one to match Lance’s. His choice in the phrase seemed to have been a good one. 

“ _ Beautiful. _ ” He commented, “ _ Now let’s get star- _ ” The Prince was cut off by an annoyingly loud and repetitive alarm coming from the communicator across the room. Although it was on the night stand near the beds, Lance could see the messages pouring in from his seat. Lotor exhaled forcefully, trying to keep from losing his temper. “ _ It seems something important has come up. Would you please start cleaning up while I tend to this? _ ”

“ _ Of course _ ,” Lance replied, although he really wanted to see what was going on. His heart jumped in his chest. This was it. His team was coming for him. Lotor was getting messages from them, or word of their attack to come and rescue Lance. He knew they wouldn’t abandon him.

* * *

The Castle alarm screeched, waking all of the Paladins from their much-needed sleep. Even Pidge, who rarely slept these days, was awakened by its noise. She groaned from the aching in her body. She hadn’t slept that hard in months, sleep deprivation would really knock a girl out.

“Paladins, to your Lions!” Princess Allura called out, “Quickly, there is a distress signal from a nearby outpost. It might lead to useful information!” The others stumbled to their consciousness and armored themselves as swiftly as possible. 

Keith clutched Lance’s jacket for a moment before tightening his grip and finally releasing it to fall onto his bed. He was dressed in record time, along with his teammates.

“Where is the signal coming from?” Shiro asked, leading the other three into the hangar entrance. Allura regarded their arrival with a nod, purposely putting her back to the Blue lion, whose shield remained activated. 

“A nearby prison outpost. They seem to be holding some high-profile rebels there, and we might be able to get leads to Lotor’s new chain of command, or Pidge’s family.” She tried to remain optimistic, but the sudden signal made her unable to take the time to convince the Blue lion to put the shield down. She would have to send the other four out and join them once she was able. Hopefully the Blue lion would be considerate of the circumstances. 

The Paladins didn’t bring up her inability to pilot with them, thankfully, and started discussing plans for the infiltration. They agreed that nobody goes anywhere alone. Not again. 

* * *

Lance had tidied the dining and kitchen area of his and Lotor’s chambers. The absence of the Prince, although he was only feet away in reality, left the Blue Paladin feeling a bit lonely. He realized he had never actually cleaned, or cooked, or done  _ anything _ in the room, really, without Lotor by his side. 

He hummed quietly to break the silence. A quick glance toward the Prince showed that he was still completely engrossed in whatever news had been delivered. Lance decided to pull out a few unread books from his old quarters, now nothing more than a storage closet, and get some leisure reading in.

* * *

Keith and Shiro split from Hunk and Pidge to flank the prison outpost. Their stealth plan was immediately rendered useless the moment all four lions tried to fly in. Pidge had to keep her snide comments to herself, hard as it might be, because she had  _ told _ the Princess that the Green lion was the only one with adequate cloaking technology.

The fire was coming in heavy, but nobody had been so much as grazed yet. The sheer amount of fighter ships was more than they had bargained for, and they could easily be forced to retreat. They had been able to take out a few of the fighters, but it was clear that the Galra weren’t aiming to hurt the lions. Coran studied their moments from the Castle, extremely perplexed.

Inside the hangar bay, Allura pleaded with the Blue lion once more. Her Paladins were fighting without the ability to form Voltron, despite being vastly outnumbered by the enemy. Finally, the Blue lion relented and put down its shield. 

The moment Allura joined the fight, the Galra switched tactics. They began swooping and firing as quickly as possible, hitting the team hard with each wave. 

“Why are they suddenly aiming to kill?!” Keith shouted through the communications, dodging to the side to avoid being hit again. More shots came through, forcing him to dodge farther and farther from where he had been at Shiro’s side. Sick of it, he flew the Red lion to the far left, away from all the others and towards a small sect of fighters. 

He had barely been gone from the Black lion’s side for a minute before Allura called over the communicators, “Keith, come back to the team  _ now _ .”

Shiro nodded in agreement, verbalizing what he knew Allura had come to, “We need to form Voltron to get to that prison.”

* * *

Lotor finally completed whatever work he was doing, though Lance pretended to still be enraptured by his readings. It was interesting, yes, but the jump in mood he felt when the Prince’s attention was turned back to him made him feel ashamed of himself.

“ _ Lance, we are needed in the control room. _ ” The Prince explained, not hesitating for a tick to include his companion in the matter at hand. Lance placed his book down at once, not even bothering to bookmark his place. He nodded and followed along.

“ _ What’s going on? _ ” He asked, keeping his emotions as level as possible. His team had come, and Lotor was trying to test if Lance was on his side. If he could just bide his time a little longer and play like he was with Lotor, his team could come and get him and he could have the element of surprise. 

Lotor sighed as the door opened and closed behind him. Their trip to the control room wasn’t very long, but the halls always seemed to make the trips last. “ _ There’s a problem regarding one of our prison outposts and Voltron. They’re attacking it and causing quite the trouble _ .” His nonchalant use of Voltron made Lance’s heart jump. They really  _ had _ come for him. 

With hope swelled in his heart, Lance entered the control room after the Prince. A screen was brought up by one of the nearby soldiers, a Galran woman he had never seen before, like all of the other Galran soldiers he had encountered thus far. 

On the screen, Lance watched as his four teammates maneuvered around countless drone ships. He recognized the models from his classes with Navil. He silently cheered for each one taken out, although he knew now that their fighting method was extremely poor for those types of ships. 

Then, before his excitement for his team could even wear off, Lance suddenly felt like he was floating. Everything he watched happened at once, though it felt like time itself had slowed down.

The Blue lion appeared on the screen, flying into battle late from the Castle. Lance heard Lotor’s muffled voice, although he knew it wasn’t because of the way the Prince was speaking. He felt his senses dull and he watched helplessly as the lions flew and fought together. Coordinates appeared on the screen, most likely what Lotor had ordered to be done. The Blue Paladin--No, the _ former _ Blue Paladin--made note of the numbers. He didn’t know the exact location, but he knew it wasn’t even in the same quadrant as the ship he was currently on. 

Then, they formed Voltron. Lotor cursed loudly in the ancient Galran language, something that made the guards present flinch from. “How could they form Voltron again so quickly?” He snarled in a low tone. He was speaking to himself, mostly, yet Lance also knew the ancient Galran language. 

Voltron, in all of its glory, was able to take out all of the drone ships and split into the lions again to storm the prison. The video feed cut out.

Lance’s heart felt like it had stopped beating daboshes ago. He was swimming, in something way over his head, and now, pitifully drowning. He glanced to Lotor, who was still speaking to officers in an attempt to do damage control. He had no rescue. He had no hope. He was stuck here.

~

Allura was  _ pissed _ . With everyone safe and back into the Castle, she finally had an opportunity to reprimand the behavior on the mission. “ _ Keith _ . Why would you ever think it’s okay to leave Shiro? You were paired up with him. You should never have gone off by yourself to fight. We do  _ not _ split up.” She scolded, her voice rising in pitch and volume more angrier she became.

Keith threw his arms up, “What should I have done?” he asked rhetorically, adjusting his hood and crossing his arms, “In case you didn’t notice I was  _ taking heavy fire _ .” 

“I don’t  _ care _ !” Her tone had gone so high it was practically shrill.

“What the  _ fuck _ is your problem? I had to get some distance so I could help the  _ team _ . Isn’t that what matters, a good battle tactic to actually fucking  _ beat _ these guys?” He snapped back, defensively.

“ _ No _ !” She shouted back at him, “What  _ matters _ is my team. What  _ matters  _ are my Paladins. I will  _ not _ lose another Paladin!”

Silence swept the room. One mention of Lance was all it took for all of their mourning to return. The Princess blinked away tears, and Keith sighed. He knew he scared her when he strayed from the others without saying anything. He came up to her and opened his arms for a hug. It was uncharacteristic, but exactly what the young woman needed. 

In only a few moments, the team had dissolved into a pile of hugs and comforting. They had even come to the point in their grieving where talking about Lance didn’t automatically pin them against one another.

They told their favorite stories about their lost Paladin for the rest of the night. One by one they fell asleep in the safety of their teammates, until only Keith was left awake. 

“Lance,” he whispered, for fear of disturbing the others. His hands clutched the cuffs of Lance’s jacket and he pulled the hood over his hair. His  _ mullet _ , like Lance called it. “I miss you.”

* * *

Lotor took only ticks to wrap up his orders. Before Lance even knew what was happening he was swept along in the Prince’s wake, back to their quarters. He was in a daze, unable to fully process what he saw. Unable to accept it as reality. He felt the Galran man push him down slightly, so that he was sitting on his bed.

Lance blinked a few times and took in his surroundings. He looked to Lotor, who was carefully keeping a straight face and waiting on his reaction. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, blocked by a lump in his throat he didn’t realize had formed. He swallowed, and tried again. “ _ How _ ,” he hesitated a tick, “ _ how long have I been here? _ ” he asked, looking up to Lotor.

It took every ounce of self restraint for Lotor to remain sympathetic towards Lance. “ _ It’s been here for nearly four cycles. _ ” He replied, watching the human’s response.

A tick passed, then two. Lance dropped his head, a silent sob racking his shoulders. He inhaled sharply and brought his hands to his face, as violent cries escaped him. Only ugly, ragged breaths were reprieve between sobs for a long time. Lance didn’t know how long had passed, and Lotor didn’t care. 

The Prince gingerly leaned forward, extending his arms out towards the other man. To his slight surprise, Lance dove into the hug, touch deprived and lonely. He nearly jumped back from the instant movement, but found that he also rather enjoyed the contact. Lance continued to cry into Lotor’s chest as the Prince slowly played with his hair.

* * *

“ _ Lotor? _ ” Lance asked, finally drying his tears, but not daring to move from his place leaned against the other. “ _ They never were coming for me, were they? _ ” 

Lance felt his chest rise and fall with a sigh, “ _ I’m sorry, Lance. _ ” He said softly, “ _ We never received any message from your team, nor have they ever made any indication they were looking for you _ .” 

The former Blue Paladin’s breath hitched, like a sob ready to come out, but his body could no longer cry. “ _ No, _ ” He said, after a few ticks. _ “They’re not my team _ .” His heart grew heavier with each word he spoke, but it was nothing compared to the pain he had experienced only vargas earlier.

“ _ They left me for dead, and so, they’re dead to me _ .” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys can follow my tumblr (lightpinkthecolorofmyaura) to ask questions or even suggest story ideas! It's my writing blog!  
> Next chapter will probably be on the short side, and back to just Lance! (You'll see Team Voltron again before it's done, though, don't worry!)


	6. Companion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance succumbs to what he thinks is his best shot at making it out alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor season 3 spoilers: The lady generals are in here, although there are no plot points spoiled, and there probably never will be, as I doubt I will put any of s3's content in here. (Well maybe I will but let's see how these 10 chapters go first)

Lotor held Lance for a time much longer than either expected. He stroked the former Paladin’s hair and whispered sweet assurances to the grieving human. Lance’s chest was still aching, but his eyes had dried up more than a varga ago. He felt like he had run out of tears to cry, like he had managed to sob away himself.

He felt utterly empty. He didn’t know what he was going to do now. All he knew for _sure_ was that staying in Lotor’s favor was more important than ever. If he was ever going to escape, _especially_ without help, he needed to be as trusted as possible.

The Prince hummed softly, his chest vibrating under Lance’s head with a calming effect. His hum lasted for several daboshes, until he finished what seemed to have been a lullaby. In a gentle whisper, he began telling sweet temptations, “ _Lance, you’re worth far more than Voltron thinks. You’re indispensable, irreplaceable, and invaluable. I want nothing more than to have you by my side as we lead the Empire._ ” His tone changed slightly, becoming a bit more somber, “ _I will admit, that I only wanted you as a prize when my soldiers first captured you. I was as blind as your former teammates. Unlike them, however, I’ve come to see how truly talented you are. I want to see you_ ** _flourish_** _here._ ”

Lance’s chest jerked with a dry sob. His hand came up to cling to Lotor’s shirt. He was hanging onto every word. To turn his back on his team was unimaginable, but he knew they had already done the same to him. Maybe one day their paths would cross again, and they would need his help with something. He knew he would comply without hesitation, but the thought of them _needing_ him was enough.

Lotor’s voice continued to occupy the small space between them, spreading out like poisonous vines. “ _You’ve built yourself up a reputation in the Empire through the arena and diplomatic meetings. The people will come to love you as I do. I will care for you just as I have, with you as my equal._ ” Lance took in the words and looked up towards the Prince.

“ _As your equal?_ ” He asked, confused. “ _You want me to be a companion, like a partner?_ ”

The Galran man nodded once, “ _I thought my previous advances had been quite clear, Lance. I want you to be mine. I can take care of you, I can support you as you become part of our Empire. I want to be yours, just as I want you to be mine. This is what it means to be a companion._ ” He explained softly. His hands remained on Lance’s body. One was still stroking his hair, while the other held him stable as Lance lay on his chest.

Lance began pulling away from the embrace, much to the Prince’s internal displeasure. “ _I gathered that it was sexual, but I didn’t realize it was more serious._ ” He admitted. He turned down his eyes and pushed away any thoughts that might try and break his newfound resolve.

Lotor was unaware of the words flying around in Lance’s mind, though he could tell that the human man was considering things very seriously.

“ _I want to, also._ ” He finally said, a few ticks later. The Prince’s eyebrows came together in confusion. “ _I want to become your companion_.” He clarified, before Lotor could even ask for it.

“ _You do know what that means, right Lance?_ ” He asked. The man in question nodded, then Lotor asked another question, “ _You know exactly what this entails, yes?_ ” Lance shrugged half-heartedly.

“ _I know how it works with two human males. I’m not as sure about aliens. Until I found the Blue Lion I didn’t even_ ** _know_** _there were aliens._ ” He replied. Lotor smiled, slightly amused. Before he could say anything, Lance added, “ _But I’d really like for you to show me_.”

* * *

Lotor slept peacefully that night. He’d even ordered the guards to wait outside of their chambers once Lance had offered himself up to him. He was a healthy and sexual young man who had just been told by the object of his affections that he wanted to have sex with him. Lotor thought that his new companion deserved his undivided attention, and perhaps there was a bit of selfishness in not wanting any of his guards to see the two of them being intimate.

The night came and went and Lance didn’t slept at all through its entirety. He remained in Lotor’s bed, laying next to his captor and Prince in silent observation.

What the _fuck_ was he thinking, going and fucking the leader of the Galran Empire? _My team is going to hate me for this_. The thought made his chest go tight, and he grabbed fistfuls of the sheets as he tried to compose himself. _No,_ he corrected himself internally, _they would just hate me even more_.

He felt vile, worthless, and violated. Self-hatred blossomed within him more ferociously than he had ever felt before. He could have just kept his mouth shut and tried to keep Lotor’s favor without ever becoming his companion. He didn’t _have_ to sleep with him, yet he did. In the back of his mind he knew that, despite how guilty and disgusting he felt, being intimate with Lotor would be his best chance of getting out. And _yet,_ the feelings remained.

When the Prince awoke, Lance had finally managed to fall asleep, only a few vargas before the beginning of the new quintent. He smiled softly at the man in his bed and began humming. Had Lance been awake for it, he would have recognized the tune.

* * *

Their morning meal was far more comfortable than Lance had expected for it to be. The Prince cooked the morning stew with him, teaching him the different techniques that his mother and father had taught him. His touches were more familiar, lingering for longer and often times without need. Lance found himself leaning back into the Prince’s chest as they worked on the counter.

He was tired, lonely, and defeated. He felt he deserved some comfort, even if it came from the very source of his suffering. They ate their meal in an easy silence, filled sparingly with the noise of their dishes, and, once the Prince finished his meal, soft humming.

Lance took the last few bites of his food shortly after, not missing the small kindness Lotor had paid in allowing him to finish. The former Paladin smiled at the tune and began humming with him. Who _cared_ if it was his victory song. Who _cared_ that the Prince thought he had won. Music was better than silence.

“ _I’m afraid I cannot bring you out of the arena yet, Lance_.” Lotor explained as they began cleaning their dishes. “ _However, I will begin negotiations with the officers. Your decision to become mine will have significant sway._ ” He smiled at the memory of last night.

Lance smiled too, though it looked far more natural than it truly was. “ _Perhaps, I can help with that_.” He suggested. Lotor, rather than interrupt Lance’s flow, motioned for him to continue silently. “ _Being a great gladiator is a great way to show strength and the Galran fighting spirit. So, maybe I should fight for the entire quintent, or fight stronger opponents._ ” He offered, looking at the other man and carefully monitoring his reaction.

Lotor’s face dropped, into an expression Lance almost didn’t recognize on his face--concern. “ _I’m not sure how I feel about you fighting continuously. Or the gladiators._ ” He shook his head, “ _No, it is far too dangerous._ ” Lance’s heart drummed in his chest. A combination of happiness that Lotor was concerned for him and anxiety of not being able to prove himself.

“ _Lotor_.” Lance argued, his voice nearly cracking from his emotions already bubbling to the surface. “ _The people I thought were my team left me behind. They left me and I had nothing, for several cycles. Now all I have is_ ** _you_** _and I want to fight for my right to stay beside you. Let me fight for you. Let me fight for_ ** _us_** _._ ” He urged, playing on any and every heartstring he could possibly find within the Galran Prince.

Lotor’s expression was still strife with concern, but a small laugh left him looking slightly impressed. “ _I will inform the officers of your challenge._ ”

Lance grinned, and pulled the Prince into a hug. Although he was shocked by the sudden embrace, Lotor returned the gesture after a tick or two. Lance rested his chin on Lotor’s shoulder, although the height difference made him have to get on his toes slightly, and whispered, “ _Thank you, my Prince_.”

The Galran appeared flustered but pulled away and replied, “ _I’m off to the meeting room to discuss your proposal. Do not fight anyone in the arena until this has been approved as an appropriate way to prove your loyalty._ ”

Lance nodded quickly, watching as Lotor made his way out of the room. Once the door had closed behind the Prince he walked over to his bed and sat down. It was made nicely, unslept in since the night before last.

His rational thoughts of survival and waves of negative emotions remained at war with one another in his mind. No matter how much he thought it through, no matter how many times he rationalized his actions, his mind and heart kept returning to Voltron. How he had betrayed his team. How he had betrayed Keith. How he had betrayed _himself._

_Betrayal._ He loathed the word. His fingers ran through his hair and he wondered what he should do. Sleeping wasn’t very well an option. Even if he did manage to succumb to it, he didn’t want to subject himself to whatever was waiting for him in his nightmares.

The thought of nightmares made his heart drum in fear. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He began to steel himself for the future. Shoving away his thoughts of insecurity, his feelings of self-disgust, and his regret and heartache, he locked away his heart and threw away the key. He was a _prisoner_. He was alone, and was going to do _whatever_ it took it get out. It didn’t matter to him how long it would take. Turns, Cycles, even Periods to come. He knew he’d have to keep his new facade up for Lotor, but that didn’t matter either. He could handle fighting, he could handle diplomats, and he could handle sex.

_It’s only temporary_. He assured himself. _Team Voltron isn’t coming for me, but I can get out of this on my own. I just need time._

With his resolve and a heavy heart, now locked tightly up and out of harm’s reach, he decided what to do while he waited for Lotor’s return. He walked to the door and knocked twice. A guard opened it cautiously and waited for Lance’s request.

“ _I wish to study with Navil._ ” He said, standing firmly in place. The Galran soldier nodded and lead him to his tutor’s study.

* * *

Navil was surprised to see his pupil so early. “ _Haven’t you fought yet?_ ” He asked, curious. Lance shook his head.

“ _No, my Prince is meeting with his officers currently to discuss a way for me to prove my loyalty to the Empire. I would like to take my place at his side._ ” Navil looked excited for Lance.

_“Well then!_ ” The Galran man cried, “ _How are you proposing to demonstrate this?_ ”

Lance smiled weakly, “ _By fighting in the arena until I’ve proven that I will do anything for my Empire._ ” His smile faltered, “ _In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure how to properly demonstrate it. I just want to be apart of something. My-my team left me._ ” His teacher nodded, having already known this. “ _I was trying to hold out for a rescue, but I’ve realized it was never coming. I realize now that this Empire is my new home, and that Prince Lotor is my greatest, and only, ally._ ”

Navil’s lips spread into a small smile. Lance pretended not to notice, but he _knew_ that smile. He had said something that he was supposed to, and Navil was sure to report this to Lotor.

He widened his smile as if nothing had happened and replied, “ _I’m sure the Prince will arrange a way for you to demonstrate it. Your loyalty will easily be proved, I’m sure. Let’s begin this quintent’s lesson until you are summoned._ ” Lance nodded. He watched as Navil pulled out a communicator and tapped away at it. He sent a message before grabbing a book they hadn’t used before. “ _I’m going to speak to you in a language._ ” Navil began, jumping right into the work, “ _I want you to tell me if you understand it or not._ ”

Lance was a bit confused but listened carefully as his teacher spoke. He felt as if the language was extremely familiar, but was unable to place or understand it. He sighed, “ _I feel as though I’ve heard it before, but I don’t understand it._ ” He replied.

Navil typed away on his communicator once more. Lance suddenly got the distinct impression that his teacher was conducting a check-up on him. Perhaps to monitor his progress? But of _what_? His thought was answered nearly immediately.

“ _It appears that whatever was translating for you has worked its way out of your system. Our druids thought that perhaps it was the quintessence of the Altean Castle itself that was translating for you. Now we’re nearly certain of this fact. As for the language,”_ Navil hesitated, finally looking up from his communicator and meeting Lance’s eyes, _“It was Altean._ ”

* * *

Lance was summoned to the arena a few vargas after he went to Navil’s study. He never did find out who his tutor had been sending messages to, but true to his new outlook, he decided it didn’t matter.

There were several people in the room before the arena. Prince Lotor situated himself at the front of the room, with some space to the right of him and a tall Galran woman he recognized to his left. There were also three other women, all appearing to be at least part Galran, though the woman to his left looked more Galran than the rest. The women, despite all looking very different, were uniformed. The others in the room, three Galran men, and pure blooded by the look of it, wore the garb of high ranking officials. It stuck Lance as odd that the officials were placed as far from Lotor as possible, but he didn’t say anything.

Lotor gestured to his right, where Lance quickly took his place. He turned to face the others, not worrying about his inability to see the Prince’s expression. He felt far more comfortable around him than he thought he should, but the Prince seemed to have the same level of comfort, so he decided it was fine for now.

The tall Galran woman spoke first. She was mostly purple, with large cat-like ears, similar to most mammalian subspecies of Galra. “ _The Prince has come to the decision to allow the former Blue Paladin into the Empire._ ” She said, bluntly. Although her tone was much less eloquent than before, Lance recognized her voice right away. The armor and unruly fur had thrown him off at first, but there was no doubt about it: This was the woman who questioned his presence at Lotor’s side in the diplomatic meetings.

One of the well-dressed Galrans spoke up in response, “ _My Prince, we are still unsure of how the decision to bring your_ ** _pet_** _into the Empire will benefit any alliances._ ” He argued. Lance considered taking note of the man, but considering how little Lotor seemed to care for him, it didn’t appear to be of any worth.

The smallest Galran woman responded immediately, almost defensively, “ _Do not question your Prince_.” She snapped. Her hair was pinned back tightly, leaving only bangs down. It was a darker purple than her skin, and she looked more human-like than any Galran he had seen before, aside from Lotor, but didn’t appear to have any Altean traits.

Lotor remained silent, allowing his generals to speak for him. The hooded one, who had a strange looking cat-like creature on her shoulder, also remained silent. It unnerved Lance how she had no eyes, but he averted his own to avoid staring.

Finally, the fourth and last Galran woman spoke to the officers. “ _If you don’t see how good this could be for the Empire, you must be blind!”_ She let out a small squeak and turned to the hooded woman, “ _No offense Narti!_ ” Her attention went back to the Galran officers, “ _With this move, the Empire will have gained a former Paladin of Voltron as its ally. What will the planets of the universe think of Voltron if one of its own Paladins decided to join the other side?_ ” She explained. The men turned to one another and whispered quietly.

Lance looked to the fourth woman in awe. She was brightly colored, with a striped appendage forming from the back of her head like a long ponytail, and a voice and demeanor to match. Seemingly bubbly to a fault, she was also possibly the calmest of the bunch. Or rather, the most level-headed. He still hadn’t seen enough about the hooded one, Narti, to really count her in his assessment, though.

The officers faced Lotor once more and nodded, one speaking for the group, “ _As the Prince of the Galran Empire, and considering the high chance of this working out for the good of the Empire, we will not fight you on this._ ” Lance turned his head to Lotor, who had a sly smile spreading on his face.

“ _Good_.” The Prince replied, speaking for the first time, _“Now leave so my companion may begin the trial_.” The officers scuttled out quickly, as Lotor’s tone left no room for arguing.

The moment they were gone, the colorful one giggled, “ _The big one looked like he was going to piss himself_.” She commented. Had there been one much bigger than the others? Lance wasn’t sure.

Lotor sighed, “ _Now Ezor, don’t make fun of them. They are important to keep happy, for the unity of the Empire. After all, they are all well-respected and long-standing officers of various quadrants._ ” He scolded. She huffed, but didn’t argue. The Prince seemed extremely comfortable around these women, like they had all known each other for many periods.

“ _Prince Lotor_ ,” The smallest one began, her tone remaining formal, “ _are you sure this is the kind of man you want for a companion?_ ” She asked, accusation slipping into her tone and her eyes roaming Lance, unimpressed.

“ _Be kind to my companion, Acxa._ ” Lotor warned, “ _He is who I want, and you have no authority to question that, no matter how concerned you are about my well-being._ ” He turned to Lance. “ _I should explain the trial now. There has been a bit of a change._ ”

The former Blue Paladin stopped observing the four generals and gave the Prince his undivided attention. “ _Yes, my Prince?_ ” He responded.

Lotor smiled, “ _Originally I was planning on having you defeat a set number of opponents in the arena. However, Haggar has created a gladiator specifically for Voltron. You are to defeat it, and relay its weaknesses to Zethrid. She is one of my generals, the one specializing in battle. This will prove your loyalty, as well as your usefulness. At least in the eyes of the masses._ ”

Lance nodded, “ _Of course, my Prince_.” He put his fist to his chest in imitation of the Galran soldiers. Lotor laughed lightly, grabbing Lance’s fist and bringing it down.

Before he could ask why, Lotor brought his hands to Lance’s face and drew it closer to his own. His breathing stopped for a moment, as he thought the Prince was going to kiss him, right in front of his generals. Their foreheads met and Lotor closed his eyes, rubbing his thumbs gently on Lance’s cheeks. He didn’t know whether to reciprocate the touch or not, so his hands stayed at his side until Lotor let go of his face and took a step back. The touch reminded him of something some Earthen Island cultures did, though he wasn’t sure if it was exactly the same or not. Hunk would probably know, but he wouldn’t get the chance to ask him.

Lotor seemed content, and explained, “ _You are not my soldier, who needs to salute me. You are my companion, and this is how companions say goodbye._ ”

Lance brought a small smile to his face, despite some internal uncomfort with the intimacy that seemed to be associated with the act. He turned to the arena door and began opening it. Then, in a split-tick decision, he halted his movement and dashed back to Lotor.

He heard the generals draw their weapons, but he brought his hands to the Prince’s face regardless and tugged his forehead to meet his own. “ _Watch me._ ” He said, “ _Watch me fight for us._ ”

Lotor looked a little dazed, and very happy with his companion, when Lance let go and bolted out the door and into the arena, but he maintained his composure enough to turn to his generals and verbally reprimand them for drawing weapons at his companion.

* * *

The arena was as huge as ever, but it felt much larger to Lance in that moment. Perhaps it was because he had a renewed sense of his significance in the universe, and it made him feel small. A speaker came over the intercom system, something he didn’t even realize the arena had, and began introducing the fight.

“ _This fight is one for the ages!_ ” They began, exaggerated like with any major event Lance had seen on Earth, “ _The witch Haggar has created a new gladiator, just for this quintent’s arena battle, and our fighter is none other than, the_ ** _Former Blue Paladin of Voltron_** _!_ ” Lance froze, but kept his expression neutral. Did he want them to know that he used to be a Paladin? The crowd was a mix of cheering and booing. Half were clearly excited about the returning victor, regardless of the fact that he used to be a Paladin. Others were outraged that a Paladin dare try to fight in their arena, and wanted him dead for it.

Lance ignored the noise of the crowd, regardless of their opinion of him. He had one goal, and one goal alone: Survival.

The other door to the arena slowly opened and a grotesque gladiator emerged from the shadows. It was disfigured and unnaturally swollen in odd, asymmetrical places. Like it had been injected with chemicals and quintessence to make it stronger. It held a massive axe that glowed with electricity. The mere sight of the creature was enough to make Lance worry for the outcome of the fight.

_No._ He snapped at himself for his reaction, _It doesn’t matter, I’m getting out of this goddamned place alive._ He side-stepped to get a good look at the creature, looking around the arena periodically for weapons but returning his eyes quickly. He knew what he had to do to make a good impression, but it made his stomach flip.

The crowd loves a good massacre. He had to kill the creature, though he didn’t feel guilty about coming to that conclusion immediately. It looked in pain, and like it was suffering just from existing. More than killing, though, he had to do it in a way to gain the crowd’s approval. He knew that mean blood and cruelty. If he was able, he knew he would kill it as quickly as possible, but if not… _It doesn’t matter. I’m getting out alive, no matter what_.

The creature made the first move, rushing at Lance with its axe reared. It was slow, due to its massive size, but damned heavy judging by how Lance could feel the ground shaking with every stomp of its feet. He dodged all of its movements, two axe swings and an attempted stomp, extremely easily, but he knew that one blow could mean death.

He examined his opponent as he circled it, looking for weak spots. It was nearly thrice his height and width, making it extremely bulky and slow. There were large, boil-like lumps on its back and shoulders, along with scars littering its dark orange skin. Its eyes had lids that blinked vertically, much like the inner lids of some reptiles, but the eyes were a solid yellow. Perhaps the original creature that the gladiator had been fashioned out of originated from a desert planet.

Suddenly, Lance thought of a plan of attack. If it did originate from a desert planet, the lumps likely contained water. Though, at its altered state, there was no telling what would be in them _now_. But it was a starting point.

He ran the perimeter of the arena, expertly avoiding the creature’s slow attacks, to find a blade of some sorts. A small one, about the length of his hand, was wedged into a piece of wood on the ground. He saw his opponent rearing up for another attack, so he waited until it got closer and sprinted towards the dagger the moment the gladiator could no longer stop its attack.

He stepped on the wood and tried to pull the dagger free, only to be met with more resistance than expected. Lance wiggled it as best he could and yanked again, feeling the rumble of the gladiator approaching. The blade remained. He wrenched the at it again, feeling it come free at the exact moment he felt the impact of his opponent’s heavy hand.

Lance knew he should feel lucky it wasn’t its axe, something that would have killed him instantly, but the crushing pain he felt upon impact with the arena wall prevented him from seeing the downside of instantaneous death. The blade was in his hands now, though, and he had a fighting chance. His opponent gripped its axe tightly with both hands and swung from overhead to hit Lance while he was down. Unable to tell where the gladiator would hit, he scrambled to his feet and ran forward to avoid the axehead, falling to his knees and sliding the rest of the way when it got closer to the ground.

Time seemed to slow down in those few ticks, and he felt as the bottom tip of the axe grazed from the top of his shoulder down to the middle of his back. Once again he knew he should be thankful for his life, his legs, his general ability to still move, but the agonizing pain blinded him from it.

He jumped up and forced himself through the pain, taking his dagger and slicing as many lumps on the creature as he could. He avoided the bright and shiny substance that flowed from them, even more so when a dark red began mixing in with the yellow. _Quintessence and blood._

He was unable to move his right arm, the one with the injured shoulder and back, without an extreme amount of pain. Regardless of this pain, he climbed the swinging monster to reach more lumps. It seemed to slow down and grow weaker as he opened up the deposits of quintessence.

It roared in pain as Lance split open the largest deposit, right on its shoulder blade. Still holding tightly, despite his opponent’s efforts to throw him off, Lance remained on its shoulder and decided enough was enough.

He drove the dagger into the base of its neck and twisted. The creature’s swinging slowed to a stop, its arms dropping to its side and its entire figure falling down slowly.

As gracefully as he could, Lance jumped from the creature’s body as it fell, and he looked around at the shocked crowd. Even his fans were silent.

He yelled out in confidence, “ _I am no longer a Paladin of Voltron. I fight for my Prince, and my Prince alone!_ ” He swallowed, allowing himself a tick’s hesitation before adding, “ _Vrepit Sa_.”

The crowd erupted in cheers, which quickly organized into a chant prompted by his former status as a Paladin. “ ** _Blue Betrayer! Blue Betrayer!_** ” They cried for him. Silently he accepted it. He felt that the name was more accurate than anyone in the crowd would ever know.

As he exited, he couldn’t help but notice the sour taste the Galran salute had left in his mouth. He had been hearing it since his first exposure to the Galra, and yet, knowing the meaning of “Vrepit Sa” only seemed to make it harder for him to say.

“ _For the Empire_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, and in case anyone didn't catch it, Lotor and Lance's relationship is not a healthy one, and I'm trying very hard to depict it as such, while still maintaining a good flow for the story. As always, you can check out my tumblr to ask questions or suggest story ideas (lightpinkthecolorofmyaura)


	7. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Voltron team realize what has happened

The bitter taste that was left in Lance’s mouth when he first spoke the phrase “ _ Vrepit Sa _ ” no longer lingered. It had become an acquired taste for him, like so many other words he spoke lately. It had been nearly a turn since his debut as the  _ Blue Betrayer  _ in the Empire’s arena, and he would be lying if he told someone that he didn’t feel the smallest bit of sick satisfaction with his quintently fights. Each quintent he spent with Lotor and Navil, where he learned the Altean, Balmeran, Olkari, and Unilu languages. His Altean was coming along especially nicely. He spent vargas and vargas at Lotor’s side in diplomatic and war convenes, following along to the best of his ability and learning more of the languages each passing dabosh. Then, each evening, he went into the arena.

The real satisfaction came from his fights. He hated himself for it, though that was nothing new. He had fought in the arena ten times since he gained the title of  _ Blue Betrayer, _ and he had won ten times since he had captured the hearts and interest of the Galran Empire. It was exhilarating, knowing that he was the best fighter in the arena and that he was the Prince’s companion and Ace. He had never been this important in his entire life.

The satisfaction never made him hesitate for a moment, though, as he kept a careful eye out each and every time he walked with Lotor. He memorized everything he could, from airlocks and escape pods, to guard rotations and camera locations. Unfortunately, an escape still seemed unreachable in the foreseeable future. 

Lance laid in bed, thinking of everything that had lead him up to this point in his life. Two years ago, he  _ never _ would have thought alien contact would happen within his lifetime. He would have called anyone a liar for telling him that he would be a great hand-to-hand combatant. He would have  _ laughed _ at the idea of him being in bed with the Prince of an entire, intergalactic Empire. Quiznack, he  _ felt _ like laughing at the turn of events. He went from the youngest of his family, a bi-lingual, bisexua;, and biracial boy, to the lover of a  _ Prince _ . 

No matter how forced the situation felt to him, the Prince seemed oblivious to his internal struggles. He supposed it just proved how serious his circumstances were. This facade could mean the difference between life and death for him.

Lotor’s arm wrapped around his waist from behind, tugging him closer under the covers. Like each night before, Lance forced himself to stop thinking of the events that lead up to the moment he was in. He shoved away any lingering feelings about his team, family, and Earth. He had been through so much since that day they found the Blue Lion, and he was  _ tired _ . He wanted to be able to enjoy at least some comforting touches.

Tonight, however, he lived up to his newfound name more than ever and betrayed himself. He let his mind wander as he fell asleep, to a place where the Red Paladin was the one holding him close. A sigh of content escaped his lips and he drifted into the most peaceful sleep he’d had since his arrival.

* * *

The team received word of the newest arena favorite fairly quickly. The castle recorded vast amounts of communication chatter to scan for anything useful, so when word suddenly spiked about the  _ Blue Betrayer _ , they noticed. 

Reports of the  _ Blue Betrayer _ were so convoluted, though, that there were very few consistencies. Some people were saying that the fighter was a man, others said they were a woman. Most said that they were bipedal, a few claimed Altean heritage, and even some spun a tale of the  _ Champion _ ’s reincarnation. 

Most alarming, a large number of them reported that they were both a former Paladin of Voltron, and the Prince’s companion. Allura discussed this with Coran and Shiro, and all three of them decided to keep it to themselves. They had seen how Lance’s death had taken a toll on the others, not excluding themselves. Rumors from the arena were sensationalized at best, and they knew that Lotor wasn’t above lying to make it seem like he had convinced one of their paladins to abandon them. It wasn’t worth the empty hope it would give the younger paladins.

It took a few vargas before it came to Pidge’s attention, though nobody was shocked that she managed to get ahold of the information. Unlike the older team members, she shared it with the others immediately. 

“I know it’s not very solid,” she said quietly, “but do you guys think there’s even a  _ chance _ ?” Her small hands held her laptop, and Hunk looked to Shiro.

Several glances were exchanged for a few seconds, before Allura finally broke the silence to answer, “Pidge, we searched as carefully and extensively as we could for Lance. There was no living signature in the area.” 

Keith’s hands gripped the cuffs of Lance’s jacket, and he shook his head in disbelief. “We  _ have  _ to check it out, though.” He replied, folding his arms over his chest. “The signals are saying that the fighter was a former  _ Paladin of Voltron _ , and they’re calling him the  _ Blue Betrayer _ . There’s no way that’s a coincidence.” 

Hunk’s expression shifted from slight concern to visibly irate. “Are you telling me that you think that if Lance was alive he would have become the Blue  _ Betrayer _ ?” He emphasized the last word, “ _ Seriously _ ? These rumors are talking about how this fighter is Lotor’s right-hand man, and how they’re  _ never  _ seen apart. I don’t know about  _ you, _ but that sounds a lot like lovers, and nothing like Lance.”

Keith unfolded his hands indignantly and took a step towards Hunk to argue, “I never said he would  _ betray _ us, but it’s been  _ months _ since he disappeared. Who  _ knows _ what they’ve done to him by now! We don’t even  _ kno _ -”

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro snapped, cutting him off mid-sentence. The Red Paladin tried to speak again, but he raised his voice slightly and repeated, “ **_Keith_ ** .” He looked around at his team and sighed. “I  _ know _ losing a teammate is hard, for  _ all _ of us. We have searched for Lance  _ everywhere _ we can, and there is  _ no living sign of him _ .”

He ran his hand through his hair and continued, “I understand none of you want to hear this, but most likely his body was burned up by the explosions at the prison outpost. We can’t keep getting hung up on this. Lance wouldn’t want us to be clinging to him after his death, not when it puts us in  _ danger _ . He loved our team, so we need to respect that and keep it together for him.”

Pidge smiled softly. She looked upset still, but like Shiro’s words made a connection for her that she needed. Hunk stood nearby, nodding in agreement. He knew Lance the best, and everything that their leader had said was true.

The only Paladin unsatisfied with Shiro’s response was Keith. As Hunk, Pidge, and the Alteans left to do other work, the Red Paladin locked gazes with Shiro and waited for the room to clear before addressing him.

“This is  _ wrong _ .” He snapped, pointing an accusing finger at the Black Paladin. “At the very least, we  _ need _ to go check in near the arena for any signs of Lance. We can’t just ignore this.”

Shiro was exhausted. He hadn’t slept properly in a few months, and his eating schedule had only been decent because he had to keep the rest of his team well taken care of. The emotional burden of trying to help the three younger paladins through their own grieving process had taken a massive toll on him, and Allura and Coran hadn’t been much help. They were still mourning their own people, and Coran was having an exceptionally hard time dealing with Lance’s death.

His tired eyes met Keith’s accusing glare and he snapped. “You need to  _ stop _ .” He replied, his tone angrier than Keith had heard in a long time. Shiro took a step closer to the Red Paladin and pointed a finger at his chest. “Can’t you see how much it tears Pidge up every time you bring up the possibility of Lance being alive? She feels  _ so _ guilty because we were there with him when he got overtaken by the Galran soldiers. She’s already lost her brother, and now you’re giving her false hope that she  _ knows _ won’t change anything.”

Keith was shocked at his outburst but bowed up to his mentor immediately, “We can’t leave this lead unchecked, we  _ owe _ it to him. I can’t just accept that he went missing and we didn’t pursue every possibility to find him!” Desperate tears welled up in his eyes.

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose and rested a hand on his hip for a moment to try and compose himself. “You don’t  _ get  _ it Keith. You’re not the only one who lost Lance. Pidge thought of him as another brother. Coran saw his late  _ son _ in Lance. Hunk practically  _ grew up _ with him, and the boy looked at me like I was a fucking  _ superhero _ . Do you really think that you’re the only one who feels guilty for his death? The only one who feels  _ responsible _ ? Or upset? We’re  _ all _ hurting here.”

Keith’s tears started to fall, “Shiro,  _ you _ don’t get it. He can’t be dead,” his voice started to crack and he tried to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat, “You don’t  _ understand _ what I said to him the last time we had a chance to talk.” He took a shaky breath and dipped his head low. His hands were clenched into tight fists at his side. “I haven’t gotten a chance to make it right, he just, he,” a sob broke and he cried, “I can’t  _ lose _ him.”

Shiro stood in front of the sobbing young man, but didn’t know how to react. He hadn’t even noticed that something had happened between the two, or that the Red Paladin was carrying so much regret with him. “Keith,” he whispered, placing a hand on the younger man’s shoulder, “if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Keith shook off Shiro’s hand like it had burnt him. He avoided his pitying looks and shied away from any physical contact, “No, this is something I did, and something  _ I  _ have to fix.”

He hesitated a few seconds before taking a deep breath, then turned and walked away from the Black Paladin. Shiro was left feeling more exhausted than before.

* * *

Lance woke up to violent tug. He was startled awake and alert in only a few ticks. Lotor had snatched him halfway across the bed by the upper arm, with his sharp nails digging into his skin. Lance thought he heard a yelp, but that was probably his own, from being jerked awake.

“ _ L-Lotor _ ?” He asked, his voice still a bit gruff and shaky from having just woken up, “ _ What’s wrong, my Prince? _ ” he added, hoping the nervous feeling in his gut was just an overreaction.

The Prince looked positively enraged. It was rare to see such raw emotion from him, and Lance had the impression that even then his outbursts were extremely controlled. Half naked next to him and with his hair tousled, it looked like the Prince himself had just woken up. 

Lotor didn’t speak for a tick, leaving Lance to ask another question, to coax out the problem, “ _ Did you have a nightmare? Are you okay? _ ” he asked, worry tinting his voice. Although Lotor’s grip on his arm was still painfully tight, Lance shifted to get closer to the Galran man. He hoped that it would calm him down a bit, or at least ease the anger being directed towards him.

Lotor’s nostrils flared and he spat, “ _ I don’t want to hear another man’s name cross your lips in our bed  _ **_ever_ ** _ again. _ ” Lance paled, had he said something in his sleep? Had the Prince misheard him?

“ _ Lotor, _ ” He replied, touching his hand to where the other was still holding him, “ _ I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re the  _ **_only_ ** _ one I have.” _ His voice was soft and vulnerable, something he knew the Prince loved to hear. There wasn’t time to think about how twisted it was for Lotor to enjoy the unbalanced power dynamic between the two of them, he just had to make the Prince calm down.

“ _ Then  _ **_why_ ** ,” he replied bitterly, accusation dripping from his words, “ _ are you calling for the  _ **_Red Paladin_ ** _ in your sleep? _ ”

* * *

Allura called for another meeting shortly after Shiro and Keith’s argument. The tension on the team had reached another high, mostly due to the Red Paladin’s refusal to accept Lance’s death. It was putting a strain on Pidge and Hunk. They were both grieving, and Keith’s accusations of the team not following every possibility for Lance to be alive made them feel guilty. Or rather, guiltier than before.

“Alright everyone. We’ve received transmissions from the Blade regarding information about Lotor’s fleet and possible leads on Pidge’s family. Our best course of action would be to test the waters near the main fleet, just to get a good understanding of how strong their ranks are.” She glanced over the members of the team, “It’s a bit too risky for the Blade to do this hit and run, as many of their people are undercover. But with the castle’s ability to wormhole, we can slip away once we have a good understanding of their strengths.”

Pidge had been waiting for the Princess to stop talking before she asked, “What about my family?”

Allura nodded, “You’ll be able to hack into any communications we get close enough to, and any information about previous prisoners should be in there. Also, it’s a chance for the Blade to reconnect to undercover members, and spread the word that Voltron is looking for one of the Paladins’ brother and father.”

Keith folded his arms and added, “And we can scan Lotor’s ship for any sign of Lance’s quintessence.” 

Hunk looked pained, but agreed with his teammate. “I have to know for sure. We might not know of any possible way for him to be alive, but Keith is right, all of these rumors about this  _ Blue Betrayer _ guy are really making me nervous. What if Lance really is okay, and we haven’t looked for him enough?”

Allura glanced to Shiro silently for confirmation, for which he nodded, “There’s no harm in that. I would also feel better knowing for certain that the newest victor in the arena isn’t Lance.” A brief flash of sorrow showed in her expression, “We must ensure that all possibilities are explored.”

* * *

Lotor had given Lance the cold shoulder all through their morning meal. It upset the former Blue Paladin. He didn’t have much for company, really only the Prince, so his anger upset him. 

He knew exactly what the Prince was doing, however, and he knew exactly what he needed to do to get back in his good favor. Just show a bit of weakness, of vulnerability, something to show that he’s at Lotor’s mercy. 

“ _ I _ -” he hesitated, “ _ I’m sorry for upsetting you, my Prince _ .” he said, lowering his head. “ _ I dreamt of Voltron last night, and I had no idea I would speak in my sleep. _ ”

The Prince turned to look at Lance, still visibly angry with him, “ _ And do you think of the team that abandoned you often? _ ”

Lance once again hesitates, giving himself a few ticks to collect his words and to make Lotor think he is conflicted. “ _ I think about them each and every quintent _ .” He admitted. He waited a tick too long to continue, though, as Lotor cut him off in irritation.

“ _ We will hold up the meeting with the Tedaii if we continue to speak of your former team. Get dressed and join the convene when you’re ready. _ ” He said curtly. It felt like a slap to the face for Lance, he had never walked to any political meeting without Lotor by his side. “ _ One of my generals will escort you. _ ”

Lance dipped his head lower and flinched at his tone, “ _ Yes, my Prince. _ ”

Lotor stopped by the door and sighed. He walked back to the disheartened human and placed his hands on his cheeks, lifting Lance’s head to have their eyes meet. He could see how Lance’s eyes were watering, and Lance could see the indifference in his eyes soften. 

He sighed again, this time significantly less irritated, and gave the former Blue Paladin a small smile. He dipped down to touch their foreheads together and closed his eyes, assuring Lance, “ _ I am upset with you, but it does not change my affections for you. _ ”

Lance returned the smile and touched Lotor’s hands gently. When the Prince pulled away from the gesture, Lance followed him with his eyes as he left. The doors closed behind him and he was left to find suitable clothing for the meeting in solitude. 

He scoffed,  _ Lotor’s just as touch starved as me _ , he realized.

* * *

The five Paladins gathered in the hangar to plan for their departure to Lotor’s fleet. They each wore their armor, respective to their lion’s color. Except for Allura. The Blue Paladin armor was lost with Lance, and she felt wrong in making another set in his color. Instead, she wore Pink Paladin armor, something that the Earthen team members learned was out of respect for fallen warriors. 

“Pidge.” Allura called out, having the various Paladins repeat their roles back to her.

“I’m going to intercept as many signals as possible and start decoding them in hope of getting messages from the undercover Blade members or word of my family.” She explained back.

“Shiro and Hunk.”

Hunk glanced at the older man first, then replied, “We’re going to be providing cover for Keith and also attacking any ion cannons if they try to use them against us.”

Allura nodded, then turned to the Red Paladin, “Keith.”

“I’m going to be attacking as much as possible, with you. Attack, fall back, repeat. Just testing the waters.” He replied, his mood had improved drastically since the team finally agreed to follow the communication chatter about the  _ Blue Betrayer _ . 

“And Coran?” She asked, turning to the last member of the team, albeit not a Paladin.

“I’ll be waiting in the castle, Princess,” he replied, “ready to wormhole at a tick’s notice and also ready to provide cover if things get particularly nasty.”

Allura took a moment to glance over her team. She had built up friendships with them that she hoped would last a lifetime. “Alright,” she said, “then we’re good to head out.”

The Blue Lion still had its shield up, but the remaining Paladins boarded their lions as Coran left for the control room to wormhole them nearer to Lotor’s fleet. Allura felt far more comfortable trying to persuade the Blue Lion to open up to her when they were on  _ her _ time, rather than when the team was actively under attack.

Coran spoke over the communication devices, “Prepare for wormhole travel.” There was a slight warped feeling that washed over the Paladins, but nothing they hadn’t already gotten accustomed to. 

Strangely, the Blue Lion’s shield went down the moment they passed through the wormhole and came out near the Galran fleet. It surprised Allura, but she thought very little of it, considering how long she had been in the hangar with the rest of the team before she approached the Blue Lion.

She boarded easily and without trouble.

* * *

Lance quickly chose his attire for the political meeting, matching up colors that the Tedaii associated with honesty, compassion, and strength. He also picked out modest jewelry that Lotor had previously expressed interest in. As the Prince, he was expected to refrain from wearing anything that might offend those he met with, so jewelry was typically out of the question due to some cultures’ views on displays of wealth. 

He had a bit more freedom in that aspect, however, so long as it was still modest in nature. His clothing was slightly more to the decorative side than protective, but it was made from the same material of his arena armor. Lightweight, yes, but still incredibly strong and resistant to blades. It was a combination of black, blue, and purple, all colors that the Tedaii held in high esteem. Also all colors that Lance felt he looked pretty good in.

The silver earring cuff glinted in the mirror as he checked himself once over. Glancing at the door, Lance wondered where his escort was. He didn’t want to keep the Prince waiting. With amazing timing, a knock rang through, followed immediately by the door being opened.

“ _ Heya! _ ” A cheerful voice rang out. Lance searched his memory for a name, coming finally to the colorful Galran general’s.

_ “Hello, Ezor _ ,” he greeted cordially. He dipped his head slightly, as he had seen and been taught.

The bubbly Galran woman laughed, “ _ You don’t have to do that! Just c’mon, the Prince is waiting on you. _ ” She gestured for Lance to follow, so he did.

The walk was quieter than he expected, as Ezor had promptly stood straighter and sobered up once she began escorting him. He almost felt uncomfortable around her, which was the most surprising part. He thought that of all of Lotor’s generals, she would be the warmest.

When they finally reached their destination, she returned to the demeanor Lance had assumed was her normal. It confused him, but he didn’t question it.

“ _ So… _ ” She drew out, “ _ What’s going on with you and the Prince? He wasn’t in a very good mood, and you’re pretty quiet, too. _ ” Lance had to commend her for her observation. He hadn’t seen the Prince’s generals very much, but she still was able to read him very well for only seeing his behavior for a short amount of time. 

He gave a small shrug, “ _ I messed up, and he’s upset with me now. I, _ ” he paused, realizing his confession might be a mistake. Though, he’d already started telling her now, so not going through would be more suspicious. “ _ I dreamt about my old team, and he heard me say the name of someone I used to love in my sleep. _ ” He ran his hand through his hair, “ _ I don’t know how to fix it, but I don’t want to lose Lotor _ .” He added, speaking the way he thought he would, had the situation been reversed, and Keith had heard him call out for Lotor. 

Ezor’s expression softened, “ _ I know it’s gotta be hard on you, since you’ve been through a lot of difficult changes these past few cycles. Plus I heard that your planet hadn’t even made contact with any other worlds yet, so the whole intergalactic-empire must have come at a huge shock, am I right?” _

Lance laughed quietly,  _ “Yeah, I always thought there was life out there but actually seeing it and learning their languages and befriending them was something I never expected to do _ .” He glanced up at the Galran woman, “ _ But I’ve come to love this place, even if I had a really rocky start. I know I can never go back to my home world, so I want to make a new home, here. _ ”

A bubbly grin spread across Ezor’s face. “ _ I like you, Lance. You’re really good for Lotor, too. _ ” Her grin faltered for a tick, and the door to the meeting room opened to reveal an annoyed Prince. He still seemed pretty upset with Lance, and the former Blue Paladin almost didn’t catch Ezor’s last comment as he joined Lotor. “ _ I just wish he was good for you, too. _ ”

Lance pretended he didn’t hear the muttered comment, and pretended he didn’t see the glare the Prince cast at his general. Instead, he eased back into Lotor’s hand as it rested on his lower back and smiled nicely for the diplomats from the Tedaii planet. 

* * *

Keith was firing rapidly on the minor ships, then falling back periodically to get cover from Hunk and Shiro, who would attack while the Red Paladin had his reprieve. Pidge had latched onto the bottom of one of the larger ships while she was cloaked, allowing her to plug directly into the communications systems and start downloading their feeds. 

Allura, however, was unable to aide Keith in his rapid-firing as the plan accounted for. Instead, she was fighting with the Blue Lion every step of the way, to the point where there was only a constant sway of the lion pulling her into the fleet, then her jerking the controls away to fall back. It didn’t take long for the team to notice.

“Allura, what’s wrong with the Blue Lion?” Keith called out, still behind the Black and Yellow Lions for the time being. There was a crackling over the communicators before Allura’s voice came through.

“I,” another crackle, “not sure, the Blue Lion is trying to fly into the fleet, but there are far too many fighters for me to go in by myself.”

“We should fall back, we can’t risk the Blue Lion being uncooperative with you.” Shiro said. Then to Coran, “Get the castle ready to wormhole.”

Pidge was disheartened at the short mission, “Are you sure we can’t stay for just a few more minutes? I want to get as much info as possible.” She knew the chances were pretty slim, but still had to ask.

“I dunno, Pidge,” Hunk replied, maneuvering his lion around to scope out the fleet. “I really think it’s time to back out, there are some new ships closing in, and if the Blue Lion is being difficult, we can’t risk it.”

Pidge nodded, and muttered an agreement. She detached from the ship she was on and called out, “Ready for retreat.”

The others called out one by one of their readiness, and the unit flew back to the castle in formation. They paid no mind that the fleet didn’t pursue them. The farther they flew away from the fleet, the more difficult it became for Allura to control the Blue Lion.

They finally made it into the hangar, with great difficulty due to the Blue Lion’s stubbornness, and they all exited to discuss what had happened.

Pidge spoke first, wanting to leave the hangar to start deciphering information, “I’m going to head out to m-” Her voice was drowned out by the activation of the Blue Lion. It came to life suddenly, standing up straight and roaring powerfully. The sound reverberated throughout the hangar and shook the Paladins themselves.

Like the vision the humans shared when they first encountered the Blue Lion back on Earth, it’s roar took them to a moment in time it witnessed cycles ago.

* * *

_ A Galran soldier’s gun went off, piercing Lance through the shoulder and making him crumple momentarily from the pain. In the distance, Pidge could be heard shouting for her friend and teammate. The soldier ordered a few Galran men to investigate where the noise had come from. Lance composed himself despite the pain and barreled into the soldier giving out orders.  _

_ Though the impact hurt him more, it kept the solider from ordering more than one or two Galran men to follow his teammates. The leader of the group grabbed Lance by the shoulder with the new wound, and dug his thumb into the Blue Paladin’s flesh.  _

_ Lance’s scream made the Blue Lion activate. Another soldier spoke to the one holding Lance in an unrecognized language, causing the leader to grin. He gestured for the Paladin to be taken aboard their small fighter ship.  _

_ Though he was wounded and being dragged away, Lance threw his head back to look at his Lion. “Get them back to the castle, Blue! You’ve got to save them for me.”  _

_ The Blue Lion clamped its jaws shut, with released prisoners inside, and watched as the fighter ship created a warp in space and made its escape.  _

_ There was an overwhelming amount of confliction within the Blue Lion. It wanted to save its Paladin, but had been told to save the rescued prisoners. With orders overriding its desire to help its Paladin, the Blue Lion returned to the ship as Lance wanted. _

* * *

Princess Allura blinked several times, then looked around at her teammates to see the same dazed expression on their faces that she bore. Droplets fell to her hands and she realized she was crying. Relieved that Lance was alive, but overwhelmingly guilt-ridden that she hadn’t been using their time to search for him, she was conflicted.

Keith was the first to speak. “We  _ have _ to find him.” Of all of the Paladins, he was the happiest. The others were a mix of relief, guilt, and regret, but the Red Paladin felt nothing but relief and hope.

Until Shiro spoke, “Jesus  _ Christ _ , I can’t imagine what he’s been through while waiting for a rescue, we have to start planning for something  _ now. _ ” He fretted, trying to leave for the control room.

Hunk was still in shock, “He’s...alive.” Tears fell from his eyes, “I can’t believe it, but I’m so happy he’s alive I just hope he’s safe still we have to get him home.” He rambled, already planning out useful gadgets to use for their extraction. 

* * *

Vargas later, when Lotor and Lance finally were able to speak once more, the Prince’s anger had finally melted away enough for him to speak clearly to the former paladin about it.

Jealousy, overwhelming and unexpected, had clouded his judgement, regrettably. Laying with the young human man in their shared chambers, Lotor asked him absent mindedly the question he had asked earlier that morning, “ _ Do you think of the Red Paladin still? Of your old team? _ ”

Lance toyed with Lotor’s hair and felt his voice catch. “ _ Every quintent. _ ” He replied, his hands stilling while still full of Lotor’s soft locks, “ _ Every quintent I think about how much I trusted in them and care for them, only for them to replace me at the first opportunity. _ ” 

The former Blue Paladin didn’t have to be able to see the Prince’s face to know the smug, vile smile that would be occupying it. He knew exactly what the Galran Prince wanted to hear, and he was going to make sure he heard it. 

Lotor was extremely pleased with how Lance was shaping up, he knew he would have to show off his companion to the Voltron team soon.


	8. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance hates how much it hurts that he is not trusted within the Empire, but does that trust really amount to anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said on my tumblr (lightpinkthecolorofmyaura) that I would have it updated by thursday (the 24th) but unfortunately, I got a bit sick and only now was able to complete the last half and edit. Feeling much better now though!
> 
> Also!! Some song recs from wormspoor regarding this chapter!   
> "Fickle Game" by Amber Run   
> "Get Free" by Whissell

The next morning Lance was exceptionally tired. He hadn’t been allowed a tick’s worth of rest from Lotor’s affections. It would have been one thing if he genuinely returned them, but pretending to have feelings for someone he resented was extremely draining.  _ Especially _ if he had no mental breaks from it.

He learned from the quintent before that trying to retreat into his own mind, or think of a better person to have in his arms, would backfire spectacularly. He was thankful for the fact that he had at least built up some sort of standing with the Prince before the events of the previous quintent, or he never would have been able to return to ‘normal’ so quickly.

If there was anything he had learned from the whole ordeal, however, it was that his escape plan needed to take a priority. Lotor was obviously fixated on him in a rather unhealthy and obsessive way, and Lance felt like another jealous swing like the one he had just experienced wouldn’t be resolved so easily. The former Blue Paladin had assumed that the Prince would be easily manipulated due to his seeming lack of affection. Although he was right, he hadn’t accounted for the reserved and collected Galran man to succumb to his newfound emotions so strongly. 

It spoke numbers for his childhood and expectations regarding emotions. He knew somewhere he’d read about neglected children having tendencies towards unhealthy relationships, due to the fact that they didn’t know how to properly give or receive love. But what did he know? His older sister was the psychologist, not him. 

He went through his quintents feeling traitorous, weak, and vile. The people here were  _ good _ people and it messed with his mind. Ezor spoke with him often and talked about her home, a moon base where her father had smuggled her to when she was a young child. It broke his heart to hear how she was forced to leave when the other residents found out she was half-galran. It was nearly unbearable to hear how she was only allowed into the Empire itself because Lotor wanted her as a spy because of her abilities. It was just an excuse, she had assured him, since she had come from a rebel base.

Though his heart bled for his newfound friend, he still couldn’t keep his mind away from how he wished he knew how Keith was doing. Allura had apologized for her behaviour after finding out he was part Galra, but that doesn’t just make everything right all of a sudden. He knew Pidge had her reserves occasionally, especially when Keith would lash out in anger and frustration. The former Blue Paladin would never tell him, but he thought Keith looked the most like a Galran man when he was angry. Then again, before his capture, he had never seen many expressions other than anger from the Galran soldiers they fought.

He let himself think about it for a while. Many of the fighters reminded Lance of the Red Paladin, he had noticed early on that Keith fought like a Galran. Lotor also reminded him of Keith, but not in any tangible way. If he had to put it in words, Lance would say it was his own selfish desire that made the connection. He was intimate with Lotor, but wished it could be Keith. A ridiculous connection, since he knew Keith’s feelings, but one he made nonetheless.

He would have remained in his thoughts even longer, but Lotor brought him back to reality by wrapping his arms around him and nestling his head into his chest. Lance sighed, he was tired of this pretending. He was tired of forcing himself to make gentle touches, to say loving words, to initiate romantic and sexual gestures to prove his loyalty to this sick bastard.

“ _ Good morning _ ,  _ my Prince _ .” Lance whispered softly, dipping his head down low to blow gently into the Prince’s pointed ear. Lotor shifted and laughed, his eyes fluttering open. Lance tried to ignore how adorable the reaction was at first, but realized it didn’t matter if he thought it was cute. He might as well go with it, since he was supposed to be Lotor’s companion anyway. “ _ I think that’s my new favorite sound _ .” he teased, blowing in Lotor’s ear once again. The Prince laughed and moved again, bringing a hand up to Lance’s chest and finally getting up completely.

“ _ Don’t be such a tease so early in the quintent _ ,” Lotor purred, “ _ it makes me want to skip the meetings I have and just stay in bed with you _ .” His words indicated he wanted Lance to stop, but his tone suggested he liked the way his companion was acting. Lance humored him some more.

“ _ Personally I’m all for rolling in bed a little longer _ .” He pushed, sitting up and brushing Lotor’s messy hair away from his face. “ _ But I do know your meetings this quintent are more important than normal _ .” He added, his tone dipping slightly in disappointment. He didn’t want to initiate sex  _ too _ often, simply because he didn’t want to do it.

Lotor groaned and threw himself on his back. “ _ I really don’t want to go. Especially seeing as you’re not permitted to come. _ ” Lance sat up a bit straighter.

“ _ Why am I not allowed to accompany you? I understand it’s more important, but I’ve attended dozens at your side. _ ” He was a little wounded. He might still have plans to escape at some point, but he’s done a damned good job of making himself trustworthy. 

The Prince brought his hands to his face and dragged them down dramatically, groaning again, “ _ Some of them  _ **_still_ ** _ do not trust you, even as my companion. Though I did offer one of them the chance to stay with us at night, they politely declined. _ ” He laughed a little at his own joke, and Lance rolled his eyes with a smile. Lotor’s joking demeanor faltered, “ _ I cannot rightly force them to allow you to sit in. Their concerns are technically valid, therefore to override them completely would cost me support of many officers _ .”

Lance nodded along, “ _ Of course, you don’t have to fight that hard for me to sit in with you, love. _ ” He shrugged a little, “ _ I want to spend my life with you, they’ll eventually come around to trust me _ .” His implication of wanting to be with the Prince for the rest of his life brought back Lotor’s smile. 

The Prince cupped Lance’s face and brought their foreheads together. The former Blue Paladin’s heart fluttered at the sudden intimacy but closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling. He smiled softly at his companion as he stood to get ready for the upcoming meetings. 

Lance also began getting dressed, for his tutoring with Navil. It only took the two a few daboshes to get ready, and they were able to expertly avoid getting in one another’s way. It was like they had been living together for years.

“ _ I love you, Lance. _ ” Lotor called, as he was about to leave, “ _ Please enjoy your classes while we’re separated _ .”

Lance’s smile widened, and it felt more genuine than normal. “ _ I love you too, Lotor. Please don’t cause too much trouble in your meetings _ .” The Prince waved a hand dismissively at Lance and laughed the suggestion off, exiting quickly before Lance could follow it up with anything.

Lance sat down and sighed. He had to wait for an escort now, but in the meantime, he was going to feel around for any trackers.

* * *

He had searched every square inch of his body by the time Ezor came to pick him up. The only place a tracker could have been put that he couldn’t check would be internally. Lance still didn’t know how he was going to see if he had any internally, but he knew it had to figure it out quickly. He was getting too comfortable in the Empire, too friendly with the people who lived here, and too close to developing feelings for the Prince. It wasn’t natural, healthy, or safe, but he recognized the way his chest felt when the Prince laughed and nuzzled their foreheads together. Those emotions were a dangerous thing, and they were either going to cost himself his life or his soul.

Ezor chatted on with Lance in the room for several daboshes about how the arena misses him. She called him the Blue Betrayer as if it was a grand compliment, and it stung a little. He knew she was being genuine, and that she meant no harm, but he didn’t  _ want _ to be known as a betrayer. He wasn’t the one who betrayed anyone. His team betrayed  _ him _ when they  _ abandoned _ him. 

Her bubbly personality reminded him of himself. She flirted, joked, and made him feel comfortable and welcome, without being overbearing. It made him miss the way he could act back at the Garrison, or the Castle. He felt like he had changed, and that there was no going back to the personality he once possessed, and loved. He had many insecurities, but being flirtatious and fun was never something that he hated about himself. Now, he had taken some of the few personality traits he liked, and possibly ruined them for himself forever.

That didn’t matter, though. Not in the long run. He would get through this and live to fight the Galran Empire, alone if he had to.

* * *

The Prince met with his officers as requested. Like his companion suggested, he had decided not to push to allow Lance to sit into further meetings until they decided they trusted him better. After all, the human man had said himself that they had  _ plenty _ of time to come around.

Lotor sat at the head of the table with four other officers. He knew their names and positions, as well at their current stations. It was a lot of tedious, but useful, information.

“ _ Well, why don’t we just begin the discussion the four of you are  _ **_really_ ** _ wanting to have. _ ” He began, folding his hands and placing them on the table to wait for one of them to speak, “ _ I’m open to any of your concerns. _ ”

One of the four, the one who was stationed closest to the main fleet, bowed his head slightly and spoke first, “ _ My Prince, none of wish to offend you or your companion, but many people in the Empire have a lot of concerns about deciding so quickly that a former Paladin of Voltron is trustworthy. _ ” He looked to the others for support, who nodded for him to continue, “ _ Other than the arena, there has been nothing for him to prove any kind of loyalty _ .”

The Prince hesitated a tick before gesturing outward with his hands, “ _ And has he not proven his loyalty by fighting for the Empire and myself in the arena? _ ” he challenged, bringing his hands back in the patient clasp.

The one who spoke shifted nervously. Picking up where he left off, one of the other officers replied, “ _ Not really, sir. He rarely fought in the early stages, _ ” she began counting off the reasons why, holding out a new digit for every point, “ _ he has never killed a prisoner, and it is very likely he killed only for the benefit of saving other prisoners. After all, he killed mercenaries who would  _ **_always_ ** _ kill their opponent. _ ” Lotor hummed in response.

He thought carefully about the way Lance had acted. It was entirely possible that his loyalty wasn’t shown entirely through the arena, as the Galran officer before him had a very good point. 

Nodding curtly, the Prince agreed, “ _ Though I have faith in my companion’s loyalty to me, I understand your concerns and will find a way to properly demonstrate the validity of my good faith. Within a few quintents, your concerns will be put to rest. _ ”

* * *

“Keith,” Shiro interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I  _ know _ you’re worried about Lance, but we can’t rush into the  _ center  _ of the Galran Empire without a solid plan. If we go in there blind, it’s going to be a suicide mission.” 

The Red Paladin groaned in frustration, “But  _ Shiro _ .” The older man raised an eyebrow, leaving Keith to reconsider his argument. He huffed and changed his direction slightly, “We need to plan  _ faster _ . He’s been there for  _ months _ .”

Shiro nodded, “I know, we’re all worried about him and we’re going to get him back. I’m sure he’s been waiting on a rescue, and he’s going to be so relieved when we finally come and get him.” He spoke with a calm and even tone, trying to get Keith to stop worrying so much. “Not to mention, if we find his bayard, he’ll have a field day taking out the people who have been holding him this entire time.”

Keith bit out a small laugh, “Yeah he will. So will I.” Shiro clapped a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

“Don’t worry kid, we’ll get your  _ boyfriend _ back.” He teased. Keith’s face flushed.

“He’s not my  _ boyfriend _ , you prick.” He didn’t bother trying to hide his smile.

* * *

Lance’s lessons with Navil had continued into his language learning, and through cultural norms. He discussed the differences between marriage and companionship in most Earthen and Galran cultures. The similarities were striking, but the main difference came in legality. Any long-term partnership was considered a legal arrangement in the Galran culture, one that didn’t require any formal paperwork. 

He also asked about ship information, under the guise of being concerned for the safety of his Prince. 

“ _ Why would you need to know about this _ ?” Navil asked him. Lance’s heart stopped for a tick. He felt like he had been to forward, and ruined everything.

“ _ Although there are guards near my Prince most of the quintent, I need to know these things in the event of an emergency. _ ” He dipped his head lower and prayed that his reasoning made sense. For good measure, he added,  _ “But Lotor has mentioned how a few high-ranking officers have shown concern for my loyalty. If you are among them, please don’t force yourself. I understand how my interest could be suspicious _ .”

Navil’s expression wavered before he sighed and shook his head, “ _ I’ve come to think of you as a student and a friend. I couldn’t see you as having anything but the Prince’s best interest at heart. _ ” He took a breath and began explaining a few important safety features, “ _ There are communication devices in each hall, for quick access to guards in the event of a damaged personal communicator. Additionally, there are four escape pods on the ship, one in each of the major sides: Front, back, left, and right. The Prince has a personal code to access them in the event of an emergency, but they can be activated by anyone, provided they have the time to set the coordinates and initiate launch. _ ”

“ _ I see _ .” Lance said. He tilted his head to the side slightly and asked, “ _ But the Prince’s code does not need the time to program coordinates? Is that a safety measure for a quicker escape? Are there preprogrammed coordinates associated with his code? _ ”

Navil nodded. “ _ There are other technical features within the ship, but those are the most important, and also the most relevant to your uses. _ ”

For a tick, Lance nearly thought that his teacher was telling him that the escape pod was relevant to his uses. To his desire to  _ escape _ . He laughed the idea off, and followed up with a response, “ _ I hope it never comes to that, I don’t want my Prince being in danger. _ ”

* * *

Rumors flew from within the prisons. The Blue Paladin was the Prince’s companion. He was captured and had been fighting in the arena, until he caught Lotor’s eye. Since then, he has started occupying the Prince’s bed.

Many people believed it, but many more had reasons not to. Why would the Prince risk taking a Paladin of Voltron as a lover? Why would a Paladin risk being with the Prince of the Galran Empire? Who could even say for sure that Voltron was real, and that it wasn’t a tale that had gained recent popularity?

One prisoner refused to participate in the circulating ideas. She looked at her hands and clenched them. They were far rougher than when she had been captured, and baby blue scars littered her navy skin. She wished she could meet this Paladin. The members of Voltron had been seen in her galaxy before she was taken; she  _ knew _ it was true.

He would help her, if no one else would. She’d heard enough about the Blue Paladin to know that he wouldn’t turn his back on someone in need.

* * *

Coran stood in the control room before the rest of the team. “Alright Paladins,” He addressed them. They had gathered to finalize plans to rescue Lance, much to everyone’s relief. “We won’t be able to wormhole to the fleet, simply because we’re not sure if they can detect it on their scanners. However, the trip should only take about one of your Earth days!” 

Hunk’s easygoing demeanor had returned since they realized Lance was alive. It was only a matter of time before he had his best friend back. Pidge had even begun to sleep at night more properly again, and Keith was less reactive to everyone else. He stopped snapping at everyone, which left the entire team less hostile.

Shiro and Allura still felt immensely guilty, but they realized that the important thing was that they found and rescued Lance before it was too late. If they ultimately saved him, perhaps they could eventually forgive themselves for his capture and long imprisonment one day. 

* * *

Navil received a message during his and Lance’s time together. He looked a bit disappointed, and gave an exasperated sigh. “ _ It appears that the Prince’s meeting has ended early, and he requests your presence. Please return to your room immediately, Lance _ .”

Lance was a bit taken aback. He had never been asked to return somewhere without an escort. “ _ Is Ezor coming to retrieve me? _ ” He asked, starting to put away the books they had reviewed that day. 

Navil shook his head, “ _ No, although the officers are still not fully trusting of you, they have given way for you to walk around the ship freely. After all, there isn’t much you can do when there are guards posted at all vargas of the quintent. _ ” Lance smiled.

“ _ That’s great progress, I’ll go join my Prince now _ .” He was excited, the small freedom meant two things. To begin with, he was less constricted, and it made him feel less like a prisoner. Plus, it gave him opportunities to walk and observe without having to entertain conversations that distracted him from taking in his surroundings. 

He left the tick he had finished putting away the books, waving Navil a short goodbye. 

The Prince’s room was only a few daboshes’ walk away from the study, but Lance found himself enjoying the peace to himself immensely. It was something he hadn’t had the chance to experience since before his capture. 

But like the rest of his fortune since his capture, Lance found his peace and quiet ruined within a dabosh or two of leaving the study. He had turned down only a few halls and was nearly halfway to his destination when a figure came running at him. Startled, he braced himself for a fight.

“ _ I have permission to walk unescorted _ .” He snapped at the approaching figure. The dark blue person barreled into him, embracing him like a child looking for protection. He was suddenly thrown back to his nieces, nephews, and Pidge. The person looked up to him with tears in their eyes. “ _ What’s wrong? _ ” He asked, his demeanor melting into one more approachable.

Her Galran was not perfect, but she replied, “ _ I am Uvio, and I need your help, Blue Paladin _ .” His blood froze, did everyone know he was once the Blue Paladin? How could he help her when he could barely help himself? “ _ Please, they will force me into the arena again. I just want to go back to my family and my home _ .” 

Lance was conflicted. He glanced around the hall and noticed a bit of movement. He grabbed Uvio and tugged her around the corner, hidden from view. His breathing became a bit labored from an increased heart rate. He had a chance to finally do something redeemable since his arrival here.

“ _ Do you know where your home system is? _ ” He asked urgently, glancing out at the hall every few ticks. She nodded quickly. “ _ Good, good, I know how to get you out of here. _ ” He thought quickly of the layout of the ship and where the guards were normally posted. “ _ On the rear end of the ship, at the exact center, there should be an escape pod. You have to be quick and quiet. If you enter your system’s coordinates, you can use the pod to escape without being caught. _ ”

Her green-tinted eyes flashed yellow with hope. “ _ Blue Paladin, come with me so my people can reunite you with Voltron. _ ” He drew back from her slightly. Suddenly he felt like the floor had been taken away from under him.

“ _ I, _ ” he hesitated, “ _ I can’t _ .” Confusion rested on her face, prompting him to explain further. “ _ I think I have a tracker on me. The Prince has taken a liking to me, and is very possessive of what he thinks belongs to him _ .” His words were mostly true. The Prince  _ had _ taken a liking to him and  _ was _ very possessive about him. He did not, however, think that he had a tracker on him. He’d already searched his body and highly doubted that he would have an internal one. But  _ Uvio _ , she might have one. Especially if she had just escaped. He wasn’t going to ruin  _ his _ future break out because she hadn’t thought  _ hers _ out completely. 

She nodded solemnly and thanked him anyway. “ _ I will always remember your kindness, Blue Paladin _ .” She promised, pecking him on the cheek before running off to find the escape pod.

It was only when she turned the corner and was out of his line of sight that his chest seized.  _ Fuck _ . He thought suddenly,  _ What if he’s watching me? _

His heart pounded as he considered the possibility. Officers were concerned about his loyalty, so maybe they were testing him. Lotor wanted his undying devotion, was that something that was beneath him?  _ Absolutely not _ . 

What would happen to Uvio if she was caught? What if there was no test and she was caught anyway? Would that be traced back to him? Would she betray him?

A lump formed in his throat and he knew exactly what had to be done.

* * *

“Coran are we there yet?” Pidge asked, for the fourth time in a row. Keith snickered from the couch, while Hunk was trying to figure out if the twitch in Coran’s left eye was increasing at an exponential rate compared to the frequency of Pidge’s question.

With a huff, the Altean man replied, “Not for another four or five vargas. Er,” He waited a tick, “Something like your Earth hours. Maybe a touch longer.”

Shiro smiled fondly at his team. They were much more energetic and easy-going since they knew Lance was alive and had a way to get him back. The plan would be really similar to their previous plans of distract and hack. Allura felt like Lotor would be especially vulnerable to this, as everything they knew about him pointed to him being a very proud and boastful person. 

Out of all of them, however, Shiro was the least happy to hear about Lance’s capture. The others simply understood him not to be dead, which was certainly a reason to rejoice, but the Black Paladin had experienced something the others hadn’t: capture.

He was guilt-ridden by his negligence that resulted in Lance’s capture, and the refusal to continue looking for Lance out of fear of the team never mourning properly. Now, his guilt came from a new source, the thought in the back of his mind that it would have been better if Lance had died.

He knew what torture and capture was like, and what the arena could entail. More importantly, he knew that when he was in Galran captivity, he was just a “primitive scientist” in their eyes. Lance, on the other hand, was a Paladin of Voltron, the only thing in the universe that had a fighting chance at bringing down the Empire. Shiro remembered thinking that death was better than being in Galran captivity. Now, he felt vile for wishing that Lance was dead, rather than living through a worse hell than he had. 

* * *

 

A sharp ping came from Lotor’s communicator. A sick smile spread across lips, oh how his companion never ceased to surprise him. Lance was more than suitable to be by his side, and this only proved it further. The Prince was  _ enjoying _ himself.


	9. Regrets and Retreats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance faces the effects of his actions and is forced to make a difficult decision when he sees some familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so excited I had to update soon! It was 11 pages in word, but I had to stop like ten times because I kept getting secondhand nerves from this chapter. Male sure to check out my tumblr, lightpinkthecolorofmyaura! I'd love to get some writing requests for inspiration!

Uvio was captured at the escape pod’s lock pad. She had barely finished inputting the coordinates to her home system when she was seized by smug soldiers, yanking her roughly away from her only hope at seeing home again.

Nobody spoke to her, not even in the Galran tongue. She never realized the terror of the unknown until she had experienced it for herself. Even a harsh command would have been welcome, or a snide explanation of where she was being taken. Anything.

After several daboshes she was thrown through an open doorway, where two more guards were waiting. She scrambled to her feet and turned to face the door, only to have it slammed in her face. Her bottom lip quivered in fear, she  _ knew  _ this room. She knew what lurked behind her and she couldn’t bear the thought of facing the arena ever again. 

_ Fate is a cruel mistress _ , Uvio thought, as she was dragged once again. She stopped fighting. She would need her energy for the arena.

* * *

Lance embraced Lotor without hesitation the tick he stepped inside of their room. He breathed in deeply and tried to ignore what he had just done. Soft strokes of the Prince’s hand calmed his nerves. He couldn’t ignore his actions, unfortunately, because he had to speak about them. “ _ My Prince, is there something wrong with your security? _ ” He asked, his voice laced with concern, “ _ To have such a meek prisoner escape is dangerous. If someone small and weak can get through your guards, it pains me to imagine the damage that could be dealt by a stronger or more vengeful prisoner. _ ”

Lotor hummed quietly for a few ticks before shaking his head, “ _ Don’t worry for a moment, _ ” he assured Lance, “ _ I know my companion will protect me should the need arise _ .” Lance hugged tighter for a tick. 

“ _ Please consider strengthening the security, Lotor _ .” He begged, taking a serious gamble. If this had truly been something that was set up by the Galran man, the security would not be changed, and the prisoner may even be left alone. If it was  _ not _ a ploy, however, he might have set his escape  _ cycles _ behind. The small, sly smile that formed on the Prince’s lips reassured him that he was doing what was desired of him. 

“ _ If it will ease your mind, you can accompany me to the rest of my duties, to act as additional security _ .” The Prince offered. Lance smiled, careful not to seem too pleased despite getting confirmation on his suspicions, and nodded.

“ _ Though _ ,” Lance replied, more playfully, “ _ I would want to be by your side regardless _ .” He smiled at the Prince as they walked out of the room. Upon their exit, Lance realized he didn’t even know what else Lotor had to do. In fact, he found himself a little confused. He could have  _ sworn _ that the meetings with his officers were the only things he had scheduled for this quintent. 

* * *

Keith slammed the gladiator into the ground, yelling in frustration. His breathing was labored and he ordered the program to go up a level. He wasn’t fighting as well as normal, but the sheer power from his emotions and adrenaline was enough to compensate for his form. 

Hunk watched silently from the side, making sure the Red Paladin didn’t hurt himself from going all out. He had to admit he had fallen into a pretty bad rut when he thought Lance was dead, and he certainly hadn’t expected  _ Keith _ to start picking up the emotional slack. 

But now that they knew Lance was alive, he seemed to have fallen right back into the  impulsive attitude that they all knew. Unfortunately, that also meant that he was impatient and easily angered. Not that he  _ wasn’t _ still quick tempered when he thought Lance was dead, he just had a little more control for the sake of the others.

Keith faltered and fell forward, giving the gladiator the immediate upper hand. After one hit, Hunk stepped forward. Once Keith had taken three, Hunk called out, “End gladiator simulation!” The Red Paladin wheezed and rolled over, trying to get to his feet as quickly as possible.

“Why,” he took a few breaths, “would you end it.” It was a question, but Hunk thought it was a pretty stupid one. He left it unanswered and rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder. He sighed, Keith’s actions were tiring to anyone who would watch, which is why the others chose not to. 

“It’s time for dinner. You can’t keep sulking.” Hunk finally replied, definitely not giving Keith the answer he wanted. 

“ _ You guys _ can sit and do nothing, but  _ I’m _ preparing for a fight.” Keith snapped defensively, pulling away from Hunk’s hand. The Yellow Paladin tightened his grip and didn’t let him go.

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ act like we’re not doing anything, Keith.” Hunk replied, his tone indicated that arguing was not an option. “Eating and sleeping are what makes us  _ able _ to fight. How are you expecting to take on the main fleet of the Galran Empire if you haven’t eaten or slept in days?”

Keith grumbled to himself, before speaking loudly enough for Hunk to hear, “-and I have eaten.” Hunk gave him a look. “I  _ have _ . I just eat small portions throughout the day!” 

The Yellow Paladin rolled his eyes, “Eating when I bring you snacks does  _ not _ count, you’re just scared of me lecturing you.” Keith shrugged in response.

Hunk turned to face Keith completely, and put both his hands on the other’s shoulders. “Keith, I’m sorry the rescue mission got set back. You know there’s nothing we can do about it, though, and Allura and Coran said that the scan should only take an extra few hours.”

He avoided looking Hunk in the eyes, “A few hours could make a huge difference though, why is that fucking scan so important?” 

Hunk pulled Keith into a hug, “Because we want to know how many people we need to fight through to get to our friend. It doesn’t matter how many there are, but it  _ will _ change how we go about it. It’s important because if we go in with the wrong plan, it might put Lance in even more danger.”

Keith reciprocated the hug, relaxing into Hunk’s arms. He mumbled something into his chest. When Hunk didn’t respond, he repeated himself, louder, “You give the best hugs, thanks Hunk.” The Yellow Paladin laughed in response, momentarily hugging him tighter.

 

* * *

 

.

.

.

.

* * *

 

There are times in everyone’s lives when they realize they will regret something they’ve done for the rest of their lives. Lance was a firm believer of not regretting things, because once they’ve happened and are in the past, there is nothing you can do to change that. You can try to atone for it, or make the effects of the action better, but you cannot change that it happened. 

Now, as he faced the small feminine alien that had come to him in honest need, Lance realized that this was a moment in his life he would  _ never _ forget, and something he could  _ never  _ atone for.

Tears welled in Uvio’s eyes as she faced her betrayer. He had walked into the arena with his companion, a rumor that she learned the hard way to be the truth. The tick she saw him step in the arena, she dipped her head low so they couldn’t see her cry. He looked happy to be with him, something that made her feel ill. She had believed that the Paladin would be her savior. She knew now that he, as well as her faith in him, had only been her downfall. 

Lance refused to let his regret show in his expression. He had made it this far, and he would make it farther.  _ No matter what _ . The phrase had taken a darker turn than what he originally intended, back when he first started saying it to himself. Yet, it still held true. 

“ _ Uvio _ .” He greeted when the two of them reached her. He kept any trace of sorrow or guilt from his voice, something he hadn’t thought possible. Not when he felt like he was drowning in both. 

The dark blue alien lifted her head and spat in his face. “ _ Betrayer _ .” She sneered, angry tears running down her face. At least, if she was angry with him, she didn’t feel as afraid. Lance’s face distorted in anger and disgust, the reaction he thought the crowd would expect. He should just sit and take her anger and hatred, but he had a mission to keep. He wiped away the saliva from his face, thankful she was not of a species with an acidic variety. 

Lotor prevented any further interaction, as he turned to face the crowd of the arena. “ _ My people! _ ” He cried out, “ _ This quintent, my companion found an escaped prisoner. As she has fought in the arena before, I believe I should allow the arena spectators to decide her fate _ .”

Uvio froze in fear. He was turning her punishment into a game. Her life into a vote. She was going to die today, and it would be for the sake of entertainment. 

The Galran Prince continued, “ _ Do you wish to see her return to the arena? _ ” He paused, and low cheer came from parts of the audience. “ _ Or see her executed? _ ” The crowd roared to life, thirsty for blood. Lance’s heart dropped, but he smiled at the Prince regardless. 

He stepped forward to Lotor and asked quietly, “ _ And who will execute her? _ ” The Prince gave Lance a side glance. The corner of his mouth lifted up into a sly smile.

“ _ You were the one who found her, would you like the honor of it? _ ” Lance’s chest felt like it had collapsed. Executing? He couldn’t  _ kill _ someone. Not in cold blood. He smiled at the Prince. The smile felt hollow and fake, as his mind screamed how wrong everything was. This was murder. This was murder. This was murderthiswasmurderthiswasmurderthiswasmurder. 

**He was a** **_murderer_ ** .

“ _ I will do anything for you, my love. What weapon should I use _ ?” He asked, keeping the fondness he had maintained in bed and at meals. It was like he was asking what vegetable to use in the stew.

Lotor threw a hand signal to one of the guards at the entrance of the arena. The guard procured the Blue Bayard, something the former Blue Paladin thought had been destroyed. Lance wanted to lunge at him. The Prince had planned this  _ from the start _ . 

“ _The crowd_ ** _does_** _love a good sense of irony_.” Lotor teased, taking the bayard from the guard and offering it to Lance. He forced himself to laugh along, taking the bayard from him.

It transformed into a smaller gun than he was used to; a handgun. He smiled to himself a bit, selfishly glad to have something of his life from  _ before  _ in his possession. 

“ _ How far away? I’m afraid I have no experience in this, so I don’t know how it is traditionally done. _ ” He explained, though he knew deep inside that he was stalling for precious ticks. Someone to save him. Something to stop him. Anything.

* * *

Pidge groaned. “If we had done this scan  _ earlier _ , we could already be busting him  _ out _ now!” She cried, throwing herself on the couch. 

Hunk sighed, “Don’t get Keith going, he was  _ just _ saying the same thing about twenty minutes ago. I had to  _ drag _ him away from the gladiator.” He laughed fondly, but Pidge knew how Keith had been acting.

“Yeah, I’m just worried, y’know? We have no idea what he’s going through. I just want him safe.” She hesitated a moment, “And with us, I mean I want him back too. Not just safe.” Hunk smiled at her.

“Me too, Pidge. Me too.”

* * *

The cool handle from the gun his bayard had formed grounded Lance. He had no time left to stall, no plan to save Uvio, and nothing worth saying to comfort her. She knew what was going to happen, and there was nothing that could stop it. 

Time seemed to stop as memories flashed through Lance’s mind. His oldest brother had taught him how to shoot. He was a cattleman, and it meant he had to know how to shoot any predators trying to attack his herd. Lance was so eager to be like his big brother, he was ecstatic when he offered to teach him how to use guns. 

It was just like shooting bottles, like he had learned. He could picture it clearly. There had been four glass bottles lined up on fence posts the first day he held a gun. It was a rifle, and he missed every shot because he didn’t know he was supposed to use the small nubs to aim with. 

_ He wouldn’t miss this time _ .

The gun raised slowly, Lance barely aware of the movement. He looked Uvio in the eyes as she went through the various stages of grief. He knew what she was grieving. Herself.

When he had first held a pistol, the circumstance was much like his current one. At least, in the sense that the target was extremely close. He’d gotten the hang of firing a rifle pretty well, but one of his sisters stepped in for helping teach him how to shoot a pistol. She was a police officer, and had been professionally trained. Since their little brother had taken an interest in shooting, and showed great promise, all of his siblings went out of their way to help encourage it. 

He shot his first target with a pistol at a distance of 10 feet. Now, he was shooting his first target with a pistol at point blank.

The barrel of the gun rested directly between Uvio’s eyes, and suddenly time was back to normal. He was in the moment, no more memories to pleasantly distract him from the eyes looking up at him in pain, sadness, and  _ hope _ . After being turned in, Uvio still hoped that he would save her. The only thing he could save, though, was himself.

A shot rang through the arena, and Lance didn’t feel any better, despite the blue alien’s sorrowful gaze no longer lingering. Her eyes were something he knew would haunt him forever. The crowd exploded for him, quickly beginning a chant of his arena name,  _ Blue Betrayer _ . He deserved that name. It suited him.

He barely remembered how his conversation with Lotor went after that, but he knew he had earned the trust of many, many of the Prince’s underlings. Few people doubted his loyalty, with his vocal distaste of the Paladins of Voltron and now, innocent blood on his hands. Lotor had awarded him the responsibility of working with prisoners, too. He did remember that clearly, as Pidge’s family first came to mind.

* * *

“Good news team, we’ve completed the scan and will be able to contact the main ship within the varga!” Coran chirped. The Paladins looked amongst each other in excitement. 

“Are we doing the distract-and-hack again?” Pidge asked, first to respond. 

Before Coran could even confirm, Keith replied, “ _ No _ , we should go for stealth first. Hacking would be easier and also we don’t give away our location and the element of surprise!” 

Allura stepped forward and cleared things up, “We  _ will _ be attempting civil negotiations. We don’t know what Lotor is like from our own experiences, and if there’s even a slight possibility of Lance being returned without a fight, we must try it. As a parallel plan, we will also have Pidge hacking into their systems. If all else fails, perhaps she can shut down a few systems to help us.”

Shiro shifted and gestured to the remaining Paladins, including Allura, “And what will the rest of us be doing? Are we infiltrating during this negotiation attempt, or holding back?”

“Holding back,” She replied, “Although, if and when the Paladins of Voltron begin their attack, I will not be joining you.”

“ _ What _ .” Hunk yelled in surprise, “We need as much help as we can get. You’ve gotten better with the Blue Lion, fighting one down with no reason sounds ridiculous!”

“I admit it will put us at a slight disadvantage,” Allura began, “but I believe that it will make Lance feel better to find out that I piloted his lion in his absence  _ after _ he has been rescued, not while we are in the process of it.”

The others nodded, Hunk included, “I guess it just shocked me a bit that you weren’t gonna fight with us. He  _ does _ get self-conscious really easily. Knowing you were piloting blue might make him feel like we replaced him, or don’t need him.”

“Then,” Coran called, clapping his hands together in anticipation, “let’s make contact!”

* * *

Lance laid in bed with Lotor after their nightly  _ interactions _ . He never could fall right into sleep like the Prince could, though he imagined that had a lot to do with their enjoyment levels. Lotor was always happier, more relaxed, sleepy, and  _ cuddly _ afterwards. Lance, on the other hand, just wanted to curl up somewhere silent and alone. 

He thought of his escape plan and options. There weren’t very many, but they were increasing as time went on. Now, he had access to prisoner records and door codes. He was even allowed to walk alone places, within reason. 

The former Blue Paladin had begun to reconsider his decision to leave. It would be  _ incredibly _ difficult to do so himself. He had no place to  _ go _ to once he managed it, and he had no idea how to survive out in space with no aid. It was a miracle he had lived this long. Escaping was seeming more and more like it wasn’t even an  _ option _ for survival.

From within the Empire, however, survival was guaranteed for as long as he kept being Lotor’s companion. Not to mention, he could  _ do  _ things here. Copy information, steal records, free a few people here and there to aid the rebellion. Nothing  _ major _ , but more than being dead would help. 

He couldn’t return to Voltron with a clear conscious, though. Not anymore. Lance knew he wasn’t fit to be a Paladin. Maybe he never was to begin with. He’d like to think that he had the potential to be a great Paladin, one loved by the people of the universe that he helped protect. But he knew better now. He knew what he was capable of, and it wasn’t pretty. He was the  _ Blue Betrayer _ , capable of cold-blooded murder. Of shooting an unarmed and innocent woman dead, with no hesitation. Of going against  _ everything _ he thought he once stood for. 

He would continue to work against the Empire, but he knew now that this was  _ exactly _ where he deserved to be.

* * *

Lotor woke Lance up earlier than normal. In fact, the human man felt like he had barely managed to fall asleep before he was woken again. The Prince’s expression was not his usual lethargic one in the morning, but one of excitement. 

“ _ Quickly, get dressed, we have an unexpected surprise. _ ” He explained, just barely. Lance did as he was told and realized that he had only been asleep for about half a varga. “ _ Oh, _ ” Lotor added as he got out of bed to get dressed himself, “ _ Wear your uniform, but otherwise dress for a special occasion. _ ” Lance smiled and agreed.

Ten daboshes later, the two were walking out of their room in the early vargas of the quintent. Lance had worn his uniform as instructed, and also the jewels he knew Lotor loved on him. Blues and purples adorned his hands and ears, sparkling softly as they walked. He didn’t know what was happening, but he knew that Lotor was excited about it. He spent the walk mentally preparing himself for anything that could happen. 

Anything  _ except _ the appearance of Allura on the screen. He stifled a reaction, but barely. Surprise seeped through and Lotor touched him absentmindedly for support. 

“ Prince Lotor ,” Allura began, speaking what Lance recognized to be Altean, “ I am Princess Allura of Altea, and I would like to discuss negotiations to return the Blue Paladin of Voltron to our team. ” Lance’s heart leapt, before it sunk to the bottom of his gut. Was this another trap? So soon after being tempted into aiding a prisoner in her escape?

Lotor scoffed, “ Lance is free to leave whenever he would like. ” He turned to the human man, “ What do you say, Lance? Would you like to return to your old team? ” Lance smiled, of course this was another ploy.

With a sickly sweet smile, Lance turned to the image of Allura and replied, “ Why would I return to a team that left me for dead? ” She gasped, and Lance could hear Coran yelping in surprise.

“ Lance, you can speak Altean? When did you learn? ” Coran asked excitedly, completely ignoring what the former Blue Paladin had said. The others slowly came into view, all wanting to see their friend.

“ _ Lance! _ ” The three younger Paladins cried together, while the Black Paladin looked mostly relieved to see him alive and well. He reigned them in, just barely, and kept them from interfering with Allura’s conversation. The black Altean woman was rather shaken, both by Lance’s words and the language with which he conveyed them. 

“ Lance you can’t mean that, we came for you the moment we knew you were alive. ” She pleaded, momentarily breaking her diplomatic posture. She fumbled for her words, “ I’m, we’re, so  _ sorry  _ that we didn’t come for you sooner, please we  _ need _ you .” Lance laughed bitterly, making her flinch from the noise.

“ You need me so much that you’ve been faring just fine as the new Blue Paladin. After all, she  _ is _ the most accepting lion. Don’t worry  _ Princess _ . I know when I’m not wanted. ” He spat. The use of her native tongue still burned Allura, and she felt like that’s exactly what he was intending to do: hurt her.

She clenched her fists and averted her eyes from Lance to face Prince Lotor. Her mouth turned into an uncharacteristic snarl, “ _ Give us back our Paladin _ .” Her voice was more venomous than any of the Paladins, or Lance, had ever heard. Even Coran was taken aback. Lance refused to react visibly, remaining in his stoic stance. 

Lotor chuckled, amused by how upset Allura was getting, “ Now  _ Princess _ , ” he drawled, his tone patronizing the other leader, “ I can’t just trade my  _ companion _ like a common object. He has his own free will, and he has  _ clearly _ stated that he doesn’t wish to return to a team that abandoned him. What kind of companion would I be to him to force him to go? ”

Keith stiffened at the tone Lotor took when speaking about Lance. He hadn’t expected the Prince to take such a liking to him. Nearly shaking, he snapped, “What the  _ fuck _ do you mean, ‘companion’? Like Lance would ever want to be with a piece of shit bastard like  _ you _ .”

Lotor didn’t even bat an eye at his outburst, though it made Lance wonder why the Red Paladin was so upset. The Prince looked to Keith’s direction, unimpressed. “ I might not be the best  _ lover _ , ” Lance wanted to shy away from this conversation the moment Lotor shifted his vocabulary to further goad Keith, “ but from what my dear Lance has told me of people who once were the object of his affections, I can say with certainty that I’m not the  _ worst _ person he’s ever fallen in love with .” Lance played into Lotor’s words, knowing that it was both expected of him and that he was in a more risky situation than ever before. 

He could hurt his team seriously here. But a wrong move in supporting them or asking for help could turn the Prince against him. In which case, he would be  _ further _ hurting his team. He had to just keep this going, no matter how much it killed him inside. 

The former Blue Paladin took a step closer to the Prince and touched his arm gently, tilting his head towards Lotor’s. It was so little that it could have been mistaken for a friendly gesture, but everyone watching knew exactly what Lance was saying with the fond touches. 

“ My Prince is everything I could have asked for in a lover, and more. It was rough in the beginning, but we’ve worked through so much, and I won’t see any of you come between us. ” Lance tried to dig deep, hoping that hurting his team now would keep them from trying to save him. If they came now, when Lotor was still in between conquering systems, they would lose. He was most useful to everyone here, gathering information and staying low until a better opportunity came. 

Hurt flashed in Keith’s eyes and Lance saw Uvio’s eyes. It was like a shot to the chest, though he felt like a physical shot would have been better.  _ He was a betrayer, a liar, and a murderer. _ He kept his breathing even but he felt his throat constrict as a quiet panic attack set in.  _ He wasn’t fit to be a Paladin, he never was.  _ He fought the terrible things his mind was replaying.  _ I’m going to survive. No matter what _ .

“Lance,” the Red Paladin whispered, his voice like a dying breath, “I thought that you and I,” his voice cracked and he stopped to collect himself, “I thought we had, something. I know I was scared but you didn’t let me talk to you, what,” Lance could see tears forming in Keith’s eyes and he didn’t know if he could maintain the facade he had worked so hard to build if he witnessed those tears fall. He barked out a loud, cruel laugh to interrupt the other man before he could finish. 

“You made it  _ perfectly _ clear what you thought of my feelings, I was just doing you a favor and staying out of your sight. You don’t get to decide that you suddenly want something out of me now.” Lance snaked his hand around Lotor’s waist, pulling him against his side, “Was it guilt that made these  _ feelings _ of yours come to life? My feelings for Lotor came from his support in my darkest time. When my team  _ abandoned _ me.”

Keith was shaking, but only he, Allura, and Hunk were in sight. The others were blocked from view, bringing a possibility to light. Lance didn’t want to have to expose it, but if they refused to retreat, he would be forced to. Hunk’s eyes were glossed over, something Lance knew meant he was beyond being talked to. Guilt weighed down his chest, he had made his best friend in the entire universe shut down, emotionally. He also knew it would hit the Yellow Paladin  _ extremely _ hard once he got out of the situation causing him to be overwhelmed. He hated himself for it.

“Lance this isn’t  _ like _ you. You’ve decided to fuck some random enemy? For what, is he forcing you? Is he brainwashing you? What is he  _ doing _ to you, Lance. Just let us save you, we  _ need you _ .” Keith pleaded. His words stung more than Lance would have cared to admit, but he had several good points. He  _ was _ fucking the enemy. He  _ wasn’t  _ being forced. Not physically, anyway. Though circumstances? Definitely. But who was going to really feel sorry for him for choosing to sleep with someone because it made life easier? 

Lance brushed away those thoughts. He didn’t care who thought it made him a terrible person. It meant survival, even if it was at the cost of his privacy and soul. “I’m  _ fucking him _ because I want to. Because he’s great in the sack and I don’t know why it took me so long to come around to getting with him, but I’m just glad he was interested in me long enough for me to change my mind.” The former Blue Paladin saw Shiro come and check on Hunk, who had been unresponsive for most of the communication. 

Hunk turned to face the Black Paladin and gave a clear view of Pidge, typing away at her computer. Lance’s eyes narrowed at her, and he knew they had forced his hands. He couldn’t let them get involved. Keith, unfortunately, was making their conversation hard to get out of.

“Lance please,” he sounded so vulnerable, and the Blue Betrayer wished he had been able to hear the Red Paladin’s words in better circumstances. “I  _ love _ you.” Lance felt everything being sucked out of him. He was empty, and now he understood how Hunk felt when he became overwhelmed with emotions and shut down. It was like an autopilot switched on. Even though he had previously been trying to get them to give up on him, he had been holding back. But it wasn’t working. He couldn’t care about their image of him, or their happiness right now. Their lives were at stake, and giving up on this ridiculous rescue mission was their ticket to relative safety. 

“Now’s not really a good time to think about that kind of thing, Keith,” Lance replied, emotionlessly parroting back what he had been told so long ago, “You need to take your position as a Paladin more seriously.” Realization flooded the Red Paladin’s face in the form of anger, tears, and pain. He slumped down to the floor, just barely out of the view of the video; something Lance was thankful for. A muffled sob could be heard, and he knew that if he had seen Keith break down, it would have been too much. 

He turned to Allura, “ You and Coran are the last of the Alteans who fight against the Empire. If you’d like to prevent your race from  _ dying _ like your planet did, I would suggest leaving this fight alone. Don’t attack someone you have no hopes of defeating. ” Horror painted her face, and tears streamed down within ticks. She never expected Lance to be capable of using the death of her people against her. 

“ Lance ,” Lotor spoke, after allowing his companion to dominate most of the conversation, “ it seems you’re being unnecessarily cruel to your fellow Paladins. Why is that my love? ” Lance cut his eyes at the Prince and scoffed, not responding properly. Lotor laughed at the indignation displayed. “ I suppose it’s not fair of me to imply they’re of any relation to you. Though I must admit, you’re so striking when you’re angry. ” 

In what Lance knew was another gesture to goad his team, Lotor pulled him in for a kiss. It was soft for a tick, before the Prince’s hand found its way to the back of his head, tangling in his hair. He deepened the kiss for a show and slipped his tongue in Lance’s mouth. He decided this was a great opportunity to make his team completely give up, and also stop the intimate action with Lotor. He pulled away suddenly, to face a Prince with a smug smirk staring at the screen.

Hunk finally found his voice before Lance could. “Lance, buddy, I thought we were family. I thought we were a team. Paladins of Voltron.” His mind screamed at him to comfort his friend, to tell him it was all a farce. This wasn’t worth the pain it was going to inflict on the one friend he’d had all his life. But it  _ was _ worth saving their lives.

“ _ Family _ ,” he spat the word like it was poison, “doesn’t abandon you, and I stopped being a  _ Paladin _ the moment you  _ replaced  _ me.” He snarled, his voice gaining in momentum and inflicting more damage with each syllable. He turned to Lotor, still speaking loudly enough for the others to hear, “She’s using this communication as a channel into our systems.” He glared at Pidge, who had looked up when referenced. Her eyes were wide in realization that Lance was exposing her trick, “We need to shut it down  _ now  _ or purge the secondary outputs.”

He ignored a jumbled cry from his team about how he’s better than this, how they need him, and that they just want him back. His eyes harden and they know that he has changed for the worse. His voice is cold yet passionate for all the wrong reasons as he barks, “I have trained, bled, and  _ killed _ for my Prince.” He glared at the monitor displaying his former team, “And  _ I will not hesitate to do it again _ .” He pulled a fist into the salute the team recognized as the one Galran soldiers make and he spat, “ _ Vrepit Sa _ .”

The screen cut to black. 

* * *

Nobody from the team was able to console anyone. Hunk had barely been able to snap out of his emotional shut down when Lance went straight for his heart. It destroyed him, cutting deep and painfully. He had locked himself in his room the moment the communicator went black. Not a single person had the heart to go check on him, or the clear mind. 

Keith had been sobbing his heart out, and clutching his head. He couldn’t handle the whirlwind of emotions Lance and Lotor had sent him on. He was disgusted by Lance’s actions and Lotor’s intimate gestures, but guilt-stricken by the idea that Lance had only gone to Lotor so willingly because he had driven him away and never made it right. He was jealous of the Prince’s familiarity with Lance, and heartbroken that Lance had chosen someone else over him. A small, rational side of himself had considered that the Blue Paladin was being pressured into the relationship, but the overwhelming flood of emotions from his cruel words drowned the possibility before it could gain any traction. 

Allura and Coran had isolated themselves in an attempt to comfort each other from the harsh sting of Lance’s words, and the reminder of the fate of their planet. It became more of a joint crying time, though, as neither could find words of comfort. 

Shiro was training on the deck, hoping to pull himself from the reality of a friend and ally who turned against them. His mind wandered through the possibility of it being a farce, but he decided not to entertain the idea until his head, as well as everyone else’s, was clear. It hurt his heart when the thought came to mind that he was  _ right _ for hoping Lance was dead.

Pidge checked her computer for any information gathered, but cursed Lotor when she found nothing. Lance had exposed her just after she got into the system, and he  _ shut her down _ . She wasn’t used to being bested when it came to technology, and it felt insulting to have been bested because one of her own turned against her. She resented him for doing that to her, and for not accepting their help. At the same time, however, she resented herself for not saving him when she had the chance. At least then, she wouldn’t be dealing with someone who felt like a brother stabbing her in the back.

* * *

Lance kissed the Prince once more before they returned to their bed. “ _ I’m sorry for speaking so much at the communications with Voltron _ ,” He said, “ _ I don’t know what got into me _ .”

Lotor only smiled and insisted on another kiss. It was cute, Lance had to admit. “ _ Nonsense. It was something you had to get off your chest. They can be thick-headed. _ ”

The Blue Betrayer smiled fondly, though he wasn’t sure if it was over his team or over the Prince whose bed he was in. 

That night, he dreamt of all the beautiful eyes he brought pain and sadness into. It was not a pleasant night's sleep.


	10. Familial Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds important information, Hunk lashes out, and the team makes an important realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly didn't get this finished! It's been sitting in my docs for like three days cause I've been prepping for the hurricane. Then I finally finished it, and was ready to edit, but my internet went out! I'm between bands right now and my internet is back, so here's the chapter! ENJOY!  
> Tumblr: lightpinkthecolorofmyaura  
> Feel free to message me about the story or any other writing ideas!
> 
> Song rec: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnNclyiyPHQ  
> (Pulling Teeth by Green Day)

A turn passed, a cycle, then two. Lance’s heart couldn’t take the crushing reality that his team had believed him and given up on him, so he didn’t dwell on it. He pushed it aside, like he had managed to do with so many other things. He ignored the loneliness and feelings of inadequacy right along with his guilt and disgust. He might be a despicable and irredeemable person for what he was doing, but he would make sure that  _ someone _ was helped by it. 

Still, when he found a lull in conversation or activity, his mind would drift to the appearance of team Voltron, and how he should have done something to signal them, to get out of here. So he didn’t slow down. He threw himself whole-heartedly into the workings of the Galran Empire. He rose within the ranks, unashamed to admit that it was helped along by his Princely companion. Lance made friends and skirted around topics that could create enemies. He talked about the domination of worlds with officers and tried to imagine the planets as barren rocks. He lived, breathed, and  _ loved _ the Empire. For show, anyway. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

The more he learned about the culture and the languages, the more he fell in love with subtle things about the Galran people. The Empire was a terrible organization, but many people within it were not inherently evil. He hoped to find some support from within once he began to act.

Already, he started gathering information and hiding it away. He was given a chip to hold important documents and transport prisoner information for when he escorted them from area to area. Unknown to the command, he had swiped an extra one as well. Any document that seemed worth keeping, he duplicated onto the extra chip, and kept it hidden away in his shoe. He hoped that it would never be found. If it were to be discovered... _ he hoped that it would never be found _ .

Prisoner logs, codes, battle plans, he had gathered them all. He had gotten fleet blueprints and weapon specs, the whole works. He had even, as luck would have it, caught wind of human prisoners. The lead wasn’t solid, but he had been keeping an eye out for news like it, and he now had a starting place to look for Pidge’s brother and father. Perhaps he could still return to the team, if he had others with him. 

* * *

The team had been on a long journey to regaining their senses. The shock of having Lance turn so fully against them was nearly unbearable. Over the week following, however, each of them slowly began to come off of the emotional high the confrontation had left them with, and started thinking more about the entire interaction.

Keith was the first person to call for them all. They gathered in the common area and he stood in front of the restless group. “We have to go back for him.” He said bluntly, “I know he said a lot of fucking hurtful things but there’s no  _ way _ he said those things of his own accord. He couldn’t just  _ hurt _ us like that. We all know how much he loves this team.” His nervous energy was showing in the form of shifting from one leg to the other repeatedly as he spoke, and moving his hands around restlessly. He wanted to get through to the team, but was worried about making the right choice. If nobody else felt the same way, was it just his feelings for Lance clouding his judgement?

Pidge looked away and rubbed the back of her neck. “I-” she winced, “I want to believe it. I don’t want to think that he betrayed us like that, but how can we be sure?” She hated to argue against Keith’s words, but after how their former teammate had demonstrated his hatred for them, the team  _ had  _ to be cautious. 

Keith swallowed hard, not sure how to argue, really. He stood there, silently staring at the Green Paladin in hopes a reasoning would come to mind. Nothing did.

Hunk spoke up in his stead. “Lance has never been one to be cruel.” He said quietly. He hadn’t been talkative lately. It was different from when they thought Lance was dead, when he was irritable and short-fused. He seemed almost defeated after the interaction with Lance. “Even when we fought the Galran soldiers, and Zarkon himself, he never wanted to cause unnecessary pain. He would shoot and take them down and be done with it. He’s never been one for hurting people emotionally.” The Yellow Paladin glanced around the room at the others.

“Being held captive can  _ change _ a person, Hunk.” Shiro interrupted. He felt cynical and cruel for being the one to bring down judgement on Lance’s betrayal, but he had to make sure the younger team members fully considered the possibility of Lance truly betraying them before they made the decision on whether they would continue to try and rescue him. “We need to know if it’s worth the risk. What are the  _ real _ chances of Lance still being willing to be rescued, and of him having started fighting for the Galra.”

Hunk stood up, fists clenched. He was showing more emotion now than he had since the video call. “He doesn’t  _ do _ that. Lance being that cruel just  _ proves _ he’s still on our side. If he was with Lotor, why didn’t he beg for us to save him? Lure us in with him as bait, then have an ambush ready? C’mon Shiro don’t be so dense, you might think he is, but Lance isn’t fucking stupid.”

“ _ He was pushing us away _ .” Keith realized, saying it out loud in awe. “He was pushing us  _ away _ . He knows way more than we could possibly know. Lotor thinks he’s in love with him, that he hates us and is on the Empire’s side. It took us so long to get around to a rescue that Lance started to  _ make one _ for himself.”

Shiro ignored Keith’s epiphany and faced Hunk. “What do you mean,  _ I might think he is _ ? I have  _ never _ thought Lance was stupid.” He replied indignantly. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked pointedly at the Yellow Paladin.

“You know  _ exactly _ what I mean. I know you’re trying your best but surely you’ve recognized that you don’t give out attention or praise as freely to me  _ or _ Lance. At least I get it from you when Pidge and I are working together on something, but how often did Lance get the opportunity to have that, that, second-hand praise?” Hunk mouthed off, angry and worked up. Shiro was taken aback.

“I recognized him for all of his accomplishments on the team. In case  _ you _ hadn’t noticed, being on a team entirely of teenagers isn’t the easiest. I’m trying my damnedest to be the positive role model that all of you need.” He didn’t know what sparked this in Hunk, but it was something he didn’t want to get into.  _ Especially _ with Hunk. He’d never seen him this argumentative about something, unless he had a bad feeling about a person they met. 

Hunk took a step forward and jabbed a finger into Shiro’s chest. “Tell me, what have you noticed that Lance did besides shoot well? Huh?” He waited a moment for an answer and continued when Shiro couldn’t provide one. “He carried Pidge to bed more than anyone else, for starters. He kept Keith out of the training area after hours. He kept  _ me _ from overworking myself on projects. Did you notice how he continued to help Coran with the cryopods, despite being deathly afraid of them? Or how he never brought up saving Coran’s life, or Pidge’s life, or  _ anything _ like that, ever?” He was getting really worked up, but his tone dipped lower as changed directions, “It’s not just about the amazing things he can do, and did do. Lance made an effort to spend time with every single one of us, to make sure everything in the castle was running smoothly and we were taking care of ourselves. He cooked with me and Coran, he did ridiculous training sessions with Keith and helped Allura with all  _ kinds _ of organizing around the rooms. When you were gone? He was  _ right there  _ for Keith, despite the temper and attitude and the mood swings that came with him worrying over you. Lance has been an integral part of the team since its  _ conception  _ and you’re trying to act like you acknowledged his worth because you called him a  _ sharpshooter.” _

Shiro was rendered speechless. He never thought of Lance as anything but an important member of the team, he knew that each of them brought something unique to it, but he hadn’t realized how much the Blue Paladin actually did for the others on the team. Hunk huffed at his leader and crossed his arms. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of response, but it never came. 

“We have to  _ try, _ Shiro,” the Green Paladin said quietly, joining the conversation. “If there’s any chance at all that he wants, that he  _ needs _ to be rescued, he have to  _ try _ .” 

Shiro felt the fighting energy seeping out of him. His best friend’s little sister had already lost  _ so _ much. If there was even a small possibility, she was right.  _ None  _ of them on the team needed to lose someone else. More selfishly, he felt guilty for upsetting her because she looked so much like Matt. He never could bear to see her like this, it reminded him of every time his best friend would come back to the dorms at the Garrison. Matt would always find something or another to cry over, and it was always just as devastating for Shiro to see every time. 

Shiro took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay team. We need to gather intel on the Galra ship he’s on, and figure out a solid plan. We need to be able to get in, get Lance, and get out. If something goes wrong, and he’s not coming with us, we need at least two alternate escape plans that do  _ not _ include taking him against his will. I know you guys want him back, but if he really  _ has _ sided with the Galra, we can’t risk bringing a tracker back to the Castle.”

Grins broke out among the others. If they could corner Lance and talk to him without the interference from Lotor, they knew he would be able to tell them that he wanted to come back. It was just a matter of planning, and a matter of time. They were going to get their Blue Paladin back.

* * *

Lance quietly shuffled prisoners from a large cell to the open room that lead to the arena. He couldn’t bring himself to feel bad for them though, as he had finally managed to harden his heart. If he refused to interact with the prisoners, if he pretended they weren’t real people, it was easier to get through his daily motions. They would fight and die in the arena, but that was no concern of his. The only survival he could afford to care about right now was his own.

He noticed as he slid the chip for the entrance, that there was new data available. He sped up the process for escorting prisoners so he could return to the information without prying eyes.

Once the prisoners were in their room awaiting entry to the arena, Lance began the upload of new information onto his official chip. He would torrent a copy onto his spare later. As it uploaded, he was able to skim some of the information. Much of it had to do with mining colonies on the outskirts of the galaxy, but a few folders were regarding the resistance. He made a mental note to read further into that when he had time to spare. To his annoyance, the upload took longer than normal, due to one large file in addition to the smaller folders.

He couldn’t afford to stay near the uploading dock, though, so he left it the tick the upload had completed. It wasn’t suspicious of him to update his official chip, but he didn’t want any prying eyes to be able to come to the conclusion that he had a spare.

He returned to his room a few vargas before his evening meal time with Lotor. No sooner had his foot crossed the threshold of the room, that his performance began. He didn’t act like anything other than Lotor’s companion and confidant anywhere there could possibly be surveillance.  _ Especially _ anywhere in their shared quarters. He had been standing tall, but when he closed the door he dropped his shoulders and let out a tired sigh. 

“ _ Lotor? _ ” He called, hopefully. There was no response. He sighed again, then quietly muttered to himself, “Those damned meetings always keep him so long. I wish he would take a break every now and then.” He sat down on the edge of their bed and looked at himself. Groaning, he examined his chest and stomach. “My uniform is filthy.” He grumbled to himself. 

He stood up and began humming a low tune to himself. He undressed and put his uniform into the clothing chute, a place that would deposit the articles of clothing in a room where they would be washed and returned. He had no shame as he crossed the room stark naked into the bathroom. A small part of the Blue Betrayer wished that there was no mirrors at all on the ship. He hated his new appearance. 

Although he was darker skinned by nature and heritage, he was paler than normal because of his prolonged time away from any source of sunlight. In the dead of the summer his skin was like umber, but now after being kept from the sun he loved so much, it had faded into the barest tawny brown and become as light as his skin had ever been. He looked sickly, in that aspect, and he hated how space had taken his life and color from him. Only a single scar graced his body above his neck, and it cut through his left eyebrow. Truthfully, the small white scar was a tiny reminder of what could have been an awful end to a fight. He still had his sight, and his life. Such an insignificant mark on his face shouldn’t hurt him the way it did. 

Yet, he couldn’t help but see the single, small scar, and be reminded of the mosaic of injuries that littered the rest of his body. Scratches, bites, burns, stab wounds, and more painted the tawny brown skin on his arms, legs, chest, and back. 

He looked away quickly, unable to bear the sight of the damage he had endured. He showered for far less time than he would have at the castle, but short showers were the norm here. He was hoping to have plenty of time to himself before Lotor returned, despite his pretense of calling the Prince’s name when he arrived.

When he dried himself off and returned to the main room, he was relieved to see he was still alone. He dressed slowly at the wardrobe, a tall metal one that blended in well with the room, and set to work. As he dressed, he transferred the new information from his official chip onto his spare. Underwear on, chips connected. Base suit, start upload. Shoes, check progress. Armor, wait for completion. The upload  _ still _ wasn’t finished once he was done getting dressed, an unusual thing to happen. He knew it was due to the abnormally large file he had noted earlier, but it made him just as nervous now as it did the first time he uploaded information onto his spare chip. 

Nearly a varga had passed since he came back to his and the Prince’s quarters, so he knew Lotor should be returning soon. He was cutting it  _ far  _ too close for comfort. Rather than let his nerves show, he turned to the mirror in the wardrobe and put on a show for the cameras he assumed would be in the room. Posing, looking through other garments, acting as if he were debating trying on other items, and the like. A few daboshes of making a fool of himself in the mirror later, he saw a soft glow from the back of the wardrobe. He stopped playing around and returned the shirt he was holding. He slipped his hand down the wardrobe as he put the shirt back and disconnected the chips. The rogue chip was returned to its hiding spot, while his assigned chip he slid back into its place in his suit. 

* * *

Hunk twiddled his thumbs silently. Keith eyed the Yellow Paladin for a few minutes before finally speaking. “He won’t be mad at you. If you feel bad, just go talk to him.” Hunk hesitated a moment, then nodded.

“I just, overreacted, I think.” He admitted, looking down, then towards the door. He faced Keith again, “Yeah, I gotta go talk to Shiro.” Hunk said, as he exited quickly.

He found Shiro easily, as he was still working in the command room. He was almost hoping it would be more difficult to find the Black Paladin, so he would have more time to think through how he wanted to go about this.

“Uh, Shiro,” He started sheepishly, getting the older man’s attention. “I just wanted to say, I went overboard earlier and said a lot of things that I didn’t mean.” He hesitated, then admitted, “Well I  _ did _ mean them, but it was like, something that you, y’know, think about but then realize probably is just something you’re  _ perceiving _ wrong and it doesn’t change how you  _ feel _ but you know it’s not worth bringing up and basically I never should have brought it up.” He rambled, trying to explain exactly what he meant.

Shiro listened patiently, and answered at the first opportunity. “Hunk, you don’t need to apologize. I’ve thought about it a lot and really, you’re right. I did pay more attention to Keith and Pidge than to you and Lance, simply because I have a history with them. I personally mentored and became like family to Keith. Matt and I were close during our time as students at the Garrison and after, so Pidge became like family as well. I want you to know that I never intended to spend more time with them, but  _ I _ know that it doesn’t excuse it.”

Hunk took in Shiro’s words. He laughed a little, “Just hearing you  _ say _ that makes me feel better. I always felt bad about thinking that you were more interested in Keith and Pidge’s activities than mine.” He laughed again, as if the situation were funny looking back, “It must be so hard being the adult for us.”

Shiro shrugged, “Somebody has to do it, and I want you guys to make it through all of this okay.” Hunk smiled, and pulled him into a big hug. He muttered a thanks. Both of them were glad to have no hard feelings.

* * *

No sooner had he put the chips in their place, than the door to the living quarters was opened. Lance hadn’t counted himself lucky for many events while living with Lotor, but his timing in this circumstance was worth being called good luck. He beamed at the Prince in genuine happiness, partly from his luck in getting done in time and partly from seeing his companion.

Once he had come to terms with the fact that the Galran Empire was the best place for him to be, for everyone’s sake, Lance realized that he could be somewhat happy within it and still do good deeds for the rest of the universe. He could minimize damage as much as possible, if he gained enough trust and responsibilities. 

“ _ My Prince,” _ He called, “ _ how was your quintent? _ ” He walked towards Lotor with outstretched arms, hoping for a greeting. He was blindsided when the Prince instead barreled directly into him and engulfed him in a hug. “ _ Lotor? _ ” Lance asked, his tone dipping into concern, “ _ Is everything alright love? _ ”

The Galran man nuzzled him, staying silent for several ticks. Lance didn’t pry further, instead opting to return the embrace and gently play with his hair. “ _ It’s just, _ ” Lotor said quietly, “ _ It’s just been a long day, Lance _ .”

The former Blue Paladin directed the Prince towards the bed and sat down with him. Lotor climbed up onto him almost instantly, like an upset child. Lance hushed him just like he would to one of his nieces or nephews when they were crying. Although in this case, the Prince had yet to shed a single tear. “ _ I’m here for you if you need to talk, or if you just want company. _ ” Lance assured him, trying to comfort the Prince by stroking his head.

They stayed like that for a long time, nearly half a varga or longer as far as Lance could tell. He hummed to pass the time, and worry grew in his gut like a strangler fig, working its way up to his chest the longer it stayed. Lotor made no move to leave or speak, meaning Lance could only imagine why he was upset.

They finally broke from the comforting embrace to prepare their evening meal. It was then that Lotor found the words to explain the circumstances. He picked at his stew for a few daboshes before setting down his spoon and sighing.

“ _ The druid, Haggar. You know of her from your time as a Paladin of Voltron, correct? _ ” He began, ignoring his food completely to talk to Lance. The human man set down his spoon, mirroring the Prince’s actions. He nodded, allowing Lotor to continue uninterrupted, “ _ She is something of a, _ ” he hesitated, “ _ mother figure for me, I suppose. Honerva is my mother, but Haggar is all I have left of her. She is trying to oppose my legitimacy to the throne, and she’s using anything possible to do so. _ ”

Lance was growing concerned. “ _ Such as…? _ ” He asked, prompting Lotor to divulge more information. 

A sharp sigh escaped Lotor, “ _ My age, my lack of a union and heir. You for a companion, my handling of Voltron and of the Blade of Marmora. She doesn’t even see the merit of allowing a spy from the Blade to continue working within the Empire! _ ” Lance physically reacted, lurching forward but ultimately not moving more than that.

“ _ There’s a spy? _ ” He cried out. He was unable to react the way he really wanted to, in disbelief that Lotor  _ knew _ about the Blade’s spies. He barely filtered his reaction enough to keep it in line. Though the question he had in mind now was  _ why _ was Lotor allowing a spy within his ranks, if he  _ knew _ about them?

“ _ Of course there’s a spy. They’ve been trying for  _ **_periods_ ** _ to get one high up in the Empire’s ranks. Now that she’s there, I can easily get information from the Blade of Marmora and restrict what information goes to them. _ ” Realization spread across Lance’s face and he nodded in understanding. Lotor’s hands went up in exasperation. “ _ Even you agree, and you’re just learning of it! _ ”

“ _ Maybe she’s just concerned for the Empire? _ ” Lance said, hopefully. His face did not match up with his words, but the Prince appreciated the sentiment anyway. 

“ _ No, no, she just doesn’t think I’m capable. It won’t be too long before we show that old witch how good we are together. _ ” The determination in his eyes softened for a tick as he looked to Lance. The moment ended and he grinned, adding, “ _ I can’t wait to bring about the end of Voltron with you by my side. _ ”

Lance felt himself still slightly. “ _ After what they did, and after they tried to pull me from the only happiness I’ve found since I left my home planet, I can’t wait either. They deserve to be ruined.”  _ He was surprised at how little guilt he felt. He brushed it off as a persona he had adopted, but in the back of his mind he was concerned. Had he begun to feel internal resentment towards the Voltron team?

Lotor began eating again, speaking naturally now as he ate with his companion. “ _ I won’t let anyone take you from me, Lance. You are so important to me. _ ”

* * *

That night, Lance stayed up willingly, talking to Lotor about each of their worries and fears. He disclosed how we was scared his family thought him dead, and how he knew returning home now wasn’t an option. Lotor regaled terrible rumors that circulated about him due to his half-breed nature. They talked and cuddled, Lance admitted how he regretted the scarring on his body, and how he wished he had realized the opportunity he had been given in the Galran Empire sooner to avoid them.

“ _ Don’t fret, Lance. _ ” Lotor assured him,  _ “Many would not see you the same because of them, but I will always love you despite the marks on your body _ .” Lance vaguely recognized his words as being backhanded, but he reveled in them nonetheless.

Smiling at the Prince, he replied, “ _ You are too good to me, Lotor. I don’t deserve you _ .” The Prince did not respond, leaving Lance to consider for a tick how he really did not deserve his companion. It was a silly thought, given the circumstances.

* * *

The next several turns were rough for Lance in his efforts. He searched relentlessly for both the spy for the Blade of Marmora, and for time to properly examine the large file he had uploaded earlier. The spy was nowhere to be found.

Lance had very little to go on. She was a woman, to begin with, but he had only run into a handful of women within the ship. It was an aspect of the Galran military that he learned in one of his classes: it was common for entire ships to be mostly women or men, with a few exceptions. It made basic medical care more specialized.

The problem he ran into was that the ship he was on was a predominately  _ male _ ship. Aside from the Prince’s personal generals, there were no women of importance there. Any high-ranking women were usually transferred to a specialized ship, to better accommodate their needs, much like how high-ranking men aboard predominantly  _ female _ ships were transferred. He had  _ no idea _ how he was going to find this spy and convince her to help him without notifying Lotor. He wasn’t even sure that this was his best plan yet. 

The quintent he found time to go over the contents of the file, however, escaping once more became something of importance to him. Or, at the very least, contact with his old team. 

The file was so large because it contained the information known about all species the Galran Empire had encountered. There were thousands and thousands of records compressed into a single file, but Lance knew the one he needed to find already.  _ Humans _ . 

A quintent of sneaking peeks passed, then two, and three, before he finally found where it was among all of the other species. There were three entries for the record. Matt. Shiro. Sam.  _ Primitive scientists. _ Lance nearly leapt for joy, but kept reading on, thankful to Lotor for insisting on lessons so early on for him. 

**Matt: Young adult specimen, fair health, poor eyesight, physically weak, extremely intelligent, timid. Status: Escaped. Last sighted: Vantiq Galaxy.**

**Shiro:** **_Champion_ ** **. Young adult specimen, fair health, physically strong, moderately intelligent, rebellious. Status: Escaped. Last sighted: Voltron. Note: Galran technology, Druid Technology**

**Sam: Elderly adult specimen. Status: Deceased.**

Lance didn’t blink an eye at learning of Pidge’s father’s death. He was hyperfocused on the last sighting of her brother, Matt. He  _ knew _ where the Vantiq Galaxy was. There was a significant number of rebels hiding there that the Prince was considering raiding soon. In the back of his mind he knew Pidge would be crushed at the death of her father, but he was sure that the news of a location for Matt would ease the shock. 

Now he just had to find a way to get the information  _ to _ her before it became obsolete. 

* * *

Pidge typed away at her computer, pulling up documents about the fleet. “Well, we could possibly sneak in here, it looks like it’s a weaker spot.” She suggested, pointing out the spot to the Princess.

Allura hummed in agreement, “We’ll need to figure out a good distraction this time. One Lance doesn’t know about.” She hummed again for a moment, “One that will lead us to where he is during the day.”

“Well, we could fight some big ship off to the side, maybe?” Hunk spoke up, “Like maybe a nearby colony? Enough to get their attention but not enough to send major reinforcements?”

Allura, Pidge, and Shiro looked between themselves, seemingly discussing the idea silently.

“It could work really well,” Shiro said cautiously, “but we need to make sure that it actually gets Lotor’s attention, and Lance’s as well. I think,” He crossed his arms, “I think I know what he’s doing.”

Keith stood, defensively. “We  _ know _ what he’s doing, he’s  _ surviving  _ while we waste time trying to figure out irrelevant details.” Shiro looked like he was about to argue but Keith clenched his fists and carried on, “There’s a  _ ton _ of important things to do to make sure we get him out safely, but knowing what he’s  _ doing _ isn’t one of them! We need to know numbers,” he started holding out fingers for each point, “weapons, ship schematics, and other military specs. Now’s  _ not _ the time to get philosophical!”

Hunk set a hand on Keith’s shoulder, trying to calm him down a bit. “Keith, I wanna hear what Shiro has to say.” The Red Paladin’s shoulders slumped, and he looked away. He didn’t make any indication he was going to fight, so Shiro took it as his cue to elaborate.

“He exposed us the last time we faced them, right? Told Lotor what we were doing, and drove us away.” There were nods of agreement, and Pidge winced at the memory. She might never be able to properly do that method again because of his actions. Shiro continued, “Well if you look at the number of ships present  _ then _ compared to  _ now. _ There were nearly twice as many ships in his fleet.”

Realization dawned on Pidge’s face and she whispered, “ _ He knew we couldn’t fight them _ .” Shock registered throughout the group and they replayed the interaction through their minds. They already had the suspicion that he had driven them away for their safety, but this solidified that belief. Lance  _ had _ reacted more strongly the harder the tried to convince him to come back to them. He said lots of things they had never imagined possible, but in the context of him trying to prevent them from getting killed, it made sense. It wasn’t a surprise that Lance would do  _ anything _ he could to protect them. He’d done worse before, but in the form of physical self-sacrifice. 

Keith’s chest constricted. This  _ was _ physical self-sacrifice. He had no idea what Lotor was doing to Lance, or if he was even treating him well. 

Shiro waited another moment before agreeing, “Yeah. And I think that if we don’t prove to him somehow that our rescue plan is going to be foolproof, he’ll do it again.”

A somber air settled over them. Lance wasn’t the person who usually came up with plans, but he  _ was _ the person who could typically point out the most flaws.

“How are we going to do  _ that _ ?” Pidge asked, her voice breaking towards the end as she stressed it too much. Glances were exchanged by all of the Paladins. Coran looked deep in thought, and Keith was glaring at his feet in frustration.

“ _ We don’t. _ ” Hunk said suddenly, lifting all eyes to him. “We don’t tell him at all, we just need to capture him back.”


	11. Face-to-Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance comes face-to-face with some familiar people. Pidge has to convince the other's of Lance's trustworthiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barely edited!  
> Tumblr: lightpinkthecolorofmyaura

Three consecutive shots rang out, followed by small blasts of the targeted droids being blown to pieces. Lance aimed for a larger droid, shooting twice at it. He felt some of his frustration flowing into his target practice, but not enough.

Another cycle had passed, and he had since gained his right to carry a weapon. It was something he cherished, though not as much as his bayard. It was a powerful gun, with a nice, accurate sight on it. Lightweight but durable, just the weapon for him. He came to love it.

His frustration at his circumstances refused to wane, though, as Lotor made the decision to approach the Vantiq Galaxy in search of the rebel base. Lance never wished more than in this instance that he specialized in hand-to-hand combat. At least  _ then _ he would have been able to work off more of this frustration.

It had been so long since he uploaded the file containing information about Matt, and yet he was still in the same place he had been. He hadn’t found the spy. He hadn’t found out if Matt was still alive. He hadn’t found out  _ anything  _ of use beyond the tease of, “Last sighted: Vantiq Galaxy.” If he wasn’t careful, Lotor could demolish the base with Matt inside of it, assuming Matt was even  _ part _ of the rebellion. 

He groaned in anger and shot four times in quick succession, taking down two droids. Two shots per droid was a bit excessive, probably. Pidge came to mind, with her brilliant plans and spunk. She was ready to fight when the need arose. She was ready to leave Voltron for her family alone. She has been nothing but motivated the entire time they’ve been in space, and never once lost her cool for it. If Matt was anything like her, he knew without a doubt that he’d be in the center of that rebel base, giving them every last bit of information he had retained when he was captured.

Lance smiled as he brought another droid into his crosshairs. Maybe Matt would understand everything he’s been through, or at least refrain from judging him for it. He could still clearly picture the expression or betrayal and disgust Keith had displayed when Lance told him he had been sleeping with Lotor. Maybe Matt would even commend him for how much effort he put into gathering more intel for the rebel cause.

* * *

Team Voltron had been working tirelessly the past month or so, gathering as much information on Lotor’s ship as possible. They needed to have several backup plans, just in case. Keith wasn’t going to leave without Lance, and neither were Hunk or Pidge. Although Shiro, Allura, and Coran also didn’t want to leave him behind, they had all privately come to the conclusion that they wouldn’t lose anyone else, even if Lance refused to come back. They knew that if it came to leaving him behind, the three of them would be forced to bear the resentment of the others. 

Pidge was able to find where Lotor’s ship was headed: a small galaxy with relatively few habitable planets. It was a little bit out of the way, and nobody on the team was entirely sure why he would be going there.

They were even more perplexed when they narrowed down his destination’s coordinates to a solar system with no recorded life. 

“What if, what if he’s trying to drop Lance off somewhere and leave him to die? What if he figured out that he’s not really in love with him or maybe since we’re not trying to get him more he’s not as useful as bait as he thought he was so now he wants to get rid of him and it’s all our fault or what if-” 

_ “Hunk! _ ” The team interrupted, nearly in unison. The Yellow Paladin had been worrying himself sick for the past few hours, ever since they finalized the location of the Prince’s destination. In the absence of the  _ real _ reason why he was going there, Hunk’s mind was providing  _ plenty _ of alternatives. 

“But what if Lotor is gonna sell him into some kind of, intergalactic slave trade?” He argued, genuine concern lacing his voice.

Keith’s eye twitched as he said, “He’s not gonna  _ sell _ Lance! Didn’t you see the way that bastard was looking at him?” The memory left him clenching his fists and jaw in anger, “ _ Fuck _ , I’m gonna murder him.” He gritted out.

Allura stepped into the conversation, “We have no idea what he’s planning on doing with Lance, so it might be best to simply hit the ship before it reaches the moon.” She glanced around to the others, “There’s a small pocket of deadspace a few vargas before the moon he’s heading towards. It’s  _ possible _ that he would try to go around it, but quite honestly the pocket is rather small, and he could use his momentum to make it through with no problem. Systems would be down during this pocket, and its our chance to sneak aboard.”

* * *

Lotor called for Lance a few vargas earlier than normal. It interrupted his lessons with Navil a bit, but the Blue Betrayer certainly didn’t mind. He was teaching him more diplomatic nuances and other things Lance could probably, but didn’t really want to, use.

Grinning as he entered their quarters, he called out, “ _ Lotor? I was told you summoned me. _ ” The Prince had been standing near their bed, adjusting his armor. It was a bit out of place, heavier and more protective than his everyday wear.

“ _ Ah, Lance! _ ” He replied, turning to face his companion. He returned the smile, “ _ You need to make sure your armor is prepared. We’ll be arriving in the Vantiq Galaxy soon. After that, it’ll only be a few vargas before we reach the rebel base. _ ” Lance nodded in response.

“ _ Of course, _ ” he said, “ _ and do you have word of the forces hiding on the rebel base moon? _ ” He asked, making light conversation as he joined Lotor in inspecting his armor.

The Prince shook his head slightly, “ _ No. They seem to have gone underground the moment our fleet turned towards that quadrant of the universe. I suppose a rebellion has to be cautious to have survived thousands of years _ .”

Lance nodded in agreement, “ _ But no amount of caution can save them _ .” He added, his tone a morbid combination of amused and ruthless. 

The Galran man was silent for a tick, before a soft laugh escaped his lips. Lance felt himself flush at the sight. It was bewitching. “ _ You’re right, love. _ ” He said, “ _ They have no hopes of winning against us _ .”

They finished inspecting and modifying their armor in a comfortable silence. Lance didn’t let himself consider any of the possibilities that came with the feelings he was experiencing more and more often in regards to Prince Lotor. It was like he had already resolved; he would make himself useful or escape eventually, but in the meantime, there was nothing wrong with finding comfort or enjoyment in his time here. He  _ had _ to, otherwise he might get caught, or go mad.

Lotor broke the comfortable silence by pulling Lance into a tight embrace. He held the human man like he was the most precious thing in the world to him, as if he might break if the Prince loosened his snug hold. Lance melted into the hug immediately, not even bothering to question the sudden bout of affection. Lotor’s head rested gently on his shoulder for a few ticks, and Lance could feel warmth budding through his chest. 

“ _ Nobody could ever love you like I do, Lance. They don’t understand how much I need you here, by my side. _ ” He whispered, his tone soft and vulnerable. It wasn’t often that Lance heard Lotor like this. He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him waver on occasion. 

“ _ You don’t need to worry about that dear, _ ” He assured, “ _ I’ll be by your side for as long as you want me. You make me feel like I have a purpose in the universe _ .”

He ignored the white-hot feeling of Lotor’s backhanded words and focused on insuring that the Prince thought they got to him. 

Lotor pulled away from the hug with a small smile, and brought his forehead down to meet Lance’s. “ _ Get some rest before the fight my love. I need my victor out there with me when we reach the rebel base. _ ”

Lance mirrored Lotor’s actions, leaning into the romantic gesture and smiling back. He sighed nearly inaudibly, “ _ Yes, of course. I love you Lotor. _ ”

The Prince nodded in response, and turned to leave. He paused at the door, “ _ I love you too, Lance. _ ” He left completely that time, leaving Lance to his own devices.

* * *

Ready and waiting for an alert, Lance laid on his and Lotor’s bed and tried to avoid the festering emotions inside of him. He didn’t know how to even  _ begin _ to go about dealing with them, even if he knew that it was extremely unhealthy to try and repress them constantly. He was wearing thin, but there were times when it felt like he wasn’t acting at all.

Flashes of Lotor’s various expressions flooded his mind. He was so handsome and dashing when he smiled, anyone would sight knew that. It warmed Lance’s chest when the Prince smiled genuinely at him. It made him feel like the only person in the universe who meant something to him. Lance  _ loved _ the feeling of being someone’s top priority. 

A small knot grew in his stomach. He was being swayed by the sheer  _ attention _ the Prince gave him. Who was he to let his loyalty be bought by some gentle gazes and soft laughs? How could he possibly justify letting the feeling of being  _ wanted _ and  _ important _ take away his sense of loyalty to Voltron and to the safety of the  _ universe _ ? Lotor had the time and resources to give Lance everything he felt like he needed, his teammates did not have the time to dote on him like the Prince did.

It was wrong of him to take his position at Lotor’s companion. It was wrong of him to feel such disgusting emotions for such a disgusting person. It was wrong of him to feel comfort with the Prince. It was wrong of him to get flustered over adorable mannerisms he had, and for him to be  _ at ease at a murderer’s side _ .

Lance felt a chill flood his body.  _ No, _ he thought,  _ Lotor’s not the murderer _ . The Prince had done many things in front of Lance, with Lance, and  _ to _ Lance, but the former Blue Paladin, the  _ Blue Betrayer _ , had never seen him take the life of another being. He felt like a dagger was lodged in his chest. It hurt as he chuckled humorlessly to himself. “ _ I’m _ the murderer.” He breathed out, nearly inaudibly. 

It was a confession of the highest degree. The thought had plagued his mind countless nights, but he never had the courage to admit it to himself, not fully. He had always struggled with his self-confidence and self-esteem growing up, and now was no different. The only thing that even  _ felt _ like it had changed was that any time he had thought he disliked himself as a child seemed to be insignificant now. He was  _ sickened _ by himself. He was completely, and utterly despicable, and he  _ hated _ who he had become.

Somehow amidst his emotional baggage, Lance found sleep for a few vargas. He was visited by vague memories of his team and the Garrison. 

_ Pidge laughed at him when he asked how she could possibly be a girl. When he asked her privately why she joined the Garrison as a boy, and how she got past the physical examination, she stopped laughing. “I’ve always been openly trans, ever since I was a little kid. My parents were super supportive and everything. But when Matt went missing, I got caught at the Garrison and couldn’t be seen there looking like a girl again. I was able to enroll there and got past the physical examination  _ because  _ I’m trans.” _

_ Hunk had cried a week after he moved into the dorms. Lance was waiting on it, really. Despite how bubbly the bigger boy was, he was very  _ obviously _ homesick. He constantly talked about his moms’ cooking. Ma’s cooking was the best, but mom’s baking was the best. They complimented each other like that.  Lance cooked him a recipe that he had learned once at Hunk’s house, and it had completely overwhelmed the other boy.  _

_ Once Lance stopped flirting with Allura, the two of them would bond over silly things they found while he helped her reorganize the various storage rooms. He had to admit that he understood her hesitance when he offered to help at first, but he was relieved when she didn’t push it. He felt like saying he wanted to get a better relationship with her might have come off as a pickup line, which was  _ not _ the message he was trying to convey. Their talks got more and more familiar, with problems and insecurities and dreams coming to the surface. He treasured those days of cleaning. _

_ Training with Keith once he was aware of how  _ attractive _ the half-galran man was became much more difficult. Of course, he was always aware of how attractive everyone around him was. Allura was as beautiful as you’d expect a space princess to be, Hunk was the strongest and softest man he’d ever seen, Shiro was like a celebrity crush, Pidge was the cutest damned kid ever, even Coran looked great for however old he was. But Keith, Keith was on a whole ‘nother level in Lance’s eyes. He’d never met someone so strikingly handsome, but also with cute and awkward mannerisms like the biracial (and bi-species?) man.  _

_ He regretted telling Keith he liked him for so long. He knew that the Red Paladin wasn’t attuned to his  _ own _ emotions, much less the emotions of others. He knew that he flirted a lot, and that it was only natural for Keith to assume he was still playing around. But hearing him brush Lance off like some worn out joke hurt, so, so much. He couldn’t even  _ face _ his teammate, because he felt like if he did, it would tear him apart. _

A loud, but curt, alarm rang through his and Lotor’s quarters. He felt the memories of his teammates slip back into the back of his mind. There would be plenty of time to think of all the good times they once had,  _ after _ he tracked down Matt and escaped with him. 

* * *

The team waited on edge with the Green Lion on standby as Lotor’s ship approached the pocket of deadspace. They were only a few miles away from it, and Allura hadn’t breathed in nearly a minute. 

A low, metallic hum reverberated. Hunk groaned and slipped his face into his hands. “That’s the sound of the ship turning. They’re going  _ around  _ it.”

There was a collective reaction, with each member of the team expressing their disappointment and anxiousness in a slightly different way. 

Shiro spoke up to settle them down. “We’ll just have to catch them on the way back. Once they’ve gotten whatever they’re looking for in that system, we’ll be able to attack. With any luck, we can push them right into the pocket.”

Pidge glanced up at Keith. Like she had been hoping, he didn’t seem pleased with the idea of waiting. She didn’t make her move until after Shiro had finished addressing the group, though she had no idea what he had told them all.

“ _ Keith _ .” She said, grabbing his arm as he walked towards the training room. Shiro had stayed in the command room with Coran, and Allura and Hunk had left for something to eat in the kitchen. She spoke in a hushed tone anyway, just in case. “I want to go get Lance. Now.”

Keith nodded, “Okay, I’m down. But what about reinforcements and a plan?” He matched her tone, glancing quickly for anyone nearby.

“Same as before, but sneakier and with no backup. The others won’t want to come, but I don’t want to wait. Something bad could happen.”

The Red Paladin hesitated a moment, “Something, bad?” Pidge nodded feverently. “Like…?” He trailed off, clearly needing further explanation.

“Like they could be picking up allies. Or reinforcements. Or allied reinforcements. We need to sneak on now, grab Lance and get the hell out of dodge. Maybe kick Lotor’s ass on the way.”

“You had me at ‘grab Lance.’” He said, glancing around once more. “I’ll suit up. Meet you at the Green Lion bay in ten.”

* * *

“You have  _ got  _ to be  _ fucking kidding me _ !” Shiro shouted from the control room, gathering the attention of all the remaining team members in the Castle. They rushed in to see what was wrong. Coran had displayed the video that caught Shiro’s attention. The group got a split-second view of the Green Lion before the cloaking technology took it out of sight, and presumably to Lotor’s ship.

* * *

Lance had barely made it halfway to Lotor’s command room when he ran into people he had hoped he wouldn’t see for a long, long time. He held himself steady as Pidge and Keith ran towards him with relieved, happy grins on their faces. His heart ached, he had never seen an expression like that on Keith’s face. And Pidge, she was running towards him like his nieces and nephews from home did. But he had a role to play.

Their happy find turned sour the tick Lance brought his gun up to aim at them. It was a Galran model, and extremely intimidating when paired with his General Uniform. His appearance made them flinch back, he looked so  _ Galran _ . 

“ _ What the fuck are you doing here? _ ” He snarled. He spoke in English, but after so long speaking alien languages, his voice was garbled and harsh. He sounded like a Galran soldier speaking it, unnatural and dangerous.

“Lance we’re here to  _ save _ you, come  _ on _ !” Pidge urged, braver than Keith in continuing to walk towards him, albeit much slower than her original pace.

Keith was suddenly apprehensive. The harsh words Lance threw in their faces the last time he saw them flooded back into his mind. Lance bringing up the dead Altean race. Lance saying he hated the team for leaving him for dead. Lance saying Keith’s feelings didn’t matter. Lance saying he was  _ fucking the Galran leader. _ Keith shook himself from his swirling thoughts. He forced himself away from the emotional response, and towards how he had reasoned out that Lance probably didn’t have much of a choice, even if Lotor gave him the  _ illusion _ of choice.

Lance’s eyes never shifted, and he didn’t so much as budge his aim, which was still clearly on Pidge. “I’m finally somewhere where I can be useful, don’t take this away from me.”

Keith’s chest was set ablaze. “ _ Fuck you _ . You’re not  _ useful _ here, you’re being fucking  _ used _ . Lotor’s parading you around like a goddamned  _ trophy _ and you’re  _ letting him do it _ .” His chest rose and fell rapidly, “Who the fuck even  _ are _ you anymore?”

Lance’s eyes slowly moved from Pidge to Keith. “I’m the Blue  _ Betrayer _ .” 

A tick passed.

There was silence.

Then, faster than either Paladins could react, their former teammate jerked his weapon in Keith’s direction and fired once. A direct hit to the Red Paladin’s right shoulder. Keith screamed in pain and anger, directed at the person pouring salt into all of his wounds simply by refusing to come. Pidge was frozen in fear.

Her eyes darted from Lance to Keith and back several times, before finally resting on Lance. “Wh-why?” She whimpered out, taking a step back. Her legs gave out and she tumbled backwards, utterly confused and betrayed. She never thought Lance was capable of doing something like this, and it hurt her deeper than she ever imagined. Even when he pushed them so far over the video, it didn’t feel real like this.

Lance knelt down to where the young girl was on the ground. She squirmed, trying to scoot backward. He brought his gun into clear view, the movement making a faint clacking noise. She was frozen once more.

Lance’s eyes dart left and right before his entire expression softens. He spoke quickly and softly, so only the younger girl could hear him. “Pidgeon, you gotta trust me. I’m close to finding your brother. Your father is dead. Lotor knows about a spy, but I don’t know which one yet. She’s high in his ranks, though.” He takes a breath and glances around once more, “Now you have about two daboshes to shock me with your bayard and drag Keith’s sorry ass out of here. He’ll be fine but he needs a pod. I promise I won’t radio for help until those two daboshes are over.”

Keith started getting to his feet to come to Pidge’s aide, his bayard already a sword and drawn. He looked hurt and angry, beyond the injury Lance had just given him. Pidge glanced at Lance, completely torn between attacking, running, and begging him to come home. He words were tucked away in her memory, but only the last part processed. She hesitated too long.

Lance’s softened expression turned back into a snarl, like a flip had been switched. He stood to face the approaching Red Paladin and snapped, “Don’t come for me again, you’re ruining  _ everything _ .” He shot Keith’s bayward from his hand, earning him frightened and surprised expression. He didn’t want to see Keith afraid of him, but he  _ had _ to have them leave, now, or everything would be ruined. “ _ Trust me _ .” He breathed, just loudly enough for Pidge to hear him.

Filled with determination and a renewed sense of trust in her teammate, Pidge drew her bayard and made contact with Lance’s ribcage, just under where he had raised his arms to aim at Keith’s weapon. He groaned in pain as her small bayard shocked him. He remembered the first time she did it, and although the memory was pleasant, the experience was not. At the time, however, he felt that the pain was certainly worth it.

His lips curled into the faintest of smiles as he crumpled to the floor, barely able to see as Pidge grabbed Keith’s arm and pulled him out of his view. Keith had grabbed his bayard on the way, and just as quickly as Lance had seen his friends, they were gone again. He was able to briefly wonder if they were even his friends anymore before he knew he had to get up and find the nearest communicator.

He groaned again as he stood up, the damage from the harsh shock still affecting his muscles and breathing. He shambled down the hall, the only thing on his mind being Keith, Pidge, and how he deserved so much more pain for everything he had done.

* * *

Disappointment was like a heavy cloak in the room as Lotor stood, watching the video clip from Lance’s encounter. As the ticks passed, Lance’s mind was rushing as he tried to formulate the best way to explain the situation to Lotor. How would he describe his actions to prove he wasn’t being deceptive? How could he twist the video to fit the picture he needed to show him? How could he still come out unscathed?

Time rushed too fast and before he knew it, Lance was face to face with a blank and emotionless face. Lotor was unnerving, but Lance had nothing to hide. Or so he tried to convince himself. Lying was easier if he could convince himself that the lie was the truth, after all. 

“ _ Why did you not kill the Red Paladin _ ?” Lotor asked, voice unwavering. 

Lance’s heart lurched, “ _ I have seen the Red Lion attack viciously when its Paladin was on the brink of death. I was hoping to wound him and slow him enough for me, or the guards, to capture him. _ ” He had to think as fast as he could speak, no, faster.

“ _ Why did you speak with them _ ?” He asked, giving Lance the distinct impression of an interrogation. Lotor’s unresponsiveness was giving him chest pains. 

“ _ I let my anger get the best of me, I wanted to hurt them, to cut deep where it pains them the most. _ ” He explained, a clear vision of what happened in his mind. He knew the version he wanted to portray to the Prince.

“ _ Why did you not shoot the Green Paladin _ ?”

Lance hesitated for a tick, before replying, “ _ I must admit that was from a fault of my own. She is small and child-like, and when she first ran towards me, she reminded me too much of the children in my family for me to shoot her. _ ” He carefully cast his eyes down and dipped his head in shame. Lotor gently placed his fingers on Lance’s chin and brought his gaze back to him.

“ _ Do you wish to return to Voltron _ ?” Lotor asked, his voice finally expressing emotion. It was lower than normal, but left Lance with the feeling that it was not true emotion, but a calculated change in tone. Either way, Lotor seemed like the prospect of Lance wanting to return would break his heart.

Lance smiled softly and answered without hesitation, “ _ The only reason I would return to that team would be to take it down, once and for all. I do everything for you, love _ .”

Prince Lotor seemed satisfied with the answer and pulled Lance into an embrace. The reassuring hug went south after that, as Lotor initiated kissing and fondling. Lance took himself out of his mind as Lotor took it farther.

* * *

A varga and a half later, Lance and Lotor returned to the main part of the ship. Lance ignored a true, but ultimately ugly and vulgar comment thrown at them by a soldier. Lotor, on the other hand, simply grinned back at the commenter.

Lance hated how Keith’s words reverberated in his mind. He  _ knew _ he was a trophy to Lotor. He didn’t have to be  _ told  _ that. He  _ knew  _ he was being used. He  _ knew _ Lotor didn’t love him. He  _ knew _ so much more than everyone from Voltron expected him to, and it was one of the reasons why he  _ knew _ he was starting to doubt his own loyalty to his team. He hated himself for his assurances to Pidge. He’d told her to trust him, but he didn’t know if he could even trust himself.

The siege on the rebel base was ridiculously fast. There were a few casualties, but Lotor simply captured most of them. Lance was both relieved and concerned. If he captured Matt, then finding him would be much easier. Unfortunately, that would mean that Matt would be at the mercy of Lotor and the arena. Lance had to find out  _ quickly _ and try to save him from that risky fate.

Lotor walked among the prisoners with Lance at his side, inspecting them as if they were valuables to trade. It sickened Lance, though nobody but he knew. Among the brightly colored aliens of various shapes, sizes, and shades, a head full of messy, golden brown hair caught his eye. He waited for a good opportunity.

When Matt was about five prisoners away, close enough for it to be normal to notice but not too close that Lotor noticed him first, Lance nudged his companion slightly.

“ _ Yes, Lance? _ ” Lotor asked, leaning over slightly for an easier conversation with his shorter partner. 

“ _ That human over there, _ ” he gestured towards Matt, “ _ Looks similar to the Green Paladin. Perhaps we should question him _ .”

Lotor hummed and followed Lance’s gesture to the young man with an uncanny resemblance to the youngest Paladin. He nodded, and snapped his fingers in the direction of the nearest guard. 

“ _ Grab him and bring him to the solitary cell _ .” He ordered, giving Lance a feeling of uneasy satisfaction.

* * *

 

Team Voltron gathered around Keith as he healed in the Castle’s pod. Discussions began as they waited for their teammate to heal completely. Pidge relayed the message Lance had given her and used it to support his innocence.

“I have to admit, he’s scary good at playing Lotor, but I  _ trust _ him. He’s on our side and he said he’s even found Matt.” She finished, opening up the floor for questions and discussion.

Shiro felt uneasy about the whole situation, “So he found out about Matt, but not Sam? That sounds a bit odd.”

Pidge winced. “He, uh,” she cleared her throat. “He did mention my dad. But, it’s too, it’s too late.” She blinked away tears, “He’s already gone.”

Shiro’s uneasiness caught in his throat and he nodded, numbly. He didn’t have any words after that. 

Allura glanced at Keith, still healing in the pod. “Why would he shoot Keith though? I thought the two of them were quite close.”

“I think,” she started, venturing off into her own speculations, “he’s trying really hard to prove to Lotor that he’s trustworthy. Can you imagine what kind of info Lotor has about Lance and Keith? We’ve been to several galaxies that mistook them for partners.”

The Princess nodded knowingly, “Prince Lotor doesn’t seem to be the understanding type. He’s probably a very jealous lover. It might have been for both Lance and Keith’s safety to have Lance become so hateful towards him.”

Pidge nodded in agreement. “But he also said there’s a spy. Can you contact the Blade of Marmora for any spies in higher ranks? Lance said she was a woman, but he wasn’t sure who.”

Allura knitted her eyebrows together, “There are several spies, from what I understand. Why would he bring that up unless--oh no,” She gasped in realization, “Lotor knows about a spy? Does he control information going to the Blade? Oh no.”

Their sudden concerns were overridden by the sound of the healing pod opening up. Keith stumbled forward, still half conscious. 

“ _ Lance _ ,” he breathed, glancing around and trying to bring himself out of the cryo-induced slumber. “He’s not  _ here _ .” He muttered, his eyes watering.

Pidge stepped forward and threw her arms around her friend. “We’re closer. And Lance is doing a lot of solid work, he’s making the best out of a bad situation.” She assured him.

Tears trickled down Keith’s cheeks, an unfamiliar and uncomfortable sight. His frame was shaken as he bit out a soft sob.

“I just want him  _ home _ .”

 


	12. Prisoner Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes a plan, but Matt would rather piss off Lotor. Is it really a good idea for either young man?

Shiro and the team gathered to discuss Lance and his newfound position as an inside man. There was a general air of uncertainty as they approached their former Blue Paladin. Everyone  _ wanted  _ to believe that Lance was still on their side and that he had their best interest at heart. As time continued on, however, their faith in the young man they once called a friend began to wear thin. 

Pidge stood firm in her conviction, however,  _ insisting _ with utmost certainty that Lance was still the same person who loved them and wanted to protect her and the rest of the team. After Lance had spoken to her, she was certain that everything he did  _ with _ and  _ for  _ Lotor was a farce to get more information out of him and to survive. Keith, on the other hand, had finally been disillusioned.  

The Red Paladin had spent the night in the healing pod, and it had given him plenty of time to reevaluate his and Lance’s relationship. He had dreamt all night of Lance’s return, and how their relationship would progress and blossom with his new appreciation for the Cuban man in his life. The dreams of love and trust were corrupted by none other than his own memories, unfortunately, as whispers of sweet nothings transformed into shouts of hatred, and loving touches erupted into fighting and shots firing. Pain had seared in his shoulder, something he had never experienced while being healed. It was like a seed of doubt had been planted weeks ago, and he had just been given all of the necessary items to see it bloom. 

Lance had  _ shot _ him. He couldn't come back from that fear. Someone he had let into his walls and past every defense he had created for himself was responsible for putting him in the cryo-pod for nearly 10 hours. Lance wasn’t the kind of person to just hurt someone he cared about. It meant that either he didn’t know Lance as well as he thought he did, an alarming thought, or that Lance had changed drastically, and for the worse, during his time with Lotor. 

Either way, it tore Keith up inside to see Pidge still so trusting of their former teammate, despite the fact that he had put her  _ current _ teammate in a healing pod for a serious injury. Just a few inches and the shot could have been fatal, if Coran was correct. Maybe next time he would even resort to hurting  _ Pidge _ .

His heart broke for the love that he knew could have been between him and Lance, but he refused to dwell on it. Not when the other man had so clearly made himself an enemy, and not when he had the rest of the team’s safety to think about.

* * *

Blurry figures passed back and forth in front of the prisoner. He was extremely irritated by his inability to see his captors, especially since he had spent the last several months at a base with the facilities to make him glasses to correct his vision. Despite the intense emotion he felt towards not knowing what was going on with the unfocused room around him, the man refused to speak.

He still listened and felt for anything that would clue him in, though. He might not have been  _ fluent _ in the wretched Galran language, but he understood most of what was being said. His attentiveness, however, caused the people before him to switch to a dialect he could  _ not _ understand. By the sound of it, a much older one.

* * *

“Lotor it’s possible he can’t see us.” Lance explained, gesturing vaguely to the other human. He felt a bit awkward speaking in the ancient Galran tongue, now that he was fluent in the Common Galran language, but he and the Prince had realized very quickly that their prisoner was able to understand their conversation. “Humans often wear glasses or other ocular enhancements to improve their vision. Considering he follows movement, I’d say his vision is pretty poor.”

Lotor hummed for a second before quietly calling for a guard. He returned a dabosh later with a cloak. “Let us test this, then.” He resolved, tossing the cloak to an empty corner. The man’s eyes didn’t snap over like Lance had expected, but he and Lotor did notice them slowly trail to where the cloak had landed. A tick passed and the man’s gaze remained there. Another passed, and he still did not move.

A guard shuffled his feet together to fix his stance, making the slightest noise as his shoes scuffed against the floor. The prisoner’s eyes slowly shifted over to the origin of the noise. Lance raised an eyebrow at Lotor.

The Prince conceded with his hands raised, “You were right, he does have poor vision. It’s even possible he’s the same creature my father captured far from your little homeworld, love.”

Lance let himself consider Lotor’s words for a moment, “I remember that mission. It was a huge deal because the entire world thought those pilots died in space.” Lance cut his eyes back at his friend’s brother. “They were the first humans to ever travel so far from Earth. We had hoped to learn so much from Kerberos.”

The final word set the prisoner off; he struggled against the restraints that held his arms above his head, stuck in place for fear of injuring his shoulders. His face contorted and flushed in anger.

Lance smiled. He knew aliens didn’t know the name of Kerberos. Perhaps it wasn’t the  _ best _ way to let the other human know that he wasn’t alone, but it was the easiest. Maybe he wouldn’t take Lance as a traitor.

* * *

Matt seethed in white-hot anger. He couldn’t understand everything that was being said between the two vaguely dark purple-suited figures in the room with him, but he  _ clearly _ heard the name of his mission. None of the aliens he had encountered thus far had even used Earth terms, save for the name of the planet itself, and hearing a very familiar phrase ignited hatred and anger anew. 

He refused to speak, still. Even as the two chatting figures left, and several others came and switched with still more, he sat in silent contempt and yearning to find out what was happening.

Of course, he  _ knew _ he was captured by the Galran Empire again, but he  _ didn’t _ know who had taken him or where he was, or even if anyone from his base had escaped. By the  _ stars _ he wished someone got away and was looking for him. 

* * *

Lance entertained the Prince for far longer than normal that evening. Playing it off as excitement over his and Lotor’s first joint victory, Lance initiated far more contact than he normally did. Lotor didn’t seem to mind at all, and instead absolutely  _ relished _ in the attention and affection Lance gave him.

* * *

Vargas later, Lotor was curled up in bed and more content than Lance had ever seen him. He  _ almost _ felt bad for the Prince. Perhaps in another life, and in another situation, he could have genuinely come to love the Galran man. In this life and in his current situation, however, he could only feel conflictions of vague and clouded affection among a sea of resentment and hatred. Some of which was directed at himself, he would admit.

Still, as the Prince lay sleeping in their shared bed, Lance couldn’t help but look fondly at him. He truly was handsome, it was such a shame in Lance’s mind that he was a cruel and manipulative bastard. Without another thought, he slipped away into the hall.

Dodging the guards when he didn’t look out of place and when he knew their entire ship’s layout and guard schedule was almost  _ too _ easy. He felt confident for the first time in a long time, and it was entirely due to the fact that he had been captive for so long. He would have laughed at himself if he weren’t afraid of alerting someone of his presence.

He was able to successfully get into Matt’s cell without being seen or heard. He was lucky that Matt was considered physically inferior, or there might have been a guard posted.  _ Thank god for poor vision and small builds.  _ He thought briefly. 

Inside the cell, he could finally get a good look at Pidge’s older brother. It was nice to be able to see the eldest Holt child, even if he did feel a bit weird observing a chained and sleeping man. He was concerned about waking him up without making a scene of it. 

Gently, he shook the restrained man. “Matt,” He whispered, “Matt you’ve gotta wake up buddy I need to talk to you.” His eyes slowly opened and before Lance could react, he jerked his head back and slammed his forehead into Lance’s. A muffled shout escaped his lips, followed quickly by, “Jesus  _ fucking _ christ that hurt.” He whisper-yelled, “I’m trying to fucking get you  _ out _ , would you  _ chill _ for a second?”

It was clear that Matt couldn’t see Lance, as his eyes bore right through him. The general direction was clear enough for him, though, as he spat at the younger man, “You think I’m going to fucking believe you just because you speak English?  _ Newsflash  _ asshole, you’re not the  _ first _ alien I’ve encountered who had a fucking universal translator!” His face was distorted into an ugly sneer, which rested into an angry expression. A pang of homesickness hit him, the kind he had for the castle and his team.

“You look just like Katie when you’re mad.” He said softly. Matt’s eyes twitched slightly, the expression seemingly unwavering. “She and I went to the Garrison together. Although, I thought she was a boy at the time, but that’s kind of a long story. She goes by Pidge now.” He laughed quietly to himself and watched Matt’s expression. The sneer had left his face and all that remained was a glare. “She cut her hair, and she wears glasses now, and she’s looking for you. Jesus Matt you don’t know how  _ relieved _ I am to have found you. Pidge is going to be so happy to see you.”

Matt hesitated for a tick, “She won’t.” He said quietly, his voice wavering. He dipped his head. Lance waited for an explanation but he gave none.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lance emphasized, “She  _ will _ be. She almost left  _ Voltron _ to find you. She loves you so much and she fucking needs you right now, what do you  _ mean _ she won’t be?” 

Silence.

“I-” Matt’s voice cracked, “I don’t know if I can face her without dad. She doesn’t kno-”

“She does know.” Lance interrupted. He knew that Matt probably hadn’t had any time to grieve, but he also knew that  _ now _ was not the time, either. “I told her.”

“What?” Matt asked, the weakness in his voice waning as the topic shifted to Lance, “How would you know about my dad?” Lance hesitated. “How do you know about Voltron? Who even  _ are _ you?” Lance was bombarded with questions he wasn’t prepared to answer.

“I’m, I’m a friend. Trust me, Matt I’m going to get us  _ out of here _ .” He tried to reason, but Matt started rustling around in his restraints and making noises.

“Fuck  _ you _ , how high up is your spy in the Blade? Who  _ sent _ you, bastard?” He grunted and yanked on his cuffed, making his hands red and a loud noise. Lance could hear a guard approaching.

“I have to go.” He said, quickly glancing out and mapping his way back in his mind, “First thing tomorrow. I’m getting you glasses. Please. Don’t let them know I was here, we  _ have _ to keep this a secret or they’ll kill both of us.” He pleaded, slipping out of Matt’s cell before the other man even had time to process what had been said.

A guard showed up right after Lance left. He asked in a gruff voice, through a translator, “What’s the noise?” Matt hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he should believe the stranger who refused to even give his name. At least, he considered, staying silent until he got his vision back would be fine. 

Matt rattled his constraints again, “I’m  _ uncomfortable _ .” He whined, dragging the word out just long enough that he knew it would be unpleasant on the ears of someone with a translator. “Let me sleep in a real fucking bed.” He demanded. 

From around the corner, Lance couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the sound of someone who reminded him so much of Pidge.

* * *

“Pidge would you  _ stop already _ .” Keith snapped, his breathing heavy. “For god’s sake he fucking  _ shot me _ . Less than a year ago the guy told me he fucking loved me and then he goes and shoots me? I lost three and a half  _ pints of blood. _ Do you know how close that is to being fatal? You’re too smart  _ not  _ to!” He ranted, his concern for his friends fueling the anger, “We  _ can’t  _ keep giving him second chances or he’s going to fucking  _ kill _ someone next time.”

A sharp slap rang out in the room. Hunk had just barely walked into the room to see what the yelling was about, and came in just in time to see Pidge slap Keith square on the cheek. 

Tears ran down her face and she pointed a finger at his chest, “You don’t get to do this to him. You don’t get to do this to  _ me _ .” She jabbed him with her finger, “You wallowed over him for weeks when we thought he died, and you kept wearing his jacket, and now that he hurt you and  _ let us get away _ , you’re going to turn your  _ back _ on him?” A bitter laugh fell, its sound unnatural from Pidge, “I’m glad you thought he was a joke. Better for him to have a heartbreak then than to have someone he loves doubting him like this now.” She shook her head, voice gaining in momentum, not even noticing Hunk’s approach, “You say that you’re  _ so _ upset because he betrayed your  _ feelings _ ? How do you think  _ he _ feels? It’s been  _ so fucking long.  _ We’re not any closer to getting him back and we were  _ right there _ when he was taken.”

Hunk rested a hand on each of their shoulders, interrupting the conversation. He sighed and pulled them both in for a hug. “I know you guys are both hurting, but you  _ have _ to see why you’re both hurting. It’s not fair to say that the other person  _ isn’t _ , just because the way they’re hurting isn’t the same as you.” He pulled them apart a bit and looked at Pidge, “Pidge, c’mon, Keith doesn’t open up to people often and you  _ know _ how bad it hurts for someone to turn around and knock you down after you let them in.” She winced, and slowly nodded. Hunk turned to Keith, “And buddy, you can’t act like just because Lance attacked you, he hates all of us. If he’s really being held captive by Lotor and he’s still on our side, then you  _ know _ Lotor is keeping him under a tight watch. What do you think would have happened if Lotor found out Lance was helping you, or if he caught him in the middle of an escape?”

A lump formed in Keith’s throat, but Hunk’s continued pause implied he was expecting an answer. He tried to swallow the painful sensation but it did nothing. “I,” He choked out, his voice failing immediately, “I just, I’m so confused, guys. I’ve never felt  _ so much _ for one person, and now he’s gone, but then he’s back, but he’s not  _ really _ back and he shot me. I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never dated or been in love and it just hurts so  _ fucking much _ , I’m scared for him, I’m scared  _ of  _ him. I-” A small sob escaped Keith, surprising his teammates. They hugged him closer.

“Why are you scared of him, Keith?” Pidge asked, her voice small. She hadn’t realized how Keith was feeling, although she was sure that’s  _ why _ Hunk cut in.

He cast his eyes down, “I’ve never been at the barrel of his gun before. He was so, so, resolute. I thought he was going to kill me.” He put his hands in his face, and mumbled from beneath them, “And then he shot me and got close to you, Pidge.” He looked back up at her, “I know you love Lance and you trust him, but Jesus Pidge you were so  _ terrified _ before he spoke to you. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and I thought he was  _ threatening _ you. And then when I started moving closer to you he got that, that  _ face _ again. The cold, Galran expression and he was, I thought, I just knew that he was going to hurt you and I got so, so scared. I can’t lose you guys.”

It was silent for what felt like hours, even Hunk wasn’t sure how to react. The minutes ticked by, and the three younger Paladins finally calmed down from their emotional high.

Hunk was the first to speak. “It’s not going to be easy,” he said bluntly, “but once we get Lance back on the team, I know the two of you will work things out and go back to being friends and teammates again.”

Keith smiled sadly at the Yellow Paladin, “But, that’s not what I want.” He looked down, “Even now, after feeling so hurt, I don’t want to be  _ just _ his friend.”

Pidge felt herself wince. “That one might be harder, for both you  _ and _ Lance.” The Red Paladin nodded his head slightly and she added reassuringly, “But you guys will work it out, I  _ know _ it.” 

* * *

The Blue Betrayer awoke next to the Prince, and he felt lighter than ever. Lilac colored hair tickled his face and he opened his eyes to see the smooth, purple skin of his companion. He allowed himself some curiosity as he trailed the red eye scales that marked Lotor as part Altean. He had only seen Allura’s and Coran’s, neither of whom would probably allow him to touch theirs. He wanted to know what it felt like.

Lotor’s skin was smooth, but the eye scales were rigid. Perhaps, like their name suggested, they were an actual scale. The Prince shuddered under Lance’s touch, surprising them both. Suddenly awake, Lotor grabbed his hand and snatched it away from his face, making him flinch.

“ _ It’s impolite to touch someone’s markings without discussing it first. _ ” He explained. His tone was irritated, but not angry. Lance flushed in embarrassment, he hadn’t considered that he shouldn’t touch the other’s face.

“ _ I’m sorry. _ ” He said, shrinking into the bed as much as possible. Lotor’s irritated expression remained for a tick before he sighed and let a small smile appear. 

“ _ Don’t worry, we’ll discuss it later tonight _ .” He said suggestively. Lance grinned at the Prince, internally worrying that he started something he didn’t want to finish. The Prince sighed, “ _ But first we must take care of our new  _ **_guest_ ** _.”  _

The two ate their morning meal with a comfortable chat. During it, Lance told Lotor stories of his past pets. He expertly avoided as many questions about his family as he could, changing the subject, skirting around it, or answering as nondescriptly as possible. To keep from being suspicious from avoiding talks about Earth, he simply didn’t. He talked and talked and talked about useless things from Earth. Thankfully, Lotor hadn’t considered the possibility that Lance  _ could _ know something useful to begin with.

They dressed and headed out for the quintent’s plan. Lance followed a step behind Lotor, close enough that their relationship was evident, but still far enough behind that  _ his place  _ was also evident.

“ _ You said his vision was poor, correct? _ ” Lotor asked, referring to Matt. Lance nodded quickly. “ _ That will be our first task then, getting it to acceptable levels. He cannot hope to give information regarding the rebellion without seeing things clearly. _ ”

Lance nodded, but caught himself. “ _ My Prince, we must be careful though. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, humans can be quite resilient. You must take care that he doesn’t try anything underhanded. _ ”

He saw a glimpse of an irritated scowl on Lotor’s face before the Galran man turned back to him with a smile instead. It almost made him doubt that he had seen the nasty expression, but he knew from experience how flippant Lotor could be with his emotions. “ _ Lance, do you doubt me ability to take on a single human? I know you remember the last time you attempted it. _ ” His voice started out with a patronizing tone, but soon dipped into a more venomous one. Lance felt his shoulders pull forward into an involuntary cower. Despite his hatred for Lotor, he was still  _ scared _ of him. 

“I didn’t-” Lance winced and lowered his head. He had spoken in English accidentally, and quickly remedied it, “ _ I didn’t mean it like that, Lotor. I meant that he might look unassuming now, but it could be simply because he hasn’t had a chance to show fighting ability due to his lack of corrective lenses. _ ”

Lotor held his haughty glare at the human man for a tick or two longer before melting into a relaxed smile. “ _ You are  _ **_so_ ** _ adorable when you worry, my love. Don’t concern yourself with it, though, I’m the best fighter in the quadrant. If he causes too much trouble, I’ll just end him and be done. _ ” Lance mimicked Lotor’s relaxed smile, even though he could feel panic welling up. 

Everything he knew about Matt dictated that he  _ wouldn’t _ be the fighting type. But everything Lance had known about  _ Pidge _ before they left Earth dictated that  _ she _ wouldn’t be, either. The Holts could very possibly be a scrappy bunch when push came to shove, and he wouldn’t even know it because Matt refused to speak to him last night. 

As Lotor left for a meeting with a specialist, Lance took the opportunity to try and convince Matt to speak with him again.

* * *

“What the fuck do you want, traitor?” Matt sneered at Lance, the moment he stepped into the cell. It was a bit of a shock, considering he  _ knew _ Matt had terrible vision.

“What? How did you know it was me?” Lance stopped, “And what do you  _ mean _ traitor?” He snapped, irritated that his only other human contact was being an ass to him.

The chained man scoffed, “You’re the only fucking thing on this godforsaken ship with skin that looks _human_ how the hell would I _not_ know who you are?” He asked, sarcastically. “And you’re a fucking _traitor_ , that’s what I mean, working with these fucking pricks who _enslave_ and _murder_ _entire civilizations_.” 

Lance shrugged. “I’ve been here for several months and you know what?” He hesitated a tick before continuing without an answer, “ _ Fuck _ you.”

Matt was taken aback. This younger man had been trying to convince him to believe and trust him just the night before, and he saying fuck you to  _ Matt _ ? “What th-”

“ **No** .” Lance said, his voice decisive. “I have had to sit and do  _ whatever _ I was told for the past 6? 7? I can’t remember the months. I know  _ alien _ shit now. And I’ve even lost count of  _ alien _ time. I’ve slept with a goddamned prick for most of that time and I’m pretty sure my entire team hates me now. The  _ last _ thing I need is my friend’s brother, and possibly my ticket back into my team, to refuse to work with me.” He gained in momentum, his pitch increasing drastically as he became frenzied but his volume remaining low enough not to arouse suspicion by outsiders.

Matt shifted in his chains, “I didn’t, I” He heaved a deep sigh. “Man, this is  _ so _ fucked up.” He hung his head for a few ticks before rolling it to the side and laughing awkwardly. “I never considered that you were a prisoner too. I guess your cell is just more comfortable than mine.”

Lance blinked. If he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn’t expecting Matt to cave and believe him so quickly. He certainly didn’t want to take this for granted. He shook his head and chuckled to himself, “We’re getting out of here bro. Soon. I have an idea but I  _ need _ you for it. We have to be quick, careful, and lucky.” He paused, and nodded his head, “ _ Really _ lucky.”

* * *

 

“What do you  _ mean _ you know that Lotor has been monitoring information through one of your spies?” Allura snapped, anger radiating from her as she faced Kolivan. They had finally confronted the Blade regarding Lance’s word that Lotor knew about a spy.

Kolivan shifted uneasily, “He found out about one of our spies, and in an effort to preserve her position and life, we decided that she would stay as a double agent. He monitors the information given to us, but we also monitor the information given to  _ him _ .”

The Princess tugged anxiously on a lock of her hair, “You’ve got to be  _ kidding _ me. What’s the  _ point _ of her still being there then?” She couldn’t grasp the usefulness of a spy whose information was monitored.

The Galran man had a pained expression. “There isn’t  _ technically _ a use. I will admit we’re in a bad position when it comes to her status. Her life is what’s the point. And, to some degree, the secrecy of the other spies within the Empire. If he thinks she’s the only spy then he won’t go looking for others.”

Allura crossed her arms in frustration, “And will she pose a threat to Lance? Is she going to interfere with a rescue? Will she turn him in if he’s doing anything against Lotor?” The unsure expression on Kolivan’s face made her huff angrily. “ _ Well _ ?” She insisted.

The man hesitated, the blurted, “I, I don’t know! We haven’t had contact with her in several turns and quite frankly we’re flying blind right now.”

* * *

Axca and Ezor walked with Lotor as he made his way down to his prisoner’s cell. Along the way, the small trio found Lance, who had been visiting with Navil. 

“ _ Heya Lance~! _ ” Ezor greeted, excited to see him. She felt like it had been cycles since she last saw him, even if it had really only been a few quintents. 

“ _ Lance. _ ” Axca said cordially, nodding her head in acknowledgement. Lance nodded in response to both of them. He was glad to be on better terms with Axca, despite her first impression of him being a concubine, for lack of a better word. 

Lotor took notice of his companion last, to Lance’s displeasure. “ _ Lance, your timing is perfect. We were about to go see the prisoner. Ezor has the enhancements needed for him.” _

“ _ The glasses _ ?” Lance supplied. Lotor nodded, and he fell in step with the Prince and his two generals. Ezor grinned at him and gave him a quick thumbs up.

When they reached Matt’s chamber, the other human man struggled at their entrance. Lotor became visibly irritated immediately, but Lance placed a hand on his arm gently.

“ _ Let me, my prince _ .” He turned to Matt and spoke in English, “Hey there, my name’s Lance. I want to help you out, you just have to tell me your name.” 

Axca cut her eyes at the two humans, unimpressed. Ezor regarded them with curiosity, and Lotor was merely apprehensive. None of them knew what to expect, but they would trust Lance on the possibility that another human would be trusted more easily. 

“ _ Matt _ .” He whispered out, “My name is Matt, but I can’t, I can’t see anything Lance you have to help me.” Lance wanted to laugh at how different Matt’s voice sounded now. It was broken and hoarse, like he had fought and fought and had nothing left. A small, bitter voice told him that he should know  _ exactly _ how it felt to have a voice like that.

Lance smiled, coming closer to Matt and even touching him gingerly to inspect for injuries. “Don’t worry, I can help you. I even got you some glasses so you can see better.”

At Lance’s gesture, Ezor procured the glasses that Lotor had gotten made for Matt. Lance turned to him and carefully placed the glasses over Matt’s face, pushing them up his nose softly and brushing his hair out of his face for him.

Matt smiled and looked at Lance for the first time. “Thank you, Lance. Glad I could see the face of my  _ savior _ .” Lance felt his face heat up a little.  _ That _ certainly wasn’t part of the plan, it sounded almost like  _ flirting _ .

“Uh, I,” He stumbled a little, looking back to Lotor for reassurance. Lotor’s face was hardened into an unreadable expression. The sight made Lance feel like he was walking on thin ice, and he had no way to gauge how thin it was. “I’m Prince Lotor’s companion.” He explained, though he was sure Matt already had heard word of this, “Which is sort of like, boyfriend but for Galra.” He felt like his words were rushed as he ventured into unknown territory.

“A  _ Prince _ ?” Matt asked, feigning disbelief. “I wish I was a prince, so I could snag a guy like  _ you _ .” Lance’s face was positively red now, and he knew for sure that his new ally was deviating from the plan.

“S-stop that.” Lance said, his voice sounding almost like a whine. He hated how Matt was making fun of him like that. “This is a serious situation, you’re being held by the Galran Empire and you need to stop treating it like a  _ joke _ .” Confusion swept across Matt’s face.

“I  _ know _ it’s serious, and so am  _ I _ .” He smirked, throwing a quick wink Lance’s direction. The Blue Betrayer let out a squeak of surprise and his gaze darted to Lotor. His expression had slowly transformed into a sneer, with his eyes locked on Matt. The other man was looking right back at him, with a smug smile on his face, blatantly challenging Lotor.

This was  _ not _ the plan Lance had discussed with Matt, and it was  _ pissing _ him off that he had the gall to stray from it and make fun of him like this in the process. Despite his chained status, Matt still found a way to defy everything. He turned his head to Lance and grinned.

“Hey handsome, do yo-” Matt started to say, but was cut off by an angry grunt. Before Lance could react, Lotor had grabbed his arm roughly and dragged him out of the cell. Lance looked back at Matt in a panic. Regret and fear swirled in his expression as Lance was forced away from him. He had meant to irk Lotor, yes, but the anger displayed was  _ much _ more than he expected. 

Lance grabbed at Lotor’s tight grip on him with his free hand, but it did nothing to stop the quick pace the Prince had set towards their quarters. He struggled to keep up with him, and yelped every time Lotor turned a sharp corner. He felt like a ragdoll being yanked around.

“ _ Lotor, please,” _ Lance cried, “ _ Did I do something wrong? I just was trying to- _ ” he was cut off abruptly as they arrived at their quarters. Lotor slammed on the pad near the door to open it. “ _ to help _ .” he finished weakly. 

Lotor paced the quarters anxiously. Lance had never seen him like this, and quite frankly it scared the hell out of him. He made a move to comfort the Prince, but wasn’t able to even take a step before the Prince held out a hand, halting him. 

“ _ What am I to do with a companion who will leap at any sexual advance _ ?” He asked, his tone vicious and accusing. Lance flinched back, as if Lotor’s words had physically harmed him.

“ _ What do you mean? He was out of line but it wasn’t sexual, and I didn’t leap at anything! _ ” Lance defended, his voice much softer than Lotor’s angry one.

A nasty sneer contorted the Prince’s face as he said, “ _ He’s been a prisoner for a long time, and hasn’t seen a fellow human in even longer. Don’t think for a second it could have been anything but sexual. _ ” The sneer shifted into disgust as he waved a hand at Lance, “ _ Look at yourself. You think because he showed interest that you could find someone other than me? _ ” Lance dipped his head and shook it slowly. “ _ Of course not. He’d want  _ **_any_ ** _ human he found at this point. You’re just a  _ **_convenient_ ** _ target for him. Don’t let yourself be swayed by his words. I’m the only one who could  _ **_ever_ ** _ love you like I do. Nobody else would be so accepting of your traitorous, scarred, and tainted self. _ ”

Lance almost wished that Lotor’s words stung like he had expected them to. Instead, he voiced his response, “ _ I know, Lotor. I was simply surprised that anyone would speak like that to me. Thank you for explaining why he would, it makes much more sense now. _ ” He looked up at his companion and smiled softly, “ _ I don’t know what I would do without you, I love you Lotor. _ ”

Lotor nodded, and replied, “ _ I love you too, Lance. Don’t forget that. _ ”

* * *

That night Lance wanted to die. Every touch made him feel like the pain of being a prisoner would never end. Every thought revolved around the things that kept going wrong. He was captured. He provoked Lotor. He chose to become his companion. He didn’t ask for his team’s help. Lotor put him in the arena. Lotor hurt him. Matt didn’t cooperate. He couldn’t fight back anymore.

Rock bottom had never felt like this before, though Lance considered that it could be that the stakes were much higher than any other time he had hit it. No matter what it felt like though, no matter how Matt went with his own plan, or how much hell Lotor put him through, Lance knew one thing for sure.

 

He was sick and tired of Lotor’s kind of “ _ love _ ”.


	13. Mixed Signals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's getting confused by all of these visitors, and threats are abound. He seems to be on everyone's bad side, but is there even a good side on Lotor's ship? He learns some interesting things about Lance. Lance, on the other hand, is fast at work planning his way out. 
> 
> Back at Voltron, they get something interesting from the depths of space, and Shiro gets something off his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I realized after chapter 12 that I was spelling Acxa's name wrong. It's aCXa, not aXCa. Also I don't know how to edit individual chapters so I just have to deal with this now and forever)
> 
> I just wanted to say that I love all of the comments and support I've gotten for this fic! I don't say much about it because I'm usually updating so late at night and forget to mention it in the AN, but some of these comments are absolutely AMAZING. I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying the story and that you think it's a good representation of the conflict Lance and the Voltron team would be feeling!
> 
> Thank you again for all of the comments, they mean the absolute WORLD to me!

With each passing quintent Matt grew more and more concerned for the well-being of the only other human he’d come into contact with since his father’s death in the work camp. There were subtle reminders that Lance was alive--glimpses of him passing in the hall near his cell--and even more _blatant_ reminders of what Lance’s place in this ship was. Each quintent that Matt saw Lance, he was displayed in a slightly different way.

The first quintent after he pulled his stunt to anger Lotor, he hadn’t seen the Blue Betrayer at all. The _next_ day, however, Lance had been in the most casual attire Matt had seen anyone on the ship in. A fitted navy blue shirt that came down to his elbows, with a crew-cut neckline that put his neck on full display. Lotor had smirked back at Matt when he noticed his stare, and he _knew_ the Prince was taunting him and humiliating Lance on purpose. Purple and blue hickies littered his skin, mirroring the dark circles under the former Blue Paladin’s eyes. Matt briefly wondered if Lotor had given Lance black eyes, but his lethargic movements implied that he had just not slept well the past couple nights. It made Matt _angry_ , but also incredibly _guilty_.

He had listened to Lance’s plan and agreed that it was a solid, possible one. He was going to pretend to bond with Lance over various frivolous Earth things, and they would act as if he had been swayed over to the Empire from Lance’s friendship. The former Blue Paladin had even given Matt as much useful information about how to approach Lotor as possible. He loves being at an advantage. He likes it when he’s right. He likes if you know he’s stronger than you. He’s easily angered. He can only understand English. _He’s easily jealous_ . That final tip was what made Matt interested. He wanted to make Lotor _seethe_. Anything to make the sadistic bastard feel something like the turmoil Matt had been through.

The self-centered idea of revenge backfired spectacularly as Matt watched, quintent by quintent, as Lance was paraded around with hickies and flinches because of _him_. He could see the fear in his small mannerisms. Hands clasped together to give himself comfort, touching Lotor to calm him down before anger could escalate into violence, enduring every backhanded compliment and rough touch for the sake of not rocking the boat.  

This kind of personality shift bothered Matt. This wasn’t the man who _demanded_ cooperation a few quintents ago for an escape plan. This wasn’t the Paladin who took down Zarkon, or the Blue Betrayer who became a crowd favorite. This was a meek, scared boy doing everything in his power to appease an abusive partner.

Matt felt sickened by his actions. Lance had _reasons_ for his actions, but he had made life much harder on the other man for no reason other than petty, empty, _self-satisfaction_.

* * *

Lance was exhausted. Every waking tick with the Prince felt like he couldn’t even breathe without Lotor wanting to see the configuration of the air he inhaled. Lotor felt _threatened_ by Matt’s advances, which baffled Lance. The Prince of the Galran Empire was just that: A Prince of an Empire. The Galran man wasn’t above using scare tactics, manipulation, and brute force to get his message across, so Lance couldn’t see why he felt threatened by a single, unassuming prisoner.

Nonetheless, he was dragged the long way around the ship every morning just so Lotor could flaunt him on his arm near Matt’s cell. He considered it the Prince’s method of reminding both him _and_ Matt where Lance belonged.

The Prince’s behavior had started to shift the past few turns, but Lance hadn’t really noticed it until Matt’s stunt acted as a catalyst. Suddenly Lotor was far less civil and loving, to the point where it seemed as if he didn’t care at all what Lance thought of him. He was more abrasive, more forceful, and spoke more biting words. Lance knew what was happening, but he wasn’t in a position to do anything about it. This was something both he _and_ Lotor knew.

He had given up any hopes of a rescue from his former team by shooting Keith. He had made his side perfectly clear and Lotor no longer had a need to _sway_ him through kind words and gentle actions. He was _stuck_. Lotor could act however he wanted now, and he was already taking more and more liberties each passing varga.

After a long turn of acting as Lotor’s trophy, though Lance knew that he’d actually been his trophy for far longer, the former Blue Paladin was finally able to slip away to see Matt once again. The tick he walked into the cell, he watched as Matt’s eyes lit up. He was no longer being chained to the point of immobility, but he was still connected to the floor by a heavy metal chain on his ankle. The way he jumped and dashed up to Lance reminded him of how Pidge would get excited over things.

“ _Lance!_ ” Matt said, relief flooding his voice, “I’m so happy to see you, are you okay? Lotor’s a real prick isn’t he? I mean it was my fault too but he’s the one who _did_ it and I’m sorry for making it worse but you’re okay and that’s what matters the m-” His fast-paced chatter lasted for several ticks before he noticed the expression on Lance’s face. The frenzied monologue stopped mid-sentence and he sat back down on his bare board of a bed. He dipped his head and looked up at the other man with guilt-ridden eyes. “I’m _so_ sorry, Lance. I really am.”

The Blue Betrayer’s face remained stoic and unwavering. “I’m not mad at you, Matt.” He said. Matt’s eyes widened and he nearly smiled, but Lance continued, “I’m mad at myself for thinking you could be _trusted_ to help me with _my_ plan.”

He felt a slight twinge of satisfaction as the smile that had started on Matt’s face melted away into shame and regret. “I have done nothing but fight the entire time I’ve been here. I fought in the arena, and I’ve fought his manipulation. I’ve fought against my own terrible thoughts and against Lotor himself. He’s beaten me down, physically and emotionally, and I’ve stayed here, _fighting_ . I’m a shitty excuse for a paladin, and have no place as a defender of the universe, but _this_ isn’t my place either.”

Lance felt his voice escalating, “ I’ve done everything I’ve needed to do in order to _survive_ , and you’re in here treating it like a god damned _joke_ !” He stopped, realizing he had nearly shouted the last word. He took in a single breath and evened out his tone and volume. “I’ve been by _myself_ for this entire time. I have survived _by myself._ And I _singlehandedly_ kept Lotor from sending you off to another fucking work camp. When I found you I thought that I wouldn’t have to be by myself anymore but now I know better. I’m going to escape _by myself_ as well.”

“Lance, no, I didn’t _mean_ to treat anything like a joke.” Matt defended himself, “I just, fuck Lotor is such a terrible person I just wanted to, to get _back_ at him somehow.” He ran his hand through his hair and apologized once again, “I’m sorry for making it worse on you. Hurting you was _not_ my intention. It was just-”

“I was just the easiest means to an end.” Lance interrupted, venom dripping from his words. “You saw me as Lotor’s weakness and you _exploited it_ . You saw me as just a way to piss Lotor off, and you thought that playing with my _emotions_ was the best way to do it.”

“No!” Matt cried, standing back up. With both men on their feet, it was clear that they were near in height and build. “I just was trying to, I just wanted, I didn’t mean to _do_ th-”

“But you **_did_ ** .” Lance spat. Height and build meant nothing, only one of the two men had _presence_ . “You didn’t _mean_ to hurt me but you _did_ . You didn’t _mean_ to use me, but you _did_ . You didn’t _mean_ to act just like Lotor, _but you did_.” He bowed up at Matt, snarling down at him as he shrunk more with each word. Finally Matt fell back onto his makeshift bed, realization sinking in.

“I’m sorry, Lance,” He whispered, his chest aching with a guilt he couldn’t shake. “I want to _help_. I can do this, I won’t stray from your plan again, I swear it.” Lance took a step back.

“There _is_ no other plan. That was the best I had and now Lotor doesn’t want me _near_ you. We can’t do it anymore, an interaction where we’re “bonding” would just set him off. I meant what I said. I’m planning this escape _alone_.”

Tears welled up in Matt’s eyes, “Lance _no_ , you can’t leave me here! He’ll kill me if there’s nobody to stop him. I have to see _Katie_ .” He felt himself panicking at the thought of Lance leaving him alone. He had been a prisoner before, yes, but now Lotor had singled him out as a rebel and as the sibling of a Paladin of Voltron. It was completely different and _not_ an experience he wanted to fully explore.

“I’m not a _monster_ . I won’t leave you behind when I make my move.” He explained, “But you will have no part in planning, fighting, or executing the escape. You’re going to sit there and do _whatever_ Lotor tells you to do. If he tells you to jump, you ask how high. Don’t give him _any_ information about the rebellion, or Voltron. You’re just the Green Paladin’s brother. That alone should be valuable enough to secure your place as a bargaining chip.”

Matt winced at having his value being based solely on someone else. He opened his mouth to argue, but the glare coming from the Blue Betrayer made him think twice. He could fight, he could plan an escape, but more importantly, he could think for himself. He _knew_ he had a slim chance of making it out of Lotor’s fleet alone. He _knew_ Lance was in a much better position for planning an escape and actually succeeding. So he nodded.

* * *

A Galran woman was Matt’s next visitor. She held her head high and gave Matt the impression that she was a no-nonsense kind of woman. Her uniform indicated a high rank, and Matt realized she was one of the women who came with Lotor when he brought glasses a turn ago.

She looked at him with disdain and spoke curtly, “What role did you play in the rebellion?” Matt blinked. This was an interrogation? She certainly didn’t seem like someone for intimidation, but as her eyes bore into him each passing tick he remained silent, he felt the need to speak.

“I, I wasn’t. A role, I mean. I was just someone they freed from the Empire.” He fumbled along his words, but remembered what Lance had said. _He was just Katie’s brother_.

She narrowed her eyes and Matt heard another person enter. Whoever it was stayed behind the purple woman. “How many were on the base we captured you from?”

Matt blinked. He felt the urge to tell her the exact number--something he knew. “At least twenty.” He settled on, acting confused while fighting the unexplainable urge to reveal useful information. “I don’t know how many exactly, but I knew about twenty people personally. They bunked with me.”

The woman speaking nodded slightly, and Matt could see what looked like a reptilian tail poke out from behind her. It was out of place, as the woman was a deep purple, but the tail was lighter and _bluer_ in color. She cleared her throat and the tail popped back behind her.

“What kind of _weapons_ did you see?” She probed, shifting her questions from an angle of assuming he was part of the rebellion to an angle where he was simply a witness.

He shrugged, “I only ever saw people fighting with sticks. Like, staffs. They were really good though?” He offered, almost more a question than a response.

The General sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. She stepped aside to reveal a reptilian Galran woman, the source of the tail. “Narti, did he seem to be lying?” The woman tilted her head but made no verbal response. “Yes I suppose that’s to be expected.” She responded, somehow able to understand the slight gesture. She turned to Matt again. “I’m done with you, I’ll be leaving now.”

* * *

A tall, extremely muscular woman visited next. While the first woman seemed more humanoid, and her companion seemed more reptilian, this new woman had fur like a full-blooded mammalian Galra. Her colors, however, were something he had only seen in Galran hybrids. He was a little intimidated by her stature.

“Do you know how to blow things up?” She asked, her voice demanding an immediate answer.

He nodded quickly, “Yeah, some things, but nothing too big.” Not the answer she was looking for, but not the _wrong_ answer, her face crumpled into an angry pout.

“Will the rebellion recover quickly from this attack?” Matt blinked. He was a bit surprised that the direction of her interrogation went from blowing things up to a strategic one.

“I-I don’t-”

She slammed her fist against the wall without hesitation, cutting him off. “Don’t fucking say that you don’t know. Give me a real answer, you _coward_.” He flinched from her reaction and answered more decisively.

“Yes.” He said, “I heard that they’ve been around for almost as long as the Empire has so they have to be able to regroup quickly to keep their foothold.”

The woman hesitated before grinning. “I like you. I hope the Prince keeps you.” Matt smiled weakly, feeling vaguely insulted at the thought of being ‘kept’. “The name’s Zethrid. Don’t you forget it, runt.”

She left without another word and Matt was more confused than ever. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he felt like Lotor was up to something.

Lance rested his face in his hands as he studied yet another planet’s culture with Navil. He had to admit that he really enjoyed the company of the Galran man, he was someone Lance wished he could consider a friend, but his mind was elsewhere. He had heard of what the generals were doing, and he understood immediately. He only hoped that Matt did, too.

The generals were going to be interrogating him, each separately and with their own methods. He was especially concerned with how Matt would fare against Ezor. He knew firsthand how charming and easy to talk to the Galran woman could be. If Matt could keep his story straight, they would be fine. If it deviated….Lance hoped Matt could keep his story straight.

* * *

Matt had hoped his interrogations were over, but it was only about a varga of solitude before he received his fourth visitor of the day. He groaned as he watched a bubbly, colorful woman bound into the room. She giggled at the sound and examined him curiously.

“I’m Ezor. You know Lance, right?” She asked, tilting her head to the side as she approaching him cautiously. She was brightly colored, but mostly red. And far friendlier than the other three officers that had come in earlier.

“Uh, yeah, he’s the other human right?” Matt responded, a bit confused by her tone. His response made her beam at him, clasping her hands together in excitement.

“Oh that’s _wonderful_ .” She replied excitedly, “I’ve known him since he got here, but I’ve known _about_ him for even longer. I really love talking to him.” She was pacing the room slowly, but stopped and cut her eyes slyly at Matt, “And he’s far more intelligent than he lets on.”

Matt furrowed his brow, “What do you mean by that?” The entire time he had interacted with Lance, he was _pretty_ forthcoming with his plans and that _he_ knew more than _Matt_ did.

Ezor grinned, “You know how he found out about your father’s death, don’t you?” She asked rhetorically. “The Prince has been giving Lance some small jobs, here and there, such as keeping track of prisoner rotations sometimes. He downloaded files, as per protocol, and also made himself a,” She winked, “personal copy.” A giggle escaped her lips and Matt suddenly felt like he was being circled by a predator the more she paced the room. “He found out about your father’s status, and _your_ location.”

He didn’t know what Lance was saying about these things. Surely that wasn’t something he had told Ezor, unless he trusted her. Had she been following him? Tracking him? Or was she an ally? “I don’t know anything about how your files work here. Earth technology isn’t as fancy.” He tried to walk the fence on it, not leaning one way or the other.

“Oh, but surely you know _how_ he was able to become trusted enough to handle prisoners.” She said, allowing him to brush it off. Matt’s confused expression urged her to continue. “He killed one. An innocent, sweet woman, by the name of Uvio. Lovely woman, just barely an adult with her whole life ahead of her.”

Matt flinched away from Ezor. “No. There’s no way.” He said simply. Lance had a temper and could be an ass from what Matt had seen, but he was a Paladin of _Voltron_ and they didn’t _do_ that kind of thing.

_I’m a shitty excuse for a Paladin, and have no place being called a defender of the universe_. Lance’s voice rang clearly in his mind. What had he done to make him feel so guilty? What was something irredeemable for a Paladin of Voltron to do?

“I watched him with my own eyes,” Ezor supplied the answer. “He told her how to escape, just like he’s planning on doing with you, and told Lotor where she was going.”

Matt shook his head furiously. Lance wouldn’t _do_ that to him. He was Katie’s brother, and his only way back to Voltron. Did Lance even want to _go_ back to Voltron? Did Lance even _know_ or _care_ about Katie?

“When she was captured, he took his Paladin bayard and shot her. Right between the eyes. He didn’t flinch, or look away, or even show remorse.” She watched the emotions flicker through Matt’s eyes. “Of course, I don’t even know if he’s _planning_ on telling you how to escape. Has he mentioned it to you?” Matt hesitated. “Cause, you could live your life in a work camp and work your way to freedom, but an attempted escape is a death sentence.”

Matt remained silent. He couldn’t believe her. She was trying to get him to say something he shouldn’t. Ezor hummed quietly. She seemed to be thinking of something, until realization spread across her face.

“I know!” She said, her face lit up, “He hasn’t gotten a chance to fight since he killed Uvio. Maybe he’s stirring things up with you in order to get a chance to get back in the arena.” She laughed lightly, “If that’s the case, I could just ask Lotor to put him back in the arena for a few quintents to break him out of his boring routine.” Fear settled into Matt’s gut. He didn’t know where she was going with this but he knew that he didn’t want to go into the arena and he doubted Lance did, either. “So which is it?” She asked.

“Which is…” Matt’s eyes darted around the room, he wasn’t sure if he had missed something important from the conversation. “Which is what?” Ezor sighed, half-amused.

“Is he trying to escape _with_ you, or is he trying to stir up something interesting?” She had a mischievous gleam in her eye. She was setting him up for failure and he _knew_ it. She was seeing if he would say what would benefit _him_ or what would clear Lance’s name.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stumbled out, “I was trying to irritate your Prince guy because he has me chained up, so I hit on his companion and that’s all I know. I don’t even _know_ Lance beyond the fact that he’s the only other human I’ve seen in over a year.”

Ezor nodded slowly. She leaned in uncomfortably close to Matt, until her breath tickled his ear. “You stick with _that_ . Lotor is coming in next. You had _better_ be prepared to convince him of it.Lance needs an ally. One he actually _knows_ is his ally.” Then, without warning, Matt watched the colorful woman literally vanish from before him.

He nearly thought that she was a hallucination, until he heard her footsteps as she exited properly. Her vanishing act had been a demonstration of how she knew so much, and how she was able to keep it under wraps. He had only heard her leave because she _let_ him hear her. He felt shaken by this possible ally, mostly from the possibility that she was playing him _and_ Lance.

* * *

Like Ezor had warned, Lotor was the next person to walk into Matt’s cell. He wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or nervous at the sight of the Galran man. Neither emotion seemed appropriate to display, so he grinned instead.

“I’m _really_ popular today. First three of your officers come in, and now you? I’m sure you’re far too busy to be dealing with little ol’ me.” Lotor kept his expression impeccably neutral, except for a slight twitch Matt could see in his right eye. He wasn’t sure _why_ he was able to get under Lotor’s skin so much, but every fiber of his being relished in that ability. Regardless, he knew he had to keep his desire to piss the other man off in check, or he could be endangering both Lance _and_ his best chance at escape, again.

“I don’t have time for your ridiculous lines. Tell me what I need to know and I’ll leave you to rot in peace.” He said curtly. Without waiting for a response, the Prince narrowed his eyes at Matt and began asking, “What is your relation to Voltron and Lance?”

Matt hated the idea of cooperating, but Lance’s directions were clear: Do whatever Lotor asked him to, unless it involved revealing actual, useful information. “I only recently learned about Voltron but I’ve heard word that my sister is the Green Paladin. I haven’t been in contact with her since I left Earth. I literally just met Lance a week ago, when you guys gave me glasses” Lotor sneered at the mention of his glasses.

“Don’t _remind_ me. I have half a mind to take away your eyes altogether for looking at _my_ companion like that.” Matt put his hands up defensively and dipped his head slightly, like he had seen Lance do so many times in response to Lotor’s anger. “Why are you interested in _him_ ? What gives you the right to even look at something of _mine_ ?” Matt took note of how Lotor spoke about Lance, and it made him _pissed_. He didn’t let it get the better of him, not this time.

“If I’m being honest,” Matt shrugged, “I’m not. I just knew you would get mad and I wanted to rile you up.” Lotor’s anger faltered momentarily, then he narrowed his eyes at Matt.

“What are you planning? There’s no hope of escape, and Lance won’t leave with you. He knows he _needs_ me, and he knows that there is _nothing_ left for him anywhere else. I’m the only one who would even _have_ him at this point.” Lotor’s words were ice cold razors, leaving Matt thankful Lance wasn’t around to hear them. Even still, with the sentiment directed at someone else, he couldn’t help but feel like Lotor’s words were cutting him, personally, deep. Just what had this Galran bastard been putting the former Blue Paladin through?

“I haven’t even _seen_ anything from this fucking ship except this cell and your sorry ass.” Matt snapped back, “I fucking _wish_ I could escape and with the shitty way you’re treating your so-called ‘companion’, I _wish_ I could bring him along with me. But that’s never gonna fucking happen because you’re a controlling, manipulative, abusive _bastard_.” He had stood at some point during his anger-fueled response and gotten in Lotor’s face.

Outraged by Matt’s burst of confidence, Lotor bowed up and took a step forward, despite Matt only being a few inches from him. The human man faltered backwards and Lotor stomped down on the chain connecting Matt’s ankle to the floor. He slid his foot back and yanked Matt to the ground in one fluid movement. Before the human could even register that he needed to get _up_ , the Prince was crouched next to him. He gripped the front of Matt’s shirt roughly and snatched him upwards. Scared and reacting without thinking, Matt’s hands flew to Lotor’s grip and struggled to break it.

The Prince held fast, and tightened his grip. “Should I find out that you have so much as _spoken_ to _my_ companion, I will personally come in here and slit your throat. The only thing that has kept you alive thus far is your connection to Voltron. If you step out of line, if you _look_ at Lance the wrong way, that connection will no longer be worth your life.”

* * *

Lance spent several vargas that quintent devising a plan that was nearly _flawless_ , in his opinion. The basic idea of it was simple and had only taken him a about ten daboshes to fully plan out, but the rest of his time had been dedicated to creating responses to anything he could think of that could change or go wrong. The only thing he had left to sort out before Lotor returned was how to get Matt and himself at the starting point of his plan.

A  sharp knock rang out and Lance slid his information chip down into his shoe as quickly as possible. He picked up one of his books he had borrowed from Navil and waited for the visitor to enter.

The last person he expected to walk through his door was Acxa, who had a _very_ determined look on her face.

* * *

The team had been waiting on the Princess for several minutes when Coran offered to go see what was keeping her. The others regarded one another with hesitation. Although Pidge, Keith, and Hunk had undergone some bonding the past few days, Shiro seemed reluctant to even broach the subject of their former Blue Paladin.

“I wonder what’s keeping the Princess so long.” Shiro wondered aloud, hoping to break the silence and ease the odd mood of the room.

Pidge began eating first, too hungry to bother to wait. “I wonder what’s keeping _us_ so long.” She said, between bites. She watched as the light expression on Shiro’s face dropped.

“Pidge,” He warned. She quirked an eyebrow in response. “Don’t start this tonight. We’re going to enjoy our dinner to the best of our ability and continue to try and create a plan _tomorrow_.” Hunk and Keith looked at each other, then promptly decided not to get involved.

The Green Paladin set down her spoon, “Then when _should_ I bring it up? You never want to talk about him, and you barely contribute to rescue planning!” She snapped.

Shiro sighed heavily and shook his head slightly, “I’m doing the most I can, Katie, but Lance doesn’t seem to _want_ our help. How much can we help him without potentially ruining any plan he’s created for himself? What can we do without possibly endangering your _brother_?”

The mention of her real name only irritated her futher. “Okay, so you don’t want to ruin his plans. But why have you avoided talking about him _at all_ ?” She barked back, expertly avoiding the conversation about ruining Lance’s possible plan with another rescue attempt. “Why do you leave the room, or change the subject _every_ time he comes up?”

Shiro glanced around at the younger Paladins. Although Hunk and Keith had remained uninvolved, their side was clear. He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment and finally caved, “He’s not going to be the _same_ .” He snapped. “I know you guys are hoping he’s fine, we _all_ are, but he’s not going to be able to just settle back into normal. He’s been through a lot, probably more than we know yet, and you can’t keep building expectations for him that he’s never going to be able to meet.”

Soft footsteps kept a response from being formed, though Pidge wasn’t sure she _could_ respond to that. Instead, Allura’s voice, laced with confusion, asked, “Am I interrupting something? I received something important.”

Nobody responded, so she pulled up a portable holoscreen to show them the message she received.

 

**Expect Visitors Soon**

 

The team felt a chilled silence settle over them. Allura hadn’t mentioned a sender, which mean they had tried to hide their identity, or at least their location.

“The signal is difficult to trace, so I’ll need Pidge and Hunk’s assistance with this. After dinner, of course you haven’t eaten in several hours.” She seemed more energetic than usual, the message gave her the distinct impression that Lance would be coming home soon.

Hunk stood suddenly, not touching his food, “No, I’ll get to work on it now and Pidge can meet me after dinner. She’s better with the hacking but a head start is better than no start.”

Pidge, halfway through her food because she began eating before everyone was there, scarfed down a few more bite and called with food still in her mouth, “I’m comin’ too!” She rushed after Hunk’s retreating back, leaving the others to their food.

Keith sighed and grabbed two plates of their food goo and started walking after the excited geniuses. “Hunk skipped lunch because he was focused on some invention, so he needs his food.” He explained as he left the adults to themselves.

Shiro waited until all of the younger Paladins had left the room before he turned to Allura and Coran. “I need both of your honest opinions.” He said seriously. “How likely is it that this is a signal from Lance?” The Alteans glanced at each other nervously.

The Princess took a breath and quietly replied, “About a fifty percent chance. The very little tracing the Castle _could_ do without additional help narrowed it down to several galaxies, one of which being the galaxy Lotor’s fleet was last sighted in. Additionally the signal type is one Lance could possibly have access to. It’s a very common and traditional signal. One that’s been around since the start of intergalactic travel.”

Coran smiled softly at the Black Paladin. “I know you’re worried about the others getting their hopes up, my boy, but they need this hope. They’re still very young and haven’t dealt with this loss very well. They _need_ something to strive for. It’s not impossible, so we should let them pursue it. If we’re lucky, maybe it really _is_ from Lance.”

Shiro rested his face in his hands, “I’m just so worried for them all. How do I support Lance _and_ Keith, Pidge, and Hunk when I _know_ things are going to change drastically when Lance comes back? I was messed up after I was captured. I’m _still_ messed up, and I was just barely more important than a regular prisoner. Lotor’s keeping Lance as, as, some kind of _pet_.”

Allura moved to comfort Shiro, but flinched her hand away when he dragged in a ragged breath. “I failed him so miserably, and I’m still failing him. I have so many doubts and concerns that it feels like I can’t trust him. Is it even okay for me to lead Voltron if I can’t bring myself to trust someone who’s in a position because _I put them there_?”

Coran was behind Shiro in an instant. He rested his hands on Shiro’s shoulders and looked to Allura. “Princess, I think it might be best if you join the other Paladins. I need to discuss some things with Shiro.” Allura hesitated slightly before nodding. Her concerned gaze turned away and she left without another word. Coran took a seat next to the leader of Voltron and sighed lightly, “It’s _okay_ to have your doubts and concerns. Lance was very convincing in his last contact with us, and even when Pidge and Keith slipped out to rescue him he scared the daylights out of our fearless Red Paladin. Lance is in a really bad spot and you have to consider the safety of _more_ than just him, no matter how much we all want him home and safe.”

Shiro nodded numbly, not sure where the advisor was going with his advice. Coran continued, “You were there when he was captured, yes, but that does _not_ make it your fault. Bad things happen to good people. You can’t be so unforgiving with yourself, or you’ll never be able to make difficult decisions. Lance is alive, and we’re working as hard as we can to keep it that way, and to get him back. It seems he’s more capable than any of us realize.”

A harrowed look crossed Shiro’s face. “That’s what I’m most concerned about.”

* * *

“ _Acxa_ .” Lance greeted, “ _What brings you here?_ ” He examined her slowly, careful not to be obvious in it. He regarded her with caution, but felt it was best if _she_ didn’t know that.

Her determination mixed with another expression and her eyes softened slightly, “ _I just wanted to apologize. It seems that I had misjudged you._ ” A small smile appeared on her face, a rare thing from her, “ _I’ve actually come to enjoy your company. Between you and Ezor, the ship is more lively than ever._ ”

Lance returned her smile with a grin of his own, “ _That means a lot to me, Acxa._ ” He hesitated, not sure if that was all she came for. He considered offering her something to eat or drink, but she spoke once more.

“ _I will admit, that you and Prince Lotor are an… unusual coupling._ ” She said the words carefully, surely so as not to offend Lance. He knew what she meant, with their differing species, status, and origins. “ _But you are truly an excellent match for him. You bring him much needed stability in his life, and like the ship, you liven him up as well._ ”

Lance dipped his head slightly, “ _You are too kind, Lotor is an amazing companion and I’m honored to have the approval of his_ **_most_ ** _trusted General_.” Acxa flushed a bit at the implication and dipped her head in response.

“ _Have a nice evening, Lance. The Prince should be here soon, he was just finishing up the prisoner’s interrogation_.” She replied, turning to leave. Lance watched as she exited, and found himself impressed by her poise and humility. Even though he had begun as a prisoner and enemy of the empire, and she had every reason to distrust and hate him, she came to him without prompting and apologized once she was convinced of his loyalty.

More importantly, he was thrilled to realize that Acxa was _convinced of his loyalty_. At least throughout his escape, he would have to worry about one less clever General.

* * *

“ _HUNK!_ ” Pidge hollered, from across the room. The two paladins were sitting on either end of a large room with several technologic machines, each working to trace the signal Allura received individually. “I cracked it! Double check it, quick! I can’t _believe_ this is right.”

* * *

Lotor arrived at his and Lance’s quarters only daboshes after Acxa departed. He was in a fit of anger when he walked through the door, one that Lance felt like would be dangerous to approach him during. Unfortunately for him, the Prince wanted time with him, and they set about making their dinner for the evening.

The cooking process was done in a tense silence, but they made a simple and quick dish that allowed them to settle into the table and into a conversation in a relatively short time.

“ _What do you think of the prisoner_?” Lotor asked, his voice clipped and eyes burning into Lance’s. The Blue Betrayer couldn’t help but feel like it was a trap.

“ _I think he’s overly confident and unaware of how serious his circumstances are. He seemed to be treating his capture like a joke, my Prince._ ” He replied, expertly avoiding mentioning anything that he thought would escalate the conversation.

The Prince nodded slowly, and Lance relaxed a fraction. “ _I was considering placing him in the arena, what are your thoughts_ ?” He had _several_ thoughts about that, but he had to actually _vocalize_ the right one.

Lance considered the possibilities for a few ticks before he replied, “ _It would show him the gravity of his place, but he can’t be killed in it. How could you guarantee that he won’t be killed?_ ” He watched as the corner of Lotor’s mouth quirked downward.

“ _And why must he survive? Nobody should be allowed to_ **_disrespect_ ** _my companion like he did._ ” He asked, phrasing it as if Lance had been the one offended in the event a turn ago.

“ _He’s still incredibly valuable as a bargaining chip with Voltron. We can’t ignore his usefulness in that manner._ ” Lance urged. He didn’t want to _disagree_ with Lotor’s idea to put Matt in the arena, as that placed him close to where Lance needed him to be.

Lotor thought to himself for a few ticks before coming to an excellent conclusion. “ _I can trust_ **_you_ ** _to refrain from killing him_.” He suggested. Lance kept his face from reacting the way he felt: horrified at the idea of fighting Pidge’s brother in the arena.

Instead, he entertained the thought for show before nodding, “ _And it won’t seem out of place considering my past reputation of killing some opponents but sparing others. I could put him in his place easily._ ”

Lotor grinned, “ _He’ll regret ever having looked or spoken to you like he did_ .” Lance felt uneasy with the Prince’s words, but he left it alone. Although Lotor had never seemed concerned with how people spoke about Lance, unless in a major political meeting, the former Blue Paladin _did_ know that the Prince was extremely possessive. He resolved that the intense reaction stemmed from Lotor’s possessive nature, not from any actual injustice.

* * *

The Alteans, Shiro, and the three younger Paladins all crowded into the room where Pidge and Hunk had been working. It only took two hours for them to trace and confirm the signal’s starting location, which was now displayed on the screen on the wall above them.

“I was a bit shocked when I found where the signal came from,” Pidge started, as she was the first to complete the trace. She glanced at Hunk, “So Hunk continued _his_ trace to double check it.”

Hunk nodded, “And I got the same location. It’s unmistakable: The signal came from Lance’s helmet, on Lotor’s ship.”


	14. Escape Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finally goes through with his escape plan. Will Matt be an asset or a hindrance? Will Lotor find out about it? Will the two men make a clean escape or will they face the wrath of a Prince recapturing them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matt looks just like he does in S4, except with the prisoner outfit from S1. Also, thank you all for reading and commenting on my fic! I appreciate it so much!
> 
> Shoutout to @yoime for the great song rec: Sevdaliza "That Other Girl"

_ I can trust you to refrain from killing him. I can trust you to refrain from killing him _ . Lotor’s voice rang clearly in Lance’s mind. He was in the arena, though the crowd seemed more muted than normal. Any other time he had been in the center like this, fighting an opponent, the arena cheered and roared for him. He felt like he would be able to hear a pin drop amidst the silent multitude.

_ I can trust you to refrain from killing him. I can trust you to refrain from killing him. _ Matt was on his knees, with tears in his eyes as he looked up at Lance. Somehow, the man hadn’t managed to find a weapon in the arena. Unlucky. For a rebel fighter, he didn’t seem very resourceful. 

_ I can trust you to refrain from killing him. I can trust you to refrain from killing him _ . The eerie echo continued in Lance’s mind as he lifted up his gun, bringing the aim level to the kneeling man. Matt squeezed his eyes shut in fear and cried out one more time, words garbled together in some form of pleading that Lance couldn’t process through his haze.

_ I can trust you to refrain from killing him.  _ **_I can trust you_ ** **.** The gun went off, and Uvio’s eyes snapped open.  _ I will always remember your  _ **_cruelty._ **

Lance jerked awake, his heart pounding and his chest heaving. He struggled to calm his breathing, on the verge of hyperventilating. Rocking gently in the bed and hoping Lotor wouldn’t wake from his movement, Lance thought of the ocean, ebbing back and forth on the shore. He breathed in as the wave rolled in, and breathed out as it returned to the sea. Still shaken, but far calmer, he laid back down next to the Prince. Lotor hadn’t even stirred. 

* * *

Matt paced as much as his small cell and chained ankle would allow him. Zethrid had come by early in the morning to tell him he would be fighting in the arena. She had clapped him square on the back and told him not to worry, if he died it wouldn’t matter anyway.

Somehow he didn’t feel comforted  _ or _ encouraged by that thought. He had a few hours before the big event, but he had no means to settle his nerves except for stiff pacing.

He wondered who he would be fighting, and if he even stood a chance. Maybe his last talk with Lotor had set him off more than he realized. Had he gone too far in calling him abusive? He  _ was _ abusive, but did that make things worse yet for Lance? Had he fucked up another plan? He  _ really _ hoped not. 

Matt’s chest clenched. Would he be fighting against the Galran Prince himself? He remembered the rush of fear that had gripped him when Lotor bested him in the cell yesterday. Lance was  _ terrified _ of the man, down to his very core, which made Matt extremely nervous at the thought of fighting him. Armed and in an open arena would make a terrible place to face off against him. 

The young man prayed to whoever could be listening,  _ please don’t make me fight Lotor _ . 

* * *

Lance mentally prepared himself for the coming quintents. He knew it was going to be difficult, risky, and frightening, but he also knew it was necessary. The thought of going against Lotor made him nearly paralyzed with fear, but he knew the only way to get back to his team was to do what scared him the most: Defy Lotor.

* * *

The eldest Holt child stood in the center of the arena, unchained but held in place by a thousand gazes from the arena’s audience. He had never been in the arena before. The last time he came close to it, Shiro had saved him from that fate.  _ Shiro _ . His chest gave a small pang of guilt and longing for his friend from the Garrison. He  _ knew _ he was part of Voltron, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him safe after they had been separated.

Thoughts of Shiro were abruptly shattered by the sound of one of the arena’s large doors opening. His opponent had arrived at last. The crowd, which had previously regarded their newest fighter with hesitance and silence, burst into life at the sight of the other fighter.

Lotor walked graciously, every bit like a Prince should. Matt’s gut knotted up, he knew he wouldn’t be lucky enough to get away with not fighting against Lotor. He just wished he could have seen Pidge and Shiro once more. Upon reaching the center of the arena, Lotor stepped aside slightly for his guard to come toe to toe with Matt.

Sweet, cool relief flooded the human. He  _ wouldn’t _ have to fight him after all. Still, the crowd’s excitement did not wane when the Prince stepped aside. They knew the  _ actual _ fighter as well. 

The guard bowed his head towards the Prince, who returned the gesture and left to allow the match to start. Not a tick had passed following the Prince’s exit, signaled by the sound of the large door shutting behind him, before the guard swiped at Matt’s feet, bringing him down to the ground in a thud. 

“Fuck!” Matt yelped, scrambling off to the side. The guard was slow to come towards him, but the movements he made gave the human the distinct impression that he was being toyed with. His shoulders swayed slightly and the dark hood of his helmet concealed any expression, though Matt was sure it was one suited for a predator stalking its prey. 

Matt tried to get up to his feet but tripped once more, landing flat on his ass on the coarse dirt floor. He could hear a dark chuckle from his opponent, followed by a swift kick to his jaw. He felt his head spinning, but was surprised at how little the kick actually hurt. The fighter wound up for a second kick, but Matt was ready.

He grabbed his ankle and yanked, pulling his opponent down to his level. Then, he rushed to gain the upper hand. Or rather, he sprung to his feet to get a better chance at running off and finding a decent weapon. His opponent sauntered behind him, having stood up easily and  unalarmed at Matt’s frantic movements to procure something to defend himself with. 

He grabbed a metal pipe. It was rusted around the ends, but sturdy and heavy at about three feet long. Perfect length for him to attack with. He swung at the other arena fighter’s legs, only for him to jump over and reach for his own weapon. He hadn’t even noticed the small holstered blaster until it was too late.

A shot was fired and his metal pipe was suddenly very hot, then gone. He’d never seen someone shoot a small target like that out of someone’s hand. He wasn’t harmed by the blast, but the shock of it left him flinching back regardless.

The man in the helmet took a step forward and jabbed his gun at Matt’s chest. He stumbled backwards and tripped over his own pipe. He fell to the ground, backing up as best he could with his face to his attacker. 

Unable to scuttle back fast enough, the other man was on top of him in an instant, a foot on each side of his ribcage. A thought ran through his mind, but before he could even  _ try _ to kick the other’s feet out from under him, several shots rang out.

The crowd’s previous cheering and noise silenced as the noise reverberated through the arena. Matt thought he had died, but the ringing in his ears from the blaster hitting so close to them proved his vitality. All he could see was the dust that had kicked up from around him.

Lance removed his helmet, garnering back the roar of the recently silenced audience. He smirked down at the six holes in the ground, forming an outline of Matt’s head. He didn’t want to hurt the other man, but he knew that a few good shots to scare him would make him feel a bit better about Matt’s behavior. 

A slow clap sounded from above them. The Blue Betrayer’s eyes flashed in pain before the emotion disappeared as quickly as it came. He turned to the source: Lotor.

“ _ Excellent show, Lance. _ ” Lotor congratulated publically, addressing the crowd as much as he was Lance. “ _ Clean yourself up and take our prisoner back to his cell, then we can have some time to ourselves. _ ” His suggestion was obvious to anyone old enough to understand it. Lance bowed his head slightly in agreement and grabbed Matt by the scruff of his shirt. He helped him to his feet that way, roughly but still kindly. 

He wasn’t prepared for what would happen when they walked through the arena doors.

* * *

Team Voltron congregated in their control room for an alarming observation. Coran had noticed a wave of ships leaving Lotor’s fleet to rejoin an old section of the universe. Hunk was the first to recognize the significance of the location.

“Wait a second,” He hesitated, staring intently at the monitor, “Isn’t that where Zarkon’s ship was abandoned after we defeated him?” 

Realization and worry engulfed the room. Shiro shook his head, “That  _ can’t  _  be right, there’s no way he could have survived that, and there’s no reason for them to even  _ return _ there.”

Pidge cut her eyes at him, “Well, the coordinates are the same, so there must be  _ some _ reason.”

The group shuffled nervously, a silence nearly settling over them. The Princess, deeply focused on the map, thought aloud, “Perhaps Zarkon’s witch is attempting to overthrow Lotor?” Her eyes flicked to the moving dots that represented war ships. “If there are troops swaying to her side, now might be the weakest moment for Lotor’s fleet.”

Keith’s attention was instantly grabbed, “Then  _ now _ is the time to get Lance.” Hunk laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder and shook his head sadly.

“Or it’s  _ Lance _ ’s time to escape. We can’t barge in and ruin his plan. He might have known about this for  _ weeks _ . He’s on the inside, after all.” His discomfort was evident. Hunk didn’t like the idea of sitting and waiting around for Lance to rescue himself any more than the others did, but his words rang true. 

Pidge groaned in frustration, “Why is everything so  _ hard _ ? Why can’t we just have our friends all together, and be done with defeating Zarkon, and not have some  _ fucking _ prince ruining our universe defending and-” She cut herself off with another frustrated groan, higher in pitch and nearing an angry squeal. 

The others’ eyes found the floor, downcast in a nostalgic memory of the first few encounters they had as a newly formed team. There had been difficulties and trials, but they had always come out on top. The group could only hope the same would come true for the situation they were in now. Having a team member gone for nearly a year was heart breaking and stressful, but even with their troubles now, they had no idea what Lance was going through.

* * *

Seeing Lance’s face made thought swarm inside of Matt’s mind. Had he finally pissed the Blue Betrayer off enough that he wouldn’t help anymore? Had Lance actually turned to Lotor’s side? The transition would have been practically nothing for him, Matt was sure. All he had to really do was stop holding onto the idea of returning to Voltron. 

Being lead out of the arena like a prisoner reminded Matt that he was exactly that: A prisoner. He wasn’t Lance’s friend. He wasn’t a guest or an ally. He was a prisoner.

Lost in his doubts and concerns about Lance, Matt was startled when the main event began.

Lance snatched up Matt’s arm the tick the first explosion happened. He didn’t wait for the other man to even process what was happening before he started running with him. Blast after blast detonated from behind the pair, each only with a tick’s lag behind them.

Matt’s mind was reeling from the overwhelming events happening around him, but Lance kept him on the right track. He bobbed and weaved through the halls of the ship, deftly avoiding each and every guard running to address the attack on their ship. 

The former blue Paladin eyed the upcoming explosive and took a hard left, Pidge’s brother still in tow. He felt his nerves gnawing thin, as anxiety crept up in his gut. Was it just him, or were the explosives happening closer and closer to when he and Matt were passing them? He had carefully set timers on them, but what if he mis-measured them? What if he had started too late, or overestimated how quickly he could run with Matt behind him? Maybe he would have a better chance if he left M-

“I’m  _ not _ leaving you behind.” Lance snapped suddenly, confusing the other man.  _ Obviously _ he wasn’t being left behind, considering the death grip that was still on his wrist as he ran behind Lance. He didn’t realize the words were more to remind himself than to reassure Matt.

After the longest run Matt had undergone without explanation, the two of them finally reached their destination: a lone airlock. Matt shook his head feverently.

“No fucking way.” Lance looked back at him with confusion, and he shook his head even more quickly, “No no no, I am  _ not _ jumping out of a fucking airlock.” He didn’t know what Lance was up to, but the Galran prison seemed much safer than the Blue Betrayer at the moment.

The shorter man rolled his eyes, “This is the fastest way to the cargo ship I have prepped and you can bet your  _ ass _ you are getting in that airlock or I will fucking  _ shoot _ you and drag you out anyway.” Lance snarled, uncharacteristically nasty. Matt had seen him angry most of the time he had seen him, but never without reason. He winced and held his hands up for a tick.

“Okay, okay, into the space death trap.” Matt snarked back. He watched as Lance scoped out the hall before opening a storage unit near the airlock. It had been  _ inside _ of the wall, with the outline of the unit appearing to be a pattern on the wall until it slid out. He pulled a suit from inside of it before closing it again. He tossed the suit to Matt and counted silently to himself.

“You have about 30 ticks to get ready before that airlock opens.” Lance warned. Matt opened his mouth to protest, but the former Blue Paladin was quicker, “Don’t fucking argue this entire plan is on a  _ timer _ , I can’t stop it from happening.”

Matt’s eyes widened and he scrambled to dress himself, shoving his limbs into the suit and fumbling with the zipper and mask. He had scarcely breathed a breath of relief for finishing in time when the airlock doors slid open. All of the air surrounding them was sucked into space with a deafening  _ whoosh _ , pulling them out as well. 

Lance was prepared for this, and latched onto Matt’s back easily. His suit was of better quality, and he was able to direct his float using small propulsions. Slowly but surely, the two floated to a small cargo ship, no bigger than Rebel ships Matt had seen, or the ship Lance had seen when his team helped Rolo and Nyma.

They reached the side of the hull after slowly crossing the small void. Matt would be lying if he said that he wasn’t nervous without anything but a suit designed to keep him from dying. No rations, no propulsions, nothing but a vacuum seal. Lance, still holding onto him, snatched Matt to the side by his arm. A port opened up, only for about ten ticks. The former Blue Paladin was extremely focused the entire time, shoving Matt into the port and following behind just in time for the port to close. 

Air seeped back into the cavity they entered once the port was fully closed. Matt yanked his helmet off with an exaggerated gasp. The other man took his helmet off as well, rolling his eyes at the theatrics.

“You’re not going to die. Suck it up.” Lance said, a playful tone laying down in his voice. It was an unfamiliar sound to Matt, he’d never seen Lance anything but serious, angry, or scared. Playful was new.

“Would it have  _ killed _ you to allow a little more time between things?” Matt snapped back, ignoring whatever Lance had just said. He was irritated, first the Blue Betrayer didn’t let him help plan the escape, then he wasn’t even  _ warned _ that it was starting, and now he had the audacity to tell him to  _ suck it up _ ?

“Yes.” Lance replied, the playfulness gone from his voice so quickly that Matt wondered if it had even been there to begin with. “Those sentries and soldiers would have noticed a longer escape. And we’re not out of the clear yet. Quit your fucking complaining before I change my mind about bringing you along.”

Indignant anger welled up inside of Matt, “What the fuck is wrong with you?  _ Threatening  _ me for no goddamned reason. You’re a fucking  _ prick _ .”

The former Blue Paladin ignored Matt’s insults and turned to the controls of the cargo ship. He set it off to his pre-designated course: the last sighting of Voltron. Then, after the few daboshes it took to set the ship up on autopilot, he finally turned back to Matt.

“Yeah, I’m a prick. I’m whatever I have to be to get us the  _ fuck _ out of here safely.” 

Matt suddenly felt smaller, despite having a few inches on the younger man. He had his share of necessary fighting for his life, yes, but he had never had to fight for it from the inside. He had been rescued by Shiro, and then by the Rebellion, within a short period of time. He hadn’t faced extreme hardships until  _ after _ he was free again. He didn’t know what it was like to have to fight to  _ gain _ that freedom, only to  _ keep _ it. 

His pride prevented him from saying anything further to Lance, but the knowing look in the blue eyes as they turned away from him told Matt that Lance knew, and understood. Neither of them pushed the matter.

* * *

Lotor was inspecting the blast damage for himself when he came to a sudden realization. Lance hadn’t come to find him in the chaos. There hadn’t been many times where there was panic or a rush of soldiers going anywhere, but each time there was so much as a hint of a problem, Lance had appeared at his side within daboshes.

He knew this was because Lance was scared of being accused of trying to escape. So  _ why _ wasn’t he here now. A thought popped into his mind and it  _ enraged _ him.

The Prince snatched the nearest passerby by their collar, making them drop the contents of their arms. Lotor briefly recognized that the soldier had been collecting explosive fragments as per his orders, but the observation was drowned out by his overriding order:

“ _ Find my companion this  _ **_instant_ ** .” 

* * *

The tick that alarm sounds started going off, fear struck deep into Lance’s bones. He rushed to the front of the cargo hold, ignoring the muffled questions Matt was asking him. Deft fingers splayed across the control board as he initiated the cloaking sequence. He had planned to do this  _ later _ to avoid suspicions as a simple cargo ship with cloaking technology, but he didn’t have the  _ time. _ Lotor was looking for them now, almost five daboshes ahead of his plan. 

Lance’s frantic movements left Matt asking what was going on several times, but he eventually realized his words were falling on deaf ears.

“ **_LANCE_ ** .” Matt screamed, snapping the other out of his fear-induced daze. He took that attention as his cue to finally ask, “How can I help?” He didn’t mean to ask that, but given the circumstances, he supposed it was a better question than his original of, ‘what’s going on?’

The former Blue Paladin’s eyes darted around the cabin, “I need, I need, You have to pilot us. Autopilot will be shut off soon and we can’t be, oh god we can’t be caught Matt. He’ll kill you. He’ll,” Lance’s breathing spiked with his heart rate and he knew a panic attack was setting in. He rested a hand on the side of the cabin and dug his fingernails into the metal. The creak hurt his ears.

He clutched his collar with his free hand, suddenly swarmed with the sensation of choking. He tugged on his collar, then eventually locked gazes with Matt. The other man, though his senior by a few years, was terrified. Lance swallowed the lump that made him feel like he was choking. His rhythmic tugging continued, but he found his words once more.

“Navigate.” He ordered simply. “I’m getting the defenses up and going and we need to be prepared for a battle but hope that stealth wins out.”

* * *

Lotor snarled at anyone walking too close to him. Lance was nowhere to be found, and neither was that  _ bastard _ prisoner. His mind had gone straight to the most incriminating thought, but he  _ knew _ that it was what happened. They were trying to escape, if they hadn’t already.

The Prince was more unseemly than any of his underlings had ever seen him. His normally slicked back hair was tousled and a crazed look fogged his typically cool and composed eyes. He was pacing the ship, walking the same halls again and again at a brisk speed. His eyes darted back and forth, searching every cubic  _ unit _ of the ship for any sign of how Lance had escaped. Even the explosives, which the Prince was now certain was a distraction created by none other than his own companion, were completely clean of any sign of who had set them up. 

“ _ Nobody takes what’s mine _ .” Lotor snarled in anger, to nobody in particular. Nearby soldier scuttled away, for fear of being caught in his unstable rampage. “ _ That man is  _ **_mine_ ** _ , damn it. _ ” He reached out to grab the nearest soldier.

The wide-eyed man was a bit smaller than most of the other soldiers around, perhaps with mixed heritage. The Prince’s grip left him quivering, not daring to touch his Prince’s hand but scared of being choked by his own suit. “ _ Ye-yes my Prince _ ?” He squeaked out sheepishly.

The Prince focused on him, “ _ Gather a team. I need fighter ships out patrolling the area within three daboshes. If they aren’t there, you will be.  _ **_Without_ ** _ your suit. _ ” The soldier nodded feverently and Lotor shoved him down, away from him and out of his sight. He scrambled to his feet and ran off down the hall, towards the hangar. He was shouting and grabbing at various people as he passed by, fearful for his life.

Prince Lotor grinned to himself. Once he got his hands on Lance, the other man would be wishing he had died in the very explosions he had set off.

* * *

“ _ Fuck. _ ” Lance snapped. His heart rate had stabilized and he had calmed down significantly, but the readings on his radar made the panic rise up again. Fighters were mobilizing, and he knew that Lotor had caught onto their escape plan. “Fuck fuck fuck.” He chanted quietly.

Matt placed his hand on Lance’s upper arm, ignoring the slight flinch it elicited. “Lance, you have to calm down. We have cloaking, we should be able to get out in time.” The former Blue Paladin shook his head.

“I can’t go back there Matt. You don’t even want to  _ know _ ,  _ I _ don’t even want to  _ think  _ about-” He cut himself off with a deep breath. “You’re right, we’re going to be fine.” He pointed to some old equipment that was up and running, but not currently being used. “Do you think you could encrypt a message to send to Voltron? I know how to send messages, but I’m terrified of sending one that’s not encrypted enough, or too encrypted for the team.”

Matt nodded, setting to work on the old, but easily navigated, equipment. He knew they’d be out soon enough.

* * *

Pidge was sleeping near the monitors in the control room. She had been camping out there ever since she and Hunk found the location of Allura’s mystery message. She wanted to be the  _ first _ person to know if he contacted them again. She wouldn’t miss a chance to help Lance and her brother make it home safely.

A bright flash of light and a loud ping woke her from her light sleep cycle. She rubbed at her eyes, lifting the glasses off her nose from the movement. With her sleepiness wiped away, she looked up to the monitor and screamed. The Green Paladin scrambled to her feet and ran off down the hall, screaming for Allura before any of the other Paladins could even react to her first scream.

Allura was woken by the sound of her teammate’s screams, and rushed out of her room, only to run head first into the smaller girl. “What’s wrong?” She asked quickly, crouching down to Pidge’s height in an instant. 

Pidge garbled her words as she tried to speak, but after a few seconds of a stuttering mess she finally gave up and shouted, “ _ WORMHOLE _ !” She dragged Allura by the hand, who was confused but followed along.

By then, the entire castle had woken up and was running to find the source of the alarming scream. They rushed after the two running Paladins and followed them right to where Pidge had dragged Allura: the main control room.

“I got a message.” Pidge said, finally finding enough composure to speak intelligibly. “Lance and Matt are on their way but they need a wormhole. Here, I’ve got coordinates right here.” She shoved her tablet in the face of the Princess, not waiting for a response.

Shiro brought the youngest Paladin’s roll to a halt. “Stop.” He interrupted, “What if this message isn’t _ actually _ from them?” He hated to be the voice of reason, especially with the possibility of bringing Lance and Matt home so close to being a reality, but he knew that opening a wormhole for the wrong people could be a disaster.

“It  _ has _ to be, this is the code my brother uses! Only he and my dad and I know it!” 

* * *

Lance and Matt waited in silence for a response, but none came. The Blue Betrayer gave his friend a side-eyed glance. He could see Matt’s worry bubbling up, and it sent a pang of guilt through him. Matt had seen him breaking down over the thought of Lotor catching them, it was no surprise that it would foster anxiety for him as well. 

“Matt, you’re going to see Pidge again. Going to see Shiro again. We might not be headed back to Earth, but for what really matters,  _ you’re going home _ .” He didn’t move his head to look properly at the other man, but he could feel the heat coming from his face and could see the glistening of tears from the corner of his eye. Matt was beside himself with relief and Lance felt…  _ nothing _ .

Small sniffles as Matt composed himself were the only sounds in the cabin. “So are you, Lance.” He replied softly, trying to provide the same comfort for the man who had rescued him. His heart broke when Lance shook his head gently. 

“I don’t have a home anymore.” Lance’s voice was quiet, vulnerable. “ _Lotor took that away from me_.”

* * *

“Alright Paladins.” Allura called over the communicators. “The wormhole is about to be opened. Ready your weapons. Remember. We do not know what is coming through it. It will be allowed to dock to the hangar, but you  _ must  _ be prepared to shoot at the first sign of an enemy.”

The Paladins called back their affirmations and she hovered her hands over the Altean control pillars. A bright blue took over the control room and a wormhole appeared near the ship.

There was nothing for a few moments, then, a small Galran cargo ship flew through. Not willing to allow anything else near the Castle, Allura closed the wormhole immediately and rushed to join her teammates.

She had scarcely made it to the hangar when the docked cargo ship began to open. 

The team watched with baited breath as two figures stepped out. Neither were immediately recognizable. Lance’s lanky figure had bulked out a bit, with muscle tone from being forced to train more. His skin was sickly and a single scar ran through his left eyebrow and slightly below his eye, on the outside corner but very close to the eye itself. His hair was in an undercut, with the top of it longer than it had been before. More distinctly, he was suited up exactly like one of Lotor’s generals, with a Galran gun to match.

Matt, on the other hand, was dressed in the black suit and purple shirt given to all common prisoners. His hair had grown out and was a bit longer and lighter than Pidge’s. He looked much different in person compared to the photo everyone had seen through Pidge’s eyes. He had a scar along his right cheek, but otherwise as tall, lanky, and normal as ever.

Lance gave the others a dazzling smile and teased, “What, no group hug?”

The team latched on without further delay, dissolving into a sopping, crying mess. They thought he was dead, then that he had turned against them, but now he was home with them.

“I missed you so much.”

“We thought we  _ killed _ you!”

“Don’t  _ ever _ scare us like that again.”

“I’m so glad you’re safe.”

* * *

Once all was said and done, Lance left Pidge to spend time with her brother, and retreated to his room. He needed some time alone, and now might be his best chance to get it. He smiled at the state of his room. Cluttered, yes, but not a mess and entirely  _ his _ . He didn’t allow his mind to dwell on the nightmare that was his past few turns, or anything bad that wanted to crop up in his mind. He knew there was a long way before he was  _ okay _ again, but just for one night, he was going to allow himself the illusion of being safe, sound, and  _ okay _ . If only for a good night’s sleep.


	15. Celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is home safe, and the others want to celebrate his and Matt's return! Matt has some doubts about our Blue Boy, though!

Shiro felt his tense shoulders ease up when he woke up and realized that Lance and Matt were truly back with them in the Castle. The day following Lance’s return home was a busy and joyful day, and Shiro walked around the ship to check on everyone. Pidge was still ecstatic to finally have her brother home with her, and Matt was relieved to be amongst friends. He thought it was funny that everyone called her by the nickname she used to whine about when they were younger, and got even  _ more _ of a kick out of the story of why Lance had thought she was a boy when they attended the Garrison together. Matt had to admit, breaking into the Galaxy Garrison was so wild that nobody could have expected a 13-year old kid to do it. Shiro, on the other hand, felt like it was  _ exactly _ a Pidge thing to do. He wished he had a chance to talk with Matt alone for a bit, but he knew that he and his sister had more important catching up to do.

He passed by the kitchen next, where Hunk was helping Coran. The two were so happy to have Lance home and safe that they decided to made a short stop on a nearby planet to gather lots of foods for a celebratory feast. 

“Coran, just  _ wait _ , Lance’s eyes are gonna bulge out like crazy and he’s gonna get so giddy over this, it’s gonna be  _ great _ .” Hunk gushed, chopping the colorful vegetables into chunks. Coran hummed in agreement, readying the other ingredients.

The Black Paladin smiled at the happy tune. He hadn’t seen those expressions in  _ months _ , not since Lance had gone missing. He moved on, walking to see what Keith was doing. At first he couldn’t find the Red Paladin, which was more concerning once he checked both his room and the training room. If Keith was in neither of those places, he wasn’t sure where to even  _ begin _ looking.

Instead, he waited on tracking down his teammate and looked for the Princess. He found her easily, tidying the common room nervously.

“Everything okay?” He asked cautiously. He actually couldn’t think of a time when he saw Allura riled up like this, she rarely cleaned unless it was a team effort. To go into some sort of cleaning spree was very uncharacteristic. Although, he supposed, Hunk  _ had _ told him that she and Lance could often be found re-organizing the Castle’s many storage rooms. “I know I’m not Coran, but I’d like to think I’m someone you can confide in.”

The young Altean woman looked up in surprise, “Oh,” she said, “I’m just, a bit nervous I suppose.” She folded her hands in front of her, then unfolded and refolded them again, “I thought after losing my home world that losing a single person would be nothing but,” the Princess hesitated, her eyes softening as she looked to the ground, “but it seems that I still haven’t wrapped my head around the loss, really. When Lance came back I was immensely relieved yet, I-” she sighed, “I was expecting it. I was expecting his return all along because I  never truly accepted that he was  _ gone _ , even when we had every reason to believe he was. And I’m afraid that I’m still letting myself think like that now. It’s so easy to just pretend that we took the Castle off of Altea and that returning would mean only a wormhole’s trip away.”

Shiro blinked slowly, not expecting the emotional unloading that Allura had just had. He processed what she said and smiled softly, “Your loss is a  _ huge _ trauma.” Shiro conceded, “To be able to process and fully grieve it in a short period of time isn’t reasonable. There are people gone that you probably never would have thought about had they lived and died a normal life on Altea.” He walked closer to her and tried to reassure her by placing his organic hand on her shoulder, “But they didn’t. They were taken suddenly and cruelly in a manner than forced you to feel guilt and mourning for them. You didn’t know all of them. In fact, you barely knew any of them, but with such a catastrophic disaster, it made you connect to each and every one of them. That’s not an easy burden to bear, but we’re all here to help you with it.”

Allura blinked rapidly, keeping tears at bay. “Thank you Shiro. Now I really must finish up. Pidge and Matt are setting up that vid-eye oh gaming device later to contribute to our celebrations.”

Shiro nodded in response, “Any time. Oh, and don’t forget to let me know when the video game is set up!” He subtly corrected her pronunciation, not wanting to embarrass her by pointing it out explicitly. He stepped to leave but remembered who he was originally looking for. “That’s right,” He turned back to the Princess, “Have you seen Keith?”

Her eyebrows knitted together. “He wasn’t training?” Shiro shook his head, “Or in his room?” Another shake, “Ah, I believe he was near Lance’s room earlier, but that was  _ vargas _ ago.” Like a light going off in Shiro’s mind, his eyes widened and an exasperated smile spread across his face.

“Thanks!” He called, turning back to leave. He could hear Allura returning to her cleaning. He wondered momentarily if Keith was bothering Lance.

Turning the corner, the Black Paladin found Keith asleep, propped up against the wall next to Lance’s door. He regarded the younger man with confusion, and approached him. As if he heard him, Keith’s head snapped up once Shiro got too close. His eyes were tired and he looked like he hadn’t slept much last night.

“Keith?” Shiro asked hesitantly. The other didn’t reply, with an odd expression of guilty shame on his face. He wasn’ sure what Keith had done, or  _ if _ he had done something, but the look on his face gave Shiro a bad feeling. “What are you doing here?” He crouched down to the Red Paladin’s level.

“I’m,” Keith croaked out, his voice hoarse from sleeping. He cleared his throat, “I’ve been waiting on Lance to come out. He didn’t come out last night and I’m worried.” He explained, adjusting his position a little, “I know I shouldn’t hover but he hasn’t even been in the healing pod, are you sure we should have let him just go to bed like that?”

“That-” Shiro hesitated. They  _ hadn’t _ checked to make sure Lance was okay before letting him have alone time. Quite honestly the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, nor any of the others’ minds, he was sure. They were all too relieved to have him home, and he didn’t  _ look _ injured. “You might have a point.”

Shiro felt like he might regret disturbing Lance, but he also felt like he might regret  _ not _ disturbing him. So he knocked.

* * *

Lance was laying in bed for far too long. He  _ knew _ the others would worry if he didn’t come out soon, but he was so close to actually enjoying himself. He wasn’t familiar with the emotion that was flooding his system, but it was  _ almost _ a good one. The best he’d felt in a while. A little more than empty, but much less crushing than guilt or self-hatred. Perhaps it was just contentment? Not exactly happy, but nothing wrong either? He knew that the moment he got out of bed, however, he would no longer be able to put off facing reality. He had his one night of pretending everything was okay, and he had to heal now.

A sharp knock brought him out of his mind. “ _ In a dabosh _ .” He called out, barely paying attention. He dressed himself quickly, comforted in the familiarity that was his Earth clothes. Although, he couldn’t find his jacket. Normally he would be upset, but quite frankly he just couldn’t  _ remember _ where he had put it last, so he wasn’t that concerned. His shirt sleeves reached halfway down his forearms anyway, so nothing was really showing. 

An impatient knock followed the first, and Lance found himself more easily irritated than expected. “ _ I said in a fucking dabosh. _ ” He snapped, opening the door to two puzzled Paladins.

They floundered for a moment in their confusion. They had heard Lance say something, but wasn’t able to understand him. At first they thought he was just muffled through the door, but once he opened it they could hear him clearly-and still not understand him.

“ _ Why are you looking at me like _ -” Lance stopped suddenly, his face flushing with shame. He’d never spoken in the wrong language before, and it was something he didn’t even think he  _ could _ do accidentally. He supposed that it was because he was so used to the Galran translators, for which it didn’t matter what language he spoke. 

He didn’t even comment on his mistake, instead speaking quickly to cover it up, this time in  _ English _ , “What’s up?” He asked, “Is breakfast ready?” He smiled at them brightly, forcing himself to act like he wasn’t angry just a moment ago before he could stop himself.

His teammates glanced at each other, concerned by the sudden shift in Lance’s tone. Shiro smiled nonetheless and replied, “Lance, it’s well past breakfast. Coran and Hunk were just starting  _ dinner _ , actually.”

Lance’s smile didn’t waver, and Keith felt more than a little uneasy at his unchanging expression. “Whoops,” He joked, “I guess not being able to sleep in for a while really hit me once I got back, but it won’t happen again.” Shiro chuckled at Lance’s antics, relieved to have him back to his normal self, and back to keeping the team off edge.

Keith, however, didn’t drop the subject, “What were you speaking just now? When you sounded angry?” Something flashed in the Blue Betrayer’s eyes, but was gone before Shiro had noticed it or Keith could decipher it.

“It was the Galran common tongue.” He admitted, “Prince Lotor insisted I learn it and I got so used to everyone having  _ Galran _ translators that I didn’t think twice about speaking in it, because normally even people who  _ don’t _ know the common tongue can understand it through their translator.”

Neither of Lance’s teammates knew exactly what to say. Lance had been gone for nearly a year, but they hadn’t expected him to learn a completely new language. “Can you read it too?” Keith blurted without thinking. Lance responded with an odd look, and he continued, “I mean it would be super useful to be able to read the newer version of the language cause right now Allura and Coran and Pidge are basically deciphering it like a code every time we have to read it and having someone who  _ can _ read it would be so nice.” The Red Paladin felt himself rambling and yet he was unable to stop himself. More embarrassingly, Lance just let him ramble, nodding thoughtfully as if his long explanation had any value beyond literacy being useful.

“Yes.” Lance replied simply, “I can speak and read it fluently. My vocabulary isn’t as varied as a native speaker, but the basics are there and I can understand most new words through context now.”

Shiro grinned at his younger teammate, “That’s  _ amazing _ , Lance.” He knew how delicate Lance’s esteem had been before his capture, but he didn’t want to speak too unusually. He felt like changing his behavior would be the wrong thing to do. He clapped Lance on the shoulder, like a proud leader. “We should be getting to the group, now.” He added, speaking right over Lance’s flinch.

* * *

Shiro would  _ never _ hit Lance. Shiro would  _ never _ purposely harm or intimidate him. Shiro was a good leader and a good  _ friend _ and he wanted what was  _ best _ for Lance and the team. The former Blue Paladin followed closely behind his two friends, carefully regulating his breathing. 

Shiro was  _ not _ about to hit him, so why did it scare him  _ so much _ when his hand came at him? Lance felt the all too familiar feeling of guilt soak into his bones. 

His team had done absolutely nothing wrong, but he was already lashing out at them in irritation and anger, and acting afraid of them. They didn’t deserve this.

Keith looked back a few times as they were walking, making Lance lag a few more steps each time. By the time they reached the dining room, Lance was nearly five feet behind them. Finally unable to keep from commenting, Keith stopped just before the door to the dining room and turned to face Lance.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” Lance regarded him with confusion, “Why are you all the way back there?” Keith rephrased, to clarify. The former Blue Paladin shrugged.

“Just enjoying being back in the castle, y’know?” His tone took a lighter feel to it as he joked, “I never thought I would miss pastel colors and Altean architecture this much.” He laughed it off, catching back up to where his teammates had stopped to wait for him. Keith’s gaze lingered a moment, and Lance felt his defenses kick in, “Got a problem with it, mullet for brains?” 

Keith huffed, that was the most normal response he could have expected. “Well  _ excuse _ me for worrying about your smartass.” He snarked back, irritated that Lance wasn’t even taking his own return seriously. Lance scoffed.

“So you finally admit to thinking about my ass?” Keith felt his face flush but refused to look at what he was  _ sure _ was Lance’s smug, triumphant grin. He mumbled out for Lance to shut up, and entered the dining room without further delay.

Hunk and Coran must have still been in the kitchen, because nobody was there yet. Shiro glanced around and sighed. “Pidge and Matt are trying to set up a surprise, so I’ll go check to see if they’re finished with it. Coran and Hunk haven’t finished dinner yet, and that’s  _ also _ a surprise.” He looked to Lance. “Stay here a sec, I’ll pop my head into the common room to see the progress.”

True to his word, Shiro took less than thirty seconds to check to see if the Holt Siblings were done with their project before coming back with a grin. 

Keith and Lance took that as an affirmative, and followed their leader. 

* * *

“Now, Lance and I are going to play this first.” Pidge explained to Matt, “He was the one that helped me get it and we had been trying for a few weeks to get it to work. He’s gonna be  _ so _ excited.” Her brother admired how she gushed about her friend, but he couldn’t help but feel uneasy about it.

He had seen and interacted with Lance, but nothing any of the team seemed to be saying about the man lined up with  _ anything _ Matt had seen firsthand. Funny? Kind? Self-Sacrificing? He had never him smile unless Lotor was looking at him, his behavior towards Matt were only as kind as someone trying to benefit themselves, and he sure as  _ hell _ didn’t think the woman who died at Lance’s hand would think of him as self-sacrificing. 

_ Uvio _ . Matt knew the name of a woman he had never even met, and it tore him to  _ pieces _ . How could Lance have killed her without hesitation? Even his own ally, a spy from the Blade, had said he was heartless when it came to her execution. Matt glaced at Pidge from the corner of his eye.

How could his little sister, as brilliant and good as she is, have fallen for whatever bullshit Lance told her? What kind of front had he put up for Voltron? Was he even truly on their  _ side _ anymore? Matt was terrified of the possibility that Lotor had  _ let _ them go on purpose, for Lance to infiltrate the inside easily. He knew that he couldn’t tell them anything about what Lance was like, because at most he would have Pidge believe him. He stopped, remembering how fond she was of him.  _ Fuck _ , maybe not even his own sister would believe him if he tried to speak about the horrors Lance committed. 

Lance’s voice brought him out of his deep thought. “This is  _ amazing _ , Pidgeon.” He exclaimed, holding his arms out wide for her. Matt silently judged the Blue Betrayer as Pidge ran into his arms and he reacted with nothing but excitement and a reciprocated hug. 

“I’m so glad to be back with everyone,” His eyes cut playfully at Matt, though the eldest Holt sibling felt it held more malice than the others did, “ _ even _ Matt.” 

Pidge ushered her friend towards the gaming system, laughing at his playful jabs. “Come  _ on  _ Lance, we have an evil vintage  _ demon _ to defeat.” He let her tug on his arm to bring him down to the floor, but he noticed she wasn’t as strong as she used to be. Concern flashed through his thoughts for a moment as he wondered if she had been eating, sleeping, and training properly during his absence.

He agreed eagerly, and the two played their game for the next two hours. Keith was surprisingly into it, despite never being one for electronics before. He cheered next to Matt as the eldest Holt child was able to momentarily forget his suspicions about Lance. Shiro watched on as Allura and Coran learned more about  _ Earth Culture _ through the experience, and Hunk came in with Coran to see what the excitement was about after he set the dinner in the cooking equipment to finish cooking. 

Lance was in his  _ zone _ . With such an encompassing and  _ Earth  _ experience, he couldn’t even imagine a way for it to be tainted by the Galran Empire. He was somewhere far, far away from the reaches of Prince Lotor and he could pretend for a bit longer that his entire time there hadn’t happened. He wished it would last longer.

Finally, Hunk broke the magic and spoke. “Come on you  _ nerds _ ,” He teased, “Dinner should be done now, let’s go have some family time.” He lead the way to the dining room and the whole team erupted in excitement. There were several alien and human-esque dishes alike, a small feast from the foods collected from Hunk and Coran’s planetary visit. The team rushed to sit down, pushing slightly past Lance to get there. Even Matt was still too excited by what was happening to give the Blue Betrayer a second thought.

Lance was frozen for a moment, his heart hammering in his chest. The huge table for the Paladins was suddenly too small, too personal, and too routine. He was back in Lotor’s quarters, he had been dreaming the entire time in some long-winded fantasy in his mind. His team wasn’t here, he hadn’t saved Matt, he hadn’t saved  _ himself _ . Lance’s chest constricted and he fought the bitter taste of bile at the back of his throat.

“-ance?” Pidge’s voice was soft and concerned, and Lance was snapped back to the present. He felt a chill come over him. No, he wasn’t okay, no matter how hard he pretended.

Flashing a million dollar grin, Lance downplayed his discomfort. “Sorry, sorry,” He said, holding his hands up playfully, “I was so shocked to see  _ real _ food instead of food goo that I zoned out a bit.” He laughed, the younger Paladins joining in with him. Their momentary concern washed away. 

Everyone took their time sitting down, making Lance a bit uncomfortable. “So who cooked all of this grub? Surely Hunk wasn’t doing this all by  _ himself _ , you’re gonna work my buddy to death here.” He joked, popping around the table. Pidge was seated. Matt was seated. Allura was seated, and now so was Coran. Shiro was helping pass out plates, and Hunk and Keith were just  _ standing around _ . 

Lance strained to keep his comfort level to himself.  He grinned and tried to bear it, looking to Keith’s stance. Why was the Red Paladin still standing? And Black? And Yellow? Hunk took a seat and Lance felt himself relax a fraction. Shiro finished setting the table and finally took his seat as well. The Blue Paladin’s gaze grew frantic as he glanced back at Keith.

“What are you doing, Lance?” Hunk asked, already starting to make his plate. He felt a bit rude to start without Lance and Keith sitting down at the table, but Keith didn’t really get social norms so he never counted him. Lance, on the other hand, never took so long to join them at the table.

“I was just-” Lance started to defend, but then all eyes were on him and he felt like he had brought more attention to himself than he wanted. They weren’t supposed to  _ notice _ anything. His mouth faltered from his defence into a shaky grin, “I wanted to tell you guys how much I love you?” His inflection at the end made it almost a question, but it was so faintly there that it went largely unnoticed. There were a few laughs at it, and nearly everyone rushed over each other to respond with their own words of love.

Keith sat down silently. Although Lance finally felt comfortable enough to sit with the rest of them, having been the last seated, he was unable to completely get rid of his discomfort. The situation at hand made him feel nauseous, he never thought that he would ever wish so badly for food goo, but here he was, doing just that. 

He ate heartily nonetheless, doing exactly what was expected of him. He goaded Keith and Pidge into eating contests and offered up some of his own food when he could no longer stomach the familiar tastes. Though he made a huge show over his plate, it didn’t even register in his teammates’ minds that Lance had only eaten about half of his food.

* * *

Once the playful dinner was over, Team Voltron was nearly content in Lance’s position being so easily reinstated in the team. Even Shiro, who harbored the most doubts about their Blue Paladin’s frame of mind upon his return, was happy and carefree. The only one with lingering doubts was Matt. 

After the interactions with the video game and dinner, however, he knew he had most likely misjudged Lance. Any residual negative emotions were stemming from Lance’s behavior towards him, and Matt  _ knew _ he could hold a grudge better than most. Though he knew now that the Blue Betrayer was not as terrible as he had built him up to be, the young rebel was still a bit resentful of him. 

Matt looked to Lance, who was hanging out with everyone else in the control room. The information he was able to give the team was  _ amazing _ . The last upload of information he torrented onto his spare chip was over a terabyte of records regarding known rebels, citizens, planets, and more. In his secrecy, Lance had scarcely scratched the surface when he found Matt’s location. 

The blue-eyed man rambled on and on about his time there, but his tone suggested a much simpler and enjoyable stay than Matt’s observations had shown. 

“And there was my tutor. He was a Galran man but Pidge, Pidge.” He waved his hands enthusiastically, “He was a trans man! And he was  _ so _ excited to hear that humans have trans people too, like what kind of next level validation is it to have another  _ species _ experience the same thing as you? And he told me  _ all _ about the gender configurations of cultures from then on. It was like a  _ super _ history lesson.”

Matt felt almost bad for his judgement of Lance, but then he began to notice an important omission from his tales.

“And now I can speak in Altean, and the Galran common tongue, and Olkarian, and a few others. At the very least I can get you started and keep learning more so that we can practice together!”

He wasn’t talking about  _ anything _ important. Information, yes. Locations, files, codes, everything he knew,  _ yes _ . But nothing important about his  _ experience _ .

“And I dressed up in earrings a few times too, because some cultures in the fifth vector  _ really dig _ earrings. I was like, the  _ reason _ they even came to that meeting.”

He hadn’t so much as spoken Lotor’s name, or mentioned his relationship, or anything outside of “business”. Yet the team ate it up. They ooh-ed and aww-ed over Lance’s tales, Pidge typed away to record her notes for reference. Shiro noted important names, hoping for the opportunity to sway their loyalty through Lance. Allura was delighted at the parts that Lance explained how hesitant worlds were to join the Empire. She knew they would be able to retake those hesitant planets and systems from them. 

The entire team had been so caught up in the rush of information that Lance was telling them that they never even noticed him actively  _ avoiding _ the topic of his personal experiences. Matt knew he noticed simply because he was  _ waiting _ for it to come up, but even he was distracted by some of the more interesting bits of knowledge Lance got into.

By the time Lance started yawning, nobody even had an inkling of their Blue Paladin’s time as the Blue Betrayer, and Coran was ready to break up the fun fest.

“Well, my boy,” The advisor said loudly, “I just need to do a quick scan of you to make sure that everything is okay, and then you’re off to bed. You deserve a good rest.” Lance’s eyes widened a fraction, and he nodded.

“To the cryo-pod? Or through a manual scanner?” He asked, following behind Coran as the older man started walking towards the pods. 

He twisted his mustache as he thought for a moment, “Well, do you have any standing injuries?” He asked, turning his head towards Lance as they walked.

Lance shrugged, “I’m not injured.” Coran thought for a moment. The walk to the pods was quick, and by the time he had come to a decision they were already there.

“Let’s do a pod scan, just to be thorough. It might take up to a varga, but better safe than sorry. I’ll help you into the suit.” He watched Lance carefully, gauging for a reaction. Though the Paladin didn’t react, Coran felt like he might have made him uncomfortable. He added, “Unless you would prefer me to wait over here while you change.”

Lance swallowed hard and nodded, “Yeah, I uh,” He smiled weakly, the last thing he wanted was Coran to feel bad for him, or like he had done something wrong. “I got pretty used to getting in healing suits. ‘Cept Galran ones are black and purple, of course.”

Coran humored Lance’s half-hearted attempt to diffuse the tension with a chuckle, then he handed the young man the healing suit and stepped off to the side, pointedly looking in the opposite direction. Lance had forgotten that the Altean suits were  _ meant _ to be helped into, unfortunately, and his breathing stopped when he realized he was unable to zip it up in the back. 

“Coran.” He said quietly, his voice strained. “You can’t tell the others.” 

The carefree environment of the reunion celebration was long gone, and it felt like a chill had entered the room. With the illusion now broken, the Altean man turned around to help Lance immediately. He was suited up for healing, but his bare back was still on full display. All of the horrible, pale scars that painted his brown skin were visible, and it was all Coran could do not to react. He wanted to scream, cry, and tear the Empire down for doing this to his boy. Lance was a sweet and caring young man,  _ nobody deserved this _ , least of all him.

“Of course.” He finally said, zipping up the suit without further delay. “This is something that is your decision when, _ if at all, _ you tell the others. I’m sorry that you had no choice but to show me.” He took a breath, trying to process what Lance must have gone through for each and every scar. “I’ll see if I can find a healing suit that can be zipped in the front for you. So you don’t have to have help to get into it.” He offered.

Lance climbed into the pod, unusually silent. As the pod closed, Coran heard him whisper, “Thank you.” He tried to pretend like he didn’t see the tears streaking down Lance’s face.

The cryo-pod gave Lance his sedative and began the screening process for internal and external injuries and abnormalities. As soon as the young man was unconscious, Coran rested his back on the pod and slid down it slowly, allowing himself to weep for the trials this boy had been through.


	16. Blue Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Matt have issues, but Shiro is going to work them out. Keith has no idea what's going on but wants to help, and Lotor's fucking pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than normal (7 pages as opposed to my normal 8-10) but I came to a point where I couldn't keep going, or the flow would have been weird.  
> Since about 3 years has passed since canon start, the characters' ages are around:  
> Pidge: 17  
> Lance, Keith, Hunk: 20  
> Allura: 21-22 (older than the Primary Paladins but younger than Shiro)  
> Matt: ~25-26  
> Shiro: 27
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated as always! I love hearing from you guys, what you think about the story and characterizations and everything!  
> Also: Not edited beyond spellcheck!

Lance awoke the next morning much earlier than he had the day before. He felt more well-rested than he had in previous quintents and he was actually able to get right out of bed and head into his bathroom. He washed his face quietly and examined himself. The scar from the acid-spitting hexapod he had earned his first arena victory from was still on his face, cutting through his left eyebrow. He had some color back in his face, though he was still too pale. He knew that the paleness would remain until he went planetside again and was exposed to a star’s rays through something other than the Castle’s protective glass. 

Although he wanted to stay longer and relax into a warm shower, Lance felt that a proper walk around the Castle was needed. He wasn’t entirely sure how long he had been gone, and that was the first thing he needed to find out.

He dressed quickly in his Earth clothing, giving a quick search around his room to see if he could find where he left his jacket. He muttered a swear under his breath when it wasn’t anywhere. The only other place he could think of that he could have left it was inside of Blue and if he was being completely honest with himself… he didn’t want to visit her just yet. 

Choosing avoidance over his jacket, Lance tugged on his blue sleeve and walked out of his room. The first person he wanted to find was  _ Matt _ .

* * *

“Listen Shiro.” Matt whispered, looking over his shoulder. He had an uneasy feeling once he started talking about the Blue Betrayer behind his back. “I really need to talk to you about Lance.”

Shiro smiled, clapping his old classmate on the back, “If he’s said something inappropriate don’t mind it, I’ll talk to him about boundaries again later. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he just doesn’t always know how comfortable new people are with his antics.”

Matt brushed off Shiro’s hand and looked at him, bewildered, “ _ Yeah _ , he said something inappropriate. He fucking threatened to  _ leave _ me behind.” Shiro’s amused expression melted into shock.

“He  _ what _ ?” He shook his head, ready to defend Lance or explain that there must be an explanation. A sliding door interrupted them, and they both turned to see the newcomer to the conversation.

“Yeah, I threatened to leave him.” Lance’s voice left Matt feeling like he had been caught red-handed. The Blue Betrayer leaned against the doorway slightly, folding his arms across his chest. Matt's eyes darted between the other two men quickly, trying to read both Shiro and Lance.

“What the  _ fuck _ Lance?” Shiro snapped, breaking Matt’s stupor and getting both of their attention. Lance’s neutral expression hardened and he glared back at the Black Paladin, someone Matt expected him to shrink back from.

“He fucked up my escape plan, and almost fucked up the  _ second _ one. I threatened him because if he had actually ruined my  _ second _ plan, I wasn’t even sure if there would be an  _ opportunity _ for a third!” His angry gaze shifted and settled on Matt, “I bet he  _ conveniently _ left that part out.” He snapped. Matt shrunk back a fraction. 

Shiro tugged Lance back to face him with his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. Lance wrenched out of Shiro’s grasp but faced him nonetheless. “Lance that doesn’t  _ excuse _ threatening him like that. How can you even  _ begin _ to justify this?”

“I just came to try and talk to Matt and, and you know what?” Lance dipped his head low and barked out a bitter laugh. “Fuck  _ this _ .” He moved to leave and Shiro’s arm shot up, blocking his way. He slipped to the side, dodging the motion easily. “I thought you of all people would have some compassion,  _ Champion _ .” He snarled, exiting quickly. 

Once Lance was gone Shiro took a deep breath and brought his hands to his face. He rubbed his eyes for a moment and sighed heavily. It had only been two days that he wasn’t stressed to the point of exhaustion, but already it was setting back in. 

“That was  _ not _ the right way to react.” He mumbled to himself. Matt stayed where he was, on the brink of sneaking out to avoid facing Shiro’s reaction. The Black Paladin looked up before Matt could move and locked his eyes on him. “Tell me  _ exactly _ what happened while you were captive with Lance. And for  _ god’s sake  _ don’t leave anything out this time.”

* * *

Lance stalked down the halls of the Castle, not really headed anywhere in particular. His mind swarmed with thoughts, and his heart was racing. He did  _ not _ expect to react so strongly towards Shiro. He had really only wanted to talk with Matt about his actions towards him. He didn’t feel like  _ apologizing _ , per say, but he did think his behavior warranted an explanation. One he  _ suddenly _ didn’t feel like giving anymore.

He noticed Pidge in the common room gaming, but passed by quickly to avoid her. He loved her very much, but to face her right now wasn’t something he could do.  _ Especially _ after the confrontation with her brother.

His feet eventually carried him all the way to the training room. He stopped right at the entrance and sighed heavily. He  _ knew _ that training would be difficult for him, considering the time he spent in the arena. That, however, couldn’t keep him from being there when his team needed him, so he decided to start the simulation.

Lance hadn’t been very good at hand-to-hand combat before his capture, so the training sequence began at level one for him, as it always did. There were a total of 10 levels, as far as he knew. With one gladiator rushing at him, Lance grabbed its arm and diverted the momentum to send it flying into the air. It crashed to the ground, and a hole opened beneath it to allow it to fall through.

“ _ Training Level 1 Complete. Training Level 2 Begin? _ ” The system questioned. Lance yelled out an affirmative, and another gladiator rushed at him. 

This one was stronger than the first, and required him to weave away from it before he could strike. It feigned to the left, so Lance followed through with the leftward movement to dodge the attack from the right. It circled him slightly, then went to strike again, and Lance was able to dodge once more, this time hooking his foot between the gladiator’s feet and shoving it down to the ground. 

The hole appeared again and allowed the defeated gladiator to fall through. “ _ Training Level 2 Complete. Training Level 3 Begin? _ ”

Lance breezed through the next three levels, memorizing the patterns of attacks and acting accordingly. Each time the gladiator was allowed to fall through the floor once a hole was opened beneath it. 

At the beginning of level six, Lance found himself fighting two gladiators. He’d never experienced this in training before, as he had never reached higher than level 3 in close combat. He dodged each strike, keeping a careful eye on both robots. He led them around the training room until they had cornered him. He hesitated as they struck with their staffs, and ducked out of the way, allowing them to strike one another. Having been defeated, they fell to the ground and were allowed through a hole that appeared.

Just as he was gearing up for the next level, someone called out, “Pause training sequence.” Lance whirled around to find Keith, holding his jacket. The Red Paladin smiled nervously, and odd expression on his face. “I, uh,” He fumbled over his words, then held the jacket out for Lance, “I washed this for you.” He explained quietly.

Despite his heavy breathing and sweat, Lance laughed and took the jacket from his teammate. “What did it need washing from, Keef?” He asked, grinning and raising an eyebrow at the other man. It was really rewarding to see Keith flush, and stumble over his response.

“I was, it’s, your,” He groaned in frustration, “You’ve been gone!” He barked out, “It was musty and needed a wash!”  Lance smiled a genuine and happy smile, erasing any and all irritation Keith had.

“Thanks, buddy.” He used his free hand to gently touch Keith’s face and pull him in. The Red Paladin leaned in without hesitation, but was disappointed when Lance stopped short of a kiss and rested their foreheads together. Though the moment still felt intimate, Keith couldn’t help but watch the other man through his eyelashes. 

After a few seconds, Lance’s eyes shot open and he jerked away from Keith, shocking him. “Wait, Lan-” He protested, halting by the shame-filled expression now on Lance’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Lance muttered out weakly, “I gotta go.”

* * *

Keith stood, still a bit dazed by Lance’s odd gesture and quick departure. He brushed his bangs out of his face, his fingertips lingering just barely on his forehead where Lance had touched him. The Red Paladin wanted to know what had happened, and why Lance seemed upset, but he felt like chasing him down for an answer would end badly.

He settled for some training, like he had originally come to the training room to do. “Resume Training Sequence.” He called out, taking his blade from its holster and squaring up.

Immediately, three gladiators were brought out of the floor to fight him. Keith whirled around, shocked to see more than one. He had noticed that Lance was training, but he didn’t realize how far he had gotten in the sequence. 

Keith’s thoughts were interrupted by a blow from the left, which left him wheezing. He gasped at air and swung back with his knife, tearing into the chest of the bot that had struck him. He paced around the room, scanning for where the other two went. 

He locked onto one of them, not bothering to look for the other just yet, and ran towards it. Before he could even reach half-way, he was sent flying by a staff going after his legs. He skid to a halt, groaning and cursing himself for not seeing the second bot so close to the first. Keith tried to push himself off the ground, but a sharp pain radiated from his shoulder at the pressure. 

“End-”

“End Training Sequence!” Hunk’s voice echoed through the room, just as Keith was about to do the same. He watched as the gladiators slipped beneath the floor, clearing his path to see his worried friend. “What were you  _ thinking _ , starting on level 7?” Hunk cried, rushing over to help him up. “You could have seriously hurt yourself, not working up to it like that!”

“Yeah.” Keith breathed out, his chest still rising and falling rapidly. He knew exactly what he was thinking, but he had been  _ wrong _ . “I don’t know what I was thinking.” He lied through his teeth, ignoring the realization that he had misjudged Lance’s new close-combat skills.

* * *

“Matt.” Shiro said, his voice a solid tone of pure disappointment. “You are a  _ prick _ .” The rebel officer winced at the tone. Despite his time in space and with the rebellion, he was still hurt by the tone of his former classmate.

“I know.” He replied quietly, hanging his head. “It just didn’t seem,” He shrugged his shoulders, unable to find the right word, “He seemed like he wasn’t quite right, like I couldn’t trust him. How could someone swing so wildly from one personality to another?” He questioned, still grasping for an excuse for his behavior towards Lance.

“Easily. Such as injuring a childhood friend in cold blood to protect them.” Shiro folded his arms, his expression neutral but his voice sharp. Matt’s head dipped again, this time a little lower. He wished he could disappear.

“Not like that, like-”

“No, Matt. Exactly like that. Except in this case you weren’t the one being hurt, you were a bystander watching Lance hurt someone. You don’t know him at all. He doesn’t have the connection to you that I do, and you don’t have the background with him to understand the personal sacrifices he has had to make to survive and come home to us.”

“I-” He stopped in his tracks and cut himself off. He felt like a child being scolded, and he wasn’t far off. He nodded silently, and hoped that nothing set him off. With Shiro so angry with him, instead of on his side for this, he felt childish and emotional.

Unable to stay angry at his friend, Shiro sighed and placed his organic hand on Matt’s shoulder. “He’s not perfect. Even the team had their doubts while he was gone, but he’s come through for us. I understand your skepticism and your concerns, but you have to let us vouch for his character on this. And you  _ can’t _ put him in another situation like that.”

Matt averted his gaze to the wall near Shiro. “I-I’ll talk to him. There are a few things that I think need to get out in the air between the two of us.” He saw Shiro’s concern, “And I never properly thanked him for saving my ass.”

* * *

“He can be pretty childish.” Pidge admitted, her voice ringing out into the empty room a few moments following Matt’s departure. “Because there was such a big age difference between the two of us, it was almost like we were both an only child. So he never got the responsibility thing growing up that comes with a younger sibling.”

Shiro huffed, brushing his white bangs out of his face, “You would have thought he would have learned some over the past what, three years? It’s been a long time.” He approached the young girl, but she walked right by him to fiddle with a monitor.

“Lance has been avoiding me, so I figured Matt must have done something.” She said, typing at the keyboard. It looked like she was scanning the castle for everyone.

“Yeah,” Shiro trailed off, watching as the screen flipped between the different areas. “He was being pretty suspicious of Lance, and trying to stir things up.”

Pidge gave a half shrug and settled on the common area, where the video game set up had been placed. Lance was playing, his demeanor much more subdued than either of his teammates were used to. Matt approached him carefully. “I think it’s because of you.”

Shiro’s attention snapped back to the Green Paladin. “ _ What _ ?” He asked, a bit offended by the accusation. Pidge waved her hand at him.

“Not your  _ fault _ , but  _ because of _ you.” She clarified, “According to Lance’s data, our dad died within a month or two of his capture.” Her voice was low, but once the sensitive topic was past, she picked it back up, “So he’s been alone for most of this time. His behavior towards Lance doesn’t seem to have started until more  _ recently _ , as in, when they rejoined the team. He’s got the familiarity of you and me, and can fall back into old habits.” She gestured to her brother on the screen, “Such as childishness and pettiness.”

* * *

Matt shuffled quietly near Lance, unwilling to disturb him. Lance was well aware of his presence, but made no indication of this. After a few moments of silence, Matt lost his courage and walked away. Lance waited until he could no longer hear his footsteps and he scoffed. “Coward.” He muttered under his breath. He wasn’t sure whether he was talking about himself or Matt, in all honesty.

He had lost his motivation to play the video game and decided he had put off seeing his Lion for long enough. He set his controller down and headed towards the hangars.

As he walked, thoughts swarmed his mind. Was he right all along? Is he really no longer fit to be a Paladin? How will Blue feel about his actions? Would the blood on his hands be too much for Voltron?

Lance felt his chest tightening, and he tried to regulate his breathing. He was  _ almost _ there, he wasn’t going to have another goddamned panic attack just by  _ walking _ to the Lion hangars. The feeling lingered as he approached the doors that led to where the Lions were staying and his heart rate spiked when he stepped foot inside.

All five lions had their particle barriers up. Unusual, but not uncommon for them. Still, as he neared the Blue Lion he felt his heart ache with each step that the barrier did not dissolve.

At twenty feet away he lost the focus to regulate his breathing, leaving him with shaky, anxious inhales.

At fifteen feet away he felt like he wasn’t able to breathe, surrounded by ice cold waters that only grew colder with each passing second.

At ten feet away his shaky breaths felt like they were slowly turning into unadulterated dry sobs.

Five feet away and he didn’t know how much closer he could get without it breaking him beyond repair. He stopped and dry heaved, he hadn’t eaten anything but still he felt sick from the rejection of his Lion.  _ No _ . No. He still hadn’t reached her, even if the distance was impossibly close and she still hadn’t released the barrier. 

He took one step forward, then two. He outstretched his hand, as the Blue Paladin he  _ had _ to be let through. She was his  _ Lion _ , and he was her  _ Paladin _ . Nothing in the universe meant anything if he couldn’t have at least this.

His fingers touched the ice cold particle barrier, and the floodgates opened. He crumpled at the foot of the barrier as ugly sobs shook his figure. He wanted to lash out in anger, but all he could think about was  _ Lotor _ .

“ _ Bastard. You bastard took her away from me _ .” He screamed, in the Galran tongue. It was the only thing he could think to spite the Prince, to say the things he would have been punished for while he was with him, in his own language. “ _ You fucking monster. You horrible fucker, you changed me so much my Lion doesn’t even want me, I fucking hate you. _ ” 

* * *

Lotor was a mess. He was on edge and the soldiers in the fleet had been avoiding him ever since Lance escaped. For a man claiming to be keeping him around for the novelty of a Paladin of Voltron for a companion, they thought he fell apart pretty quickly once he was gone.

“ _ Find Voltron _ .” He snapped at the navigators in the control room. He himself regarded the mapped galaxies with scrutiny, trying to find where the defenders of the universe might be hiding.

He had put so much time and effort into Lance. He had given him a tutor and a combat trainer, he had spent time with him and given him affection each quintent. He had done everything _ right _ , and yet everything had turned out so  _ wrong _ .

Why was Voltron so important to the human? Why was he so eager to return to a team whose values he had utterly betrayed for the sake of survival?  _ Not just survival _ , Lotor thought nastily,  _ He had done everything possible to ensure a more enjoyable stay as well _ .

“ _ Ezor _ ,” Lotor called. The camouflaged woman appeared a few feet away, startling a nearby soldier. She saluted him. “ _ Contact your organization and find out where they are  _ **_now_ ** .” 

Her salute faltered, and a mixture of concern and fear washed over her expression. “ _ Sir, it appears that Lance has told his team about a spy… _ ” She trailed off nervously, then cleared her throat, “ _ The Blade knows that I’m working for you and have cut off all contact with me. _ ”

The Prince’s lip curled up into a sneer, “ _ Then what’s the fucking point of having you around? _ ” Ezor flinched from the near-shout and looked down immediately.

“ _ I-I’m sorry. _ ” She stuttered, backing away a fraction, “ _ I’ll see what I can do about hacking my previous connection to their headquarters, my prince _ .”

Lotor didn’t reply, and she backed away slowly, disappearing as she went. The Prince didn’t know that he was about to lose yet another valuable asset of his.


	17. Reminders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team wants to do everything they can to help Lance, but he doesn't want to drag them down.

Particle barrier activated. Lion unresponsive. Slumped over. Tear-stained face. 

Keith stumbled onto Lance in the most heart-wrenching position, but he knew he couldn’t leave the Blue Paladin, his  _ friend _ stay where he was like that, nearly passed out from crying for god knows how long. 

He scooped Lance into his arms, and was a bit surprised at how heavy he was. Not only was he a healthy weight, something unexpected given his recent return from captivity, but Keith was  _ positive _ that he weighed more than before he left. It wasn’t the first time he had carried Lance, after all. 

“Hey buddy.” Keith said softly. The Blue Paladin sniffled in response. “Let me take you to your room, you could use some rest, man.” He thought he saw Lance nod in response, but the movement was slow and imprecise, leaving his a bit unsure.

Nonetheless, he carried Lance to his room, carefully avoiding the other paladins. He spoke about small, meaningless things on the way there, to try and calm Lance down. 

“-and Coran cleaned like  _ crazy _ while you were gone. Except your room, nobody wanted to touch your room in case we messed it up.” He shrugged, a feat made more difficult by the other man in his arms, “Well I did go in there a few times, but I never touched anything.”

Lance breathed out a weak laugh. The sound made Keith’s heart leap, he  _ was _ cheering him up. “And why did ya go in my room, Keithy-boy?” 

The Red Paladin scoffed at the name. “Your nicknames keep getting worse and worse.” He averted his eyes and added, “And because, cause I missed you.”

“Mmm.” Lance hummed, his eyes closed in content. “Is that why you had my jacket, too?”

Keith was sure that Lance knew the exact reaction that question would get from him, as the Blue Paladin didn’t even peek to see how flushed it made him. Rather than answering, he countered with, “You’re awfully talkative, are you sure you need to be carried?” Lance didn’t reply immediately. Instead, he nuzzled his face into Keith’s chest, effectively keeping the  _ Red _ Paladin  _ red _ . 

“Think of it as a  _ bonding moment _ .” Lance teased, “One that I’ll actually  _ remember, _ seeing as I didn’t suffer from a concussion this time.”

They reached the door to Lance’s room just in time for Keith to sputter over the revelation he was given. “You really  _ don’t  _ remember?” He walked through the door and set a very amused Lance down on his bed. “I thought you were jus-”

“Just being an asshole, yeah I gathered that much.” He interrupted, “But by the time I realized that Coran hadn’t briefed everyone on what was wrong, I didn’t see the point in running to you and explaining why I  _ wasn’t  _ an asshole, since you had already made up your mind on the subject.” Lance finished his explanation with a yawn distorting the last few words. 

Keith exhaled in a half-laugh, shaking his head. “How much of that day do you remember?” He probed, genuinely curious. He never did get the full details on what happened while he was locked out of the Castle with Allura.

Lance scooted to the side of his bed slightly, leaving room to Keith to sit with him. He avoided looking him in the eye and finally replied, “...Well, I didn’t remember a whole lot at first, but I did remember some things that happened before I got knocked out a few days after I was all patched up.” Keith waited patiently for him to continue, despite the Blue Paladin’s clear hesitation. “Rover was a fake.” Lance said quietly, “Of course everyone knows that now and you guys know it was a bomb and everything but I should have realized  _ sooner _ you know? None of that day would have even  _ happened _ if I had just noticed a few ticks sooner, but by the time I  _ did _ figure out what it was it was too late to do anyth-”

“Whoa, whoa,” Keith interrupted. He had meant to let the other man finish his story but it was hard for him to grasp. “You  _ knew _ that the decoy was a bomb before it went off? We only knew that because it, ya-you know,  _ blew up _ .” He waved his hands in a gesture of disbelief, “How the fuck did you figure it out  _ before _ that?”

Lance’s face twisted into a grimace. “It was in the room with the crystal, and Pidge was nowhere near it. Rover didn’t  _ go _ places without her.” He leaned back on the bed and plopped down, visibly tired. “It didn’t matter in the end, I didn’t have enough time to get it away from the crystal. Hell, I barely had enough time to get to  _ Coran _ . He was closer to it, but he had been trying to cheer me up so he didn’t even  _ notice _ the damned thing.” 

He inhaled deeply, tilting his head back and closing his eyes and resting his hand behind his head. “But s’whatever,” he changed his tone to a lighter one quickly, shrugging even in his relaxed position, “we beat the bad guys, I healed up, and apparently shot Sendak’s arm off? I still don’t really believe you guys on that one.”

Keith blinked slowly, processing everything. “His back.” He corrected, “You shot him in the back because he was going after Pidge.” The shock subsided and the Red Paladin shook his head slightly, “It’s amazing that you were able to shield Coran like that, let alone tell that the drone was a decoy.” He started, laying on his side to talk to Lance. “You can’t feel bad about doing the best you could in a bad situation, Lance.”

Lance opened one eye to sneak a peek at the other man. He smiled wryly, “Are we still talking about the drone, Keith?” 

Keith’s expression slipped into concern. “Lance…” Upon hearing his name, the Blue Betrayer promptly turned away from the Red Paladin. “Lance don’t be like that.” He gingerly touched his shoulder, only to snatch it away when Lance immediately tensed up from it. “Please, talk to me.”

“I did what I had to, Kogane.” Lance bit out, slipping back into the name he had called Keith during their time at the Garrison in a wavering voice. “I didn’t do the  _ best _ I could.” He took a deep, albeit shaky, breath, and curled into himself. “I did the only thing I  _ could _ do.”

Unable to touch or comfort him, Keith didn’t know how to proceed. “Do…” He started hesitantly, “Do you want me to leave?” He desperately hoped not. Silence followed. A few seconds passed, then at least a minute. He wasn’t sure how long, maybe five minutes total, but eventually he understood. 

He stood quietly, not wanting to disturb Lance any more than he had already. He walked to the door without another word and used the pad to open the door.

The noise of the sliding doors triggered Lance’s response at long last. “Wait.” He choked out. Keith turned back to him and he felt an unfamiliar sensation flood his system. Lance was still curled on the bed, but from his place near the door, Keith could see his face now.

His face was flushed, especially around his nose and eyes. What were normally bright, clear blue eyes were shrouded in the haziness of tears threatening to spill, and it was unmistakable that Lance was doing everything he could to keep himself from crying.

“Yes?” Keith asked, though he felt that prompting Lance to speak was probably unfair to his teammate. Regardless of fairness, he  _ had _ to know if he was actually wanted there. Fairness was not more important than Lance’s emotional health and well being.

“Please don--” A sob caught in his throat, “Don’t leave me.” He curled up more tightly, as if trying to hide from Keith despite wanting his presence there. The Red Paladin glanced out of the door before promptly shutting it and re-entering Lance’s space.

“C’mon buddy, I got you.” He assured in a hushed tone, sitting on the bed near Lance. After feeling his reaction to being touched, Keith didn’t want to initiate contact again. Instead, he waited for his friend to touch him first, which didn’t take long. Seconds after Keith spoke, the Blue Paladin climbed into his lap, welcoming his comforting embrace.

* * *

Matt maintained an awkward stiffness for the rest of the day. Pidge didn’t comment on it, but both of them were  _ well _ aware that she knew something was up. Shiro also didn’t comment on his strange behavior, but considering his confrontation with the Black Paladin earlier, Matt didn’t want to really engage with him just yet.

He felt like he had stumbled into a very familiar, yet all new dynamic of the people he once knew on Earth. Shiro was his senior, but still a close friend of his. Keith had been his junior, one he didn’t interact with much, but he knew him through stories Shiro told. For Keith, Shiro, and Pidge to be so fiercely protective of someone Matt had never even met before his abduction, made him feel like Lance had weaseled his way into their lives.

Despite this feeling, however, Matt understood that his previous actions had been poorly considered and that he was acting without all of the facts. He had promised Shiro that he would give Lance a proper opportunity to show his true colors, and he intended to follow through with that promise. After all, he  _ had _ been saved by the Blue Betrayer.

* * *

Lance didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but as consciousness drifted back to him he  _ did _ know that he felt safe and comfortable. He felt incredibly well-rested, and still wasn’t quite awake when he started to open his eyes.

Blurry shapes clouded his vision as he shifted in bed. As he blinked away the sleepiness from his eyes he noticed that he wasn’t, in fact, in bed alone. Warm, strong arms held him close from behind. Lance stiffened, his mind scrambling for an answer of who was behind him. 

His pulse spiked in panic and the first person that came to mind was the only one who had held him so intimately since his departure from Earth. He tried to move slowly, but the person behind him nuzzled their face into his back and tightened their grip. In a knee-jerk reaction, Lance drove his elbow back, hitting them as hard as he could.

“ _ Get the fuck off of me _ .” He snarled, ignoring the yelp of pain from behind him. The embrace had been broken from his blow, leaving him able to slip away and face them. Before he could even register Keith’s face, or the expression of shock and concern on his face, Lance had already reared both of his legs up to kick him off of the bed with every ounce of force he could muster.

Keith’s pained groan from the floor brought Lance back to the present. His defensive position melted away as he began to panic for another reason. He had just  _ attacked _ Keith. He had just attacked  _ Keith _ . The man who had stayed with him and comforted him while he cried, without asking any invasive questions at all. 

“Are,” The Red Paladin breathed out, moving his hands from his ribcage to the air to attempt to calm Lance down. “Are you okay?” The concern in his voice made Lance’s guilt dig into his chest deeply. “What the fuck was  _ that _ ?” 

“I-I’m fine,” He replied, still a bit shaken from both mistaking Keith for Lotor and the panic associated with it. “Are  _ you _ okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He leaned forward to look at Keith. “Well, I-I did, but I didn’t mean to, to hurt  _ you _ . I thought you, were uh, you were someone else.” He admitted vaguely, offering a hand to help Keith back up to the bed. 

The Red Paladin took it and rejoined Lance, still regarding him carefully. “Lance, you can talk to me about this stuff.” He bumped his shoulder against him, relieved to see that some contact wasn’t feared. “Especially if it means you’re gonna kick me out of the bed a lot.” He tried to tease, in hopes of lightening his friend’s mood.

A pained expression crossed Lance’s face, but he forced it away with a sly smile, “You’re just trying to get into my bed, huh?” He joked back. “Well,” He started, pointing a finger at Keith and jabbing him gently with it in the chest, “You should at least take me to dinner fir-”

Keith interrupted him by grabbing his hand. Before Lance could even recognize what was happening, his teammate pulled him into a soft, gentle peck on the lips. He barely hesitated once he pulled back, and spoke quietly to him, “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. I’ll do anything you want. I’ll even wake up to getting kicked off the bed every morning until you forget about waking up next to him.”

With a shaky hand, Lance covered his mouth slowly, then looked up at Keith. The Red Paladin’s gaze never wavered, though he was shocked to see how frightened and stunned his teammate looked. When he didn’t speak, Keith spoke again. “If that was too much, or too soon, or  _ anything _ please tell me. I don’t want to scare you, and I’m sorry for just kissing you without saying anything I’m sure there was a better way to do that and I just got so caught up in how you we-”

As Keith spoke, Lance processed what had happened. He watched as Keith tried to explain himself and as he apologized for being inconsiderate with his advances, and he understood what he meant by getting caught up. He interrupted the Red Paladin by grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him in for another kiss. A  _ real _ kiss, in Lance’s book. Not one that middle schoolers sneak in passing. 

He pulled away after only a few seconds and smiled. He knew it felt a bit forced, but none of the Galra could ever tell the difference, so he doubted anyone here would, either.

“Don’t fucking  _ do _ that.” Keith chastised, “I can  _ see _ how uncomfortable you are, don’t  _ do _ that to yourself, Lance.” His eyes softened when he noticed Lance’s surprise. “I  _ like _ kissing you, and of  _ course _ I want to kiss you more.” He admitted, “But I like you feeling comfortable and safe  _ way _ more than kissing you.”

Lance broke out into a wide, genuine smile. “Keith, you’re amazing.” The grin faltered slightly as he remembered something he hadn’t addressed yet. “But, there’s some things I never actually told you or the team, and I need to come completely clean about it.”

Keith brushed a bit of Lance’s hair to the side, although the gesture did little more than show his fondness, “Should I gather up the team?”

* * *

Lance looked around the room, his eyes landing squarely on Keith. He wasn’t sure where the two of them stood now, or if they would even stay standing after this.

“I did awful things.” He admitted. The entire team was in front of him, with various expressions on their faces. He tried his best to ignore the looks of pity, concern, and conflict among his friends as he pushed on, “I helped Prince Lotor secure alliances. I helped him negotiate with star systems. I fought and killed in the arena. And I-” His voice cracked and his gaze shot down to the floor. He was in the middle of a confession, and he couldn’t make his team feel  _ sorry _ for him, even accidentally, to sway their reactions to his crimes. He composed himself within seconds, blinking away any tears threatening to appear. “I killed an innocent woman.”

Matt froze. He didn’t know how to handle this person in front of him. All of the others around him seemed to have… expected something like this. Though they looked pained, none of them reacted actively. He didn’t know what to feel. Was he guilty for misjudging Lance? Or did this confession only further prove that the Blue Betrayer was pushing for their unwavering trust? No, he had promised not to assume the worst.

“It was the same day that you made contact with Prince Lotor for the first time. I had killed her only hours before, and I will never regret anything in my entire life more.” His eyes glassed over as he remembered that day. Many regrettable and terrible things happened, but he lived. “I was too scared to help her, even though she came to me for help. She  _ knew _ I was a Paladin of Voltron, and asked for me to come with her, so that her home system could help reunite me with you guys. I just, I w-” 

A flood of emotion hit him, bringing him back to the moment that he made his decision to betray Uvio. He swallowed hard and blinked through the moisture forming in his eyes, “I was so fucking  _ scared _ that it was a trap. And it  _ was  _ but I still don’t feel any better because I played  _ right into _ that bastard’s hand and I killed her.”

The team shifted uneasily, expecting Lance to stop there. But he continued on, feeling the pressure to explain it so they could fully  _ understand _ . He knew it could very well change everything between him and the team, between him and  _ Keith _ , but they deserved to know. He  _ had _ to make them understand what he had done.

“All I did was turn her in, and I thought it would be done, but then  _ he _ took her into the ring, and made a  _ spectacle  _ of it. He offered me the option of killing her and there was a choice but he  _ wanted _ me to kill her and I did it. I took the gun, I took  _ the Blue Bayard _ and I shot her right between the fucking eyes and I see her every night when I fall asleep at night because  _ she deserved better _ .” Lance felt hollow, as if his confession had drained the emotion right out of him.

“Lance…” Pidge stepped forward, trying to comfort him, “You had to do a lot of hard things to  _ survive _ , and none of us blame you for it.” He shook his head in response, but she pressed on. “Of  _ course _ everyone wants to be able to say that if they were put in your situation that they wouldn’t have killed her, but you actually  _ were _ , and you did what you had to in order to be able to come  _ home _ to us.”

He shot his eyes around the room, and was surprised to see the agreements from his entire team. Even Matt had nodded slightly, an approval that Lance had never expected to receive. The rebel officer stepped forward.

“I,” He cleared his throat nervously, “I had my doubts about you, Lance. A  _ lot _ of them, actually. But,” He hesitated, averting his eyes momentarily, “I was wrong. You’re resilient and more trustworthy than I could have ever imagined. As much as everyone hates to admit it, casualties in war happen, and the only thing we can do is minimize them.” Matt looked at Lance for a moment, silently and sorrowfully. He had severely misjudged him, and it was something that had affected both of them, as well as their interactions with Shiro, immensely

Lance nodded slowly, a ghost of a smile formed on his lips. “Thank you guys for trying to make me feel better,” His eyes darkened and the wisp of what could have been a smile disappeared, “but this isn’t something I should ever feel better about. It was wrong, and there’s nothing that can change that.”

The team clammed up, looking to one another for how to react. Ultimately, none of them did. They sat in near silence for a few moments, before Lance took pity on their discomfort. 

He exhaled and brought a weak smile to his face, changing the subject entirely, “So does anyone know why Keith had ahold of my jacket?” He joked.

As Pidge, Hunk, and Allura leapt to explain the situation to Lance, Keith tried desperately to intervene and defend himself from his embarrassment.  During the commotion, The older team members watched Lance carefully. 

Coran noticed how he seemed a bit more well rested, but still had ugly, dark circles under his eyes. He knew he would have to keep the boy away from the training room and cooped up for a few days with plenty of food to help get him back into full health. Though, he had to admit, he was surprised at how healthy his scan came out as. Nutrition was actually better than it had been before he was captured, but the stress his body and mind were put under caused multiple irregularities in his system.

Shiro paid close attention to Lance’s interactions with the team. He laughed and joked with his friends, but the Black Paladin could easily see the disconnect. His smiles didn’t reach his eyes, though the effort he put into keeping the others from worrying was admirable. It tore Shiro apart to watch the small flinches every time someone grabbed Lance too quickly, or the fear that flashed through his eyes when someone came towards him from behind. He felt like  _ something _ needed to be done, but that holding a meeting about him without his permission would only worsen the situation if he found out. 

Matt struggled to find a way to describe the scene in front of him. If he were being honest, it looked very similar to when Lance would entertain the Prince in front of the cell Matt was being held in. Though he gave off a feeling of being uncomfortable, every other physical indication was that he was enjoying the attention and interaction. The rebel didn’t know what to make of it, he simply didn’t know enough about Lance from  _ before _ to tell how normal this behavior was.

* * *

Keith sat near Lance at dinner that night, eating the food that was left over from the night before. He was relieved to still have the  _ real _ food, but Lance felt sick at the sight of it. He picked at his food, eating just enough to curb his hunger. 

“Lance,” Allura suggested after the team was done eating, “Why don’t you and Hunk clean up? You two haven’t had a lot of time to spend together, and it might make you feel better to get back into the regular castle routine.”

He laughed in response, “Isn’t normal castle routine for me to do everything I can to get  _ out _ of work?” The Princess scoffed, he was right. “But I  _ do _ like the idea for getting some alone time with that  _ Hunk  _ over there.” He joked, throwing an exaggerated wink towards the Yellow Paladin.

The others split off to do their respective chores, leaving Lance with his friend to collect the dishes and clean up the dining room. Pidge and Matt were given the tasks of cleaning and defragmenting the computers around the castle, and Shiro had to check for laundry and trash around the common areas. Coran set off to run diagnostic checks and maintain the machinery of the ship, and Allura wandered through the various storage rooms, in search of anything that hadn’t been inventoried and organized.

Lance looked to Hunk and sighed dramatically, “I’ve been back for like two days and you guys are already making me  _ work _ ?” He whined playfully, dragging the last bit out. Hunk’s concerned expression surprised him.

“If you’re not feeling well you can go do something else, bud.” He suggested, “You don’t have to stay I can handle it.” Lance’s strained smile dissolved into shame, he hadn’t meant to make Hunk feel bad or sorry for him.

“No, no, big guy, I got you. I was just joking.” He assured him, turning to start gathering dishes. The team was very good about putting the scraps into the ship’s compost chute, so there wasn’t really anything gross on any of the plates. It was something he had always thought was neat, how the castle made use of all of their waste products.

Hunk eyed him with skepticism, but was unable to maintain the stare while cleaning. He hummed softly as he worked alongside Lance. His friend’s increasingly shaky movements went largely unnoticed by him. 

His pleasant mood was stripped away from him when he bumped into Lance as they walked to the kitchen area. All of the dishes in Lance’s arms came crashing down, leaving a tense and frightened man above them. Hunk jerked back instinctively, and reached to see if his friend was okay.

The movement sent Lance flying back. “ _ Don’t touch me _ .” He snapped angrily. His eyes were wide and unnerved, and although it was spoken in English, Hunk  _ knew _ that was an alien accent in his voice. The sudden outburst left the Yellow Paladin feeling like he had done something wrong, though he didn’t understand what.

“Lance?” He said quietly, “Are you okay?” As if coming out of a daze, Lance shook his head slightly and focused his gaze back on his friend. The crazy look in his eyes subsided and he came back to the present. It took him a moment to process what Hunk had asked, but after a few seconds he nodded slowly.

“...Yeah.” He whispered, “I-I’m fine. I need to, I need, I’ll go get a broom.” He sounded defeated and numb, and it set off alarm bells throughout Hunk’s mind. Lance didn’t  _ act _ like this. It wasn’t  _ normal _ , and he didn’t like how scared he was over a few broken plates.

“Hey buddy,” He called, just as Lance started to turn to leave for the broom. Lance stopped and looked at Hunk, giving him a weak smile for consolation. “Don’t feel so bad over a few broken plates. Nobody will be angry.”

Lance nodded slightly, then left for the broom. Hunk was right, nobody would be angry over a few broken plates. Not  _ here _ anyway. He was safe here, with no one to control or hurt him.

* * *

The next week was a carefully orchestrated dance between the team and Lance. Each time the team attempted to pull information about Lotor’s treatment of him, Lance would dodge the subject with expertly maneuvered topic changes. He would keep up a facade of being fine, even going so far as to make the team doubt their concerns for him. Those concerns were kept alive, however, by each and every time Lance would fall into a memory triggered by an average activity. 

“Lance, why have you been avoiding the Blue Lion?” Allura asked. After watching the Blue Paladin actively avoid trainings involving his Lion, the Princess had decided that observations and waiting him out were  _ not  _ viable options. She needed to know  _ now _ what was going on.

“What?” He asked, his voice a bit higher than normal. He had whirled around to face her, on his way to what looked might be the training room. The rest of his teammates were out in their Lions, all under the impression that he wasn’t feeling well enough to fly. “I haven’t-”

“Lance.” Allura’s voice offered no chance of talking his way out of it. His heart was still racing from her sudden appearance, but he knew that he didn’t have to be afraid of her. Yet, the fear from seeing a head of white hair so abruptly remained.

He hung his head and looked up at her. She folded her arms, clearly adamant on receiving an answer. His expression became pained and he sighed, there was no way around the truth.

“The Blue Lion  _ rejected _ me.”

* * *

Quintents of tidying and planning lead Lotor up to being properly kempt and prepared for his official attack. He called up a soldier with a flick of his wrist. The young man saluted his silently, waiting on an order.

“ _ Set a course for the system Voltron is in. Contact me the tick that we’re close enough for an open transmission. I wish to see my companion, and I’ll do so  _ **_before_ ** _ I collect him from his kidnappers. _ ” He glanced towards another nearby soldier. “ _ And you, there, ensure that any and all information available about Lance is emphasizing that he was taken by Voltron  _ **_against_ ** _ his will. _ ”

The two saluted their Prince and scurried off to fulfill their orders. Acxa approached him hesitantly. She waited for him to acknowledge her presence before she spoke. He glanced at her, which she took as her cue.

“ _ My Prince. I know that you, _ ” She hesitated a fraction of a tick, “ **_cared_ ** _ for the Blue Paladin, but perhaps putting so much effort into retrieving him is not the best course of action _ .”

The Galran Prince’s hands curled into fists. “ _ Excuse me? _ ” He asked, his voice low and threatening. She ignored the gesture and opened her mouth to reiterate, but was cut off before she could even begin by a loud slam. The Prince had swung his fist to the side as hard as he could to release some of his frustration. “ _ I will not have my things taken from me, least of all my  _ **_companion_ ** **.** ” He snarled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! I love hearing you guys' thoughts on the chapters, and what you think will happen, things like that! Thank you for your continued support for this story!


	18. Unexpected Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith eavesdrops and Lance speaks to Coran about something. Hunk and the Holts decipher a message that leads them to an interesting source,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the nice comments about last chapter! Especially for the people whose names I keep seeing over and over, I'm so happy that each and every one of you guys enjoy this story so much! What was originally going to be a 10 chapter fic is coming to an end, and will be a 20 chapter fic! I hope you guys enjoy this and the next (and last) two chapters!  
> P.S. I read each and every comment at least like 3 times cause they all make me so happy and keep me updating! Thanks again for everyone's support!  
> If you want to talk to me or suggest a fic, check out my tumblr: lightpinkthecolorofmyaura

Prince Lotor had been back to his normal self for a few quintents now, but the entire fleet was on edge from his prior outrage at losing his companion. Word had spread through the nearby galaxies that the Blue Betrayer had been taken hostage by his former team. Much to the Prince’s displeasure, however, rumors of the  _ true _ cause of his absence were  _ also _ circulating. Much of the Galran Empire had decided whether they thought the Prince’s companion had been kidnapper or escaped, though none would speak their opinion near Lotor. 

Ezor had not been seen in nearly a turn, but none of those who noticed wanted to be the person to bring that fact to Prince Lotor’s attention, lest they spark another violent rage. Despite her absence, as well as the Blue Betrayer’s, the Galran fleet was still in impeccable running order and they were very close to arriving at the last location Voltron was sighted at.

* * *

“I don’t understand, Coran.” Allura confided in a hushed tone. She had hurried straight to her advisor after confronting Lance. “The Blue Lion is the most accepting and trusting of the Lions, why would it suddenly  _ reject _ Lance? Especially seeing as he has been the  _ most _ connected of all of the Paladins. I just  _ don’t _ understand!”

The older man sighed, his mind dredging up the sight of ugly, pale, and poorly-healed scars across Lance’s back. “Princess, perhaps the problem  _ isn’t _ the Blue Lion.” His expression softened and his chest ached at the truth, “Perhaps the problem is  _ Lance _ .”

An offended squawk left her mouth before she could stop it. “ _ What _ ?” She knew that Lance was Coran’s  _ favorite _ Paladin, he was like a second son to him. She also knew that there was  _ nothing _ wrong with  _ any _ of her Paladins, least of all  _ Lance _ . Coran opened his mouth to explain, but the Princess spoke over him, “Coran, that is  _ completely _ inappropriate. Lance is still the same person, and the Lion shouldn’t reject its Paladin for no reason. He hasn’t ch-”

“ _ Allura _ .” Coran’s quiet, but firm voice left the Princess a bit taken aback. Her advisor hadn’t spoken to her like that in  _ periods _ . Not since she was a young child. “There are things I know that I cannot share with you for the sake of Lance’s privacy. That being said, I can assure you, the trials he faced during his time within the Empire were  _ far _ worse than any of us could imagine. The only one with a proper understanding could be Shiro.” Allura’s hand flew to her mouth, and his firm expression eased up, “Princess, I know it’s difficult to accept, but the Blue Lion requires a Paladin who is equally as accepting and trusting as she. Does Lance seem like he can accept and trust, as he is right now?”

Slowly lowering her hand, the Princess questioned softly, “Will he ever pilot again?”

Coran’s grim expression was the only answer given, but the only one necessary.

* * *

“-the weakest points are here, here, and there.” Lance explained, pointing out the various ventilation shafts within the main ship. While planet-side, they would be opened to allow air to be filtered in for the crew, but in space, they were the weakest areas on the hull. 

Pidge nodded vigorously and typed her notes down. “And what about the language? Are we practicing today?” She regretted asking when she saw his eyes narrow slightly. It was like he had wanted to flinch, but refrained from doing so.

“ _ If that’s what you’d like to do, small one _ .” He joked, switching effortlessly from his American accent to the rough Galran one.

“ _ Yes _ .” Pidge responded, also in Galran. Her tone was awkward even in the single word, but she didn’t know enough to continue her response. “Also fuck you, I’m not that small.”

Lance threw back his head and laughed, then spoke again, “ _ What’s said is said, what’s heard is heard. _ ” Pidge’s eyebrows crumpled together in frustration.

“I…” She groaned, “I don’t  _ get  _ it, tell me again.” Lance repeated the phrase in Galran, only to be met with her frustrated groan again. “ _ Explain _ !” She barked out, once more butchering the accent.

“Of course the first three Galran words you learn are ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ and ‘explain.’” Lance complained. He looked at Pidge and smiled, “I said, ‘What’s said is said, what’s heard is heard.” He shrugged his shoulders and thought for a moment, “It’s uhh,” His hands moved around to help him in the struggle of finding the appropriate English idiom to match. “Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to.” He said simply, finally finding the one.

Pidge stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. “Why is this so  _ hard _ ?” She complained, her voice slipping easily into an annoying whine at the end. Lance shrugged quickly.

“Maybe because you insist on learning the  _ hard _ way, and not through like, actual help?” He offered. It was met with an angry glare. “Oh that’s right,” He said, feigning a spark of inspiration, “You said that languages would come easy to you because you know four. SQL, Java, HTML, and...Pity?”

“ _ Python _ .” She corrected with an irritated tone and a whine to match. “I  _ thought _ it would be easy!” She insisted.

Lance scoffed, “Yeah and the guy who knows like five  _ verbal and written _ languages would know  _ nothing _ on that topic.” He said, faking agreement. Pidge huffed, a bit upset to be shown up, but it was short lived. She dissolved into laughter, recognizing how silly her notion of learning  _ human _ languages would be easy because she knew  _ programming _ languages.

* * *

A few hours later, Lance found some free time and spent it near the cryopods. He tinkered with one of the control pads, trying to figure out how to access his records.

“Need help?” Coran asked, seemingly coming from nowhere. Lance jumped back from the panel defensively. The Altean man held his hands up in a casually disarming gesture. 

Lance let out an awkward laugh to mask his reaction. “Uh, yeah actually.” He said, “I need to get to my scan records so I can see them.” Coran nodded knowingly and moved slowly towards the panel. Lance stepped aside at the movement to allow him access.

He typed at the panel, with Lance watching carefully for future reference. The ability to read Altean made the entire process much simpler, even if he wasn’t as good at reading it as Coran or Allura. “Here you are,” Coran presented the panel to Lance, after having gone into no less than 5 sub-folders. “We keep these records a bit deep in the system to avoid someone deleting one by accident. If you’re at your records, it’s because you went  _ looking _ for them, you see?”

Lance nodded, and looked over the different information. It had outlined every one of the injuries it could detect. All of his visible scars were there, as well as each time something had been broken. The line about his broken jaw made the side of his face ache. That was one of the hardest blows to the face he’d ever taken. 

He scanned everything and was confused when he couldn’t find what he was looking for. “Something wrong?” Coran asked, concerned at Lance’s expression.

He hesitated, and looked to Coran before looking back to the screen. “Well, do the pods,” Lance brought his hand to the back of his neck, obviously uncomfortable with what he was trying to say. “Do the pods automatically scan for  _ everything _ ?” He asked, rather vaguely.

Coran was silent for a moment, trying to decipher exactly what Lance was asking. He knew that the boy was looking for  _ something _ specifically, but wasn’t wanting to say  _ what _ .

“Yes, all general injuries, major diseases, and mental abnormalities are reported.” He answered, hoping that it would cover what he was asking for. When Lance fidgeted in his stance, Coran suspected that it wasn’t specific enough. He probed a bit, hoping to help, “What is it you’re looking for?”

Lance’s eyes were fixed on the ground, “How long does it take the pod to detect....” His voice grew softer as he spoke, to the point of being inaudible at the end. Coran felt more and more uncomfortable as he had to drag more information out of Lance. He knew it was difficult for him, but he still needed enough detail to help him.

“To detect what?” Coran asked for clarification. 

The young man swallowed hard and lifted his head, still pointedly avoiding eye contact. Much more clearly, he repeated, “How long does it take the pod to detect sexually transmitted infections?” His face flushed, equal parts embarrassed and ashamed.

Suddenly more aware of just how difficult this entire process was for the Paladin, Coran stilled. Lance had said he was sleeping with Lotor in their video transmissions, but it wasn’t something that any of the team had dwelled on at the time. There were simply more important things to worry about. He himself had nearly forgotten about the comment.

“Different ones take longer to show up, but within a few cycles we should know if you’re completely in the clear.” He replied, trying not to allow any negative tone into his voice. He was  _ disgusted  _ at the actions of the Galran Prince.

Lance suppressed a flinch at Coran’s response. He knew that the older man wouldn’t be thrilled to hear what he was looking for, but the muted tone of disapproval rang clear through his ears. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled out. Coran reeled, his expression lighting up in surprise.

“No, no, my boy this is nothing for you to apologize for. This is  _ absolutely _ not something you have control over.” He explained, now aware that his tone was not what he had meant for it to be.

Lance shrunk into his hood, which was bunched around his neck. “I  _ did _ , though, Coran. I  _ did _ have some control over it.” Coran stared at the boy, his concern increasing in size steadily.

“Lance-”

“I didn’t  _ have _ to sleep with him. He didn’t force me to, he waited for me to make the first move and I, I fucking  _ did _ .” He regaled, letting out a deep exhale, “He only initiated things  _ after  _ it started and he would have stopped if I told him to but I didn’t because I knew it would be easier if I just did what he wanted from me.” Tears threatened to spill as his emotions reached sky-high levels, “How can I even justify being so scared of him and feeling so fucked up over this if I  _ chose to do it _ .” Tears streaked down his face and a choked sob escaped him.

Coran held his arms out for him, a gesture greatly appreciated. Lance cried on Coran’s chest, comforted by his similarity to his uncle, or father. Nearly a grown man, but still a boy forced into a war he was unprepared for, Lance didn’t realize how much he had been bottling up.

“You didn’t choose anything, Lance.” Coran assured quietly, rubbing small circles in the back of the crying boy. “You were a prisoner, and for a long time. Lotor made it clear from the beginning what he wanted from you, didn’t he?” Lance nodded, tears soaking into Coran’s shirt. “He made it seem like you had a choice, like you were the one who made the first move. But that doesn’t mean that you had as much control of the situation as you think you did.”

Lance pulled away slowly. “I to-I told him I loved him. But I really fucking hate him.” He admitted. He felt extremely vulnerable, he wasn’t sure he wanted anyone to know about that.

“Every single one of us hates him.” Coran agreed, “Not even for what he’s done to the universe, but for what he’s done to you.” He set a hand slowly on Lance’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “You will be okay, maybe not today or even for a little while, but one day, you will be okay again.”

* * *

Shiro looked down and Keith disapprovingly. His arms were crossed and he hoped his glare conveyed the same amount of anger that he was feeling. Keith, on the other hand, stood quickly from his crouched position and began walking away from the Black Paladin without even acknowledging his presence.

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro snapped, following mere footsteps behind him, despite the brisk pace he had set. “Don’t fucking walk away from me, you know that was  _ wrong _ .”

Now far enough away from the cryopods, the Red Paladin spun on his heel and replied defensively, “I had to do  _ something _ . And it’s not like I went there with the  _ intent _ to eavesdrop.” 

Shiro inhaled to calm himself, then exhaled sharply, “Regardless of your  _ intent _ , it was a gross invasion of privacy.” He pointed at Keith’s chest as he gained a bit of righteous momentum, “You could plainly see how difficult it was for him to talk to Coran, arguably the person he’s most comfortable with, and you just listened into their entire conversation.”

Keith looked away, “Well, I missed the very first part. I only listened in once they mentioned medical records.” He felt like a child being scolded.

Exasperated, Shiro raised his hands in outrage, “So  _ what _ .” He crossed his arms again, “It’s shady, and do you  _ really _ think that being sneaky about his privacy is going to win you any favors?” 

“I’m not looking for  _ favors _ , for fuck’s sake, I want to know what’s going on, so I can actually be  _ helpful _ , do you seriously think tiptoeing around him is making him  _ feel _ better? He just wants things to go back to  _ normal _ , like the rest of us!” Keith barked back, upset at Shiro’s reaction. He was supposed to be understanding, not critical.

The older man groaned, “I didn’t mean it like  _ that _ , it’s an expression and you  _ know it _ .” He replied, “And Lance isn’t stupid, he  _ knows _ that things can’t just go back to normal without some time and help! If we’re not considerate of his trauma we could trigger some nasty memories.  _ Do you want that _ ?” Keith huffed angrily, “I didn’t fucking think so.” 

His tone softened and he dropped his harsh expression. “Keith, I  _ get _ that it’s hard to see what’s wrong with Lance. He’s trying so hard to be the same person as before, but he has to face this. And it’s so much harder to face when everyone around him is just trying to have him be the same as before. I know patience isn’t your strong suit. But he’s making progress on his own, let’s not push him to get over it sooner.” He gestured towards the direction they had walked away from, “Coran said it better. It will take time, but he  _ will _ be okay again.”   


* * *

A ping on the monitor brought a few of the team members to the control room. Pidge, Matt, Hunk, and Allura examined the source location and type of frequency to try and establish  _ what _ exactly it was.

“That’s definitely a Galran signal, but it’s difficult to determine from what.” Allura said, noting the wavelengths on the frequency itself. Matt nodded along, and typed at a small tablet computer he had been given.

“It doesn’t match any of the known Blade frequencies, so it’s unlikely that it’s from an ally, but it also doesn’t look like a normal Galran Empire frequency.” He explained, glancing back at his tablet. He shrugged, and deferred to Hunk and Pidge.

The two shrugged in response. The Yellow Paladin replied, “I’m more of a mechanical guy, Pidge has been focusing more on the frequencies than me.”

Effectively put in the spot, Pidge blanked. “Uhh.” She vocalized, “I dunno.” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and carefully scrutinized the ping. “I think...I think it might be a request to video?” She suggested, looking more deeply into the code of the message.

Hunk squinted, “Yeah, that piece there looks like a reversible code that we can use to trace the source…”

“And transmit an open channel for a video connection.” Matt finished, impressed. “I bet it’s a Blade member in a tight spot. Incoming signals are easier to mask than outgoing ones, so this is a sneaky little thing.”

There was a loaded silence. None of them wanted to suggest it first, but they all knew the next course of action. Nearly a full minute passed, before one of them cracked.

“We should open the channel.” Matt finally said, swinging the door for discussion wide open.

“Definitely.” Hunk contributed, “But only after we’ve secured the line. They can’t be allowed access to anything but video and audio.” He knew it would be a near given, but it was important to remember something so vital.

“Naturally,” Allura agreed, “In the event that something should go wrong, or that it was a ploy to get into our systems to begin with.” The Princess smiled at Hunk, “Ever digilent.” She praised.

He smiled back at her, then turned to the Holt siblings. “The two of you should set up the secure line, I’ll go round up the others, so we can all be present.”

Matt shifted uneasily. “Even…”

“ _ Especially _ Lance.” Hunk interrupted. “I’m going to assume that was a concern for his wellbeing, and I’m gonna go ahead and say that if we exclude him from these things it will hurt him more.” He turned to leave, “Lance is a big boy. He can decide if he wants to stay or not, but we’re his teammates, not his guardians. We don’t take away his decisions.”

The oldest Holt sibling glanced at his feet. He wasn’t sure  _ where _ his concern was placed in the question he was about to ask. It was a bit of both, had he been able to articulate it. His trust for the Blue Betrayer--no, for Lance-- had slowly been growing, but his fear had not completely subsided. He knew how dangerous Lance was, but he also knew now how dedicated he was to his team and that Matt was now a  _ part _ of that team. He supposed that his trust would eventually solidify and that the fear would dissipate with time.

It didn’t take long for the secure line to be created, or for the remaining members of Team Voltron to assemble in the control room. When they all were present, Allura explained the situation.

“There was a coded message that we received earlier today. Pidge, Hunk, and Matt, were able to decipher its meaning. Whoever sent it is of Galran origin, but unable to send a proper outgoing signal. Within the code, there was a way to clearly track and respond to the original signal, creating an open channel with the sender. Matt and Pidge have created a secure line, and we were waiting to begin until everyone was here. Any questions?”

“So,” Lance held his hand up momentarily as he spoke, “We have no idea who we’re calling?” He asked, pointing out what most of them had purposely ignored.

“Well…”

“Why are we calling them? We don’t know who they are, or why they’re calling, or what benefit it gives us.” He continued, “Are you  _ sure _ this is the best idea?” His skepticism was clear and valid, leaving the others at a loss.

Matt spoke up to defend their actions, “The biggest reason  _ I _ want to contact them is because of the odd signal.” He explained, “It’s not a normal Blade frequency, but it’s also not a normal Empire frequency. I’m concerned that it might be a Blade member who’s in a tight spot.”

Lance stared at Matt. A tick passed, then two. “Gotcha.” He replied, nodding curtly. He folded his arms and looked to Allura to continue.

She nodded and cleared her throat, “Very well then. Unless anyone else would like to speak, Pidge, could you open the channel?” The Green Paladin nodded quickly and typed a short combination into the control pad.

The main screen buzzed slightly, before a poor video signal began feeding through. There was an alien library before the team, with several books strewn about the desk where the feed was coming from.

Instantly, Lance recognized the study and knew that the signal had been sent from a personal tablet, similar to the one Matt had. No sooner had he made the connection, a Galran man appeared on the screen.

He was humming quietly, re-shelving the books and making notes on a pad. He had small, protruding horns from his rough reptilian skin. Lance’s eyes widened at the sight. The only thing different from how he remembered the man was that he now donned small, circular spectacles. The silver glinted in the light as he organized the books.

Unable to contain his recognition, Lance cried out, “ _ Navil! _ ” The man spun around and his face lit up at the sight of the open connection, “ _ Navil, it was you who sent the message? _ ” Lance spoke quickly, “ _ What’s going on, are you okay? _ ”

The team followed the conversation slowly, their translators processing the language less effectively due to how new it was in the system.

“ _ Lance! _ ” Navil responded excitedly, “ _ I hate to risk this to contact you, but you must know what the Prince is planning. He’s gone mad since your escape _ .” His excitement dulled into a solemn tone.

“ _ What do you mean _ ?”

“ _ There are Empire-occupied planets near your location. The Galran rule is not total, but several outposts exist. He plans to draw Voltron out. He wishes to contact you first, to attempt to have you return willingly, but he knows you won’t, and has prepared a slaughter of the nearby planets’ populations. _ ” His old tutor explained, “ _ I had never had a reason to doubt the nature of our Empire, but the more I see the destruction it has caused first hand, the more I understand the rebels.” _

“Navil, is it?” Allura asked, cutting into the conversation. Lance nodded to her, and she continued, “Please, we can notify these people if we know who is in danger. Who is he planning to attack if Lance does not return?”

Though the question was not meant to, it felt like he was being jabbed for his escape. Lance wondered why it was him, why the Prince wanted  _ him _ and why was he willing to slaughter entire civilizations for  _ him _ . In his thoughts, he missed Navil rattling off several planets’ names.

“ _ Lance _ .” The Galran man directed his attention back to his old student, “ _ I am sorry for everything that the Prince put you through. I still consider you a friend of mine, and will attempt to sneak off when the Prince is most distracted, if only your team is willing to house me. _ ”

He turned to his team with pleading eyes, met with an exchange of hesitation. They muttered amongst themselves before giving gestures of approval. Lance grinned and turned back to Navil. “ _ You are welcome among the rebellion, my friend _ .”

“ _ I’m very relieved. The Prince has been much less tolerant and more violent as more time passes, and I’ve begun to see the true damage the Empire is causing to the universe. I want no more part of-” _

A slamming door cut Navil off, and he backed away from the camera, sliding books in front of it as quickly as he could.

“ **_Navil_ ** .” An angry voice shouted out, “ _ Where are you _ ?” Lance’s blood ran cold at the familiar voice. His mind raced for an explanation. Had Navil betrayed him? Was it a setup to begin with? The former Blue Paladin felt himself crouch to the floor, covering his mouth with his hands in fear. It was like a wave of muscle memory had collided with him at the mere sound of the Prince’s voice. If he was silent, perhaps the Galran Prince wouldn’t notice the device.

“ _ Just, just reorganizing my library, my Prince _ !” The scholar called. He wasn’t visible past the stack of books, but footsteps were heard, both near the device and farther away. The farther footsteps grew closer.

“ _ Tell me, Navil, where is your communicator? _ ” The Prince asked, sounding much closer. “ _ You see, the ship received a rather,  _ **_odd_ ** _ signal that nearly went unnoticed in the control room. Had I not recognized the code to a personal communicator, it might have been completely overlooked. _ ”

Navil did not answer, and the team watched in horror as the books blocking the device were swept onto the floor in one swift movement. The Prince and Navil were both suddenly visible, and Lance bolted to Hunk. The movement caught Lotor’s eye.

“ _ Oh Lance. _ ” He called sweetly, as if seeing him were a pleasant surprise. “ _ I hadn’t expected to speak to you until next quintent, but I suppose now is as good as then. _ ” He watched as his companion clutched the Yellow Paladin’s arm and hid his face like a frightened child. The sight of Lance trembling in fear gave him a sick sense of satisfaction.

“Fuck  _ off _ .” Keith sneered, taking the Prince’s attention off of his teammate. Unimpressed, Lotor gave him a stare of contempt.

“ _ You’re nothing but a filthy mutt, don’t you dare presume to speak to me. _ ” Lotor’s voice was icy as he gave Keith one more look over before returning his gaze to Lance. “ _ Is that  _ **_really_ ** _ the man you thought you loved? Come back to me, my love, I’m much more suitable than him _ .”

Hunk felt his friend squeeze his arm tighter before releasing entirely. Lance marched up to the screen on pure adrenaline and pointed at the Galran Prince.

“ _ You are a vile, disgusting excuse of a person, I went along with what you wanted because I knew you were touch-starved and easily manipulated. I bided my time until I was able to get rid of your sorry ass and return to my  _ **_team_ ** .” His voice gradually grew louder until he was nearly shouting. It was a form of venting he had not realized would help, though the opportunity to tell Lotor his true feelings had never really presented itself.

Smugness overcame his fear of seeing Lotor when the man’s face contorted into ugly, childish anger. He hadn’t gotten what he wanted, and he looked like he was on the verge of a tantrum.

As quickly as the anger came, it disappeared from the Prince’s face. The team looked at one another nervously, not taking the sudden calmness of the Galran man as a good sign. Lance especially, was knocked down from his pride in telling Lotor off at the change. He knew how the man could get back at him through unexpected and cruel ways.

“ _ You’ve forced my hand, Lance. _ ” Lotor said simply, “ _ This is  _ **_your_ ** _ fault _ .” Lance’s confusion at the cryptic comment lasted only a tick. Before anyone could react, Lotor drew his blaster and shot Navil square in the chest.

“ **_Navil!_ ** ” He cried, lurching forward. Hunk rushed to his side, holding him close as he quickly succumbed to sobs and shouts of hatred of the Prince. “ _ You bastard! He did nothing wrong! _ ”

The corners of the Prince’s mouth twisted up into a nasty, smug grin. “ _ He’ll be put in a healing pod...This time. Come home to me or by this time next quintent you can watch him bleed out. _ ” The connection cut out suddenly, from the Galran end.

Lance tore away from Hunk, running from the group. Keith looked to the others and motioned for them to stay, then followed in haste. He found Lance right outside the control room, near a waste bin. He hesitated at the sound of heaving, but walked up and rubbed his back slowly. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” He tried to comfort. Lance heaved again, but Keith couldn’t hear anything hitting the bin. If he had puked before, nothing was coming up now. That didn’t stop the dry heaves, unfortunately, and Keith didn’t know what to do to help.

He coughed a few times and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “No.” He spoke roughly, “It’s not he’s gonna kill him.” The image of Navil popped up in his mind, with blood on his chest and a shocked expression on his face, and set another dry heave through his body. 

“This is the man who taught you the languages, and everything you learned about the Empire, right?” Keith asked. Lance nodded weakly in response. “Then we  _ will _ save him. Don’t worry. It’s worth the fight to have him on our side.”

Lance felt guilty that the reason Navil was worth saving was because of his value to the team, but he felt like the fact that he was important enough to save was the main thing to focus on here.

“Here, I’ll tell the team so they can start working on an emergency rescue plan. Do you need help back to your room?” Lance nodded once again. Keith rested his hand on the other’s cheek slowly, and smiled. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

* * *

Lance walked against Keith the entire way to his room, still shaky from the conversation with Lotor. The Red Paladin noticed that some vomit was on Lance’s shirt, but didn’t comment on it on their silent walk. Instead, he waited until they had reached his room.

Lance excused himself immediately to rinse his mouth of the foul taste and brush his teeth, but he was surprised when Keith was still in his room.

“Here, let me put your shirt in the laundry chute, and I’ll get you your lion pajamas.” He offered, reaching a hand out for Lance to give him his shirt. The young Cuban man just stared at the outstretched hand.

“I-” His expression darkened as he cut himself off, “Actually,” He looked from Keith’s hand to his face, and maintained eye contact. “There is no  _ good _ time, and I’d rather you find out now, than by accident.” He slipped off his jacket and laid it on his chair. Then he turned away from Keith and took his shirt off, leaving the scars on his back and arms in full display. He winced at the sound of his friend gasping, knowing full well that Keith hadn’t expected damage to this extent.

“Jesus  _ christ _ , Lance,” He stepped forward and absentmindedly reached to touch Lance’s back. He pulled his hand away just before he made contact, realizing what he was about to do. “Do you mind if..” Lance shook his head slightly, and he touched some of the scarring, the sensation odd and invasive to the former Blue Betrayer, but he didn’t want Keith to stop.

“The pod won’t heal it, it’s scarred too deeply.” Lance said quietly. Keith ignored the comment and hugged him tightly from behind, shocking him. “You don’t… care?” He asked, even quieter, just barely a whisper.

“God no,” Keith breathed out, his chin resting on Lance’s shoulder. “I care about  _ you _ , and I care that you were hurt. I don’t give a damn about these scars, other than they mean we were able to get to you soon enough to spare you the pain from them.”

Lance laughed, an empty, nervous sound. His chest moved more as the laughs changed to quiet cries. “I feel like I cry too much.” He admitted, trying to stop the tears, “I only cried once when I was there, but now it’s so often.” Tears streamed down his face through the words.

“You’re safe to cry among friends,” Keith assured him, “if you’re upset, or hurting, or stressed, cry. We’ll be here for you.  _ I’ll _ be here for you.” Lance nodded and sniffled. Keith released his hug and moved to face Lance better, “Can I, kiss you?” He asked.

Not even bothering to answer properly, Lance leaned down and gave the Red Paladin a chaste kiss. “I’m not completely comfortable with being affectionate,” He confessed quietly, “But being with you is nothing like Lotor, and sometimes kissing is okay.”

“I’m just glad you brushed your teeth just now.” Keith joked, setting the teary-eyed man off into laughter. They laughed together, and sat on Lance’s bed in close contact.

Though he wasn’t comfortable with affectionate advances, being in Keith’s presence was  _ really _ nice. He felt safe and loved. Coran’s words came back to mind. It would take time, but with his team and by facing his trauma as it came, he would eventually be okay again.


	19. Final Chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets some closure, and Keith and Shiro are placed in difficult situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for being SO patient with me and reading this whole story! I tried to make sure all the loose ends were wrapped up by the end of the chapter, with the exception of the Blue Lion rejecting Lance (which will be addressed in the epilogue). If you notice something that hasn't been addressed, make sure to mention it! I've still got an epilogue and christmas special (possibly combined) in which I can tie anything I missed together.   
> Your comments are always appreciated, you guys are so sweet!  
> Enjoy the chapter! (It was 14 pages in word)

Lance woke in the middle of the night with Keith next to him. He wasn’t as shocked or frightened to find his teammate next to him as he had been last night, but he was too distracted to dwell on the thought. He had been back with his team for just over a week, and he was faced with the crushing possibility of having to face Lotor again.

Navil would die if he didn’t go with the team to save him. If he asked, he knew they wouldn’t make him. In fact, a few of them might try to dissuade him from coming out of concern for his well-being. But he knew better. They wouldn’t be able to find Navil without him, let alone  _ save _ him. 

The dull hum of the Castle at night gave Lance an odd feeling of safety and comfort. He had once  _ hated _ the deafening silent roar of the ship in the vacuum of space. It was a paradox of silence so loud it made his ears hurt. He had once thought that if he were left to the stillness of the Castle for too long, he wouldn’t be able to hear anything ever again. It wasn’t true, of course. Silence had never caused deafness that he knew of, but it felt  _ wrong _ to him. 

His home had always been so loud growing up. Though his teammates considered him the loudest of the group, he was the quietest at home. He supposed being loud was just a characteristic of a happy, full family. But on the ship, being the one that had to  _ create _ all of the comforting noise he was accustomed to was more difficult than he had realized.

Shiro never raised his voice with him. He was ever calm, collected, and patient with the Cuban boy. Although Lance appreciated it, it wasn’t the desired effect. Allura would outright ignore him if his antics got too wild, but even when she humored him it was similar to Shiro. Polite, collected, and level-headed at all times. Pidge and Hunk were more of Lance’s go-to’s. They would get excited about things, they would hoot and holler and make fools of themselves with him, when they were in the mood for it. He understood that they came from smaller families, with Pidge being a child of two and Hunk an only child spoiled to death by his mothers. His favorite person to bother was Keith. Although he knew next to nothing about the Red Paladin’s childhood, they could bicker and play-fight and quip back and forth  _ all day _ . Lance loved the attention. He loved the fun. He loved Keith. He

_ He loved Keith _ .

The Blue Paladin blinked slowly. His head slowly turned to the sleeping figure in the bed next to him. It wasn’t  _ unheard _ of for friends to sleep in each others’ beds, or to be caring and considerate, but it wasn’t  _ common _ . At least not the bed sharing that had become a habit for them in the past two nights. More importantly, kissing your friend, your  _ teammate _ was also not normal. Oh, Lance had liked it, kind of, but it wasn’t typical team member, friend behavior.

His mind wandered to things he didn’t want to really think about, like his time with Lotor. Physically, he was in his room with Keith. The lights were dimmed and the colors were soft and light, like the rest of the Altean architecture style. There was minimal clutter from a few of his belongings, just enough to make the room look lived in. 

His thoughts, however, swarmed with things he refused to let himself think about while he was in captivity. Coran was right. Lance had  _ known _ that when the fatherly figure had told him, but it hurt to accept. It hurt to acknowledge. He had been manipulated. He had been abused. He had been raped. His eyes welled up with tears that he hadn’t shed for his suffering on the Galran ship. Lance had made himself strong during his time there, or so he thought. He had built up a wall to prevent himself from getting hurt, but in reality all it did was hold off the emotional backlash until he could deal with it properly. The  _ Blue Betrayer _ could not resolve feelings of worthlessness, traitorous actions, or trauma. The  _ Blue Paladin _ could not either. Both had to survive in this godforsaken war he was fighting in. 

Emotions that strong, traumas so deep, however, didn’t go away if they were ignored and avoided. Even if the  _ Blue Betrayer _ couldn’t defeat them, or the  _ Blue Paladin _ couldn’t defend against them.  _ Lance _ was the only one who could solve this. He knew that the pain was just the beginning of his healing process, and that one day he would be okay again. Against all odds, he found sleep again.

* * *

_ He was being touched. Gestures of reassurance, a proud squeeze of his hand. A gentle feeling resting against his forehead. It burned, pain rippled through each contact. He wanted to be touched more, despite the pain. Anything to have some semblance of normal. He wanted to pretend it was all okay. _

_ You’ve decided to fuck some random enemy? For what, is he forcing you? Is he brainwashing you? Lance felt the words float around him, surrounding him painfully. He couldn’t differentiate between the words and his environment. Just let us save you, we need you. He didn’t feel needed. He felt useless and weak, easily manipulated and turned against the very cause he fought for. He had made it out alive, but at what cost? _

_ My feelings for Lotor came from his support in my darkest time. My feelings for Lotor came from his support in my darkest time. My feelings for Lotor-- _

_ Lance please, I  _ **_love_ ** _ you. I love you, I love you, I love-- _

_ My feelings for Lotor came from his--I love you--support in my darkest time. Lance--My feelings for Lotor--please,--came from his su-I love you. _

_ The swarming words repeated around him, gaining in intensity and frequency. They muddled over each other and fought for his attention. It was a horrible retelling of the night he spoke to his team for the first time. _

_ My--Lance--feelings for Lotor-- _ **_Please_ ** _ \--came from his support-- _ **_I love you_ **

**_I love you_ **

_ The words shoved him forward, and just like they had appeared around him, they disappeared without a trace. The silence was torturous, but quickly filled with apparitions. A small blue alien stepped forward, Uvio. She looked up at Lance with sorrowful eyes and spoke to him. He blinked, unable to hear her.  _ **_What?_ ** _ He tried to ask,  _ **_Uvio, wait!_ ** _ He called after her. Once she realized her words were lost on him, she turned away sadly and walked off. She was slowly vanishing in front of him. He couldn’t be responsible for her death. _

_ He ran after her, his movements dragged by some unknown force. It was like his own self-preservation was dragging him away from her. He reached her, by some miracle, and gripped her arm.  _ **_Please_ ** _. He begged, he had to help her. She had to escape, to return to her family. She refused to look at him. _

**_You should have stayed with your companion._** _She said, her voice more garbled and ominous than he remembered. Her language was impeccable though, which he considered odd given her fluency the last time he saw her._ ** _He knew you were evil._** _Guilt ripped through him. Why was he guilty? Why was he evil?_ ** _Your team doesn’t know you._** _Why was she goading him?_ ** _They don’t think you’re a monster. They don’t think you’re a murderer._** _Lance nearly released her, but he didn’t know what was happening. Why did she think he was a monster? Why did she think he was a murderer?_

_ He did not let go of her arm. Uvio turned to face him finally, her delicate blue complexion dull and grayed. A bullet wound marred the area between her eyes, both dead and angry. Her expression was hollow and empty, save for the fury behind it. Lance scrambled back from her, his hand off of her at once. He had done this. How could he have forgotten he had done this? A grotesque scene unfurled as the Blue Betrayer scrambled away from his victim. He fell backwards, landing in some thick substance.  _

**_You’ve made your bed, Blue Betrayer._ ** _ Her voice was darker, deeper, and more strained the more she spoke. Her face distorted into a horrific snarl and she lunged for the man trapped in his own guilt,  _ **_Now lie in it_ ** **.**

* * *

Lance jerked awake, sobbing uncontrollably. Keith snapped to attention and had his arms around him in a heartbeat. He started shushing him as he rubbed his back, a tight hug keeping him together. The Blue Betrayer, that’s who he was. He didn’t need this, he didn’t  _ deserve _ this.

“Keith I killed her, I’m a  _ murderer _ .” He said, his voice strangled from guilt. “I’m a  _ monster jesus christ _ .” Another sob racked his body. Keith kept rubbing Lance’s back reassuringly, but he had no idea how to approach this.

“Lance, I think you need to talk to someone.” In response, he curled his fists into Keith’s shirt and buried his face in his chest. “I can only imagine how difficult it is to talk, but I don’t know how to help you, babe.” Had it been any other time, Lance would have been overjoyed to hear the term of endearment. Now, however, all he could hear was  _ I don’t know how to help you _ .

“What-” A sharp inhalation of breath, “do I do, Keith?” His voice was shaky and unsteady. He hated the vulnerability and weakness he was displaying, but couldn’t help it. He was unable to pull it together.

“We’ll talk to Shiro.” He said simply. Lance shook his head vigorously. “Lance, Lance,” Keith brushed his teammate’s hair back gently, even though none of it fell in his face, “He’s the only one of us who would have even a little bit of an idea of what you’ve been through. He can help more than any of us.”

The former Blue Paladin shook his head again, “I can’t make him do that.” Keith’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he tried to ask what Lance meant, but the other man continued, “I can’t ask him to relive the terrible things he saw, that’s not fair, it’s horrible and selfish and, and--”

“Lance, he  _ wants _ to help. He’s concerned about you, and  _ wants _ to talk to you about it.” The Red Paladin sighed softly, “He’s been worried about bringing it up, he doesn’t want to  _ make _ you talk about it.” Lance’s grip on Keith’s shirt tightened. “He’s afraid of the exact same thing you are.”

Hesitation filled the air for a few moments, before Lance finally agreed. “I’ll talk to him. But it can’t interfere with Navil’s rescue.”

* * *

Lance toyed with his fingers, looping them together and tugging them apart nervously. The Black Paladin sat across from him, patiently waiting for Lance to speak first. Minutes passed, and it soon became clear that the Blue Paladin would not be the one beginning the conversation. Shiro cleared his throat, gaining Lance’s attention. The younger man looked a bit frightened, but Shiro knew how difficult it could be to talk about traumatic events so soon after they happened.

“Lance, you wanted to talk with me, right?” The silence lingered for another tick before the young man nodded his head slowly. Shiro felt himself relax a bit, he was concerned that Lance had felt pressured to talk to him. Slowly, he looked up to the Black Paladin and started to voice himself.

“Shiro, why aren’t any of you angry with me?” He asked, his eyes locked painfully with his leader’s. Shocked and unable to process quickly enough, Shiro was silent as Lance continued, “I did so many horrible things. I killed people, Shiro. I killed people that didn’t have to die, and I help enslave  _ planets _ while I was with the Empire. I’m a  _ monster _ , and none of you are even  _ angry with me _ .” The former Blue Paladin’s hands trembled. He was afraid of bringing all of his concerns to Shiro’s--and the team’s-- attention. He was afraid they would suddenly realize the extent of the damage he caused and decide that he really  _ wasn’t _ worthy of being a part of Voltron.

_ Much like the Blue Lion already had. _

Shiro took a deep breath and slowly placed his organic hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Do you hate me?” He asked, completely derailing the conversation. Lance blinked quickly, his mind reeling. He shook his head feverishly, and stumbled over unintelligible denials. 

Shiro smiled weakly and cocked his head at him, his voice dipped a bit in tone and he continued, “Are you sure? Lance do you know how many people  _ I _ killed in that arena? I never escaped. Someone sent me home. I was there for a year, and I was in the arena every day, killing  _ everyone _ who came against me.” His voice cracked as he said everyone, Lance wondered if he was thinking about the people he saw. A wince brought him back to the present and he spat, angry with himself, “I lost count.”

Lance placed his hand on top of Shiro’s. “You can’t be angry with yourself over circumstances that you couldn’t help. Shiro if you didn’t fight you would have  _ died _ .” He looked up at his hero and it killed him to see such a strong man so torn up about a traumatic time in his life. He just wanted to help him, and he was upset that Shiro was being reminded of these things because of  _ him _ .

“I’m  _ not _ angry with myself, Lance.” He watched as his teammates relaxed and released his hand. “So why are  _ you _ angry with  _ yourself _ ?” The relaxation Lance had momentarily experienced shrivelled up as he withdrew from Shiro’s reach.

He suddenly felt too close, too real, too painful. “I  _ betrayed  _ you guys. I slept with Lotor, and I ruined  _ millions _ of people’s lives. Shiro your impact was limited to the arena, I sat in fucking  _ war convenes. _ I advised the Prince of the Empire on how to get newly acquired planets to  _ obey _ .” His hands reached up for his hair, fingers entangling in the locks as he tugged them painfully to try and ground himself. “I did so many things I didn’t even know I was  _ capable _ of. For christ’s sake, I’m just a boy from Cuba I didn’t  _ sign up for this _ .”

Shiro held his hands up gently in a gesture meant to disarm the rapidly escalating emotions Lance was feeling. “Lance, you did what you  _ had _ to-”

“I had  _ options _ .” He snarled back, tears forming in his eyes, “I  _ chose _ to do the  _ worst _ .” His hands swung down angrily and stayed at his side in clenched fists.

Sighing, Shiro shook his head. “And what could you have done differently?” Lance’s anger faltered, his fists loosening up in his surprise. 

He blinked as he thought, before bringing his eyes to meet Shiro’s. “I could have chosen not to sleep with Lotor.” Shiro clenched his jaw. He should have known that would have come first. It was what bothered Lance the most. Lotor had done an  _ excellent _ job of making Lance seem in control of their ‘relationship.’ Lance’s head dipped down again.

“We all saw how he looked at you, Lance. How he  _ treated _ you. You sleeping with Lotor to keep him from being angry at you is  _ not _ an indication of your weakness, or any kind of loyalty to that bastard. If you were sleeping with him to make him treat you better, that’s not sex. You know that, right?” Shiro’s voice was soft and reassuring. He was sure Lance  _ knew _ , but he was also sure that he wanted to hold onto some semblance of choice.

A sniffle was Shiro’s first response, then a slight nod. The Black Paladin ignored the tears falling on the floor, for Lance’s sake. The young man clearly didn’t want him to see him crying. “I could have-” Lance took a deep, shaky breath, “I didn’t have to kill Uvio.” 

Shiro winced. He was relieved that the former Blue Paladin was still averting his eyes, so he couldn’t see the reaction he had. “You said so yourself, Lotor had purposely released her to test your loyalty.” A breath. “It’s a terrible thing that happened,” He started, there was no way around that reality. “Lotor knew exactly where she was the whole time, though. If he was testing you, she would have died no matter what.”

Lance’s shoulders shivered as he repressed a sob. “I know.” He choked out, his voice forced and hoarse. “I could have-I didn’t have to-” Memories of terrible things came flooding back. Things he  _ wished _ he could change, things he  _ wished _ he could have done better. Fights with Lotor, escape opportunities that would have been sooner, but less thought out. Experiences with Matt and Lotor and other Galran soldiers. Dinners with the Prince and times he thought about killing him in his sleep. Trainings that made him stronger, and emotional turmoil that made him feel weak.

“ _ I felt so helpless _ .” He sobbed, taking a ragged and desperate breath, “I thought I was going to die, I thought he was going to  _ kill _ me every time he was angry at me. I tried to keep fighting but he just,” A sob interrupted his flow, “was so much stronger and faster, every time I fought him on something he hurt me, and every time I thought I outsmarted him he brought some trick down on me and he was so  _ manipulative _ .”

The sight of his teammate breaking down sent a wave of uncontrollable sadness through Shiro. It was all he could do to keep from crying with Lance. Instead, he listened patiently to everything Lance had to say, no matter how difficult it was to follow along.

“For  _ weeks _ he was the only person I saw every day. He made me eat with him, every day, two meals a day. It was like we were some kind of-kind of” His hands flew to his forehead in frustration. When he found the word, only a tick or so later he flung his arms down in anger, “ _ domestic couple _ . He presented me to  _ everyone _ like I was a goddamned  _ trophy _ and never said anything when the soldiers made crude, awful jokes about me. He was possessive and hostile and had mood swings at the drop of a hat.” Lance’s tears had long since dried up, but the occasional breathy sob still racked his chest as an after-effect.

He paused as he tried to get ahold of himself. “He made me feel  _ loved _ , sometimes.” Lance looked off, confused, “It fucks me up, I almost, I don’t. But I almost  _ miss _ him.” Immediately he brought a hand to his face and shook his head in dismay. “No,  _ god _ , I’m so fucked up.”

“That’s to be expected.” Shiro finally spoke, to offer reassurance. Lance looked to him in utter confusion. How could that possibly be an expected outcome? The question wasn’t spoken, but his expression conveyed enough. “He isolated you, and provided you with all the affection and healthy attention you needed. He also  _ abused _ you, with threats and violence and isolation, but when you’re alone with only the person abusing you, it’s hard to see the bad things. You were in a terrible, abusive situation. The  _ last _ thing you needed was to focus on all of the bad things, so you subconsciously latched onto the good things.”

“So,” He whispered, “I don’t love him, even if it kind of feels like I do?”

“Do you want him to be happy?” Lance’s soft, vulnerable expression contorted into disgust. Shiro shook his head, “Then no, it was just his manipulation making you feel like that.”

A moment passed, then two. Lance threw his head back and laughed. He laughed so hard it racked his chest like his earlier sobs had. His shoulders moved with his laughter and he brought his hands up to his face. Sobs of laughter and tears joined behind his hands, and he continued to smile behind bitter tears of relief.  His worries, his fears, so many things he wished he could change, and none of them mattered. Not now.

Lotor meant  _ nothing _ to him. He scared him, but Lance had gotten  _ away _ . He would go again and he would get away  _ again _ . Lotor had  _ no power over him _ .

* * *

“Pidge!” Allura called, as they reviewed their rescue plan for Navil. Each Paladin was expected to retell their role.

“Sneak in and hack as much  _ shit _ as possible while the real mission is going on.” She said with a wink and some finger guns. Lance beamed at the small girl’s reenactment of his signature move.

“Matt!.”

“Manning the Castle’s systems to prevent any Galran hacking while we’re in range.”

“Hunk!” 

“Outer defence, ready to attack any extra ships or come inside the ship at a moment’s notice.” He replied, looking to Lance. He was concerned for his friend, despite Lance’s insistence on participating in the mission. 

“Shiro!” 

“With Hunk, cleaning up extra ships and acting as backup.”

“Lance!” 

He grinned, “Navigating the ship to find Navil and bring him home.”

“Keith!”

The Red Paladin grinned devilishly, “Killing a Prince.” Lance elbowed him and he laughed. The team watched in surprise as the two joked around and as  _ Keith _ made a joke. He straightened up and said, “Lance’s backup, getting Navil and getting out.” He looked to his teammate, “And one punch? I’ll do a hit and run.” He offered.

Lance laughed and shook his head, “Shut up you idiot, we have to focus.” Keith looked pleased with himself for being able to bring a smile to Lance’s face. That’s what he wanted to do, make Lance smile as much as possible. 

“Does anyone have any questions, then?” Allura asked, ignoring the playful chatter from the new couple. She assumed they had become a couple, they  _ seemed  _ like it. She was met with silence. Nodding, she clapped her hands together and said, “Excellent. Suit up!”

* * *

“ _ Enemy ships rapidly approaching! Ready the ion cannon! _ ” The commanding officer within the control room yelled to her underlings. The Prince had  _ goaded _ Voltron into attacking, and she was  _ not _ going down because of his terrible choices. 

“ _ Do not activate the ion cannon _ .” 

The commander whipped around at the sound of an opposing order, only to be faced by the only man able to override hers. Lotor raised an eyebrow at her, as if waiting for defiance. Zethrid bit her tongue, despite the growing urge to knock the Prince down a peg.

“ _ You heard the Prince _ .” She snapped at the soldiers gawking, trying to figure out who to listen to, “ _ return to your posts and await further instructions _ .” She faced Lotor again and gave him the Galran salute. “ _ Yes, my Prince? _ ”

“ _ I need you to wait on any defensive maneuvers. _ ” He explained simply, “ _ Here’s what you’ll do- _ ”

* * *

Hunk and Shiro flew in their lions around the main ship in the fleet. There were a few nearby cruisers, all off in the distance and much smaller than Lotor’s. They patrolled the area as the Red Lion and the cloaked Green Lion flew aboard the ship.

“Hey Lance?” Keith asked quietly, “We can talk about it later if you want, but,” he glanced at Lance from his seat in the Red Lion’s cockpit, “why isn’t the Blue Lion letting you in?”

The former Blue Paladin didn’t react immediately. He hesitated before sighing, “I think it’s...me.” He replied, “But I think that it’s only temporary.”

Keith gave Lance a weak smile, which was returned to him in full. “I hope so, sharpshooter.” Lance scoffed at the remark.

“Don’t sound so sarcastic, my marksmanship is aim-mazing.” He joked. Keith snorted and a hand flew up to his mouth. His face flushed and Lance grinned at the scene developing. “You snort oh my god.” He laughed, “That’s adorable.”

“ _ Shut up _ you gross as nerds.” Pidge teased through the communications. “Flirt on your own time, not missions.” The two felt their faces heat up a bit. “Yeah,  _ be ashamed _ .” She replied, relishing in her ability to embarrass them.

“Team, stay focused.” Shiro commed through, redirecting their attention to the task at hand. “Pidge, keep your energy use to a minimum, you can’t be detected yet. Keith and Lance, be ready for a fight.”

The Red Lion drifted near the docking point without interference. The fight that the two young men were preparing for didn’t come for  _ them _ . The moment they docked and stepped out of the Red Lion, several fighter ships were released from their hangars. Lance whipped his head around to see the commotion. 

“ _ Fuck _ .” He snapped. Keith’s eyes widened as he realized what was happening, too. The two took off running and Lance vented, “We’re on our own now, they’re going to keep them busy with  _ just _ enough fighter ships to prevent them from providing backup.”

The Red Paladin followed Lance as he made sharp turns down the winding, confusing paths. “How do you know for sure they’re specifically preventing backup?” Lance didn’t respond, instead he turned a few more corners. On the last turn, Keith lagged and didn’t see where Lance went.

He  _ did _ see a sentinel, and he reached for his bayard to prep before the Galran robot attacked him. An arm reached out and yanked him into a crevice in the wall. “ _ Fuck Lance _ .” Keith cursed, startled by the other’s sudden reappearance. “So how do you know-”

“Because it’s  _ my plan _ .” He snapped, interrupting Keith. He turned his face away, the movement made obvious because of the tight space. “It was a plan  _ I _ came up with to help Lotor take a few rebel bases.” Keith opened his mouth to respond, but a noise in the hall made Lance lurch forward to cover his mouth with his hand. Metal footsteps passed them, and a moment passed before Lance released Keith.

“It’s a really good plan.” He commented quietly, “Got any others?” Lance smiled at his question, it wasn’t an accusation of him advising Lotor, or an implication that he couldn’t figure a way out, but one that suggested he could do better for  _ Voltron _ than he did for  _ Lotor _ .

“Yeah, let’s fucking  _ book it _ .” Lance said. The sentinel had long passed and they needed to  _ move _ and find Navil. Keith nodded and wiggled out of their hiding spot first, allowing Lance to follow. Immediately, Lance took off running. “I think I know where that son of a bitch is waiting.”

* * *

“Why are there  _ so many _ ?” Hunk complained, weaving his lion through a group of three fighters. The feat was easier said than done, but crashing into them sometimes saved them the trouble of having to shoot it, so it didn’t matter to him either way. 

“Hunk, on your four o’clock!” Shiro shouted, rearing up to shoot at an oncoming fighter ship. It was larger than the rest and had a low-grade ion cannon. They weren’t nearly as powerful as the ones on the battle cruisers, but they did some damage.

Before either Paladin could react, a modified cargo ship slipped into the fight and fired off a few shots, taking out the larger fighter ship. The two tried to get a better look at their unexpected ally, but had no way of contacting them. Luckily, a transmission came through.

“You boys looked like you were in a pinch.” She said, her tone indicating that she was speaking through a translator. The image in their Lions’ communicators were fuzzy due to a poor incoming signal, but they could see that she was a very brightly colored alien, predominantly red. “Thought I would lend a hand, I’m Ezor, a friend of Lance’s.”

* * *

“ _ Lance, where are we? _ ” Keith asked in a hushed whisper. They had finally come to an area with the concentration of soldiers and droids that the Red Paladin had been expecting. Lance ignored his question for the time being, as a soldier approached their hiding place. 

Keith nearly repeated himself, but stopped short when his teammate lunged across the hall and dragged the soldier down with him. In a single, swift movement, Lance slammed the Galran soldier’s body down to the ground with his grip around their neck. The force prevented the soldier from crying out for help. The former Blue Paladin snatched their helmet off, revealing a terrified man. One solid punch knocked him clean out. Watching the scene before him play out nearly made Keith feel sick. Lance was quick, precise, and  _ lethal _ . 

“We’re near my-Lotor’s quarters. He’s got a sick sense of irony.” Lance stripped the soldier, pausing only for a moment to check for a pulse. “He’s going to want to bring me somewhere that makes me feel weak. That’s the  _ last _ place I want to go, so it’s definitely where he’s at.” Lance slid the Galran armor on. It was a bit bulky over his Paladin armor, but he had taken down a man slightly larger than him, so it still fit well enough. “I’ll distract them, take out as many as possible if they head your way. Start with the sentinels.”

Keith gave a curt nod and watched his friend leave towards a group of the enemy. He explained something in the Galran common tongue. The group rushed away from the hall, and the Red Paladin felt himself release a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Lance turned to him and gestured for him to follow.

* * *

“Fuck fuck  _ fuck _ .” Pidge muttered angrily to herself, typing hastily away to keep up with the rapidly changing code. The security system had been doubled, no, tripled since her last hack attempt. It had been programmed to adapt. She could have handled it with far less trouble, had she been  _ prepared _ for it. Now it was all she could do to prevent the system from notifying guards of her presence.

* * *

Lance froze at the foot of a closed door. He could see a small portion of the room through a window, just large enough for him to see the reflection of himself, head and shoulders, back at him. A hand rested gently on the small of his back, and he felt himself relax a fraction into the touch. “Here.” He breathed, “This is it.” Keith’s expression was pained as he watched as Lance took in the scenery. A closed door was all it took to remind him of so many horrors.

“Let me go in first, if there’s nothing there you won’t even have to come in.” The Red Paladin offered. He wanted to keep Lance from as much harm as possible. The Cuban man shook his head immediately. 

“I have to face it.”

“And if he’s not even here?” 

“Then we go to the arena.” Lance swallowed, hard. “But he’s here. He  _ has _ to be.” Without further delay, he opened the door. The sliding sound of the door opening mirrored the air that was sucked from Lance’s lungs at the sight of his old quarters. 

Nothing had changed. A shaky step forward, and he clenched his fists until his knuckles drained of their color. The table was spotless, as it always was after they cleaned up a meal. The bed seemed slept in, like it would on days that the sheets weren’t laundered. The room was lived in, familiar, and  _ painful _ to look at. Keith kept close by, and they swept the main room. Nothing to be found. 

A hollow laugh escaped Lance’s lips and he whispered, “I can’t believe I came here for nothing.” Keith’s eyes softened at him and he opened his mouth to comfort his teammate. The two froze at the sound of the comms buzzing in. 

“- _ HELP _ . The systems shut down and I’m about to be surrounded, I  _ need _ back up.” 

They immediately turned on their heels, Keith whipping out the electronic map and crossing the door’s threshold. Footsteps sounded and both froze, on opposite sides of the door.

“ _ Lotor _ ,” Lance snarled, halting his retreat and taking a step towards the Prince. Keith glanced away from his map, just in time to see the electronic door sliding between himself and Lance. He attached to the door at once, banging with his fists for it to open. The door didn’t budge.

Lance’s head snapped back to Keith at the sound, and his blood drained from his face at the realization that he had fallen, entirely, for a trap. He sprinted to the door, a few feet feeling like a mile, and he mirrored Keith’s panicked posture. 

“ _ Lance _ !” Keith shouted. The sound was muffled, but easily distinguishable. Laughter spiked his anger from behind his back, the Prince thoroughly enjoying how easily the two had been separated. 

“ _ Where are you!? _ ” Pidge’s voice was growing frantic over the communicator. Keith glanced down the hall, where he would have to go to get to her. He looked back to Lance and shook his head.

“I  _ can’t _ leave you with him.” His forearms were rested against the door, and Lance could see the sheer determination in his eyes through the window. 

It would have been so easy to be selfish in that instance. Keith had said it first, and Lance’s fears were justified more than enough to warrant asking him to stay. Lance knew how far he had come, however, and he knew he could go farther. “Pidge needs you.” He could see the hesitation in Keith’s expression, and he quelled it. “I  _ don’t _ .”

Keith averted his eyes, towards the hall once more. They snapped back to the bright blue ones on the other side of the door. The Red Paladin had never realized how many shades of that beautiful hue mixed together in Lance’s eyes until he had no time to admire them. 

_ “ _ **_Fuck_ ** !” He screamed, slamming on the door as hard as he could to vent his frustration of being useless to help Lance. His hands dragged down the door, and in the blink of an eye, his fingertips slipped away as he made a dash for Pidge’s location.

Lance watched Keith’s retreating figure until he turned a corner and he couldn’t any more. He continued to face the door for a few ticks, mentally preparing himself for confrontation. 

* * *

Heavy thuds echoed the halls as Keith raced through them. He had a mission: Save Pidge, bring her back, and save Lance. He knew he would reach her location within a few minutes of running, and he hated how far it was from where their Blue Paladin was. He had so little time. He had to get it done.

As soldiers and sentinels back cropping up as he neared the control room, Keith cut them down mercilessly. He didn’t even break his pace, if he didn’t have to. When he finally reached Pidge, having already taken out nearly a dozen enemies, he broke down the door with a running start, ramming his shoulder into it as hard as he could. It had been weakened by attackers attempting to reach the Green Paladin, and he finally felt more at ease. He had made it in time to help.

* * *

“ _ Lance, _ ” Lotor purred, taking a step forward. The Blue Betrayer turned to face the Prince. “ _ Now there’s the handsome face I’ve been missing. The Empire just isn’t the same without you, love. _ ” The sweet words were tainted by the foul, malicious smile Lotor had stretched across his face. It was sickening, much like the endearments the Prince tried to flatter Lance with. 

Lance’s harsh expression softened. Seeing Lotor again filled him with a barrage of emotions. He closed the gap between himself and the Prince, “ _ I shouldn’t have left, _ ” Regret, longing, desperation, fear, conflicting and warring emotions with one reigning above them all. He reached the Galran man and stood nearly toe to toe with him. The height difference was the same as the first time they met, with Lotor just a few inches taller than him. Lotor gave him a gracious smile, as if he were expecting a reaction like that. “ _ At least not before I could do this- _ ” 

Lance’s hands reached up to the sides of the Prince’s face, and he latched onto his pointed ears. Before the man could react, he yanked down and whipped his head forward as hard as he could, headbutting the Prince square on the nose. Lotor howled in pain, pulling himself away forcefully and staggering back with a hand pressed to his face.

“ _ Disgusting little creature _ .” He spat, blood seeping through his fingers. The sound of his words were slurred slightly from the pain and obstruction. Lotor removed his hand and looked at the blood on his hand. His lips curled up in a snarl and he flung his hand to the side, splattering the thick liquid onto the ground. Lance braced himself.

“ _ I gave you  _ **_everything_ ** _ , and all I asked was that you would remain at my side. _ ” Lotor snarled, rushing forward at the Blue Betrayer. Lance avoided his initial advance, but got caught by the bulky armor the moment he turned too slowly. Lotor used it as a grip on him, to bring him close to his face. “ _ I loved you despite all of your disgusting flaws. Despite every shortcoming in your pathetic being, _ ” He shook Lance, and the Blue Paladin realized the armor was large enough for him to slip through. “ _ How dare you leave me _ .”

He dropped his weight, surprising the Prince and escaping the armor holding him nearby. He flung the helmet and other pieces off quickly, throwing them at the Galran man to by him enough time to completely strip himself of the hindering disguise. “ _ You took everything from me, you sick bastard _ .” Lance argued. 

He lunged forward, driving a punch into Lotor’s gut, “ _ My Lion rejected me because of you. _ ” The impact made him keel over, and Lance used the opportunity to bring his elbow down between Lotor’s shoulders in a sharp movement. “ _ I hated myself because of you _ .” The second strike made the Prince painfully aware of his situation and he tried to pull away again.

Lance grabbed the front collar of his shirt and dragged him back as he wound up a right hook. “ _ And you ruined me _ .” His fist connected with Lotor’s jaw and a crack rang through the room. It made Lance want to vomit, but the satisfaction of the Prince’s pain kept the nausea at bay.

The Prince snapped it back into place, a disgusting sight for the Blue Paladin. Background scuttling nearly drew his attention, but Lotor spoke: “ _ I took you in after your team had forsaken you _ .” Had he called for backup?

The Blue Paladin snarled at him, “ _ You made me feel worthless. I never doubted my team until you ran your foul mouth about them _ .” He bowed up at the Prince, overestimating the pain he was in. Lotor drew his arm to the side and backhanded Lance harshly. The Blue Paladin fell to the floor. He could taste blood.

“ _ You were abandoned and helpless. I gave you  _ **_hope_ ** _. You weren’t even worth a Prince’s attention but I saw  _ **_more_ ** _ in you. _ ” Lance was sick and  _ fucking _ tired of the backhanded compliments and faux sweet words. He rose again, undeterred from his motivation to save Navil and leave the Empire in ruins in his wake.

“ _ Okay, I’ll give you that one. My team thought I was dead and I had been abandoned. _ ” Lance replied, his tone gritty and forced. “ _ But I was  _ **_never_ ** _ helpless.”  _ His lip was split from the backhanded smack, but it looked mild compared to the blood on Lotor’s nose and mouth. He reared his leg up. Lotor had no time to react before Lance’s sole made contact with his chest, sending him reeling backwards from the impact.

The scuffling outside finally stopped, right as the doors opened up. Lance paid them no mind as he stalked over to where Lotor was trying to sit up. His ribs ached, but the Blue Paladin had no sympathy for him. 

_ “Vrepit Sa  _ **_motherfucker_ ** .” Lance spat, kicking Lotor’s ribcage once more with his full force. Pidge and Keith dragged him away, but Lance didn’t fight them once he realized who they were. He left the bloodied and bruised Galran Prince to wallow in his pain and humiliation.

“We found Navil, let’s  _ go _ .” Keith informed Lance. It wouldn’t be until later that Lance would find out the longer version of the story, where Navil actually found them and helped them come back to get him. It didn’t really matter though, not in that moment.

Lance was at the top of the world, he had faced his demons and won. There was still fear and self-doubt lingering, but the closure from his confrontation made him feel like he had reached an important milestone in his path to a full recovery. As they ran to their Lions, Pidge and Navil to the Green Lion and Lance and Keith to the Red, Lance watched Keith the entire time. 

He had been so patient with him, despite everything he had done. Perhaps even  _ because _ everything he had done. Lance wasn’t ready for anything physical in a relationship, but he knew that Keith wouldn’t be upset by that. The two of them would be fine with a little communication and time, and the thought made Lance’s heart swell up with hope.

* * *

Once the Red Lion had docked, its Paladin was ready to rejoin the group to celebrate. Lance tugged on his arm when he turned to head towards the team. Keith stopped to see what Lance needed, and was met by a chaste kiss. He could taste a hint of blood, but it didn’t keep him from enjoying the fleeting moment of a kiss from the man he loved.

“Is everything okay?” Keith asked, putting his hands loosely on Lance’s upper arms. His concern was evident in his voice, and the Blue Paladin couldn’t help but smile at the tone. He nodded in response, and kissed him again, still a soft, gentle peck.

“I love you, Keith.” He smiled wider, “I’m still getting over some things, and I know it would be hard on you too, but I want to be with you, and I really fucking love you.” He admitted. He was sure the Red Paladin felt the same way about him. The deciding factor he  _ wasn’t _ sure about was whether he was willing to deal with the negative effects lingering from his time as a prisoner.

Keith practically melted at Lance’s words. “Of  _ course _ I want to be with you, Lance.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around him in a hug, “I love you too. We’ll work through everything together, you don’t have to face any of this alone.”

 


	20. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Lance's decisive stand against Lotor. Also known as: Happy ending and loose ends tied up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The times are all in relation to the time after the mission from the last chapter!  
> I'll be posting the Christmas special in a few hours!

_Ten Daboshes_

Lance was immediately crowded by his friends when he returned with Pidge, Keith, and Navil. He was shocked to see Ezor among them, but couldn’t properly process the sight. His heart was still pounding ferociously in his chest, reverberating so loudly though his pulse that it seemed difficult to hear. Were his ears ringing, or was he imagining it? Was he still holding Keith’s hand? What was that burst of cool air?

Blinking slowly, Lance looked to the Red Paladin with desperation. Keith’s eyes locked onto his and he nodded. As quickly as the team had surrounded their Blue Paladin, they dispersed. Keith had said something to them, but Lance was too high on adrenaline to understand it.

* * *

 

_Twenty Daboshes_

Finally alone, Lance tried to get the lingering feeling of grime off of himself. He stripped out of his armor and his flight suit, too dazed to remember to return them to their proper place. He slipped into his bathroom and started the shower, catching a brief glimpse of himself in the mirror.

His hair was still cut like it had been while he was in captivity. The undercut remained cleanly trimmed, but Lotor had liked the top being a bit longer. It had grown an inch or two. As much as he disliked that it had been the Galran Prince’s decision, he did like the way the style looked. It matched well with the scar still on his face, the one that cut through his left eyebrow. As much as he resented the circumstances, the small scar on his face was preferable to the many others marring the rest of his body.

Most importantly, there was color back in his face. He was still paler than he would have liked to have been, but he didn’t look like he was _sickly_ anymore, just like he was feeling a little under the weather. He was sure that his complexion would return to normal within a few weeks.

With the water heated up, Lance stepped into the shower and let it beat down on his back. He felt his eyes close, slipping into a limbo of relaxation. Stress and anxiety from the mission rolled off of him in waves, melting into the hot water to be washed away. He was alive. He had shown Lotor his place. He had saved Navil. Everything was going to be okay.

Lance stayed in the comfort of the shower for so long he lost track of the time.

* * *

 

_Three Vargas_

Keith smiled softly at Lance over the dinner table. The two had yet have any time to themselves, though Lance wasn’t sure he was okay really with being alone with Keith just yet. Sleeping was one thing, but to just spend one-on-one time with him seemed intimidating. _Especially_ now that they had _finally_ cleared the air on their feelings for one another.

He knew that his teammate would never isolate and hurt him like Lotor did, but the rationality of that knowledge didn’t stop the fear. He didn’t want Keith to know he was scared of being abused like that, because he had done nothing to earn that fear. Regardless, Lance acknowledged that he would have to be open about that, as well.

The dinner table was a bit tense, due to the new additions. Kolivan, Ezor, and Navil all graced the table with the rest of the team. Although Ezor and Kolivan were both in good shape, Navil looked a bit worse for wear. He was cleaned up, but had a bruise on his cheek welling up a dark blue and had an unshakable expression of exhaustion. The scholarly man was very relieved to be among better company, but he was so tired from the past few quintents.

“ _Lance, my friend._ ” He said, sparking conversation, “ _Please tell me how you’ve been feeling since your return._ ” He poked at his food, taking a bite before looking to the Blue Paladin expectantly.

“ _I’ve been feeling much better, although it seems I’ve become a bit paranoid since my return. It still feels as though Lotor is behind me at every turn._ ” He replied. A glance around the table reminded him that the Castle’s translators _still_ were not updated to include the Galran common tongue. He added, “ _Also, until we update the Castle mainframe, do you mind speaking in the old Galran tongue? The others cannot understand us, and I feel rude leaving them out of the conversation_.”

Navil coughed, surprise overtaking him as he ate. He flushed in embarrassment, “How rude of me!” He corrected, “I forgot that your translators aren’t up to date, forgive me.” Coran chuckled in response, waving his hand dismissively.

“Not to worry!” He cried, “These things happen. Though I’d appreciate your help in uploading the common vernacular later tonight. The idioms and other phrases translate much easier with a fluent speaker to help move things along!” Navil nodded in agreement, happy to be of use.

The Princess looked as though she wanted to speak, but Ezor’s loud personality overran the hesitation. “Lance, is _that_ the Red Paladin?” She asked, her tone a bit suggestive. He could feel his face heat up in response.

“Uh, I am?” Keith replied first, not sure what the question was for. “Why?” The red alien giggled and raised an eyebrow at Lance. The Blue Paladin could only groan and cover his face with his hands. Keith glanced between the two, oblivious to the interaction that just happened. “Lance? What?”

“Just so you know,” Ezor said, speaking before Lance could explain, “I’ve always been a fan of the two of you. A _lot_ of people in the universe are.” Her statement only confused Keith more, given he hadn’t understood the initial innuendo. Lance groaned again and spoke before he could be interrupted.

“The entire _Empire_ has seen the two of us interact on missions and a _huge_ number of people have thought that we were together for a long time.” He hesitated, “Actually even Lotor did, though I never really cleared that one up. He called you a past lover of mine, and I had _no idea_ how to even _begin_ to react to that one.” He breathed out a laugh, “Pretty sure any response to that would have been the _wrong_ one.”

The mention of Prince Lotor killed the relaxed mood that had been recently formed. Lance regretted the comment almost immediately, realizing that although he felt more comfortable to talk and even joke about a few things, the rest of the team was not. Or maybe they were concerned about him feeling forced to act like nothing was wrong. He didn’t know, but either way, he had killed the mood.

“About that…” Allura began, now able to ask her question without ruining the mood herself, “Lance, why didn’t you kill Lotor when you had the-”

“ **_Allura._ ** ” Coran’s hands were on the table in an instant, interrupting the Princess before she could finish her question. He stood at the table, giving her a pointed look. Even tenser than before, the air was palpable. “ _This is neither the time nor the place_.” He scolded. As her royal advisor and guardian, Coran rarely stepped in to speak above the Princess. He felt it was inappropriate and undermined her authority. In this instance, however, she hadn’t realized the line she had crossed.

Lance’s eyes were fixed on his hands, tight fists he didn’t realize he had formed. He took a deep breath and tore his gaze away from them to meet Allura’s ashamed one. “Coran, it’s okay.” He said, maintaining eye contact with the Princess. He blinked slowly and stood before his friends. “This is something that probably needed to be addressed anyway.” He took another deep breath and glanced over the rest of his team.

He spoke resolutely and with an amount of diplomacy that the team had never imagined from him. “Prince Lotor-”

* * *

 

_Four Vargas, Twenty Daboshes_

“Lance,” Keith spoke quietly. He shifted from his position on the bed behind the Blue Paladin and leaned more towards him, resting his hand on his shoulder affectionately, “Are you _sure_ you’re okay with going up in some fancy conference to tell all of that to the Empire?” His voice was laced with concern, and uncertainty.

Lance knew how Keith was feeling, neither of them were even sure the people of the Galran Empire would even _listen_ to what their Prince’s former companion had to say. Nonetheless, he nodded his head.

“They _have_ to understand my motives.” He explained, relaxing into Keith’s touch to the point of resting against his chest, “Many of the Galran citizens have come to see me as some great big redemption arc, y’know? I came from the big bad Voltron trying to destroy their wonderful Empire and rose from the gutter all the way to the Prince’s side. I was a real Cinderella story.” He sighed, his head rolling to the side and nestling into Keith’s chest.

“I bet a lot of them don’t even realize I’m gone yet. Lotor might even be intentionally trying to keep the people out of the dark, to prevent himself from looking bad.” Restless, Lance rolled his entire body over, forcing Keith to lean further back. Not that he minded, of course, he just realized that _Lance’s_ idea of not being very affectionate was vastly different from _his_ idea of not being very affectionate. He listened to his boyfriend continue to explain.

“I want them to know what he did to all of those worlds. What he does to prisoners. What he did to _me_. I want to expose him in front of them all.” Keith ran his hands through Lance’s hair, making the other young man hum in appreciation.

“And you will. Allura and Coran are working with Navil now to set that up, as well as the translators.” He ran a thumb across Lance’s cheek gently, “He _will_ be held accountable.”

The Red and Blue Paladins slept soundly that night.

* * *

 

_One Quintent_

“I was being held in the study, actually. The Prince simply locked me inside after he caught me contacting you. When I heard the commotion I knew that you and your team had arrived, so I broke out to find you. The Green and Red Paladins were lost, so I lead them back to the Prince’s quarters.” Navil explained, detailing out the events from the day before.

A chuckle escaped Lance’s lips, “They got _lost_?” Full blown laughter followed, enveloping Navil into it as well.

Pidge and Keith were tormented the rest of the day over that, as Lance couldn’t _believe_ that the two of them couldn’t find their way back to him. _Especially_ considering Keith had run from where Lance was to find Pidge in the first place.

Lance enjoyed his morning with the team, but broke off early on. He let them know that he needed some time to himself, and they all were able to understand that without further explanation. Shiro gave him a knowing look, but Lance ignored it.

The hangar was cool, at least a few degrees lower than the rest of the castle. The moment Lance walked through the threshold he could feel it, as well as many other things. He was afraid that the Blue Lion’s rejection was more permanent than he anticipated. He felt unwelcome in the room he had come once again to see as unfamiliar. He felt _relieved_ that he could walk into it with confidence once more.

The Blue Lion had rejected him, he knew that. She had refused to put her barrier down for him, and he remembered the crushing realization that she didn’t want him well. Although it was only a turn ago, it felt so much farther away. But that wasn’t _all_ that Lance knew.

He knew that Blue loved him, in a way that only a Lion could love her Paladin. He knew that he wasn’t fit to pilot when he last approached her. He knew that the Blue Lion was the most _trusting_ and _accepting_ of the pride and that she required a Paladin that was _equally_ trusting and accepting.

When he was rejected by his Lion, he had been at a point so low he didn’t think he could trust his own emotions and reactions. He hadn’t even accepted the person he had _become_ , how could he accept anything else? He knew why his Lion had rejected him, and he knew she wouldn’t again.

The barrier was up, and it remained up as he walked towards the Blue Lion. Unbeknownst to Lance, the team had gathered in the control room to watch with bated breath. He walked without hesitation, the feeling of fear and anxiety he had experienced a turn ago wasn’t even a thought in his mind. It was like he was a new person, he had been torn down and destroyed, only to piece himself back together better than before. Even _if_ his Lion rejected him, he still had a place within Voltron. But she _wouldn’t_.

The distance was closed quickly, and the barrier remained. In the control room, the team collapsed into disappointment, their hearts reaching out to their teammate. Lance, however, only scoffed at the mechanical wonder before him. A small, reminiscent smile forms on his lips.

“Maybe you just have to knock…” He whispered, raising his hand up to the barrier and knocking gently against it. The moment his knuckles made contact with the barrier, it disintegrated before him. The Blue Lion roared to life, allowing him in without obstruction.

The last thing the rest of the team saw from within the control room was the Blue Lion flying out of the hangar in record speed.

* * *

 

_One Quintent, One Varga._

The team had nearly decided to send someone after Lance when the Blue Lion returned. He exited the Lion thinking he was alone, just as he was when he left. Tears of relief streamed down his face as he came out, only to be wiped away quickly once he saw his teammates all waiting excitedly nearby.

“H-hey guys.” He said, sniffling. “What’re you all doing out here?” His voice wavered, but his friends _knew_. They knew he had been crying for good reasons.

A barrage of voices hit him in rapid succession. Words of congratulations, happiness, and support. They were so happy to see him as a Paladin once more. They were so relieved to have him being accepted by his _Lion_ once more.

“God I don’t know what to say.” Keith exclaimed, louder than expected. He wasn’t always the most vocal, and rarely the loudest. Nor was he usually one to initiate contact, which is why suddenly being dragged into a hug made Lance freeze.

He relaxed into it almost immediately, returning the hug with his arms around Keith. “Just say how handsome you think I am?” Lance joked, cocking an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

Although Pidge and Hunk groaned at the line, Keith didn’t miss a beat. “You’re the _most_ handsome, actually.” Lance’s face blanked, clearly not expecting a response like that. Keith’s smile stretched into a grin. “In fact, I can’t even _tell_ you how handsome you are, because you’re the scale I use for how handsome _other_ people are.” His boyfriend’s surprise was painted over with a deep blush, the most adorable reaction he could have imagined. “On a scale of one to Lance how handsome is he?” He added in a joking tone.

The Blue Paladin buried his face into Keith’s shoulder, unable to find a verbal response. He muttered something into his shirt, but it was indecipherable. The younger Paladins laughed at his reaction; it was hard to make Lance speechless, but they knew it would be a more regular event now.

* * *

 

_One Turn_

“We’ll have to make this quick,” Navil explained, “They’re expecting a motivational speaker, but the moment they realize that it’s _you_ , the arena will immediately try to shut us down.” Lance nodded solemnly. The Galran man turned to Pidge, Hunk, and Matt. “That’s why the three of _you_ will need to work as diligently as possible to keep that broadcast going _no matter what_.” The technology trio gave a curt nod, and Navil once again addressed the entire team. “We can make this happen. Now rest up for your big event.”

* * *

 

_One Turn, One Quintent_

Navil stood before the crowd of the arena, unafraid. It was possible that Prince Lotor had not organized quickly enough to inform the Empire of his and Lance’s betrayal, but far more likely that he had intentionally kept it under wraps. Unfortunately for the Galran Prince, his pride made Voltron’s plan move along far more smoothly.

Still recognized as a Royal Scholar, it was incredibly easy for Navil to contact a large arena to schedule for a conference. It was marketed as a _groundbreaking_ announcement, one that the Empire would have to watch to find out more about. Had Navil not known Prince Lotor for so long, he would have considered that the ease of the operation was from a scheme to catch them in the act. Although Lotor was cunning, his pride was far more important to him.

“ _Hello, citizens of the Galran Empire_ .” Navil started, greeting both the crowd present and the ones watching from afar on the broadcast. “ _The time has come for some answers. Ones that you didn’t even know you needed._ ” He glanced to the far back, and locked eyes with Keith. The Red Paladin gave a curt nod and Navil smiled wide, “ _Allow me to step down and let someone more familiar explain._ ”

Conversations broke out in the crowd, everyone turning to their friends and families to guess who was coming. They were treating it much like a game show, a talk show, _entertainment_. The noise lulled into silence in a matter of ticks at the arrival of the Blue Betrayer, Prince Lotor’s companion.

“ _My name is Lance McClain._ ” He said, his voice far more steady than he expected. He had never spoken to this many people, or about something this important. “ _You know me as your Prince’s companion, and as the Blue Betrayer. That is_ **_not_ ** _who I am. I am Lance McClain of Earth, the Blue Paladin of Voltron. You need to hear what I have seen and experienced._ ”

Hunk, Pidge, and Matt had split apart the moment Navil started speaking. Each of them located a different access point into the arena’s system, to monitor the broadcast independently and keep it running.

“ _Nearly a period ago, I was captured by a Galran soldier on a mission to save innocent people from a prison ship. I was brought to_ **_your_ ** _Prince against my will, and held there without my consent._ ” Murmurs sprinkled through the crowd, a hushed reaction to the news. It had been widely speculated that he had been captured, but now he had officially confirmed it.

“ _Prince Lotor offered me the option of joining his Empire, or fighting in the arena. I refused to join, and was forced into the arena. I did not want to fight, to kill. So I didn’t. Many of you watched as I fought only to incapacitate my opponent._ ” A pained expression crossed his face, and he swallowed hard. “ _It didn’t take long before the Prince realized that I was refusing to kill prisoners. He punished my disobedience by ensuring that all of my opponents were mercenaries. If I wanted to survive, I had to kill._ ” He took a quick, shaky breath. “ _I tried to rationalize that by doing so, I was preventing_ **_them_ ** _from killing prisoners. It didn’t matter. I still couldn’t handle the emotional burden of their blood on my hands._ ”

Footsteps near Hunk alerted him of a soldier trying to shut down the broadcast. He broadsided the Galran soldier and drove an elbow into his gut. The soldier went down, knocked clean out from the initial impact. Hunk was so proud of Lance for speaking out, he would _not_ let him be silenced.

“ _I realized a few cycles into my imprisonment that my team was_ **_not_ ** _coming for me. I didn’t know at the time, but they thought I had died in my last mission with them. At that point, I understood I could not keep going at the rate I was. Killing people, fighting daily, I knew something had to give._ ” He blinked away tears at the memories he was reliving. Nothing was worth giving up this opportunity. “ _Prince Lotor did. He gave me an opportunity to get out. He offered me the chance to become his companion. I had been avoiding it. I wanted nothing to do with that foul man. At that point in time, however, I realized that agreeing to become his companion gave me an opportunity like no other._ ”

The whispers in the crowd grew stronger as Lance’s words _against_ the Empire became more and more direct. They were listening to the _enemy_.

“ _I manipulated your Prince._ ” He admitted freely, effectively silencing the whispers. The crowd was too stunned to react. “ _He put me in a position where I was_ **_unable_ ** _to say no, because he controlled everything about my situation. So I manipulated the only thing in my environment that I could:_ **_Your Prince_ ** _. I told him what he wanted to hear, I acted like he expected, I gave him all of my affection and attention, and pretended to be absolutely in love with him.”_ He hesitated, “ _If you were under the impression that I felt_ **_anything_ ** _other than hatred and contempt for Lotor, I convinced you as well as I convinced him._ ” Lance dropped the honorific for the Galran Prince, slowly dropping the respectful tone earlier in his speech. Some people had seemingly gotten up to leave, but the _vast_ majority remained fixated on the Blue Paladin.

Pidge typed into her computer as she listened to Lance, coding a minor virus to block out anyone other than her teammates and herself from the system. She wouldn’t fail Lance again.

“ _He did horrible, unspeakable things to me and to other prisoners. Even under the guise of love, he would rather have my fear than my affection. Your Prince is a_ **_monster_ ** _._ ” He sneered the word, his face contorting into ugly anger. “ _I stayed by his side for cycles, as he negotiated the_ **_death_ ** _of several worlds, races, and cultures. I never once saw him care about anything other than himself. And when I finally was able to leave him, he had to be put in a healing pod from his injuries_.”

The broadcast suddenly cut out, only to be replaced with the face of a Galran soldier. Matt was in the background, fighting to get through a sealed door. The soldier was angry, and spoke immediately, “ _If our Prince is so terrible, why did you not kill him for his transgressions_?”

“ _You ask why_?” Lance repeated, testing to see if his voice was still being transmitted even if his image was not. It checked out, and he didn’t wait for confirmation. He scoffed and continued his speech, unbothered by the interruption.

 _“Prince Lotor of the Galran Empire will die for his crimes against the universe and its people._ ” He said, his voice resolute and commanding, though this was something he had already explained to his team, “ _But it will not be at my hands. I am one of countless, and his crimes against me alone are not enough to warrant me killing him. Not when he deserves to be tried and executed in front of the whole universe, as fit for a_ **_war criminal_ ** _._ ”

Collective gasps and other reactions of surprise flooded the crowd. It was a declaration of Prince Lotor’s death sentence. It was rebellion. It was _incredible_ , though they weren’t decided on if that meant positive or negative.

“ _This may not happen in the near future,_ ” Lance admitted, “ _But by the time this war is over, Lotor_ **_will_ ** _be held accountable for his actions_.”

* * *

 

_One Period_

Voltron’s interactions with the Galran Empire became far more varied once Lance spoke out against Lotor. Many more allies came forward, as well as more vicious enemies. The team had several more encounters with the Prince himself, and Lotor had come to the realization that Lance did not, nor had he ever, had any feelings or loyalty towards him.

That realization tipped him over the edge. Their encounters became more volatile and unpredictable. The Galran Prince swung from vying for Lance’s blood and his affections. The Blue Paladin could tell when he was feeling particularly weak, as those were the times that he almost _pitied_ the man. He could also tell when the Prince was feeling exceptionally _jilted_ , as those were the times that he attacked Lance on sight. It was jarring, to have their meetings so different each time. Regardless, the sudden shifts made it abundantly clear time and time again how unstable of a person Lotor was.

Lance stood with Keith and Hunk, facing off with the Prince for the fourth time this cycle. The Red Paladin _hated_ how often Lotor was able to find them, though he knew it was because of their increased contact with new allies. Hunk, Pidge, and Matt were working on making more secured lines, but their situation now simply required more fighting.

“ _Filthy creature_.” Lotor spat, evidently in a mindset out for Lance’s pain. The Blue Paladin had heard nearly every insult the Prince used, and shrugged in response.

“ _And yet you come back for more_ ,” He jeered, much to Hunk’s surprise. Although Lance would occasionally try to rile Lotor up still, the Yellow Paladin had rarely seen it in person. “ _Get fucked_.”

Lotor lunged after Lance, only to be blindsided by the Red Paladin. The two had pulled this stunt several times, continually amazed at the Prince’s inability to learn from it. Keith _almost_ felt bad for him-

“ _If I can’t have you, I’ll have you_ **_dead_ ** _. You won’t-_ ” A shot from Lance’s blaster cut him off, singeing the tip of one of his ears. It was dangerously close to the Galran man’s face, enough to make his angry expression drop into fear.

-and Keith didn’t feel bad at all for the bastard.

* * *

 

_Three Periods_

The celebration after Lotor’s capture was _grand_ . Thousands of people flocked to the Castle, though _many, many_ more celebrated on their homeworlds. The Paladins offered their hospitality for most of the night, but eventually retreated to a private room with a few close allies. There, the Princess approached the Blue Paladin.

Allura stood before Lance with a determined face. He glanced to the others in the room. Shiro and Slav stood together, on much better terms after Slav’s return to the team. The other Paladins stood with Shay and Matt, all intermingling off to themselves like young adults enjoying themselves at any other social gathering. Ezor, Zethrid, and Axca remained away from the rest of the attendees, still recovering from the _incident_ last cycle. Ezor tried her best to make them feel welcome, but it was difficult for them. Narti's murder had struck the former generals hard, especially Zethrid and Axca, who had remained loyal to her  _murderer_ until that point.

Navil walked to join them, with Kolivan in tow. The two Galran men had discovered a mutual interest in a few topics, leading to a mutual interest in one another. Lance’s eyes darted across the room to where even Nyma and Rolo had come. The two were adoptive siblings, as the team recently found out, and Nyma had come clean about her sexuality. Although she was a excellent flirt, she was an even better lesbian. Rolo, on the other hand, was content just supporting his sister in her romantic endeavors. He wasn’t interested in _any_ of that nonsense.

Lance’s attention was brought back to Allura. He felt uneasy in his uncertainty of what she wanted to talk to him about, and _especially_ uneasy in the need for Coran, Shiro, and Slav for backup.

“Lance,” The Princess finally said, cutting straight to the point, “I want _you_ to be our Galran Ambassador once the court proceedings are over.” He blinked at her, not quite processing her request.

“You want… me?” He pointed to himself, “To be, a _diplomat_ ?” The Princess nodded eagerly, to which Lance shook his head quickly, “Why not _Keith_ , the _half-Galran_?”

The Princess shifted, “At this point, the Blade of Marmora is its own civilization and has chosen to remain as such. Keith has already agreed to be the ambassador between Voltron and the Blade. In fact, all of the Paladins have already agreed to become ambassadors between Voltron and various major worlds.”

Lance’s eyes darted between his happy, relaxed teammates. “For what worlds?” He questioned immediately. Allura smiled, hoping that his interest meant he was considering the position.

“Pidge has agreed to be the Olkarian Ambassador. Hunk has agreed to be the Balmeran Ambassador,” Lance nodded along, each made perfect sense. The Green Paladin had not only unlocked more of her Lion’s power with the help of the Olkari, but she had also frequently visited their planet in the past few periods. The Yellow Paladin was _marrying_ a Balmeran woman soon, so Lance found it fitting for him to be their ambassador. “And Shiro has agreed to be the Earthen Ambassador.”

“What?” He objected, “Why didn’t you ask _him_ to be the Galran Ambassador?” He felt childish the moment the words left his lips, but he simply didn’t _understand_ why Allura would be asking him to mediate between the Galran Empire and his team.

The Princess sighed, “You have a standing with the Empire. You were a public figure, and then you began the revolution that overthrew their tyrant of a Prince.” She explained, “Not to mention you already know many of their current customs and are fluent in their language. Navil is even willing to help you as your advisor.”

Lance sputtered. He _knew_ everything Allura had just told him, but he had never considered what kind of position it put him in. She made him sound… _heroic_ . He, he could _actually_ pull off being a diplomat. Maybe. “Can I,” He replied slowly, carefully choosing his words, “Can I think about it?”

“Of course.” She said immediately, then added, “Please don’t feel obligated. This is _your_ decision.”

* * *

 

_Four Periods_

Lance stood at the annual diplomatic ball held at the Altean castle. The tradition had started three periods ago, back when the team had begun accumulating large amounts of allies. The event had only grown since it’s conception, and now, in its third rendition, had become a multi-galaxy ball that hosted diplomats and royalty from several sectors of the universe.

It was a hub for negotiations and, surprisingly, _romance_ . Since the first ball, where two separate pairings managed to form alliances between their planets, the ball had come to be known as _the_ place to find a good match. Matt had said that he thought it was because they strived to do more than just talk, but Shiro had rolled his eyes at his friend and argued that Matt just said that because _he_ was the one in charge of the music.

The Blue Paladin had another reason to look forward to the ball. He glanced around the room, and his face lit up at the sight of Kolivan. Eager, he shifted his gaze down and was _not_ disappointed. Keith, the Ambassador to the Blade, was at his side in a very regal looking suit. Lance suspected that it was made of a much hardier material that it appeared, but he was more appreciative of the man _inside_ of the alienesque formal attire. He looked to Navil, who was equally starstruck. The Galran man at _his_ side was just as excited to see _Kolivan_ as Lance was to see _Keith_.

The two made their way over to their partners and split off to socialize. Lance hooked his arm with Keith and lolled his head to the side. “Hey there handsome, want to dance?” He knew that Keith would humor him in at least a _few_ dances, despite not really being one for the dance floor. He did _not_ know that Keith had been hoping that the Blue Paladin would jump right into a dance.

“Let’s go.” He said, dragging Lance to the middle of the ballroom floor. That surprised Lance, as they would normally dance on the outskirts, trying not to bump into other attendees. He knitted his eyebrows together as he watched Keith turn and shoot finger guns at Matt. Since when were they close?

“So, have you scheduled a visit to Earth yet?” Keith said, not addressing his familiarity with Matt. Lance ignored it, considering how close he and Pidge were. It was only natural that Keith would get more friendly with people he had been in close contact with for the past few years. Lance shook his head in response.

“Not yet.” He admitted, “I’ve kept in close contact with them, and even sent some souvenirs, but I just don’t want to go home yet.” He closed his eyes as he lead the two of them in a simple dance. They stepped around to the rhythm of the music, but mostly swayed and enjoyed the contact they rarely could have. Being ambassadors meant a long distance relationship.

“Babe, you know they miss you. Why are you holding back?” Keith questioned, his voice softening slightly. He worried about Lance a lot. Since Lotor’s imprisonment and awaiting execution, the Blue Paladin had made a near full recovery. There were occasional nightmares, but the Red Paladin worried that Lance didn’t always _tell_ him about them. Keith had his own nightmares, and knew the feeling of not wanting to burden others. He _especially_ knew that Lance didn’t like to burden others.

Lance sighed, “They know everything.” He replied quietly. “Since Earth joined the Altean Alliance, they were brought up to date about the entire rebellion and _my_ part in it. I’ve watched the documentaries. I’ve read the books. They don’t leave _anything_ out.” His face flushed in shame, “I’m just, _scared_ of facing them now that they know it all.”

Keith halted the dance, right as the fairly upbeat song shifted into a soft melody. “You don’t need to worry about it. They’re _proud_ of you. They’re so happy that you’re _alive_ . They don’t understand the gravity of it, I mean sometimes even I find it hard to grasp, but they understand that you fought for your _life_ , and they understand that you went through all of that _alone_.”

A soft exhale of breath gave Keith the impression of a laugh, and Lance replied, “You’re right. Thanks, sweetheart.” The mood improved, and the music remained soft and melodious. Keith knew now was the time.

“Besides,” He said, suddenly shifting gears. Lance regarded him with curiosity. Keith shoved his hands in his pockets casually, “You need to return home soon, I’ve got to meet your parents _officially_ some time. Plus, I know you want to get married on Varadero Beach.”

Lance smiled and shook his head, “Talking about marriage again? How about actually propose and _then_ we’ll talk.” He joked. Keith rolled his head to the side playfully.

“I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.” He teased. “Although it looks like Nyma might finally be working up the courage to _finally_ ask Allura out.” Lance turned to look at the two across the room. They had gotten closer since Nyma and Rolo’s return, and it was pretty clear that they held each other in high regard. Lance could remember when Keith smacked his arm a few cycles ago for yelling that they were gay in the middle of a video call. He also called him a hypocrite, which Lance still resented.

“Wait a minute-” Lance realized as Nyma leaned over to peck Allura’s cheek, “They started dating a turn a-” The Blue Paladin whipped his head back to his boyfriend, and teared up at the sight.

Keith was down on one knee, in the middle of the entire ballroom. The crowd filtered around them, careful not to get too close. Matt’s soft melody remained steady in the background, and Keith’s finger guns from earlier suddenly made sense. With his hands to his face, Lance could hardly react as Keith absolutely stole his heart.

“Lance McClain, you and I have been to hell and back together, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Keith faltered, his eyes widening and his face flushing. “I had _so_ much more I wanted to say, but God all I can remember right now is how much I _love_ you and how much I’m going to keep _on_ loving you.” He held out a simple silver ring and asked, “Please marry me?”

Unable to vocalize a response, Lance fell to his own knees and wrapped his arms around Keith, nodding vigorously. The ring fell out of Keith’s hand as the two toppled over from Lance’s sudden display of affection. As the two were grinning like fools and enjoying the moment, Keith slapped his free hand over the fallen ring and slipped it on Lance’s left ring finger.

“I take that it’s a yes?” Keith teased. Lance nodded more, sniffling as a stray tear streaked down his cheek. The Red Paladin chuckled, “I should do outrageous displays of love more often. I didn’t know you _could_ be rendered speechless.”

Applause and whistles of celebration came from the guests surrounding them, and Lance rested his hands on Keith’s cheeks, drawing him into a kiss. He gently rested his forehead on his  fiancé’s. Keith relaxed into the gesture, fully aware of the intimacy suggested.


	21. Christmas Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deleted the Extras work and just moved it to be added on to the end of the fic!!  
> The Paladin's first (and only) Christmas in space. Originally uploaded on 12/29/17

The Voltron team gathered together for the first time in quite a while. It had been a few cycles since their last meeting all together, at the annual diplomatic ball. Hunk had single-handedly organized the reunion, in preparation for the humans’ first visit back to Earth as a group. Shiro, Pidge, and Matt had all visited home a few times, but Keith had no family to contact, and Lance had only kept long-distant communications. 

Hunk had also not returned home, out of solidarity with Lance. He  _ knew _ how Lance felt about returning home, and was holding out to make his  _ own _ return trip with his best friend. The Yellow Paladin looked at the small gathering of his friends, now much larger than it was originally with only seven at the start of Voltron. The five Paladins were still accompanied by the two Alteans, but Nyma, Rolo, Shay, Slav, Matt, Ezor, Zethrid, Axca, Navil, and Kolivan were all new members of their team. 

Everyone, save for Zethrid, Axca, and Kolivan, were present for the party. As the leader and newly appointed Blade generals, the three Galran teammates were unable to tear themselves away from the ongoing infrastructure repairs the Blade of Marmora was overseeing. 

Regardless, Hunk was extremely thankful to have so many of his friends gathered together for one of his favorite times of the Earthen year.

“ _ Merry Christmas!”  _ He shouted to the team, all of which were gathered in the main common room. All of the aliens in the room regarded Hunk with apprehension, completely unaware of what he was referring to.

The  _ humans _ in the room leapt to their feet. None of them had brought up  _ any _ holidays since their journey into space. It had been hard on them to even think about it for so long that they quickly forgot about them. 

“No it’s not.” Matt said, still sitting down. He looked around the room, a pang of guilt hitting him as the others’ excitement died down as quickly as it had started. “Sorry, it’s just,” He gestured to his communicator, “I’ve been talking to my mom about the holidays and Christmas was  _ three days ago _ .”

“Ehh…” Pidge vocalized, adding in, “Depending on the timezone,  _ four _ days ago.” She corrected. She was fairly certain that their timezone was currently on the 29th of December, not the 28th. 

Lance scoffed, “Three or four days is nothing.” Matt tried to interrupt, but the Blue Paladin sat next to him and slung an arm around his shoulders. He brought a finger up to his lips and shushed the older Holt sibling before turning to Hunk, “What great celebration do you have planned for us?” 

The Yellow Paladin beamed a smile bright enough to light up the room. Matt  _ definitely _ felt guilty now for almost putting Hunk down. “I made a Christmas dinner for everyone, complete with  _ Earthen foods _ .” 

Pidge perked up, “ _ That’s _ what your shopping list was for, oh my god I’m an  _ idiot _ how did I not see this coming.” She whined, burying her face into her hands in shame. In her defense, he had asked for a lot of generic foods and basic ingredients used in many foods.

Hunk grinned, “Yep.” He held up a finger, “And I set up a white elephant.  _ And _ I set up a tree for us. It’s going to be a  _ great _ space Christmas.”

~

The day was  _ perfect _ . The team fought over a t-shirt that said  _ I overthrew the Galran Empire and all I got was this lousy shirt _ during the white elephant game, but Lance reigned victorious. Matt was  _ still _ bitter about it, three vargas later, because  _ Hunk _ had been the last person with it, and swapped with Lance because he supposedly wanted Lance’s  _ dumb oven mitts _ .

The Blue Paladin proudly wore the shirt around, bragging to his entire team about getting the most lusted-after gift. Pidge finally smirked and shot back, “I’ll just make my  _ own _ when we go home. Suck it, Lance.”

With the most offended expression on his face, he cried, “But this one was from  _ Hunk _ .” He folded his arms like a petulant child, “That makes it one  _ hundred _ times better. You can’t just put love into something that you make for  _ yourself _ .”

The young woman shrugged, “Don’t need love, I  _ need _ that shirt.”

~

The group crashed unceremoniously on the common room floor. The Yellow Paladin had just finished cleaning up the kitchen with the help of his friend, and the two walked into an adorable find.

Keith was under Shiro’s arm, most likely from the older trying to make him comfortable after falling asleep on him. Pidge was passed out with her feet up on Keith, and her head on her brother’s lap. Matt was the only one making any noise, his head thrown back over the couch and a steady snore coming from him. Allura had a large pillow on the ground she was sharing with both her girlfriend  _ and _ her girlfriend’s brother. The three had been talking on the floor together the last that Hunk and Lance had seen, it was cute to see them fall asleep in the middle of it.

Shay had drifted off against the wall, with Ezor propped up against her and Navil beside the two of them, also asleep against the wall. The two women had become friends while discussing the histories of their people with Navil. At many of their gatherings, they would often group off, making the impromptu slumber party no surprise. Although seeing Coran laying in front of all three of them, face down on the ground,  _ did _ seem a bit out of place.

Lance exhaled in a half-laugh. “Hey Hunk?” He asked, not looking away from his team. His best friend merely hummed in acknowledgement at him, also looking fondly at their other friends. “I love you man. Thanks for making this happen today.”

Hunk tore his eyes away from the sleeping team and met Lance’s. “You don’t have to thank me for this, I  _ wanted _ to do something nice for all of us.” Lance smiled at him, and he could feel himself tearing up a bit. Immediately, the loveable man wrapped his arms around him. “Hey buddy, anything else going on?” Lance sniffled and shook his head.

“I just forgot how much I missed doing this stuff with you.” He replied, trying to blink away the feeling of wanting to cry. “It was easy to miss doing everything with my family, but once we started going to the Garrison,  _ you _ became my family and we did everything together and I just-” He cut himself off, not able to speak any more without crying.

“I know.” Hunk replied, still embracing his best friend. Lance loved Hunk’s hugs, they were the very essence of comfort. “Once we left Earth nobody really thought to do these things, and it’s hard to articulate that you miss me when I’m  _ right there _ .” 

Lance nodded into the hug, Hunk had hit the nail right on the head. “Cause I miss doing everything with you. I love you man.” 

The Yellow Paladin hugged his friend a little tighter momentarily. “I love you too, Lance. You’re my best friend and nothing’s gonna change that.” The response brought a smile to his face, and Hunk added, “Not even one-upping me and getting married  _ before  _ me, you big drama queen.”

Lance laughed, “Better than trying to ask for a double wedding, right?” He winked at him, “Otherwise I might try to steal Shay’s groom.” Hunk laughed so hard he snorted and pushed the Blue Paladin out of his arms.

“Get some  _ sleep _ , you jerk.”

  
  



	22. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short family reunion, some explanations on Lance's end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could write more of Lance's actual family reunion, but I don't know how any of his family members act! Rather than creating a bunch of characters to be his family, I just made the reunion bit short!   
> Thanks @EmerialynCodeVenice for the idea about Lance using references to explain that he wasn't actually evil, it set up a great idea for me to expand on!

Home was just like he remembered. The fence around his childhood home was still crooked and rusted at the bolts, and the front door still had the carvings he had been grounded for a month over creating. The house itself was still the soft brown color that it had been when he had left for the Garrison, and he could see through the window that his mother still hadn’t changed the floral curtains that were tattered at the bottom from years of wear.

He could hear them chattering excitedly in both English and Spanish from where he stood in the front yard, but he was early. It wasn’t quite 3pm, only just past two. Lance took a shaky breath, and looked around more, taking in the silence of his home before he was reunited.

His mother had planted more flowers in the front yard, or maybe it had been his father. As Lance grew older, he realized more and more that his father wasn’t as much of a hardass as he always thought. He remembered the shock he felt when, at age 10, he learned that his  _ father _ had taught his mother to sew. And the humor, too. His mom had still been bitter that her stitches didn’t quite match up. 

He didn’t hear any dogs, which was disappointing. He had hoped that his childhood dog, Brick, had lived through the war. It was a bit of a stretch to expect that, though, as she was nearing 15 years old when the war  _ started _ , and that had to have been six or seven years ago. 

Lance could even see his family. His brothers were laughing loudly, near his sister. He couldn’t see any of their children, but he knew they were sure to be around. 

“Uncle Lance?”

His wandering eyes snapped back into focus at the sound of his name, spoken in an unfamiliar voice. He spun around on his heel to see a small girl, reaching no taller than his chest, looking at him with awe. She was the spitting image of his mother from when she was younger, and obviously one of his nieces.

A plastic bag full of fresh vegetables fell to the ground and she screamed out in excitement, rushing towards him at full force. Distantly, Lance recognized the frenzy of his family coming to see what was wrong, but his hands were immediately full of the child jumping into his arms.

“Papa said you can’t call often because the space telephones only get signal once a year, and that you have to check in with Abuela and that you also have to check in with all of the other Voltron people and that your husband is going to be coming and that we’re going to have a big party and that I can invite my friends and and-” The girl chattered quickly, almost too much so for him to follow along. As his brothers hurried to his side, equally excited to see him once they realized nothing was wrong with the little girl, she trailed off.

“You’re Ana, aren’t you?” He asked, booping her nose gently. Her bobbed hair swished as she nodded. “ _ Ah _ .” He said dramatically, pausing to lift her up and spin her in a circle. “Marco has told me so much about you,  _ and _ your little brother! So tell me, how many cousins do you have?”

“Five and a  _ half _ !” She replied, with a grin so wide Lance couldn’t help but to feel better about the reunion already. “It’s only half because Auntie V has another baby coming soon, but it’s not here yet.”

Lance looked around to his family that had come to check on Ana. His brothers were much older than he remembered them, as he expected. Luis’s oldest son, his second born child, was as tall as Lance. The three that stood before him was a testament to the time he had been away from home, and the time he needed to catch up on.

“I got a bit of an early flight,” He half-heartedly offered with a shrug of his shoulders, “So I figured I could help set up?” The sheepish tone on the man left his brothers stunned for a moment. All at once, they scooped him into a rough hug between the two of them, with his niece and nephew watching their fathers reconnect with their brother.

* * *

“How was the weekend with your family?” Pidge asked, leaning over the couch of her apartment. The human Paladins were meeting up soon, but only Lance had arrived so far. 

“It was…” His response stuck in his throat momentarily, “It was loud. It was busy and I hardly recognized anyone and there were so many new stories and jokes and references that I’ve missed out on.” The Green Paladin could see how his eyes glassed over as he looked up to her, “I shouldn’t have waited so long to come home, I felt like an outsider, almost.”

Never the best at comforting, but still compelled to help, Pidge rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. “They love you, and you were gone for a long time. It’ll just take a bit of adjusting.” He nodded along to her words as she spoke. He knew she was right, it just felt  _ wrong _ for now.

Still uncomfortable with the tone, Pidge shifted directions slightly, “Did they have a lot of questions about space?” She probed, knowing about his nieces and nephews. Lance’s mouth picked up into a small smile.

“Yeah,” He nodded, “The kids had a ton of questions. They even had me teach them a few things in alien languages.” The Blue Paladin couldn’t help but chuckle to himself, “Of course, they couldn’t tell much of a difference between any of them so they mixed up all of them, basically.” 

“Don’t they do that with Spanish and English already though?” Pidge asked, taking a proper seat next to Lance on the couch.

He shrugged in response, “I’m not sure. Luis married a woman that could speak Spanish but Marco and Veronica’s spouses don’t. So I don’t know if their kids even speak it anywhere other than at my mama’s house.” He thought back to the weekend, where hardly anyone spoke in Spanish. “I heard them speaking it when I first arrived, so maybe they didn’t want to throw me back into it all at once, since I haven’t spoken Spanish myself in a few years.” He winced at the realization that he hadn’t spoken the language he  _ grew up with _ in so long. There just...hadn’t been anyone to speak to out in space. 

He shook off the bad feeling and added, “But other than the kids, nobody else really asked me about anything space-related. They just told me all about things I had missed.”

Pidge’s eyebrows knitted together, “Why wouldn’t they ask you stuff? That’s weird.” 

“Not really,” Lance replied, twiddling his thumbs in his lap, “There isn’t much to talk about that’s appropriate for the kids. And they didn’t want to ruin a family reunion with war talk.”

* * *

The rest of the human members of Team Voltron congregated quickly after Pidge and Lance spoke. Shiro and Keith appeared first, having just gotten back from visiting the Garrison. Hunk came next, followed by Matt. They had each been spending time with their families, and left just to join up with the others.

“So when’s the wedding?” Matt asked Lance, taking a sip of his soda. 

Lance looked to Keith, who shrugged. “Well  _ Keith _ was considering just a courthouse marriage-” a chorus of  _ no _ ’s interrupted him, “-what with us being major public figures now. But I told him my mama would have a  _ fit _ if we didn’t have at least a small family ceremony.” Keith sat back and huffed, blowing his bangs out of his face.

“And at  _ that _ point, we might as well invite the whole damned world.” Keith teased, bumping Lance’s shoulder. His fiance swatted at him, before continuing.

“My family is not  _ that _ big.” Lance retorted, then to the others, “But yeah. He suggested letting a small camera crew in as a compromise with news people that want to see what’s going on, and it’s coming out to a good deal. We’re going to be having it in late June, and all of the photos and videos taken by the news crew will be given to us on a flash drive as compensation for letting them cover it.”

Hunk grinned, “I helped negotiate that one,” He said, “and I’ll be making sure that they only interview people that  _ want _ to talk to the news crew.” Lance sent finger-guns towards his friend.

“And that’s why you’re my best man, buddy.” Hunk teared up a little at the mention and Lance snapped to attention, “Oh come  _ on _ , you already  _ knew _ you were going to be the best man!” 

“Yeah,” He sniffled, “but I just can’t believe you’re getting  _ married _ .” 

* * *

 

At some point in the afternoon, Shiro ordered pizza for them all to split. As they ate their food, they chatted comfortably about their travels and good memories. Eventually, as the afternoon turned to evening and their talk started to slow down, Matt came to a still.

“Lance?” He asked quietly. The Blue Paladin, someone with whom he had gotten a very rocky start, was now his friend. A very close friend, as were the rest of the people in the room.

Lance looked towards the former rebel officer and smiled, “Yeah, what’s up man?”

Matt hesitated slightly. “I’ve been wondering this for a long time.” He admitted, his tone of voice settling the others’ side-conversations. “And I mean, I’ve just never wanted to ask because I thought it might upset you.”

“Matt, is this wh-” Pidge began to ask, but Lance held up a hand to stop her. 

“Pidge it’s okay,” he interrupted quietly. “I’m surprised he’s never questioned me before, honestly.”

Lance’s approval gave Matt the confidence to follow through. “When you were a captive, why did you make it so hard for us to help you? Why did you have the entire team convinced you were on the Galran’s side? Why couldn’t you have given them a sign, or given  _ me _ a sign?”

The Blue Paladin remained silent for nearly a minute. Uncomfortable with the long pause, Pidge spoke first.

“I-I was actually wondering the same.” She admitted, just barely above the volume of a breath. Her voice gained, “Lotor never knew anything about Earth. We went to the Garrison together, we had been friends for a long time, you could have referenced  _ anything _ to tell us how Lotor was treating you, or to let us know that you were actually working with us still.”

Lance wrenched his eyes closed as he collected his thoughts and memories. “I don’t know.” He replied, eyes opening to see a room full of people wondering the same thing. “I’m sorry that I made all of you worry about me for so long, and that not knowing that I was okay and I hadn’t betrayed you made operating Voltron so hard. I just, I don’t know.” He felt his eyes watering up and he shut his mouth immediately, worried that another word spoken would make him cry. He hadn’t thought of these things in so long, and he thought he was completely over it. 

Hunk spoke up, “Lance it wasn’t your  _ fault _ , we just wondered why.” He clarified, unintentionally admitting to his own curiosity on the matter. “You’ve always, always, before  _ and _ after Lotor,  _ always _ been great at talking your way out of bad spots. So I guess that’s why we all were so scared when it was a possibility that you were on the Galran’s side. Since you made no indication that you weren’t.”

Lance nodded, feeling a bit hollow after hearing their thoughts. Then, he shook his head, clearing out his doubts about his decisions. He laughed softly, and looked up to his friends once again.

“I do actually know why.” He confessed, a sad smile lingering on his lips. “I was  _ terrified _ .” His hand covered his mouth for a moment, and he wiped it away to speak again. “I thought you guys were looking for me for a while, maybe a month or two? I don’t remember how long exactly. But since you were planning a rescue, in my mind, I actually didn’t do  _ anything _ to try and escape or get in Lotor’s good graces. I fought him a lot, and I got hurt a lot because of my insubordination.”

Keith stared off into the ceiling. He didn’t particularly care for hearing this, having heard most of it before. At least like this, he supposed, Lance wasn’t sharing straight from a nightmare.

“Then you guys had to fight someone, some strong robeast, and Allura was able to pilot Blue to form Voltron. Remember that?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Lotor dragged me around and showed me how you guys had  _ left _ me, and  _ replaced _ me.” He laughed again, as if talking about a bad childhood memory that was nothing but a funny thing now. “Bad timing on both of our parts, I guess.” He sighed heavily.

“So then I had no expectations of ever speaking to any of you again. You left me behind, so I thought I was on my own, no reason to even think of a witty way to tell you I hadn’t gone all  _ Anakin Skywalker _ .” He waved a hand around dramatically, “Would a reference like that have helped?” He teased, grabbing his soda from the table to drink.

Shiro edged closer to Lance, and he prompted, “But then we  _ did _ contact you,” completely ignoring the lighthearted joke.

Lance’s can crinkled loudly as his hand clenched in sync with his jaw. He set the soda can down gently, and he nodded. “Yeah.” His voice was must less playful than it was, and he cleared his throat. “In order to gain Lotor’s trust, I did a lot of regrettable things. I became his companion for one,” he held up a finger to count off his regrets, “I killed a lot of mercenaries in the arena, I got all scarred up, I advised him on how to gain the trust of planets he took over, I even helped him bring down sects of the rebellion, partially to find you.” His eyes flickered to Matt. “But my biggest regret was not being able to save a single woman who came to me at her greatest moment of need.”

“Uvio.” Someone breathed out. Lance couldn’t tell who had said her name, but he nodded solemnly.

“I had just begun planning an escape for myself when she got out of her cell. Or so I thought, I later learned that she was released on purpose.” He swallowed hard, “She recognized me as the Blue Paladin and begged for not only my  _ help _ , but for me to return to her home planet  _ with _ her so that they could help return me to Voltron. Naturally, I helped her.” 

A pained expression crossed his face, and remained there as he continued, “But then I got scared. I wasn’t sure if  _ I _ had been chipped, let alone if  _ she _ had been. And Lotor, he  _ loved _ to play mind games. I got scared, and I reported her for an attempted escape. I-”

“Lance, you don’t have to tell us this if it’s too much.” Pidge interrupted, wiping his cheek. He was taken aback, and realized that he had started crying. Wiping his tears he shook his head.

“You guys deserve to know more than just what you can read in the history books.” He replied. “She was apprehended, and brought back to the arena. Lotor wanted her executed, and he wanted  _ me _ to do it. The sick bastard had even saved my  _ bayard _ for it.” He took a shaky breath, “And I killed her.”

“But-”

“And then, that same night, that was when you contacted Lotor’s ship.” A chill rushed over them, as they came to a quick understanding of his reaction to the video. “I could have told you guys that I was still with you somehow, but, I couldn’t. Not really.”

“At first I thought it was Lotor’s trick. I thought he had made some fake video call to try and beat me down some more. Then, I realized it wasn’t, but there was no way you could have fought them with how many ships he had recalled at the time. And more importantly,” he took in a sharp breath, “I didn’t feel like I deserved to be able to come back. I didn’t feel like I was even capable of being a Paladin anymore. Of being a part of your  _ team,  _ when I had done so much damage to the cause.“

He paused, nodding slightly. He bit his lip and looked once again at his friends, their expressions a mixture of surprise and concern. This conversation was _ long _ overdue. “I couldn’t even think to try and let you know that I was still on your side. I had to explain everything I said to Lotor, and, and,” Lance stopped himself again. He brought his hands to his face and breathed into them.

“If I  _ had _ sided with the Galra, with  _ Lotor _ ,” He explained, “the easiest way to take control of Voltron, or at least take out more of its Paladins, would have been for me to convince you guys to come in to rescue me.” He locked eyes with Shiro, “Don’t pretend like that thought never crossed your mind. You were acting leader, and as much as you wanted to believe that I was still with you guys, I know that at the very least,  _ you _ were taking me for my word.”

Shiro’s fists clenched, “Lance I didn-”

“ _ Shiro. _ ” He interrupted. “I don’t  _ blame _ you for anything, and I’m not  _ upset _ that you did. I understood from the moment I said those things that day, that you would consider me an enemy, if only for the safety of the rest of the team.” He smiled at Shiro, breaking the tenseness of the moment, “Don’t act like you didn’t, I know you did, and I would have done the same. It was the  _ right _ way to react, especially as the  _ leader _ .”

“You fucked us up that day, Lance.” Hunk cut in, his language shocking the others. Not one for swearing often, it got the others’ attention. “Me especially. It was,” he cleared his throat, a bit chalked up at the memory, “it was really rough for a while.” 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Hunk.” He replied, “It’s been so long I don’t remember if I ever apologized for the awful things I said, honestly. The weeks after my return are a bit hazy, and sometimes so are my memories of the actual time I spent there. I really appreciate everything you guys went through for me, and I wish I had been able to make it easier on you.”

Without hesitation, Pidge punched him playfully on the shoulder. “Going through all that bullshit was  _ worth _ finding out you weren’t dead, and  _ super  _ worth getting Lotor taken down.”

Keith groaned loudly from beside Lance, and the group turned to see what was wrong.

“Are we supposed to do a bouquet at the wedding? Neither of us are women. I don’t want to carry flowers. Or do we do garters? No that’s worse.” He complained, finally speaking up from his silence during the serious discussion. 

Lance bubbled with laughter, “I’ll carry flowers, just so we can do the bouquet toss.” 

 


End file.
